Carlisle adjust his tie and takes a deep, relaxing breath of the fresh air coming through the bedroom window. The calming air does not counteract the pop music playing in the living room, though. He sighs as he listens to the lyrics. All of the songs his girls play nowadays are sexual. Why can't anyone seem to make wholesome music anymore?
He shakes his head and the newest generation and leaves his room. The rest of the house is brightly lit, his kids have almost every light on. Alice and Rosalie laugh as Emmett complains about his strict History teacher. Esme waters her potted plants. Only Jasper and Edward are unattended for. Carlisle walks up to his wife and gives her a kiss before questioning where the other two boys are.
"They just stepped into Edward's room." She tells him.
"Really? Both of them?" Carlisle asks. She nods.
"I was surprised too, but at least they're not fighting." She says with a shrug.
Carlisle gives her a slight nod. He agrees to her, but only to an extent. After all the years he's put into raising his coven, he knows when his boys sneak off, they're either in trouble or causing trouble. He kisses Esme again before leaving her to investigate.
"So he pulls his ski mask on and goes into the sperm back where his girlfriend works as a secretary. He holds a gun to her head and demands to be taken to the room where all the sperm samples are stored." Edward says in an excited but hushed voice. As Carlisle gets closer to his room, the cleared Edward's voice gets. "He keeps the gun to her head and demands that she-"
"What's going on, boys?" Carlisle asks through the closed door. Edward cuts his story short.
"Nothing!" He calls back. Carlisle rolls his eyes, Edward should know by now that he can't fool his father that easily, and pushes the door open. Jasper stares at him with wide eyes and Edward bites his lips nervously.
"What did I tell you about those jokes?"
"You didn't want to hear them." Edward mumbles. "But we were being quiet! There's no way you could hear us in the living room. And the girls aren't here, either."
"Edward, I don't want you to hear you telling those jokes in this house at all. They're crude, disrespectful, and downright tacky." Carlisle says firmly. "I thought I made that clear to you yesterday."
"You did." Edward huffs and drops his eyes to the ground. Carlisle pointed to Jasper.
"Go in the living room. Edward, you stay here."
Jasper jumps to his feet from Edward's couch, and in a blink of an eye, he's gone. Carlisle steps into the room and shuts the door behind him. Edward see's exactly what his father is planning on doing, so he backs up until his back is against the wall.
"Carlisle, please! I have school today!" He begs.
"Do the rules change depending on your school schedule?"
"No, but I have to stay sitting for eight hours on the crummy chairs!"
"Well, next time you should take that into consideration before you break the rules."
Carlisle walks over to his son and grabs Edward's shoulder, pulling him away from the wall. Edward groans as Carlisle lands five hard smacks to the seat of his jeans. He scowls and rubs his rear once Carlisle releases his shoulder.
"You're getting mean in your old age." He grumbles, making Carlisle laugh.
"I'm getting mean? If anything, I'm loosening up. If this would have happened a hundred years ago, you know you'd be getting a proper whooping with a belt and your trousers dropped down."
"No one says trousers anymore." Edward murmurs. Carlisle rolls his eyes as he heads towards the door.
"I don't want to hear those jokes anymore, Edward Anthony!"