It had been a day since they had arrived back from Halamshiral. Saving Empress Celene and putting an abrupt end to the Orlesian civil war had apparently earned Ellie a multitude of praise and recognition from the grand empire; it was a success that Leliana and Josephine were triumphantly vocal about, despite the mild scolding they gave the Inquisitor regarding her display with Cullen.
Ellie thought back to that night, as she had countless times since it happened. A smile formed on her face. Everything that transpired between her and the Commander at the ball, though not blatantly spoken, seemed to point that there was something there that went beyond friendship.
While that hopeful realization made Ellie's heart soar, that annoying little voice in the back of her head reasoned that she shouldn't become attached. That remaining part of Ellie's cynical, guarded self was slowly beginning to ebb away the closer she got to Cullen. In some ways she didn't mind. The comfort his friendship gave her coupled with the fluttery excitement knowing that it could develop into something more gave Ellie a happiness she hadn't experienced in a long time. But it also scared her that she was willingly leaving herself vulnerable to more heartbreak.
It was a pessimistic, if not more realistic thought that Ellie pushed aside for now as she headed to the man in question's office. She hadn't truly spoken to him since the Winter Palace, at least not alone and not in a non-official capacity. On their way back to Skyhold, Ellie had caught his eye a few times. She was unable to fully read what thoughts were behind his sparkling, amber orbs but if his crooked smile was any indication, he didn't regret anything that happened. Ellie knew she sure didn't regret it either, despite what rebukes she received from her ambassador and spymaster.
The door to Cullen's office was shut and Ellie heard no sound coming from inside. Her stomach started to drop in disappointment, wondering if he wasn't actually inside. Still, she raised her hand and knocked lightly on the door. To her relief, she heard Cullen politely tell her to come in.
I shouldn't be that relieved he's here, I'm just here on business, Ellie tried, silently reprimanding herself. But she couldn't deny that she felt a sense of giddiness wash over her knowing that she would be able to actually properly speak with him for the first time in days.
She stepped inside to see that it was just Cullen in the room sitting at his desk quietly working. When he lifted his head to look at who came into his office, he shot Ellie a warm smile. It instantly made her feel both shy and comforted at the same time but she returned the expression just the same.
This is stupid, Ellie. You've known the man for months now and you're still acting like a lovesick, teenage girl around him.
"Sorry to interrupt you, I just received word that you got a lead on the red templars," Ellie offered, trying to sound as casual as possible. She didn't want to let onto the sudden anxiety she was feeling.
"Of course," Cullen replied, though his smile faltered as he briefed the Inquisitor on the subject.
Ellie could, to an extent, empathize with the Commander's angst towards the subject. For someone trying to recover from addiction, mentioning the substance in question might raise enough problems. But having to talk about it frequently probably didn't help his struggle either. If that were the case though, Cullen rarely, if ever, let on.
On the same token, she could admire his passion when it came to snuffing out the corrupted form of the mineral. Obviously it was something that hit close to home for him since he knew the firsthand the plight of the templars and their lyrium leash.
While Ellie clearly hadn't dealt with lyrium addiction whatsoever, the issue of red lyrium struck a cord with her as well. Not only because of Corypheus' influence on those who turned to it, but because it could have been a very possible threat to her brother.
"Is something wrong?" Cullen asked sincerely, snapping Ellie from her train of thought.
She shook her head slowly, biting her bottom lip. "I was just thinking that, as much as I wished my brother was still alive, I'm happy he wasn't turned into one of those monsters."
The expression on Cullen's face changed into something softer, "If he was anything like you, I doubt he would have."
Ellie gave him a feeble smile. She didn't want to turn her visit with him into a pity party, but if he could tell something was up with her in that brief moment, she owed it to him to be up front with him. "My brother isn't the only one who I'm happy didn't turn to red lyrium," Ellie admitted, meeting his eyes in a gesture that confirmed he was who she was referring to.
"And you have my word that I never will," Cullen affirmed, his voice determined but still gentle.
"I know," Ellie said quietly.
The red lyrium smuggling information was technically the purpose of Ellie going to Cullen's office. It was a matter that she absolutely wanted to address but, if she were honest with herself, she just wanted a legitimate excuse to see him. Now that they had discussed it and settled on a course of action, Ellie found herself not wanting to leave just yet. She desperately racked her brain to come up with something to talk about.
"Would you be able to train me?" She blurted out. It was the first thing that came to mind, for some odd reason, and she silently cursed herself for it. Training with Cullen would undoubtedly be beneficial to her overall fighting skill. But being around him for hours sweating and panting, being physical with him even if it was more violent than what she truly wanted… Could she really handle that much temptation? She was only human, after all.
Cullen seemed equally taken aback by her seemingly random question, though the surprise only lasted for a split second on his face. "I suppose I could, yes. Were the specialists we brought in not adequate? I thought they might be more suited to your combat style."
"They are perfectly capable mentors, don't get me wrong," Ellie commented, trying to come up with a justifiable reason for being trained by a warrior, "But you're the Commander of our army. Surely there would be something for me to gain by training with you even if our preferred tactics differ."
The blonde man paused, thinking over the possibility. All the while, Ellie held her breath, hoping he would at least let her down gently. Cullen looked off into the distance, his brows knit together. His hesitation made her nervous and she gnawed on her lip waiting for his answer.
Finally, he opened his mouth to reply. "I will train you," he started slowly, "But I'll warn you that just because you are the Inquisitor, that doesn't mean I'll take it easy on you."
