AN:: Hey, ya'll! Finally, the 10th chapter! (: thank you, everyone, for all the love & support so far! You're all amazing ❤

.:Raelyn | 27 *Present*:.

It felt like my whole world was crashin' down around me... Well, what little bit of it I had left, anyway.

My eyes burned with angry tears that completely blurred my vision and streamed down my cheeks like little waterfalls. No matter how hard I tried to blink them away, they just kept floodin' my lids... I hated this. Cryin'... I'd gone three months without sheddin' a single tear, save for the first night Daryl, Merle and I got separated back home. Since then, it'd been nothin' but fightin' and survivin'... Just pure determination to find those boys alive and well, which I had started to doubt was even possible.

But somehow, someway, I'd done it... And all my efforts had gone to hell. Merle was a sob story all his own, what happened to him couldn't really be helped. But Daryl was right here in front of my eyes... I could see him, touch him... Yet he was pushin' me away, like he'd never seen me before a day in his life. Like I was just like all these other people here, a random survivor that didn't know a damn thing about him.

It was such a horrible, helpless feelin' that I had honestly never felt before... It felt like he'd just abandoned me. Dropped me like a bad habit.

Usually, Daryl and I were attached at the hip, always together. Always hangin' out just shootin' the shit. We were kinda like magnets... One of us bein' the North pole, the other South... Attractin' each other and repellin' everyone else. Ha, I guess I actually did learn somethin' in school...

Now, everything was different. Just like he'd said, our world had ended. This was our world now... A world filled with hate, fear, and dead people roamin' the Earth... And I guess Daryl had decided he wanted to face it without me. Well, that was just fine.

I was so upset I hadn't realized I'd torn my way back through the trees, and camp was in my view a few feet away. I could see Carol, Lori and Jackie wanderin' about between the tents, gatherin' things that we'd probably need for our trip back into the city.

By the dark, grim look in Lori's green eyes, I could tell she was dreadin' havin' to say good-bye to her husband again, so soon. It really was crazy to think about, that we were actually just gonna dive right back into that neverendin' sea of geeks after we'd just made it out by the skin of our teeth... I gulped at the fresh memories of Rick, Glenn and I tearin' through the streets, covered in walker guts, just tryin' not to get eaten alive.

A shudder racked my spine. All I could do was hope and pray T-Dog was right, and Merle was still alive up there on that rooftop.

A shaky sigh escaped my lips as I ducked behind a thick tree trunk and leaned my back against it, takin' deep breaths and tryin' to calm myself. The last thing I wanted was for all those women to crowd around me and smother me, tryin' to comfort me or figure out what was wrong. It would just be too much.

So, I quickly wiped the tears from my cheeks with my palms, took a few more deep breaths, and straightened up as I casually waltzed toward the tents, as if nothin' was wrong.

"Oh, Raelyn!" Carol called out when her eye caught me, and she waved me over to her tent, a basket of clothes restin' on her hip. "Your clothes are dry now, I think they're near the bottom here..."

I gave her a fake smile as I approached her, cursin' her in my mind for drawin' attention to me. My eyes darted to the side, peerin' at Lori and Jackie watchin' me make my way across the grass, before turnin' back to their own business.

I reached out to grab my black tank top, my ripped up jeans, and my faded red flannel from Carol's hands as she dug them out from the basket. They were neatly folded up and smelled faintly of dish soap, but I could still see some of the grass and bloodstains. I didn't care, though; anything was better than how stiff and crusty they were before.

"Thanks, Carol." I said to the older woman in a quiet voice, not knowin' what else to say.

When I noticed a look of concern formin' in Carol's stormy gray eyes, I quickly avoided them and turned and walked back toward T-Dog and Jackie's tent so I could change, and get my stuff ready to head back into the city. My heart sank as I thought about it, knowin' I wouldn't be comin' back to this camp, not if Daryl didn't want me here. It scared the livin' hell outta me, thinkin' about bravin' the world all alone again... But this time with no hope of findin' the only people I considered my family... No objective, just to stay alive.

Was it even worth it, really?

As I unzipped the tent's door and ducked inside the muggy space, I wondered how on Earth I was gonna survive out there, and how everyone here was gonna react to my disappearance... Probably wouldn't care much, seein' as they barely knew anything about me besides my name and my friendship with Daryl... Well, my used-to-be friendship. Hell, some of 'em would probably be glad to get rid of me... Like that smug bastard, Shane.

