Chapter 3: Death By Lack of Kiwi

MysticStarblade: Levy stretched and yawned as the morning sun hit her eyes. Last night was a long night indeed. She spent most of her time reading and researching interesting tidbits about random things. Then her boyfriend showed up and - Levy blushed deeply. After stretching, she looked to the side and found her boyfriend sleeping. She smiled lovingly at him as he snored away. Sighing happily, Levy jumped off the bed, careful not to wake the snoring man, and headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. However, she took a sharp breath as an unsettling sight awaited her: all her kitchen utensils were either half-eaten or gone as well as all the kiwis. Levy paled and sweat-dropped.

"GAJEEL!" she screamed.

Deathslayer Night:A thud was heard from the bedroom followed by a load groan. Within seconds, Gajeel popped out of the room, one of his eyes closed shut, while one of his hands was rubbing the back of his head. His abs were gorgeously glowing in the sunlight, but Levy was paying attention to another thing.

"What," she murmured, grinding her teeth, "Happened here?" Gajeel darted his eyes through the room, scanning the situation.

"Yeah," he replied slowly, "I ate the metal utensils here. So?-"

"I'm not talking about the utensils!" Levy snapped, "What happened to the KIWIS?!" Gajeel furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"I didn't eat the damn kiwis," Gajeel retorted, "You know I don't eat them."

"Then who did?"

"It must've been Lily-"

"LILY DOESN'T WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND YOU KNOW THAT!" Levy screamed. Gajeel winced.

"So what? We got robbed of some kiwis and nothin' else-"

"You don't understand," Levy pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration, "Remember the last time Lily didn't eat kiwis in the morning?" Gajeel thought back- and paled.

"Oh dear god," Gajeel murmured in horror, "Have mercy on my soul."

"Not your soul," Levy whispered, "My soul, too." A groan came from Lily's room. Both Gajeel and Levy froze.

"What the hell do we do now?!" Gajeel yelped.

MysticStarblade: Levy looked down and thought hard. "Well, for starters, go buy some more kiwis and hurry back. Oh, and along the way, buy more kitchen utensils. Make them plastic or wooden."

Gajeel gasped wide-eyed. "PLASTIC?! But I need my metal!"

From Lily's room, Levy and Gajeel heard a groan.

"Sshh! Be quiet!" Levy hissed, "And yes, plastic. You always eat all the metal forks and spoons, so every few days, we have to buy new ones! We're getting plastic this time so you can stop."

Gajeel groaned. "Ugh... Fine. But I'm just gonna end up eating the pots and pans next. What're you gonna do about Lily?"

"Let me worry about him. Just go, already!"

The pierced man nodded, turning to leave. At the door, he stopped and sniffed. "Something smells weird..."

"Go!"

Gajeel groaned and turned out the door, still wondering what those scents could possibly mean.

Deathslayer Night: Levy, watching Gajeel go, sighed while rubbing her forehead.

"Levy?" a deep voice asked. Levy froze and slowly turned around to see Lily, rubbing his eyes.

"Where did Gajeel go?" he asked, stretching his tiny arms. Levy began sweating profusely as Lily went to the kitchen, frowning.

"E-Erm…" Levy stammered, "He- uh- he went shopping for new kitchen utensils." Levy knew this was half true, so it isn't exactly lying.

"Oh, I see," Came Lily's reply as he grabbed a plate, "Levy, where are the kiwis?" Levy gulped.

"Um…" Levy started pouring sweat so much that she was slowly creating a puddle.

"Levy," Lily turned, putting the plate on the kitchen table, "Are you OK? You're sweating like crazy, even though it's only 75 degrees in here."

"I-I'm fine," Levy murmured, "Er, how about eating oranges- or perhaps apples?" Lily snorted.

"Levy," he answered, "Oranges give me stomach aches, and apples are to hard to chew. I want kiwis!" During the time he was talking, Levy's eyes trailed something that might help in this situation.

"Er, they're in the fridge." Levy said nervously, slowly sliding to the place that had the item that could be a lifesaver.

"Alright," Lily said, "I remember now- I put in my special kiwis here for today- they might help me during the mission." Lily opened the fridge and peeked inside. He saw no kiwis.

"Levy," Lily questioned, raising his eyebrows, "Where are the kiwis-" THUD! Lily fell to the floor with a dazed expression, as a slight bump grew on his head. Above him stood Levy with a huge, wooden rolling pin, which was the only thing that Gajeel didn't eat because it wasn't, well, metal. Levy dropped her weapon in horror.

"I'm sorry, Lily!" Levy thought, "But that was for the sake of me and Gajeel!"

MysticStarblade: After asking Mavis for forgiveness (and Lily too, not that he was paying any attention), Levy quickly scooped up the little black furball and sat him down on a chair. Using her Solid-Script magic, she called out a rope and tied the Exceed to the chair tightly.

Levy sighed. "I hope that's enough to hold him. Oh Mavis, where's Gajeel?"

