Right from the start, you were a thief, yous tole my heart
And I, your willing victim
Yep. That's the bg music in my head when Delphine finally saw Cosima
"Are you sure you'd rather be with boring old us than even more boring old them?" Cosima jibes at Alison, after Aynsley and Charity depart, mimicking her posture and tone, putting one arm across her torso while her knuckles rest under her chin, a finger on her cheek, causing Scott to chuckle.
Alison scowls. "No, I have...things to discuss with Lord Felix." Cosima raises both hands and shoulders in retreat.
He looks at her knowingly. "Oh, you do, do you?" Even he has a teasing tone.
"Yes,"she huffs, holding her head high as if that would compensate for her tiny frame. " the new Hand. Who is it going to be?" Felix had to give her credit for effectively shifting the conversation from herself.
"I'm not allowed to tell you. All I can say is that it's going to gather quite a reaction, but that it is a very sound choice." The two nobles squint their eyes at him. Cosima's mind was going through the possible candidates, but cannot think of anybody being a sound choice.
I know of no one who can ever come close to being the Hand that Lord Ethan was...except...
"Holy crikey, it's Rachel!"
Felix's brow arches up in surprise, but he neither denies nor confirms. Well, she's as clever as they say. His lack of response is enough for the princess to say "Ah, I knew it."
Felix still says nothing, even though he all but confirmed it.
"Wait, is that even allowed?" Cosima asks, the enormity of it dawning on her.
Scott nods in assent."It's not like the Order of Maesters where there is a strict males-only rule, but even if it is, it's going to be difficult, even for Lady Rachel."
"I'll have to agree." Alison chimes in "I know she's the first woman to ever be in the Small Council and that there are currently two now-"
"Two?" braids whirl around as Cosima looks at her in surprise.
"Yes, two" she responds distractedly "but it is one thing to be in the council, and another thing entirely to be the Hand. I heard there was a lot of protest when she became Master of Coin, and you've seen the reactions to the new Kingsguard being a woman, and I don't blame them."
Felix remembers Rachel's words when he brought up the same concern when the King chose her.
"If they have a problem, they can address it directly to me...just like the last time, if you remember. A Lannister always pays her debts."
"I think...I'm sure Lady Lannister can handle things. She has her own way of convincing people, just like the last time" he replies, borrowing her words.
"Yeah, how did she become Master of Coin in the first place?" Cosima has always wondered "and what do you mean just like the last time?"
Alison and Scott also turn to face him, not having quite heard the whole story themselves.
The Fairy clears his throat first, like a septa preparing to tell a cautionary tale to make the mischievous children behave, which, he realizes, might actually be the case here.
"It was three years ago, and there were still members of the Small Council from the Mad King's regime, one of those being the Master of Coin who became the Recently Deceased Master of Coin. A new replacement was needed, and Lord Ethan suggested his daughter for the position. As expected, there was a lot of protest, especially from the male nobles aspiring to be the replacement." He still remembers that day, because it was a day that made history, the day that a woman was given an official position for the first time
"Your Grace, may I suggest Rachel Lannister as the next Master of Coin." Everybody, even Felix, was surprised and unsure of Ethan's proposal. There was immediate protest from the Master of Laws who was also from the days of the Mad King himself. "Preposterous! The Small Council is no place for a girl of, what, fourteen?fifteen?"
"She is eighteen, no longer a girl." She hasn't been one ever since she turned twelve, he mentally adds.
"That is not the issue here. There are others who are older and have far more experience than your own daughter!", the aging Master of Law explodes, the word 'daughter' heavy with insinuation and criticism."It is simply out of the question."
Ethan knows that the old man is just voicing out what everybody is thinking, but he cannot completely keep the indignation out of his tone when he speaks.
"If the issue is experience, she has been acting Lord of Casterly Rock for years now. I recommend her not because she's my daughter, but because of her capability. The Kingdom's treasury is running low, and we need someone who can handle that."
