I stood there completely speechless. I was in such a daze that it took me a moment to realise what he'd said. He was jealous of... her? I didn't want to admit to myself what he had just said. I didn't want to admit that he was clearly confessing something to me. It would be easier if I didn't. Only I couldn't. I can be pretty naïve, but what he said was clear as day. And just as troubling too...

I stared at Naoi with my mouth half open, not knowing what to say. I tried to speak, but nothing happened. Naoi stared back calmly but I could also sense anticipation; like no matter how I responded, he would hold his ground. He looked like he was waiting for me to say something. Not something good or bad per se, just... something. But after a few moments I still couldn't say anything and I still couldn't think of a response. All I did was watch as his face slowly filled with guilt. He looked almost disappointed. I really hadn't meant to respond that way. I just couldn't think of anything to do... What was I supposed to say? How can I sound supportive but also not demeaning or patronising in a situation like this?

"It's okay... I know that you don't feel the same way. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have said anything. I just couldn't keep quiet any longer. We can just forget this right...?" Naoi's voice was timid, quiet and heartbreaking. He sounded so desperate.

A few moments later of silence went by and Naoi truly looked like he was about to have a panic attack. "Please say something." He spoke in what was barely a whisper and his voice cracked as he struggled to finish the sentence.

I quickly rushed to say something, I'm not sure what. Anything. But just as words were about to leave my mouth I overheard a group of girls walking along the hallways. They laughed loudly and I briefly turned to the direction the noise came from when I overheard the door shut. I turned back and Naoi was gone.

Well shit.

I rushed to the door to see if I could catch him, but he was no where to be seen. He's fast, I'll give him that.

My mind was buzzing. He really liked me? How had I not realised before... Now that I think about it, all the signs were there. All of the events of the past flashed in front of me. I remembered him talking about the person he liked, how he said 'being friends was enough.' It never even crossed my mind that the person might be me. I just wish I'd noticed sooner. I panicked and tried to figure out where he would have gone. He's smart, smart enough to avoid me. So no matter how hard I try, I figured I'd never find him. But I couldn't just give up, could I?

I first checked the roof, then outside, then the canteen, then the classrooms and yet I still couldn't find him.

I looked around at all the places I knew where familiar to him. But as suspected, he was nowhere to be seen. I looked inside the canteen for the third time, though at this point I really was ready to just slam my head against a wall. I yawned loudly and suddenly I felt extremely tired again.

I looked outside. It was dark, very dark. It must be past midnight at least.

I knew that at this point the best solution would be to just go to bed. But I felt restless. I had to see him, and my mind wouldn't stop screaming until I do. My mind was racing and everything felt unreal without him... A feeling that closely resembled how I felt when Kanade passed on.

My thoughts lingered on Naoi. I thought about how he smelt, how his hair felt, how smooth his skin was, his voice. It felt like Naoi was a drug. And without him, I was just left with the bitter withdrawal symptoms. Damn it... I know I'm being really needy again. It's just... I really need to see him.

I really need sleep at the same time though... I wasn't like him. When he needed to, Naoi could focus for hours. I really can't...

I'm easily distracted and get tired far too quickly. Not great traits for a doctor I'll admit.

I'm surprised that he's still awake. It's... really late.

I snapped out of my hazy state when I overheard feet skipping against the cold stone ground. I turned and saw it was the girl again, apparently I'm not the only who was feeling restless. When she noticed me she smiled boldly and waved. She still looked so energetic, I'm really starting to wonder whether she even know what sleep is.

"Hey, what are you still doing up?" I asked, trying to sound enthusiastic. A part of me really wanted to just snap at her. If it wasn't for her Naoi would never have said anything. But deep down I know it's not her fault and as much of a burden it is to know how he feels, it must have been a much bigger burden on him. So I know that I need to be nice to her.

"Oh, apparently someone's just appeared so Naoi sent me to help them." My eyes widened, "Wait, Naoi? You've been talking to him? Where is he now?" The girl looked a little confused but answered my questions anyway. "Yeah, Naoi. He was in his room when I spoke to him. Is something wrong? You both seem very distressed, did something happen?"

Oh... I hadn't checked his room. I mentally face palmed, how could I forget to check his room?

I shook my head, "N-no it's nothing. I need to go see him. Thank you. You go help whoever See ya." I ran away and she smiled happily and waved as I left. You know, I never did see her again. All I can assume is that helping someone pass along was enough to let her pass on. I'm happy for her.

As I rushed past the dorm rooms I tried to remember which one was Naoi's, but it was difficult. These days we normally just sleep in the principle's office. I can't really remember where anyone slept anymore.

Honestly, I don't even remember where I used to sleep.

Was it this room...? No, that was Iwasawa's..

Hmm... I'm pretty sure this room has always been empty.

Urm... That one used to be Yuri's... I think.

This one was Kanade's..

I passed by a couple more dorm rooms, but I can't remember who stayed in them.

And this one... I think this one's Naoi's.

