Chapter 2: Gandalf the Crazy Makes My Life Hell

I'M BACK! Sorry, guys it's been a bit of a busy week. Also, thank you so much to TMI Fairy and Nimrodel626 for the reviews. As for your question, Nimrodel, I was originally planning on following the books. However, my friend just 'borrowed' my copy of the book and probably doesn't intend on giving it back any time soon. So, since I know the movies by memory better anyway, I think I'll do my best to stick to mostly movieverse. Anyway, here is the new chapter. As always, read and review if you like it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I only own Iris, her cat, her horse, and her family. The rest belongs to Tolkien.

Being dead makes my face feel sweaty….and my left foot feels uncomfortably warm…and it smells like…a horse?

Suddenly, I was startled into a sitting position when a horse neighed uncomfortably close to…wherever I was. Where the fuck am I? If the pounding in my head and aches all over my body were any indication, I certainly wasn't dead.

Blinking the sun out of my eyes, it took me a moment to get my bearings. I tried to inconspicuously pat down my legs and make sure I had all my limbs. Once all my limbs were accounted for, I found Danica, that fat lump, was the reason why my left foot was warm and currently going numb.

Huh. That's where she must have landed when we…fell. Out of an airplane. How is it I'm not dead again?

"Hey! Danica! Get up. I need to move and I don't know where we are but my foot is stuck under you and I'm freaking out and we just fell out of an airplane and I cant stop my run-on sentences and I think I'm panicking. Did you gain another tail when we…crashed or is it just me? Maybe its me because I'm really really dizzy."

She sat up slowly and meowed at me, letting me know she was alive and well, if not a little sore.

I trailed off on a remix of "oh god", "what the fuck", and hyperventilation when a voice suddenly sounded off to my right.

"Do not fret so much, my dear. You are safe."

I looked wildly around for the owner of the voice, barely taking in the surrounding trees and the crater I was in before I saw what looked like an old man and a horse standing there watching me.

I stared dumbly at the horse before my gaze shifted back to the old man. I squinted my eyes as I studied his grey robes and grey pointy hat that casted shadows over his bearded face.

Why does he seem so familiar? Wait a moment….NO….but that's impossible…Nevermind that, Iris. Get your head in the game and start asking the real questions.

"Ahem, excuse me sir, I'm afraid I really have no idea what has happened to me…or where the fuck I am…but would you mind pointing me to the nearest phone or city or normal sane-looking person?"

He looked very amused for a moment before he took a few steps towards me and spoke, "Well, it seems I may only be able to help you with one of those things. All I can offer really is an explanation, but it may not be one to your liking."

I gulped and scrutinized his still strangely familiar features for any signs that he wasn't telling the whole truth. He seemed to take it as a sign to continue. He strode forward once more until he towered over my huddled form sitting inside the crater. His horse was still staring at me from his spot a few feet back. Creepy.

"Now, what's the last thing you remember?"

"Well, I was flying from my home all the way to Washington to attend college. Then, there was this comet…and then, oh god, everything was burning and I was falling. After that, nothing."

The man paused and appeared to be considering something before he talked again.

"I see. Well, let's start with the comet. Last night, whilst you were traveling in your world, you encountered a rare sight. In your world, many people, ordinary people in fact, perceive this particular phenomenon as a 'comet.' You, however, Iris Caro, are definitely not ordinary. You saw the comet for what it truly was: a tiny crack between worlds. Now—"

"Hold on just a mo' here. How the hell do you know my name? Who are you?"

"All in due time, my dear, all in due time. Now, may I continue?"

I huffed and motioned with my hands for him to go on. He raised an eyebrow and then spoke.

"Now, normally, this crack passes by between worlds, affecting no one and nothing. As I said before, you are not normal. Something about you called to the comet and drew you in, flinging you from your world to…well…here."

"And…where is here exactly?"

