History was usually Lauren's favorite subject at Sacred Heart, but today's lesson was lost on a young blond. She was replaying the scene from the cafeteria from just half hour ago on an endless loop in her mind, with only one thought running through it: what have I done?
She made a effort to shake herself out of it. What's done is done, and what she needed now is a way to move forward. But no solutions came to mind. Instead, regret, fear and shame started flooding her system in waves, bringing new, even less cheery thoughts with them. Should I tell someone I was responsible? What would the girls from the team do to me when they find out? What would the principle do? Will I get expelled? Will I get arrested and sent to jail?
She felt nausea hit like a fist to the stomach and dashed out of the classroom, one hand covering her mouth, the other squeezing at her midsection. She made it to the bathroom with not a second to spare. When her stomach had stopped violently emptying itself, she bent over the sink to rinse out her mouth and splash cold water on her face. A sudden voice from the corner of the bathroom startled her.
"Didn't think anyone outside of our group was affected. Did you eat something from our table after we all left?" Bo's voice was raspy and tired. She was sitting on the floor in the farthest corner of the bathroom, looking pale and listless.
"Bo, you don't look very good. Are you alight?" Lauren questioned, making a step toward the older teen, but was halted by a hand raised between them.
"Never better. You?" Despite asking for her space, Bo was clearly concerned about the blond teen, and Lauren's heart squeezed painfully at the thought that she was the cause of Bo's suffering and yet on a receiving end of her empathy.
"You don't look OK. Maybe you should go home, Bo. Do you want me to help you up?" Lauren asked, extending her arms out but not coming any closer.
Bo just shook her head no. "No, I think I'll stay here for a bit longer. Did you know they took Clio to the hospital?"
"I heard the ambulance, but I didn't know they took anyone with them." Lauren admitted. She wondered why Bo wanted to stay where she was, and if maybe she should go get a nurse to come here.
"So, how come you're sick, Lauren?" Bo persisted in asking.
Lauren took a deep breath, thinking about ways to answer the question. She probably spent too long thinking, because Bo started speaking again. This time, it seemed she was not so much speaking to Lauren, as thinking out loud.
"It must have been the cookies Clio brought." She muttered, not looking at Lauren. "It was the only thing all of us ate there. Where would she have gotten them? They came in Tupperware container, so they weren't store bought. And Clio doesn't bake. So she would have gotten them from someone else..." She droned on.
"You know, 'gotten' is such a benign word. What she did was 'take'. By force." Lauren hissed, then hastily clamped a hand over her mouth to prevent any more words from coming out.
But it was enough. Enough for Bo to put two and two together. The brunette teen rose to her feet slowly and stepped next to Lauren. She stood towering over the younger girl, bracketing her between herself and the bathroom sink. Her dark brown eyes looked cold and stormy.
"It was you, wasn't it? Did you do this, Lauren?" She demanded.
Lauren nodded, too emotional to speak. Her legs were shacking and her stomach was doing cartwheels.
"Why?" Bo whispered, bewildered.
"Why what?" Lauren hissed back. "Why did she take what didn't belong to her? Or why did I inject the chemical that would cause vomiting into the raisins?"
"Clio is an ass, but it doesn't justify you going all 'revenge of the nerds' on her and our group." Bo shouted back. "Did you want to put all of his in the hospital?"
That effectively sidetracked Lauren's indignation and she visibly deflated, contrite.
"God, no! Bo, I'm sorry about that. I must have put too much in, I never expected a reaction as severe as you were having." She pleaded with the older girl. "I just wanted to get back at her and the others for the other day. Please, you have to believe me I wasn't trying to seriously hurt anyone."
"I don't know what to believe anymore, Lauren." Bo accused. "I thought we were friends. I introduced you around, I took you to meet my gramps. Why didn't you warn me?"
"Why did you eat something that you knew was ill-gained?" Lauren retorted. "You should have known, or at least suspected, that Clio took those cookies away from someone."
Bo's stony face confirmed to Lauren that the older teen knew or suspected as much about Clio.
"You don't get to put on all this on Clio, Lauren. This was a shitty thing to do." Bo turned and headed for the door.
Lauren lunged after her, grabbing the other girl's hand. "Bo, please, wait! I'm sorry! I do want to be your friend. Please forgive me!" She pleaded.
Bo pulled her hand away, sneering. "We are done, Lauren." And walked through the door without turning back.
Lauren stumbled after her, but her feet wouldn't carry her and she sank to her knees, sobbing.
Days passed.
In the wake of her fight with Bo a new normal set in.
Some things were as if she never met Bo.
She was sitting with strangers again in all of her classes - Bo asked to be moved to another desk in the one class they shared. The older kids still bullied her (though Clio had, thankfully, kept her distance). She still felt unnaturally unique in the sea of high school students.
And some things were different – because there was a time when Bo was in Lauren's life.
She had friends now. Nadia, Ciara and Lachlan would invite her to sit with them at lunch, and would always greet her in the hallways. She had people she could talk to, who would treat her like she belonged in their little group. Who would stare down at a kid who threw chalk at her and help her brush it off her uniform. Who would pull a note someone stuck to her back that said "Moo if you see this". Lauren had been walking around with it for several hours, encountering dozens of kids in the hallways, most of who bellowed "mooo!" as they walked past. Bo was one of the few who didn't, but she didn't alert Lauren to the note either.
