What Happens at A Stark Party, Should Never Be Spoken Of
"I'm throwing you an engagement party. Be in the party room at nine." Tony announced, without preamble, to Darcy upon entering the labs. Even having lived with the man for nearly a year and a half now she often found herself lost and confused around him. One minute she was engrossed in correlating data, and the next Tony was talking of throwing parties. Not really unusual if you know the man, but since he and Pepper had settled down there hadn't been a lot of his bachelor-era escapades.
"What?" she questioned intelligently. Tony gave a long-suffering sigh, like he couldn't understand how the lower life forms of the Tower couldn't keep up with his non-linear thinking patterns.
"Party, nine o'clock, party room, your engagement. Got it? Great, I'll have Pepper send you the deets, make sure Thor doesn't wear his battle armor, there will be civilians present." With that, he walked out, leaving Darcy no less confused. In the end, she decided not to worry about it and got back to work.
Two hours later Pepper strode into the labs, looking powerful in a sexy red business suit and sky high heels. She explained to Darcy that Tony had felt a little left out of the impending nuptials of his two favorite Tower members, and had decided that morning to throw them an engagement party. His blindsiding her with the announcement was his way of avoiding showing he cared that much about her. What Darcy took from Pepper's long-winded explanation was that Darcy Lewis was Tony's favorite, and she was so not going to let him forget it. She went in search of Thor to let him know there was a party in their honor happening tonight, and that he wasn't allowed to wear his armor, also she wanted him to get his hand on that kick-ass Asgardian mead. She had sampled some on her latest visit to Asgard to make plans for their wedding, and after half a tankard had had to retire to her chambers. Thankfully, alien mead, though potent as hell, didn't give one a hangover. She figured if the stuff could get Thor and Volstagg drunk it should work on the super-resilient people of the Tower (i.e. Steve, and Natasha.). This was going to be one hell of an engagement party. Darcy couldn't wait.
Turns out Thor didn't just acquire Asgardian mead, he had Loki charm it as an extra measure. Two tall glasses in and Steve was drunk for the first time in his life. The super soldier was the life of the party type of drunk. He forgot all about how he was supposed to be this shy, bashful, can't talk to pretty dames without choking on spit, American icon. He charmed the panties off the ladies at the party, most impressive of all being Agent Hill. He'd managed to make her blush and giggled, which quite frankly was terrifying, and had taken her for a spin on the dance floor. Apparently, his super soldier agility made him a natural at swing dancing. Pretty soon all the ladies, men on their arms or not, wanted a turn with Captain America. Darcy even took a spin around the dance floor with him, and squealed with laughter when he flipped her upside down over his shoulder in an impressive move during a Charleston dance off.
Natasha, who knew the moment she sampled the charmed mead that she could get heavily intoxicated, had limited herself to one glass and a light buzz. Which made her the openly affectionate drunk type, but not in a slutty way. No, she kept her affections to one, completely sober, blushing Bruce Banner. It didn't take long for the former Russian to have Bruce eating out of the palm of her hand. Literally, she'd nabbed some chocolate covered raisins, and made Bruce eat them out of her hands. Eventually the two of them left the party holding hands, and Tony made a mental note to razz the good Doctor about it once he got over his coming hangover.
Thor was hilariously drunk, he'd been toasting his and Darcy's upcoming wedding vows, throwing his glass down every time he drained it demanding another. Darcy couldn't be sure, but she thought she counted at least ten so far. After the first jovial toast, Thor had seemingly forgotten he'd had Loki charm the liquor, and had been downing glass after glass without a care. He was by far the most drunk, even Tony was more sober. Darcy couldn't pass up the opportunity for drunken shenanigans, especially being drunk herself. She had had a half glass of charmed mead, and several shots of mortal tequila. She got Clint, Tony, and Thor to join her in an impromptu Coyote Ugly reenactment on the bar. They danced and sang along to Pour Some Sugar by Def Leopard, and Pepper, surprisingly, made JARVIS record it all. Thor throwing his head back and dumping water on himself would forever remain the funniest Stark Party memory of all time.
Despite all the hangovers, of the ones who drank Midgardian liquor, everyone came away from the party with good memories, or no memories, which were just as well considering, and they all deemed it a major success. It was the best engagement party in history, well until Tony and Pepper's but that's another story entirely. Darcy was so happy and grateful that she returned the favor by inviting Tony and Pepper to the Asgardian wedding. Tony had to discreetly turn away to wipe his eyes when Darcy told him he was crazy if he thought she was going to get married without her favorite man of the Tower giving her away.