"This land is known by a few names, but I believe you know it best as Middle Earth, and I am Gandalf the Grey."

There was an awkward pause where it seemed he was waiting for me to be in awe or shock. Screw that.

"Right…well, as much as I would love to sit here all day and get caught up in your disturbingly detailed delusions, I really need to find a phone or help that doesn't come in the form of crazy, weirdly-dressed old men with horses that have staring problems. So…bye!"

I tried to stand up to leave the freak show, but immediately pain shot up my left foot when I put my weight on it. My body went right back down to sprawl in the dirt. Danica coughed and I knew she was laughing at me on the inside.

Damn cat. Damn foot. Damn crazy guy. Why can't I just go home?

"I wouldn't recommend running off just yet, Miss Caro. It seems you have sustained some injuries when you fell."

I muttered obscenities into the ground, but he either didn't hear me or ignored me. Probably the latter if his chuckle was anything to go by. I carefully rolled myself back up into a sitting position, trying not to jostle my foot so much.

" I am telling you the truth and I think you know so, too. We've even met before. Surely that should account for something."

"I've never seen you before in my life. I think I would remember meeting a wack-job like you…no."

Flashes of a grey fedora, a hurried conversation, and my spilled bag on the airport floor rushed across my mind.

"Indeed. I was asked to meet you before you arrived to make sure you were the one. I see now the Valar have in fact made a good choice."

Why would the gods of fictional realm choose me for something? Wait...why am I even considering this? This is crazy. Yet, it doesn't seem like he's lying…and he does look a lot like the man at the airport and Sir Ian McKellen from the movies.

"Why should I believe you? How do I know this isn't some crazy dream I'm having while in a coma in a hospital somewhere?

'Gandalf' huffed in irritation and replied, "This is nonsense we don't have time for any more, Miss Caro. If I say you are in another world, then you are indeed in another world. I have no reason to lie to you, just as you have no reason not to believe me."

With each word he spoke, his gaze turned darker and so did the world around him, but it might've been my imagination. It did leave me with a nasty chill though.

He quietly took a breath to calm himself down, then carried on as if he hadn't just lost his temper in a scary way.

"Now, let's get you cleaned and fixed up a bit before we carry on."

At some unspoken command, his creepy horse moved towards me so I could use him as a crutch. Too tired (and scared) to fight, I wrapped my arm around his neck and hobbled delicately towards a nearby spring the horse led me to. While Gandalf rustled around in his bag for whatever he was looking for, I decided to wash my face in the glassy-looking water in front me.

I couldn't help it. I screamed. It startled Gandalf so much he nearly dropped whatever he grabbed from his bag. He hurried over to my side.

"Hush now, Miss Caro. What troubles you?"

"T-that's not my—," I cut myself off and cautiously scooted forward to see my reflection again.

Except what I saw in the water wasn't my reflection. The face staring back at me looked nothing like my face. Incredibly long black hair framed dark green eyes, a straight nose, full lips, and a slender face covered in a light tan and a few freckles.

Gandalf sat patiently by my side while I waved my hand in front my reflection, watching its hand do the same. That's when I noticed the mark.

Thin grey lines and the occasional leaf or two twirled themselves up my right arm to my elbow. That's funny. This almost looks exactly like…

And that's when everything clicked. And I burst into hysterical laughter.

"Miss Caro, are you alright?" Came Gandalf's worried voice from what sounded like far away.

"I can't…HA…believe…HAHA," I struggled to breathe out.

The realization that I somehow looked like some stupid Mary-Sue drawing I made and that this all might actually be real was occurring to me all at once and it was kicking my sanity to the curb.

My laughing only seemed to get worse while Gandalf's voice got further and further. Black spots quickly began closing in around the vision of my hysterical reflection until I knew blackness once more.

I really need to stop passing out. I might actually become a Mary-Sue, I thought before I completely lost consciousness.

