"I hate these," Red complained. Liz turned around from what she was doing and held back a snort. Red was fiddling with sweatpants that she'd given him yesterday. He wouldn't have looked so ridiculous if he hadn't tucked his shirt in.

"Hello, captain sweatpants," she snickered.

"Good Lord, Lizzie. These pants are bad enough without you making nicknames for me," Red responded. She wanted to mention that she was making a Big Bang Theory reference, but there was a very good chance that he'd just ask what a scientific theory had to do with pants.

"Do you want to go shopping with me?" Red asked making her furrow her brow.

"What do we need?"

"Healthier food," He stated and turned towards the door before he could see her expression. Despite that, he could still her amused chuckle. "That's not funny!"

"It is a little," she responded and walked after him. "I'm guessing that you're tying to get back into your pants."

"I wouldn't be worried about it if I hadn't had to wear these," he replied. Liz got him to stop at the door before she untucked his shirt for him. Her hands brushed against his sides as she did it making him want her to just go ahead and wrap her arms around him. He shook the thought out of his mind. "Sweatpants are a sign of giving up on your health."

"... I'm wearing sweatpants," Liz stated getting a sigh from him.

"They're cute on thin women. On men, not so much."

"Hmm, I didn't realize pants had such a double standard."

"I have no idea what we're looking for," Red stated, standing in the produce section.

"Salad?" Liz asked getting him to look over at her.

"What kind of salad?"

"...I'm not sure. I'm assuming lettuce is involved," she answered making him roll his eyes. "Why not just get a head of lettuce and some tomato?"

"I guess that would work. Of course, I usually like to have something to make food a little exciting."

"Good luck finding an exciting vegetable," Liz responded.

"What about a cucumber?" Red asked getting a shocked look from her.

"RED!"

"What?... I meant to put on the salad!" He exclaimed blushing lightly. That was certainly not what he had meant.

"...oh,"

"And I'm supposed to be the pervert, Lizzie?"

Red and Liz had both worked on making the salad. Red cutting the lettuce while Liz cut tomatoes. Given what had been said about the cucumber, that had been left behind at the store. Red's elbow bumped into a bowl that was on the counter, knocking it off.

"Damn," he muttered before bending over to pick it up. Even though he thought he didn't look good in sweatpants, it didn't stop Liz from watching his rear as he stooped over. He stood back up and looked over at her.

"Lizzie, are you gonna look at my ass every time I bend over?" He questioned. She blushed and looked offended.

"I did not!"

"Sweetheart, you muttered 'nice buns' and we didn't get bread," he responded making her blush deeper. Red chuckled and patted her shoulder. "You're cute when you're flustered."

"Shut up," She muttered.

Ten minutes later, they were sitting at the dining table, munching idly on their salads. After a minute, Liz looked up to see a less then happy Red pushing bits of lettuce around his plate. It was almost enough to make her admit that she'd shrank his pants. Almost.

"How does it taste?" Liz asked drawing his attention.

"Honestly, it tastes like I'd rather be fat," he responded. Liz couldn't hold back a chuckle. "I think I'll just get my tailor to let my pants out a little."

"... Should I order the pizza or do you want to?"

"I don't care as long as we get something with meat on it."

Lesson: Red's not fond of health food.

I've been on a diet since last Christmas. Red felt my pain. I know this one rambled a little, but I hope you guys enjoyed it :)