The Master of Law explodes "Are you saying the former Master of Coin was not doing his job?!"
Yes, Felix answers in his mind, he was an incompetent graying fool who spent more time in my whorehouses than in this room.
Ethan expected this, he knows he is making a huge and risky move, and convincing the higher ups and prominent people on the Capital will be next to impossible. He sighs patiently, then stands up to face the King.
"I am saying that the kingdom needs a person who can rectify the treasury's problems, and I strongly believe Rachel to be capable of that." One by one, he meets their gazes, Aldous giving him a nod of approval. "When have I ever done something that is not for the Kingdom?" One by one, they drop their eyes. "When have I ever failed in my duty and judgement as Hand of the King? If you think that my duty as Hand is faltering, then maybe I'm not the man for the job." This time, King Donnie jumps a little from his seat, the Master of Law shifts in his chair uncomfortably, sputtering in defense.
"Th-that is not what I meant. We all know you are invaluable, but threatening the small council to get what you want and instill a woman in this room, I think not! It just simply isn't done."
"You, as Master of Law, are very much aware that there is no law stating that a woman is not allowed in the council. It all falls on the King, he appoints whoever he chooses."
"Then I'm sure His Grace will abide by what he knows is right and appoint someone from the heads of notable houses."
Ethan draws to his full height and faces the king, slowly walking towards him as he speaks. "I know that what I'm suggesting may be too much, but at least give it a chance, give her a month for a chance to prove herself."
"A month?! What could she possibly accomplish in a month?"
Ethan ignores this, and looks down at the king in his seat. "Donnie" he whispers, and blue eyes stare up at him at the lack of a title, almost pleading, the indecision and uncertainty on what to do very apparent "a month, that is all I ask." He cracks under the gaze of the man he considers the kingdom's, and his own, hero, the man who saved the kingdom and made it prosper, keeping the peace over the years. He shuts his eyes for a moment, then faces the other members with a new resolve.
"I grant one month as a trial period for Lady Rachel Lannister as Master of Coin, and that is my final decision." Nobody said anything, because nobody could argue and take back a king's decision, there was only silence to answer him.
Felix finally says something to move them along from the silent spell. "I suppose that means this meeting is adjourned." There's the sound of chairs scraping and mumbling as they step out of the room.
Felix was the last to exit, and he sees Donnie catching the Hand's arm before he could turn "I hope you're right about this." His voice is low; scared, but with a hardness in it.
"So she was able to replenish the treasury enough for the naysayers to concede, and in a month?" Cosima clarifies, having newfound,albeit reluctant, respect for Rachel.
"Actually, no, she tripled the city's best amount in two weeks. And now the Kingdom wouldn't be in debt for, oh, another hundred years or so."
"Tripled?"
"Two weeks?" The brainiacs were openly gaping, Alison more composed in her astonishment by bringing her hand to her lips in a startled manner.
"And all the highborn men who had a thing to say against it, they suddenly found themselves deep in debt and stripped of power, title, and dignity along with their money...let's just say they were never able to say nay again."
"Wh-howww?"
"Lady Rachel has an exceptional talent in handling things and negotiating deals, especially with the Iron Bank of Braavos. Plus, it doesn't hurt that they are the richest family. Not even the number of golden strands on those Lannister heads combined can rival the gold in their hands. The Master of Laws expired the year after that, and the second woman to be in council was appointed in the position, chosen also for her special and peculiar abilities. Surprisingly, there were fewer comments this time."
Scott looks absolutely terrified, and if Cosima wasn't scared of Rachel then, she certainly is now.
"Still, being the Hand is a whole new level," she manages to swallow her fear, "because then, she'd basically be...running the kingdom, and handling its...dealings" . That means I'll be discussing my plans with her, if she even allows a discussion! As her brain is realizing the implications of Rachel being the Hand of the King and its impact on her plans, she sees Felix's head jerk up towards something. Something compels her to look, and she wished she hadn't, because it felt like her heart slid down to her stomach, but at the same time, she couldn't pull her eyes away. There, at the end of the left wing, is the Grand Maester, and with him is the person who held the breath of every person moments ago, her back turned to them.
