Chapter 2: Sausages

MysticStarblade: Loke - or rather, Leo - sat against a tree in the Celestial World, watching his beloved princess through a little mirror/screen/thing in front of him. No, this wasn't creepy at all. The lion spirit did this all the time, not that he'd tell Lucy about it. She'd most likely Lucy-kick him. Anyway, Loke watched as Lucy walked around Magnolia cheerfully. She was grocery shopping - mainly because certain people ate all the food in her home. After watching for a while, Loke suddenly gasped. A man appeared and had started flirting with his princess!

Deathslayer Night: "N-No," Loke stammered, grabbing the mirror by its edges and shaking it around, "This can't be! He isn't even hotter than I!" He watched in despair as the man grabbed Lucy's hand and brushed his lips on it. What's more horrifying is that his princess was actually blushing when the man did that.

"What?!" Loke thought, "Whenever I kiss her on the hand, she kicks me back to the Celestial World! I guess only a random stranger can do such things to her… I wonder if I can jar her memory so she can forget me..."

MysticStarblade: Loke continued to watch the two interact, grimacing and (occasionally) wailing whenever that man made yet another flirtatious move. After some time, Virgo and Aries appeared, only to find the mighty lion spirit curled up on the ground, bawling his eyes out and crying out something along the lines of "Oh, how this pains me so".

"Brother, you do realize that spying on Hime-sama is creepy?" Virgo asked stoically.

"Yes, Virgo is right. I'm sorry!" Aries yelped.

Loke, ignoring the two completely, gave another cry of anguish. "Oh, how this pains me so! If only there were some way for me to go down there and steal the princess away! If only... there were some kind of gate! Or... or a way for me to force that gate open! I can't allow that brute of a man to woe my princess!"

Deathslayer Night: Virgo stood emotionlessly as Aries knelt down and comforted Loke, who was starting to bawl so hard his glasses were breaking from the amount of force that his tears were flooding out of his eyes.

"Brother," Virgo stated, her face void of any emotion as the tears were starting to shoot out at her.

"What is it now?" Loke asked dramatically, "Has my princess lost her virginity, too?"

"You can force open your gate to help Hime-sama. You've done it before." Loke stopped his bawling before both Virgo and Aries were completely drenched in his salty tears.

"Ah, you're right!" Loke grinned, pulling off his cracked glasses before exchanging them for a new pair inside his pocket. He stood up and shook himself swiftly, drying him from his salty tears.

MysticStarblade: "I could do just that!" Loke exclaimed happily. "Oh, but first, I must prepare my appearance. I must arrive in fashion, in a shower of dazzling lights and roses. After all, I must win back my princess. And what better way than with my 'I Love Lucy' sign?"

With that, Loke then prepared for his departure. With the help of Virgo and Aries (the latter of whom seemed quite off today), he was able to prepare sparkles galore, bouquets upon bouquets of roses, and of course, lights. The whole thing took about ten minutes (Earthling time). When all was said and done, Loke stood among the flowers and other ... strange... things and prepared for his departure.

"Thank you, Virgo and Aries. I must be off to save my princess!"

And in a shower of blinding lights, the lion spirit forced his gate open and within nanoseconds, appeared in a flash of golden sparkles to where Lucy was seen last.

"My princess! Your knight in shining armor has come to save you!" Without opening his eyes, fireworks were shot from behind him making the surrounding area thick with lights, roses, sparkles, and other things majestic. He raised his arm, shining his beloved 'I Love Lucy' sign for all of Magnolia to see. With the other hand, he pushed up his glasses and opened his eyes at last.

Deathslayer Night: What he saw was a man who was suffering third degree burns, his eye twitching slightly. His princess, Lucy, was currently being carried bridal-style by a certain pink-haired mage.

"Ya think," Natsu growled into Lucy's ear, loud enough for Loke (who's soul fluttered away from him) to hear, "that I would ever let you go?"

"Oh Natsu..." Lucy whispered, her brown eyes staring adoringly at Natsu's obsidian eyes.

"NO FAIR!" Loke screamed inside his head, "THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME!" Lucy sniffed the air, frowning.

"Why do I smell salt in the air?" She asked out loud. Natsu only smirked.

"How about we go to my place?" Natsu asked.

"Say no," Loke thought desperately, his eyes widening as the tears were starting to flow again, "PLEASE SAY NO!"

"... Okay," Lucy whispered into Natsu's ears.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Loke screamed, flailing dramatically around as Natsu swept Lucy away. Other people were frowning at Loke's contorted body as he banged his head in multiple objects, wailing.

"WHY ME! WHY ME! WHY MEEEEEEE!" Loke cried. A hand came down on Loke's shoulder. Loke finally stopped acting like a slug sprinkled with salt as he looked up, his face covered in boogers and tears. There stood Capricorn, smiling sadly.

MysticStarblade: "Oh, Loke..." Capricorn said, "I'm so sorry..."

Loke wailed and threw himself on the tall goat. "Capricorn! How could this happen to me?! That should have been meeeeee!"

Capricorn sighed and held Loke close to him. "I'm so sorry... I wish I could help you. If only there were... some way to ease your pain."

"Yes! Make the pain go away!"

"... How about... going for some... sausages." Capricorn suggested suggestively.

Loke sniffed and looked up. "W-what?"

"I said sausages. Wouldn't that make you... feel better?"

Loke gave a small smile. "I love sausages! They taste so good and everything!"

A few people walking past the spirits looked at the two horrified. Passing-by mothers quickly covered their children's ears.