While Ellie had no doubt that he meant his words, the smirk on his face gave her hope he wouldn't treat her quite as harsh as his soldiers. Not that she couldn't take it, mind you, but she preferred his playfulness over his intimidation. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Commander," she conceded with a cheeky grin of her own, "I'm sorry I just kind of sprung that on you, I didn't mean to impose."
"It's not an imposition at all, I just wasn't exactly expecting that from you," Cullen reassured. "If anything, it'll give me something else to do other than all of this sodding paperwork.
Ellie let out a soft laugh at the man's frustration. The hours of mindless paperwork was a responsibility she could empathize with all too well. "I know the feeling. I haven't seen you and Dorian play chess in a while. Usually that was your break from being tied to your desk."
"Ever since he began teaching Bull how to play, he's seemed too preoccupied playing chess with him. I suppose it gives their bed a break, though."
Ellie thought her eyes were going to bulge out of her skull at the implication of Cullen's words. If her best friend was sleeping with Iron Bull, she thought Dorian would have told her by now. And with how nonchalant Cullen spoke about it, it made it seem like the pair were common knowledge.
The Commander apparently noticed Ellie's surprise, "You didn't know, I take it?"
"I had no idea. How did you find out before I did?" The Inquisitor didn't know whether to be angry and hurt her closest companion didn't confide in her or to feel guilty that she had been so wrapped up in her own affairs to notice any of the usual telltale signs of lovers.
Cullen let out a disgusted scoff before launching into his story, "Believe me when I say I wish I hadn't found out the way I did. Cassandra, Josephine and I were going over some finances and schematics to commission some weaponry for new recruits. When we had finished, we headed to the quartermasters. Of course, we decided to take the shortcut through Bull's room, which is always empty during the day, and go down through the tavern. The three of us… Well, we kind of walked in on them."
Ellie blinked, letting what he said fully sink into her brain. The thought of those three, of all people, walking in on a Tevinter mage and Qunari in the middle of sex was almost too much. She could only imagine the look on their faces when they realized what they had barged in on. Apparently the mental image was enough, because finally after a moment, Ellie burst out laughing to the point that she almost doubled over.
She could picture each of them so perfectly. Josephine's usually flawless, straight-faced neutrality probably faltered when she first walked in. But the more comical scene would have been the other two. Cassandra and Cullen had the reputation for being some of the most uptight people in the Inquisition. Ellie knew that with the Seeker's choice leisurely reading material, Cassandra wasn't entirely offended by sexuality. And Cullen, though he devoted the better part of his life to the Chantry, couldn't be as prudish as people suspected.
At least I certainly hope not…
What Ellie would have given to see their reaction. It made any minor resentment she had towards Dorian fade away completely. She would have to ask him about it later, if he wasn't too angered by the interruption. Knowing Dorian, and Iron Bull for that matter, they probably just shrugged the entire thing off.
When Ellie's laughter died down, she looked back up at Cullen who was looking at her with a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry, Cullen. But picturing you three walking in on them is priceless. The only thing that could have made that any funnier is if Mother Giselle was with you too."
Cullen let out a humoured snort at that, his smirk making its way back across his lips, "I'm glad you find my horrific experience so amusing."
"I'm going to give Dorian so much shit for not telling me," Ellie mused, the humour still evident in her voice, "He's always pestering me about something. This should knock him off his high horse." She deliberately left out the part where the mage always specifically bugged Ellie about Cullen.
The Commander's expression contorted into more of a grimace, "It's not a horse, it's a Bull. And I hate that I know this, but it is rather high."
The remark threw Ellie into a fit of laughter again, and this time Cullen actually joined in.
When Ellie was finally able to head back to her quarters for the night, she still had a bit of a smile on her face. While she did end up getting a fair amount of work accomplished in between everything, she was happy she got to spend a little time with the two most important people to her.
Dorian was predictably witty when Ellie approached him about his involvement with the Qunari mercenary. He relayed to her, with his sarcastic charm, his version of when they were walked in on. His account only added to Ellie's amusement.
While the Inquisitor razzed her friend about his bedroom escapades, she made it very clear to him that as long as they were happy, she was happy. She didn't ask why Dorian didn't tell her himself. He was her closest companion but at the end of the day, who he slept with was his business. It barely showed, but it almost seemed as though Dorian was afraid of being judged. Ellie assured him that wasn't the case, though she did mention that if Bull hurt him, she would kick his ass to which Dorian just laughed.
Between a good chat with her best friend and her arrangements to begin training with Cullen at first light the next day, Ellie was in high spirits when she retired for the evening. She had never been this excited to train, but she couldn't deny she was looking forward to it, even if being in such close proximity with Cullen did make her nervous. But she promised herself she could control herself around him. She could keep it professional. Hopefully.
Ellie practically skipped up the stairs to her room but stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed a single candle was lit on her desk, emanating a dull glow around the spacious room. Judging by how much the wax had melted, it had been lit for some time. Her hand instantly reached for one of the daggers strapped to her thigh, heart racing.
She didn't leave a light on when she left this morning.
She had given no orders for any of the maids to tend to her room. Even if one of the maids had been in her room earlier, they always made sure to snuff out the candles prior to leaving. Ellie took careful steps towards her desk, her eyes flashing around the room rapidly, searching for clues as to who had been there.
"It's just me, Ellie," she heard a deep, familiar voice call out from the balcony, the one that only faced the Frostbacks.
Her head whipped towards the sound, a range of emotions running through her; confusion and irritation being the most prominent. "What are you doing here?"
He took a step closer to her, "I need you to come with me. Tonight. I've found him."