She feels something prickly travel all the way down to her toes as an internal alarm starts blaring inside her head, and then the pale woman turns(Cosima internally debating if she actually turned on slow motion or if it's just her imagination, and why the image was vaguely familiar to her), their eyes meeting for the first time. Even with the amount of space between them, she is very much aware of the sharp spark that punches right through her, and her body's recoil which is just as sharp.
She barely notices Scott as he leaves her side, responding to Aldous' wave, only aware of her heart making a riot. She looks like a statue, she notes the other woman's sudden immobility and the way she stared back, like she's frozen to the spot...good, that makes two of us. Cosima feels an unexplainable smugness at the last thought, and then she sees them walking.
Oh my gods, they are moving, she's moving . Here. No, nonono, wait, that might actually be better than the other way around. I'm absolutely sure that my first step would end up with my face flat on the floor.
She's seen this same person walk before, but this time, closer and with their eyes never breaking contact, she finds she cannot think of a word to even describe it.
Delphine of Lys was walking with graceful fluidity that gives the illusion of floating, arms swinging lightly, perfect curls radiated by the golden light streaming through the windows above them.
"Holy hair..hell. Holy hell." Even Felix could not ignore the allure radiating form the golden strands. Once again, everything feels like it's happening in slow motion, and with every step taken, every inch that disappears between them, Cosima's intrinsic riot grows into utter chaos, warning bells gaining volume. It happened too long but was over much too quickly, and Cosima finds herself under scrutiny by hazel eyes.
She does the same, looking up in defiance, trying to find an explanation for the ominous feeling, the distrust, the enmity, the animosity, the obscure ache deep within her.
She looks like she's about to cry...but why? She suddenly finds herself wanting to look away, not because doe eyes were examining her, but because of the emotions behind them.
Cosima does not break eye contact.
"Uh, uhm, everybody, this is Grand Maester Aldous and Delphine of Lys." Scott presents then turns to them. "And this is Lord Felix, Lady Alison Tully of Riverrun, and Co-..Princess Cosima Martel of Dorne."
"Thank you Maester Scott, I believe the herald has already done the job."
The blonde's eyes register astonishment for a moment, her head turning to look at Scott, almost as if she recognized him. The way the blonde locks flashed with the movement makes a hit on the Dornish brain, replaying an almost similar scene.
It's her! That flash of yellow, it's her hair! She's the one, the black figure lurking in the shadows during my first day here. I wasn't imagining things, it was real!
There is a sense of indignant conviction that swells within her, turning into alarm when she remembers something else.
My dreams. A black figure always standing over Lord Ethan's body...
Her heartbeat skyrockets, her misgivings and suspicion growing by the second, her brain trying to make sense of things and connect them; her heart skips a little when a pair of eyes look back down at hers.
"I'm afraid Lady Rachel is requiring me and the Grand Maester to attend another small council meeting."
She hears Felix, but doesn't look away.
"Will it be alright if I leave you with Maester Scott and these two lovely ladies?"
Yes, please, leave. She can't explain it either, but she doesn't like the way the Grand Maester was looking at the blonde, confusing her all the more.
"Of course. I trust I am in good hands." The foreign accent sounds like heaven to her ears. Gods, the way the words curl out of her tongue and lips is...wait, no, I should not be thinking about her tongue and lips, absolutely not. Cosima's annoyance and irritation towards the potion master grows, not liking the roller coaster of thoughts and emotions she's being put through and not being able to fully explain it.
"Hey, Cosima's sort of an expert too, she's always researching. She's the brilliant maker of the best wine in all the Seven Kingdoms." The princess doesn't usually shy from her achievements, but this time, she is standing in front of an acknowledged and revered professional, and there is still a part of her that recognizes and respects that fact.