Capricorn smiled back. "Well then, I know a great... sausage place. Let's go get us some... sausages."

Loke smiled gratefully at the wise spirit, allowing him to lead them to the sausage place. The lion spirit did not pay any attention when Capricorn led them through a few dark alleys... nor did he pay any attention when they turned into the Red Light District. Loke only thought about the delicious sausages that were to come.

Deathslayer Night: All this time, Aries stared in horror of what was unfolding in front of her. She sat holding the mirror where Loke had previously sulked, with Virgo watching from the side.

"N-no," Aries stammered as Virgo watched blankly, "I-is Capricorn doing what I think h-he's doing?"

"What do you mean?" Virgo asked in a dull voice, although there was a hint of curiosity in it.

"I'll tell you what Aries mean," replied a harsh voice. The two pink heads turned to see Aquarius floating towards them.

"I'M SORRY!" Aries started bowing to Aquarius uncontrollably, "I'M SO SO SO VERY SORRY!"

"Oh shut up," Aquarius snapped.

"Well," Virgo asked again, "What does Aries mean?" Aquarius sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"It means," Aquarius started, "That Capricorn is gay and wants to do the dance with no pants with Loke." Aries squeaked in horror at Aquarius' statement, confirming her fear. Virgo just blinked.

"The dance with no pants…" Virgo repeated blandly. Aquarius grunted in frustration.

"Why are you so stupid when it comes to family life? The dance with no pants means- where's Aries?"

"The dance with no pants means 'Where's Aries'?" Virgo asked confused as Aquarius looked around.

MysticStarblade: Loke continued to sniffle against Capricorn's side as the goat spirit led them through the darkened streets of the Red Light District. Soon, they entered yet another darkened alleyway, a flashing sign just ahead that read "Sausage Palace".

However, before they could take another step, a brilliant shower of gold flashed before them as Aries stepped out. The usually timid girl looked... different. Instead of the apologetic look she always held in her face, she held a look of determination and defiance.

"Stop right there, Capricorn!" she yelled, "I won't let you go any further!"

"Oh? Why is that? I'm just taking Loke out to eat some... sausages."

Loke looked up and finally noticed... Aries. Yes, he was still unaware of the situation he was in and where he was. "Oh, hi Aries! Yeah, Capricorn and I are going to go eat sausages! They're going to be so tasty!"

Aries sighed and shook her head violently. "No! That's not true!"

"What? That they're not going to be tasty?"

"... No! Capricorn isn't leading you to some sausage place! He's leading you somewhere else!"

"Where?"

"To some male stripper club, probably!"

"... but the sign over there says 'Sausage Palace'..."

"It's a sexual innuendo."

"... but-"

"Capricorn," Aries cut off Loke, turning to the other spirit, "let go of Loke!"

Capricorn smirked. "Why should you care what Loke and I do? If we want some... sausages, then we should get them. Why should it matter to you?"

Aries stammered, turning red in both embarrassment and anger. "IT'S BECAUSE I LOVE LOKE!"

Deathslayer Night: The whole world had gone silent at that moment. Aries turned into the deepest shade of red, squeaking when she realized what she had just said. Capricorn simply raised an eyebrow while Loke felt his jaw drop in shock and awe. He never knew Aries had these kinds of feelings for him. Loke simply thought of her as a baby sister.

"SORRY! SO SORRY!" Aries yelped, blushing so hard that one would think her head would explode like a volcano.

"Now that I think about it," Loke thought, lightly blushing as well, "I did think that Aries is cute when she gets nervous." His thoughts were cut when Capricorn smirked.

"But Aries," Capricorn replied, his smile widening, "I was still taking Loke to eat some… sausages."

"STOP SAYING THAT!" Aries yelled, her face turning back into the look of defiance she held before, "THAT'S AN EXCUSE!"

"Oh really?" Capricorn asked.

"FINE! LET'S GO IN AND HAVE A PEEK, SHALL WE?!" With a huff, Aries turned and opened the door that led into Sausage Palace. When Aries and Loke both peeked inside, sure enough, there were male strippers inside, with cowboy pants and no shirts on… serving sausages.

"Told you," Capricorn smirked as he went inside as well, walking past a stammering Aries.

"B-but it is a strip club!" Aries complained, "And you're a goat! You're not supposed to eat sausages!" Capricorn looked around and frowned.

"Huh," Capricorn remarked in wonder, "Never really noticed it was a strip club. And as for the fact I'm a goat," he turned towards Aries, frowning, "It doesn't mean I can't eat meat. After all, I'm a celestial spirit and not exactly a true goat. Plus," Capricorn grinned as he grabbed a sausage from one of the platters the male strippers/waiters were carrying around, "The sausages here are free and delicious!" Capricorn took a huge bite out of the sausage and chewed incredibly loudly.

"B-but-" Aries stammered, but was cut off when she felt a hand tugging her's. She turned and saw that Loke's eyes were shimmering brightly.

"Please?" Loke begged, "Can we stay here?" Aries relented when she heard Loke cutely purring every time he smelt sausages, which was all the time.

"Fine," Aries sighed, "But after this you're taking me to the movies." Loke shook his head, saying "YES!" a thousand times before dragging Aries to the nearest table.

Capricorn watched the new couple for a few seconds more before spitting out his sausage in disgust. He pressed the lacrima earpiece hidden inside his ear, turning to the exit.

"Mira, I did what you asked for, now delete that stupid photo of me NOW."