The anger festerin' deep in the back of my mind fogged all of my thoughts, and I suddenly shifted gears. I couldn't wait to get the hell outta there.

I hardly even noticed the process of changing my clothes, I was movin' so fast. I ripped each garment on and off my body so fiercely, i was surprised I didn't ruin the worn, fragile fabric.

"Fuck him..." I grumbled to myself, snatchin' my backpack off the floor and roughly unzippin' it, "I don't need that asshole..."

And that's just what I kept tellin' myself as I packed my backpack, that I didn't need Daryl, not if he didn't need me. I'd be just fine on my own.

But as I shoved my pistol into my waist band, hoisted my backpack over my shoulder and made my way out to the campfire area where everyone was waitin', I had to choke down the lump formin' in my throat. It was all bullshit, what I was tellin' myself. I could say I didn't need that man all I wanted, but in my heart I knew I did... Every little fiber of my bein' needed him like oxygen.

But he didn't need me, that was the bottom line, and the most important one... So regardless of that overwhelmin' heartache that was devourin' me from the inside out... I was leavin'.

As far as I was concerned, I was already gone.

"Why, Rick?" Shane's aggravatin' voice suddenly rumbled through the brush, and I could hear two sets of footsteps comin' my way. Sure enough, the two of 'em crossed the path right in front of me, pausin' their steps and cuttin' mine short, "Why risk your life again for a douche bag like Merle Dixon?"

"Hey." I snapped before Rick could reply to his friend, makin' both of their necks whip around to look at me. I guess they hadn't noticed I was standin' there. "Watch it, choose yer words more carefully."

My eyes were razor sharp as I dug them right into Shane, not givin' a fuck as he scowled and sneered right back at me before replyin' in a smart-ass tone, "Nah, douche bag's what I meant. Thanks, though."

I shook my head and smirked at the dark haired man in annoyance, my eyes narrowin' and my voice slitherin' from my lips like a snake, "Well, ain't that the pot callin' the kettle black?"

"Rae." Rick suddenly scolded as he noticed an angry redness creepin' up his fellow former-police officer's neck. When I glanced at him, his eyes were just as firm as his voice.

I gnawed on the inside of my cheek as my eyes passed back to Shane, who looked like he wanted to bitch slap me right there in the middle of camp. Finally, I rolled my eyes and just side stepped them both, continuin' to walk the short distance to the campfire area where everyone was huddled around.

Shane was real lucky I actually had respect for Rick. Otherwise, I might not have been so nice as to hold my tounge.

The two officers continued to whisper to each other in tense, hushed voices from behind the bushes as I took a seat in a vacant lawn chair next to Dale, who smiled warmly at me... I did my best to smile back without lookin' too much like I was forcin' it.

Everyone was quiet, not even botherin' to make small talk. There was a grim cloud hangin' over us, and as I swept my eyes over each face, I saw the same thing: Fear.

I found myself silently scoffin' under my breath as I kicked at a loose pebble in the dry, stirred up earth under my worn out Chuck Taylor. What the hell did these people have to be scared of? They weren't the ones riskin' their damn lives in those city streets. The only exception I could think of was Lori, who was anxiously gnawin' at her thumb nail a few feet away. She clutched Carl to her body with her free hand, intently starin' at Rick as he made his way over, Shane clingin' close to his side... And as noticed Daryl trailin' up the path behind them, scowl on his face and crossbow hoisted over his shoulder, I knew I must have looked just like Lori; a nervous wreck.

I swallowed hard and did my best to ignore him as he brushed passed me and took a seat on one of the logs around the firepit, luggin' his backpack to the ground and hastily siftin' through it.

"So, that's it?" Rick's wife suddenly spoke up as she settled her eyes on her husband. Her voice was soft, but in the silence surroundin' the group, it seemed as loud and abrupt as a bomb goin' off. "You, Daryl and Raelyn? Thats your big plan?"

My eyes dropped down to Carl, who tried to wriggle away from his mother's hands, which were anxiously wringing his tiny shoulders.

"Well, actually..." Rick grumbled in response, and as I glanced up toward him, I could see his eyes drift over to Glenn, who immediately looked like he was about to throw up, or pass out... Which ever one came first.