Expert in potions,who would have thought. It must mean she knows the exact amount of every substance and their effect, otherwise it would be detrimental. A small miscalculation could have catastrophic results. A horrifying thought occurs to her.
Hold on. Potion...poison. I've always found it odd that Lord Ethan suddenly died from an illness, and if Rachel is as cunning as she is, I can't be the only one... It can't be. Fury burns inside of her at the mere possibility, remembering the image of Ethan's body , cold and lifeless eyes staring up at a black figure. She glares up accusingly, and notices the adoring look being thrown at her, and the reactions her body is making finally makes her snap in anger, cutting Scott off.
"It is an honor to have two masters here then. One of wine, and one of-"
"Poison?" she knows it is brash and full of hostility, but at the moment she just doesn't care, defiance fueling her.
"N-no, potion."
"Oh, right, of course, my mistake," she smiles but even to herself, it felt more like a sneer "it's so easy to interchange the two, just one letter apart after all, right?"
From the corner of her eye, she sees Alison move to face her fully, hissing a "What are you doing?" followed by an apology to the foreigner. "Forgive her, she's usually cheerful. She has had trouble sleeping, and events like these always make her crabby. I'm sure a proper restful night will fix her up."
What, no. Don't apologize, don't trust her. But even the Dornish cannot blame Alison's reaction, because she herself knows she isn't like this, is never like this, except for this particular femme fatale. What exactly is it with her, what is her connection to all of this?
"No, no, it's okay, she's right." Cosima was expecting a reason, an excuse, a rationalization, a defense; she was not expecting this, and she is disappointed at the lack of reaction. "Potion, poison. They are just a letter apart, as she says."
Alison decides to take matters into her own hands. "I'm going to accompany her to her room, to make sure she gets that rest, she's tired."
"I'm n-"
"Very tired."she is cut off, feeling her friend's fingers digging into her arm and already dragging her away.
"I hope to see you again." She almost didn't hear the soft murmur as she is being dragged past. Something in the tone makes her look; the eyes are downcast but because Cosima is shorter, she can still see the hurt and crestfallen expression, and she immediately feels sorry, suddenly wanting to erase the crinkle of worry on those brows and comfort her. She can only grunt in response, hating her self-contradictory emotions.
Even as she is being dragged away, her thumping heart doesn't slow down. The growing distance doesn't even decrease her effect, by the mother, how far does she have to be for me to be able to breathe properly? And she looks back one more time, as though one more look would answer her query. She can see Scott chatting nervously with his new supervisor who, while appearing composed and reciprocative, has an unmistakable melancholy marring her face.
Alison's incessant and furious dragging takes them out of the throne room; Cosima was sure that her fingernails are now embedded in her bone with how tightly she was gripping her arm, and then she whirls around to verbally pounce on Cosima.
"By the mother, what is wrong with you?" What is wrong with me is there's something off about her.
"She was being polite, even after you insulted her, and you still refuse to act decently!" I was actually so caught up with my stupid confusing emotions that the only thing I could do was grunt.
"You're not being yourself, Cosima, you're usually an open and trusting person, you always give people the benefit of the doubt, so why?" Because I've seen her enter the throne room without anybody noticing her...except me.
"Why were you acting that way?" Because I cannot shake the feeling that she's connected with things happening right now. And my dreams...I can't shake them off either.
"She's done nothing to deserve that kind of treatment, why do you have to be so rude to this wonderful person who is practically a stranger!"
"Because she's not a stranger!" Cosima snaps just as loudly, not being able to keep it in anymore.
The ends of the blue grey gown swirl to a stop, the sound of pacing footsteps halting.
"What?" Alison was more surprised at her words than the fact that she yelled.
The princess sighs, not sure where or how to begin, but she lowers her voice. "I've seen her before."
"What do you mean you've seen her before?"
How to explain... "Remember my first day here, when we were talking in the hallway? I saw something, or someone...it's her." she begins to pace while Alison is the one standing still. "I know you said you didn't see anything, but I did, and I saw her creeping in the shadows and enter the throne room, where Lord Ethan's body was being prepared." Her hands were swinging in mini arcs, stressing her point.