No sooner had she said that, Gajeel waltzed through the door, munching on a spoon he bought at the store and holding a bag of plastic and wooden utensils.

"GAJEEL!" Levy screeched, "WHERE ARE THE KIWIS?!"

The iron-studded man spat the metal out as his eyes widened. "OH CRAP! I FORGOT!"

"HOW COULD YOU FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!"

"I'M JOKING! Besides, I did check to see if there were kiwis."

"... and?"

"The grocery store ran out."

"..."

Off to the side, Lily groaned.

Gajeel looked over to his cat and choked on his spit. "Y-you tied him up?! And what's with that bump?!"

Levy sighed. "We had no choice, Gajeel. Now what are we gonna do about those kiwis?!"

He shrugged. "Well, I know we're screwed."

Deathslayer Night: "NO!" Levy screamed, shaking her head, "I do not want to suffer the wrath of Lily at all! That's right!" Levy slammed her fist onto her other hand, "WE CAN JUST CALL JET AND DROY!" Gajeel gaped.

"Those cheerleaders?" Gajeel murmured, raising an eyebrow. Levy wildly flailed to the communication lacrima.

"It's the only way!" Levy started dialing Jet's number down, her lips pursed in concentration.

"How is that the only way?!" Gajeel complained. Levy glared at him.

"Droy possibly has these kiwi seeds with him, and Jet can get him here fast!" Levy answered frantically before pressing the lacrima to her ear

"Jet?" She said into the phone. "Jet, I need your help-" PHOOM!

"WE ARE HERE, LEVY-CHAN~!" Jet and Droy cried in unison, with tears streaming down their cheeks as they tumbled through the back door.

"That was quick…" Gajeel murmured as Droy took Levy's hands.

"We will help you with your kiwi problem!" He cried dramatically. Levy had a quizzical look on her face.

"Wait…" Levy asked, "How did you guys know that we needed kiwis-"

"Not important! Anyways, we have planted kiwis before hand if such case has risen!" Jet wailed, "We have them in the back right now!"

"But-"

"You don't have to thank us, Levy-chan~!"

"But-"

"We will do anything-"

"ENOUGH." Gajeel stated, a devilish aura coming out of him. Jet and Droy stopped their rambling to give Gajeel a glare.

"Jet." Gajeel looked at the orange-haired man.

"Droy." Gajeel glared at the other man.

"What the hell were you doing behind our house this morning?"

MysticStarblade: The two cheerleaders sweat-dropped nervously. "W-what are you talking about?" asked Droy.

"Of course we were waiting in case our Levy-chan needed any assistance!" finished Jet.

Gajeel snarled. "Oh really? Then why do I smell kiwis in your shitty breaths?"

Levy gasped. Did... did her friends eat all the kiwis? "Jet, Droy? Is... Is that true?"

Gajeel scoffed. "Woman, if I smelled it, then it's gotta be tru- ouch!"

The blue-haired girl huffed and let go of her boyfriend's obnoxiously long hair. "Answer me Jet, Droy. Did you eat all the kiwis?"

The two remained silent, not wanting to answer their teammate. Lily groaned from his seat in the corner.

"Oi," Gajeel warned, "answer the goddamn question!"

"A-alright!" Jet confessed, "We ate all the kiwis in your house!"

"And all the kiwis in Magnolia!" Droy added.

"But we only did this to get our Levy-chan's attention!"

"Because she never seems to notice us anymore!"

"We just wanted to feel like she still needed us!"

"We just wanted to help Levy-chan!"

"PLEASE FORGIVE US, LEVY-CHAAAAAAN!" Jet and Droy ended, tears flowing down their faces.

Deathslayer Night: Gajeel saw Levy's face pale exponentially for some reason.

"Levy?" Gajeel asked, "What's wrong?" Levy ignored him, looking directly at her two companions.

"Oh, it's not me that you should be begging forgiveness," Levy murmured, pointing to a thing past the two cheerleaders, "It's Lily you should be begging for forgiveness." Jet and Droy stopped rambling, their mouths starting to gape as they slowly turned around. Sure enough, Lily, in his battle form, was towering over them, his giant sword in hand.

"Jet. Droy." Lily acknowledged, a fearsome aura forming around him. The duo gulped in terror as Levy and Gajeel quietly snuck out, not wanting to face the wrath of Lily the Exceed.

"D-don't worry," Jet gulped.

"W-we'll make the kiwis grow as quickly as possible!" Droy squeaked out. Lily's aura grew even darker as he scowled menacingly.

"How about the special kiwis I put in the fridge?" Lily snarled, raising his sword, "Did you plant the seeds that were inside them?"

"You mean the kiwis that were somehow glowing?" Droy remarked, forgetting the debacle he and Jet were in, "Oh no, they were so delicious I swallowed them whole- UMPH!"

Jet, in a panic, tried to cover up Droy's mouth, but the damage was done. Lily was silent, although he was literally vibrating in anger. The cat looked up, revealing that his eyes were tinged blood-red as he murmured one word.

"Die." On that day, Jet and Droy's screams would forever haunt young children.