I came to with my left foot still sore and my face once again sweaty. I took my time sitting up, not wanting to be dizzy again. A lot of time must have passed since I fainted because light no longer shone through the dappled trees but instead came from a small campfire a few feet from my spot on the forest floor.

"Good to see you awake, my dear. I was beginning to worry."

Gandalf was sitting across the fire from me, smoking what looked like a pipe. I tried to reply, but my throat was too dry to emit anything other than an awkward squeak. He noticed my predicament and handed me a canteen of water with a look of wry amusement.

Before I could try to speak again, Gandalf said, "We have much to discuss, Miss Caro. Unfortunately, time is not on our side. I have business I must take care of in the South and I cannot take you with me. Its too dangerous for a young, untrained woman such as yourself to go into the wilderness by herself, but I'm afraid we don't have much choice. You shall make for Bree on horse when morning breaks. I have a friend there who shall take care of you until we meet again."

"Whoa, slow down there, wizard-man. What do you mean I have to travel by myself? I may know this place from the books and movies, but not nearly enough to know where I'm going without help."

"You won't be without help. When you wake in the morning, you shall find another horse in my place. I trust this horse to keep you safe and out of harm's way until you reach Bree. But the journey won't be without difficulty, so it's best you get some more rest for tomorrow."

I tried to protest a bit more, but a huge yawn took away my words and cleared my head of all thoughts but sleep. I curled back up on the floor with Danica curled in my side while Gandalf chuckled quietly from across the flames.

I was woken up by something nudging my head rather roughly. I tried to push it away and curl back into the uncomfortable ground, but whatever it was snuffled rather loudly in my ear. I jolted into a sitting position, jarring my stiff muscles back into action.

Another nudge on my back and I turned around to see a large chestnut mare with white spots standing proudly behind me. I glanced around, and sure enough, true to his word, Gandalf was already gone, leaving me alone with a horse I had no idea how to deal with.

Well, here goes nothing.

"Ummm…hi there!" The horse knickered in response and moved toward me so I could stroke her head.

After about five minutes of calming both her and myself down, I finally moved to her side to try and figure out how to get on. She already had a saddle and two saddle bags off to the side.

I noticed there seemed to be some type of writing on the saddle amidst the design of vines and flowers. It didn't appear to be any language I actually could understand, but I knew immediately it must be Elvish because of the elegant slant.

Fan-fucking-tastic.. I wish I had loved the books more to go and learn Elvish. It certainly might make this hell-hole more bearable. Whatever, time to get this shit show on the road.

Sticking my foot in one of the stirrups, I prepared to launch myself over the horse and into the saddle.

MROW.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DANICA!"

While I was so preoccupied trying to mount the damn horse, I never noticed that my cat apparently occupied one of the saddlebags. She seemed content to just lay there, so I left her alone. It certainly beat having to carry her fat ass while trying to balance on a horse.

Out of curiousity, I peaked in the saddlebag and saw Gandalf left me with a few provisions, a water canteen, and a small grey cloak.

I sure hope this isn't all his. Despite all this crap, I really don't want to be too big of a burden on anyone, even him.

I nabbed the cloak and wrapped it around myself, trying to conceal my t-shirt and jeans, which were the same ones I had worn on the plane. I don't know how they stayed the same while my face changed, but I didn't feel like complaining. They were a little singed in some places and tighter since I seemed to be a bit taller here, but it wasn't too bad and definitely could be worse with my luck.

After what felt like an hour, I finally managed to get on and stay on the horse without falling off. As soon as I was stabilized and as comfortable as I could get, the brown horse seemed to take that as sign to start walking.

And so my journey in the wilderness by myself with only a cat, a horse, and no weapon other than my wit to help me survive, I set off. I prayed to every god I knew, including the ones that apparently rule over the land I was in and asked for a miracle and that Gandalf wasn't some crazy old man.

I'm so screwed.

A/N: I know for a fact Aragorn will be in the next chapter. Hang in there guys!