Her friend shifts in place, a doubtful expression on her face. "That's not possible, the guards would have been able to notice her."
"I know, but somehow, they didn't. And I...I've been having these dreams lately. Someone wearing black.. "
Alison was looking at her strangely. "Princess Cosima, I'm beginning to think you really are tired." she steps closer and puts a hand on Cosima's forhead. "And you were also tired from your journey back then, you could've been seeing things. And even if you weren't, " she hurries when she sees Cosima about to retort, brushing her hand away, "and by some miracle someone did get past the guards, it couldn't have been her, and that was days ago. She just arrived, even your friend Maester Scott said so. You've seen how she looks, it would have been impossible for anybody not to notice her if what you say is true."
"I know what I saw." the Dornish grits out though Alison's logic is sound. "I can't really explain it, but it was her. She sets off alarm bells, I know you feel it too." Her companion stares at her blankly, unsure of how to say no, but Cosima can hear it loud and clear.
"Come, I'll accompany you to your room," Alison reaches to hook her arm on Cosima's, but is shrugged away.
"I don't need you mothering me, Alison! Yes, I may be tired, but I'm not going crazy." and she stalks off alone in frustration.
"Delphine Cormier. Not Beraud. You've already got your doctorate in Immunology, don't you?"
Merde.
The expression on her face was twisting a knife in Delphine's chest, physically bringing her to her knees.
"I'm so sorry." I'm so sorry that I didn't know how to tell you, but I'm not sorry for giving in to my feelings for the one person I'm not supposed to.
"I'm so stupid." She tries to reach out and soothe her, comfort her, trying not to let her slip away, but Cosima draws back, recoiling, she might as well have yelled 'don't touch me' by the way the knife was now hacking inside.
"No, no, no you're not. You knew these all along." Don't say that, you are far from stupid. You've always been too smart and cheeky for your own good.
As the student calls out her deceptions one by one, the shame and guilt she's been feeling comes back a hundredfold; a thousandfold when she hears the words "I wanted to trust you", eyes full of betrayal staring at her.
"You can trust me." Please don't look at me like that, I'd prefer anger over disappointment any day.
"Then you're the real danger, Delphine."
This was exactly what she was afraid of: Cosima slipping away, running away from her in all ways possible. "Get out!"
"Please listen to me" She was scrambling now, and she knows; scrambling to hold on to something, anything just so she won't lose this, lose her because she is being rejected by every attempt she has to touch Cosima. "Just let me...tell you this one thing. Just listen to me." I never thought I'd bare my heart out this way...over your broken one, but I have to tell you, I have to let you know. "I didn't want to fall for you. I wasn't supposed to..."
Sometimes, I think it was unfair that you were my subject...I never stood a chance at not falling, I mean, how could I not?
She swallows the lump in her throat. Dieu, I just want to cry right now, but I know I have no right to. "...but I have."
"How can I possibly believe that, Delphine?" The honest and sincere way she asked the question felt to the immunologist as if it invalidated all her feelings, and when she scoffs at her next words, she has never felt more inadequate.
"It's not a lie, it's, it's not possible." It can't be a lie. I don't think I've ever fallen this hard for someone, as I did for you, for me to choose my feelings over my career...I don't think I've even ever truly fallen in love until I met you. And this is a whole new territory for me because "You know I've never been with a woman before."
"Yeah, it showed." It was a low blow, Cosima knew it, which was why she said it. Cosima, who was a fun, logical, forgiving person, who avoided hurting someone as much as possible, always aware of when there's a line to cross, went over and beyond that line, because she didn't just gamble her trust, she gambled her heart for this human puppy, every broken piece of it. It might have been said in the heat of the moment but this was different. This was personal, intimate; a shredding whereas the preceding moments were just knife twistings.