The other difference was harder for Lauren to describe and to understand. It was despair. It was yarning. It was emptiness. It was grief. It was all for Bo.
Lauren knew she hurt the older girl deeply, and was desperate to re-establish a connection with her, at any cost. She waited for Bo after school, but the older teen walked by her as if she wasn't there. She put notes in her back pack, in her locker, paid another kid to hand them to her, but there was never a response. She came in early one day and snuck into the classroom where Bo had her first period, and wrote "I'm sorry. Please forgive me" on the blackboard, but she wasn't sure if Bo saw the message – if she came into the classroom after the teacher had, the note would have been erased before she could see it.
As a last resort, she begged her aunt to take her to "Dal Riata". It was a weekend, and they came into the tavern just as the lunch crowd had thinned out. Trick was tending bar and Bo was nowhere to be seen. Trick had noticed them, but didn't come out to greet them, so they walked over to him.
Lauren took in the older man's posture and decided he knew what she'd done. She stood in front of him, lost for words. Her aunt spoke to break up the awkward silence that formed.
"Hi, I'm Ashley, Lauren's aunt. And you are Bo's grandfather?" she said, extending a hand to the older man.
Trick didn't hesitate long to shake the woman's hand and return the greeting. "Yes, I'm Trick. Nice to meet you, Ashley." He looked back at Lauren, obviously expecting her to say something.
If only I knew what to say, Lauren thought.
Her aunt placed a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder and said the only thing she thought would help.
"When in doubt, start with the most important thing," she whispered, bringing Lauren out of her stupor.
"I'm sorry!" Lauren rushed to say, before she lost her nerve. It felt good to let the words out. She took a calming breath and continued. "I'm sorry I spiked the cookies. I'm sorry I didn't warn Bo about them. I'm sorry I put Bo's teammate in the hospital. I'm sorry I hurt anyone." She implored. But having said that, she struggled to continue.
Trick did not interrupt her, but when she paused for the second time, he lowered his eyes to the counter, making it hard to tell how he was tacking Lauren's apology.
When he did speak, it was a non sequitur. "Are the flowers for me?"
Lauren felt lost for a second, until she remembered a bouquet she held in one hand. In her other hand was a bottle of whiskey. She bought both with her allowance. It made a significant dent in her savings, putting the industrial-grade microscope further out of her reach, but she insisted she should pay for both items at the store.
"No, but this is." She placed the bottle of aged whiskey on the bar next to Trick.
"You do remember I own a tavern," Trick smiled, pointing at the wall of liquor behind him.
"Yes," Lauren replied shyly, "But this one was paid by someone other than you." She indicated the bottle she brought.
"It's good stuff," Trick allowed, picking up the bottle and examining it. "Thank you, Lauren. So the flowers…?" He motioned to the bouquet again, obviously curious.
Lauren looked at the arrangement of wildflowers in her hand. It was bright, boisterous, and untamed, very much like the girl she bought them for.
"It's for Bo. I don't know what kind of flowers she likes, but I thought she might like these. I don't like flowers much, I like cookies. I was going to bake her a cake, I'm good at backing…" Lauren rambled.
"So I've heard" Trick interjected, but looked apologetic for interrupting.
"Yes, obviously it would have been inappropriate at the moment. But I wanted to bring her something."
"Flowers is an odd choice," Trick prodded, hoping for an explanation. But Lauren had no explanation for why she chose to buy the flower arrangement. And there was something that she thought was more important than to look into her motivation for the purchase.
"Do you think I can speak to Bo? Is she here?"
"She is. I'll go ask her." Trick agreed, and walked off to the back of the bar, where a door led to another section, likely offices or a living space. He came back just a few minutes later, his kind eyes telling Lauren her request was denied even before he spoke.
"I'm sorry, Lauren, she didn't want to see you." He said, placing a hand on Lauren's arm, trying to lessen the sting of rejection. He tried to catch Lauren's eyes before reassuring her. "I'll speak to her. Bo is a hot-head. She gets angry easily, but usually doesn't stay mad for long. When she does…" he trailed off. "But she'll see how hard you are trying to get her forgiveness, Lauren, and in the end it will be enough."
Lauren nodded, sniffling. She'll try forever, if that what it took.
"Do you have any advice? How to get her to talk to me?" She pleaded with the older man.
Trick shook his head, "Just be patient. I'm sorry, Lauren, when she gets like this, nothing will get through until she's ready to let it in."
Lauren whipped at the tears streaming down her cheeks and nodded at Bo's grandfather. "I understand. Thank you, Trick." She handed him the flowers and a letter she brought with her. "Would you give her these?"
"Of course, child." Trick smiled at the blond girl and unexpectedly hugged her. When he stepped away, Lauren was crying again, unable to say anything else.
Ashley wrapped her arm around Lauren's shoulders and offered her other hand to Trick.
"We should get going. Thank you for your help, Trick." She smiled, liking the older man and his good nature.
"Nice meeting you, Ashley," Trick responded. "Good luck, Lauren."
Luck was an unknown element, Lauren thought as they were leaving, not one to rely on. But she did have intelligence, drive and patience – three things that, when combined, rarely failed to yield results. She'll get her friend back, they will have a second chance at friendship.