I stood in front of the door and put my hand on the door knob. I was a little afraid of opening the door as I wasn't entirely sure I'd want to see Naoi's reaction. I stood for a few seconds and couldn't hear anything from inside. Maybe he's not in there.

I slowly opened the door and peered inside. It was dark and I had to squint to make anything out, but I could tell he wasn't there. I sighed deeply. I figured he wouldn't be in here prior to opening the door. But it still depressed me that he wasn't here.

I had no idea where else he could be. This really was my last shot. Maybe I should just go to bed. That way, if I do find him, we can talk when we've both had time to calm down. I didn't actually believe what I was thinking. But I forced myself to not contradict it. If I was ever going to get to sleep, I'd need to convince myself that what I thought was true.

I was too tired and distraught to move and my vision was becoming blurry, I fell back onto Naoi's bed. Maybe if I lie here for a bit then he'll come back.

I was too tired to refute this and felt myself falling into unconsciousness. I smiled into the sheets as I noticed it smelt like Naoi's conditioner. And everything went black.

I woke up the next morning at the crack of dawn. I wasn't sure how early it was, but I was still extremely tired and my eyes stung. I almost wanted to just go back to sleep, until I remembered what happened the day before.

I looked around. I guess Naoi didn't come back. I stood up and stretched, still feeling disoriented and half asleep. I made the bed so it looked the same as it did when I arrived and stood up to leave. Before I could leave though, I noticed a piece of paper sitting on the centre of Naoi's desk.

I would have thought nothing of it, until I noticed Otonashi scribbled on the top. I walked over to the desk and unfolded the piece of paper. It was a letter from Naoi adressed to me.

So he did come back...

I couldn't help but feel a little weird that Naoi sneaked into the room, wrote a letter and then left without saying anything. Though this is his room so...

I shook my head and looked at the note again.

His handwriting was careful, proving to me that he must have spent a while writing it. I started carefully reading the note, being cautious so I don't miss anything out.

Dear Otonashi,

I want you to know that I'm not mad at you and I really hope you're not mad at me. I'm really sorry for just running of like that, but I didn't know what else to do. I'm okay, I promise. I just need some time alone to think.

When I've calmed down I'll come back. Then we can just go back to being friends like we were before. I'm sorry for putting strain on our friendship.

~Naoi

I blinked a few times. I stood still, my mind numb as I tried to figure out how I felt. It took me a while to absorb what was in the letter. But I still didn't know what to think.

Relief should have rushed over me. He wasn't mad at me and he wanted to still be my friend. It's exactly what I wanted. I smiled a little, but the smile was short lived as the smile quickly turned into a frown. Something didn't feel right. This was exactly what I wanted, so why did it feel so wrong?

Confusion washed over me and I wanted to scream. I just wanted Naoi back.

But that's when I began to realise. The touch of Naoi's skin, the feel of his hair, the sound of his voice. Suddenly, every emotional turmoil became unimportant. Each and every ghost of the past was forgotten. Every thought that previously confused me didn't matter. All my thoughts became clearer and nothing troubled me anymore... It was about time I act on my own emotions. I realised that to be happy, I'd have to be decisive.

Going back to being friends again won't make me happy... Because that's not what I want.

"Naoi..."

Notes:Well this is... urm... late.

Thought I was gone? Well I wouldn't blame you. I know I've had trouble uploading on time but... 5 months...? Well I guess better late then never. I honestly didn't think it had been as long as it has. Then a few days ago I logged in to my account again and I was like 'Woah I need to update.'

All of my coursework has made me really exhausted and writing essays for English has really destroyed my creativity. I mean, I love English. But I feel English at GCSE is all about writing what you're expected to write, not about what you really think of the books. Like you have to perceive the book a certain way. Is it just me or does anyone else feel like that? (Can I just quickly say that 'I'm The King Of The Castle' is an abomination of a book.)

*cough cough* Anywayyy... The chapter follows a very different formula to previous chapters, whilst the previous chapters are almost entirely focused on Otonashi's thought patterns, this is focused much more on what he actually does. So I'm not entirely sure how this will be received.

I don't think I wrote the ending very well so I'd quickly like to say what I meant to do. Re-reading it I think it sounds a bit like all of Otonashi's problems just go away when he realises he likes Naoi which wasn't my intent. Basically what happens is Otonashi notices that everything hes done isn't really about him. He sort of just goes with the flow for the entire series. So at the end of the chapter he realises that rather then just questioning everything (which he's been doing in previous chapters) and doing what he's expected to do he just needs to actually do something and resolves to be more decisive about his feelings. (Does that make any sense?)

I re-read all my previous chapters whilst cringing the fuck out. I mean...wow... You guys must really love me to go through that. I'm probably going to re-write previous chapters with the help of awesome criticism I've received at some point but not before finishing it first.

This will probably be the second the last chapter. I really do love you all and if any of you wanna talk online that'd be cool.

As always criticism is always appreciated:) Love you alls.