Nothing, absolutely nothing, until those three words has ever made Delphine feel like an utter failure and so helplessly insecure for something that she has earnestly and honestly pursued and wanted for herself because she wanted to. Her walls have been battered and broken but this...it went beyond those walls and obliterated what's inside. She stands, amazed that she still can, and slinks out of the room, tail tucked between her legs, and with what little prude she had left.
I'll be damned before I let the first tear fall in front of her. There was a tiny spark of anger and indignation amidst the pieces of her, but then she hears the sound of the broken sobs coming from inside, and it takes all of her willpower not to barge back in and do anything just to stop it.
Behind closed eyes, she was not just witnessing events...she was reliving them. Her breaths are ragged, the twisted and crumpled blankets a reflection of her heart.
"There is no decision Cosima, you have one way forward, and this is it." Circumstances be damned.
"Out." It was barely a whisper, but for Delphine it was deafening, and she whispers just as softly, begging to be understood.
"You don't understand." She was not willing to give up yet, because everything I do is for you.
This time, she does shout. "This is my lab, my body. I'm the science, get out!" It proves to be too much, and just like before, she strides out quickly, head hung low, not willing to let the tears show.
The scene shifts to the clone looking at her with incredulity, eyes, once again, full of betrayal. Delphine, with her newly acquired responsibilities, doesn't know which hurts more, the way Cosima was looking at her, or the way Cosima looked. Her mind is whirring but her lips are stationary.
She looks so pale, so fragile, losing weight everyday. Her eyes drift towards dry and cracked lips, slightly ajar. I wonder if kissing her lips would feel like broken glass, but if it were, I still would...I can't even remember the last time I kissed her properly, sincerely, with no worries and just with the love she deserves.
The cracked lips move, a croak coming out, the sound breaking something inside the blonde.
"How could you?"
She jerks awake, her heart ricocheting in her chest all the way to her ears, her insides an absolute mess. And then she cries, broken heartwrenching sobs torn from the world that her mind is still lost and stuck in.
…
In another room in Maegor's Holdfast, a smaller woman is also twisting and turning in the sheets, shivering.
She couldn't see the sun, there was only the darkness and the cold. She is alone, and she doesn't know where to go, but she forces her feet to trudge on, hopeful that she'll pass someone. She doesn't know how long she's been walking, but there, up ahead! A faint outline of something! She runs towards it, realizing that it was much bigger than she anticipated. It was a weirwood, a heart tree, the face carved on it looking as if it was crying.
Her hand slowly stretches out, gingerly touching below one eye. A squawk surprises her, and she looks up towards the sound.
Is that a...raven? It keeps squawking, looking down at her. It was then she realizes that it had three eyes. She feels something warm trickling through her hand that was still touching the tree, causing her to look down in bewilderment. What?
A dark substance was flowing out of the tree's eyes, growing stronger and stronger until it was gushing out, drenching her whole arm and spilling on the ground below.Blood..it's blood!
She tries to yank her hand out in panic, but finds that she cannot, and the more she pulls, the stronger and more frantic the raven's squawks become. She heaves, one last time, giving it her all, and she tumbles backward, landing on her behind. It was eerily quiet, the squawking suddenly stopped and the tree has disappeared, even the blood on the snow was gone; there was absolutely no sign that it was there just a moment ago. She's breathing hard, still not having the strength to move. And then there is a single solitary squawk that echoes all around, causing her to turn. What she sees freezes her in fear. There was a pair of blue eyes watching her.
Cosima's eyes abruptly open, the panic still stirring in them; she wakes, her mouth with a gasp and a pounding in her heart, and when she touches her fingers to her eyelids they were as cold as ice.
...
Me to friends: watch Orphan Black!
Friend: Who's in it?
Me:Tatiana Maslany(and Tatiana Maslany and Tatiana Maslany...)
Friend: She the hero or the bad guy? Or maybe the anti hero?
Me:...Yup
Here it is, my first preview of the Master of Laws(actually, it was during the first council meeting, but I'm sure nobody caught that)I am darn bloody ecstatic to introduce her, because it's WTF worthy.