"Oh, come on...!" He groaned in despair, seemin' to already know what was gonna come outta Rick's mouth next.

"It's not fair for me to ask, I know," The sheriff desperately began, "But you know the city inside and out, you said it yourself.. I'd just feel a lot better with you along, and I know she would, too." Rick nodded toward Lori, who instantly dropped her eyes to the ground.

Next to Rick, Shane was visibly fumin' with his lack of control over the situation.

"That's just great." He huffed, his thick brows furrowin' over his dark eyes, "So, you're gonna risk four people, huh? Four lives?"

"Five." A deep voice suddenly chimed in, and a quick glance over my shoulder showed me that it had been T-Dog, who stood next to Jackie a few feet behind me.

"Boy, this just keeps gettin' better an' better..." Daryl's gruff voice made my stomach twist into knots as it drifted up from behind me. It took almost everything I had not to turn around and stare at him...

"You best be happy you got this many people steppin' up to save your brother's crack'a ass." T-Dog growled back at Daryl in retaliation.

Without even lookin' at him I could feel the searin' glare of hatred those blue eyes were shootin' in T-Dog's direction, but before Daryl could say anything back, Shane suddenly exploded.

"I can't believe this." He blurted out, his eyes wild and his voice escalatin' as he kept ramblin' on, "You're puttin' everyone at risk, Rick, just know that. You saw that walker, it was HERE...! It was in camp! If those bastards come up here again and try to eat us, we need everyone up here givin' everything they got for protection...!"

Rick's steele blue eyes narrowed and his voice dropped as he turned his attention back to Shane, who stared back at him with an urgent, expectant gaze, "Well, we need more guns for that protection, right?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Glenn's grave, morbid expression instantly brighten as he gasped, "Oh, yea! The guns!"

" Guns...?" I mumbled as I glanced over at the young Asian man, a confused look contortin' my face.

"What are you talkin' about?" Shane added on as he crossed his arms over his muscular chest, "What guns?"

"Six shotguns, four high powered rifles, at least a dozen handguns..." Rick began rattlin' off names of weapons, starin' his fellow officer in the eyes as he visibly gulped. "I cleaned out the case back at the station before I left, but I dropped the bag when I got swarmed." Rick paused and glanced around the group of us, starin' wide-eyed before continuin', "It's just sittin' there in the street, waitin' to be picked up."

There was a pause around the group, with nothin' but the sound of the leaves rustlin' in the wind, until Shane piped up and whispered, "... Ammo..?"

Rick nodded and replied just as softly, "Over 400 rounds."

Shane instantly doubled back, running a hand through his thick, dark hair. His facial expression instantly changed... He knew that this group desperately needed those guns and that ammo.

"You went through hell to find us." Lori suddenly spoke up again, her voice quiverin', "You just got here, and now you're just gonna turn around and leave?" As I stared at her, I could see tears brimmin' in her green eyes as she shook her head in grim disapproval, "To hell with guns. Shane's right... Merle Dixon? He's not worth any of your lives, not even with guns thrown in!"

I completely understood where Lori was comin', I really did. Merle wasn't the easiest person to get to know or to even want to get to know, but all the same I felt offended... Who the hell was she to decide whose life was worth what in this bullshit world?

And when Rick strolled over to his wife, gently pushin' her away from the group as they continued to argue, I decided I couldn't take anymore of this. I just needed to be by myself for five minutes before we all piled back into that damn box truck with a one way ticket back into Hell... Round-trip.

So, keepin' my tired eyes glued to the ground, I stood up outta that rickety lawn chair and made my way to the left, crossin' the heart of the campsite and disappearin' around the driver's side of the box truck, hidden from everyone's view.

My backpack made a soft thud against the grass as I let the straps slip through my fingertips, and a soft sigh escaped my lips as I leaned my head of blonde hair back against the truck. It was way too peaceful out here in the hills of Georgia... The cheerful chirpin' birds and warm summer breeze just didn't seem to fit, knowin' what was really waitin' out there for anyone brave enough to wander... Well, brave or stupid enough, however ya chose to look at it.

The clouds slowly drifted by overhead, and as I stared up at them, I started to feel sick to my stomach, wonderin' what we were gonna find on that rooftop. Maybe Merle would be okay... Alive and bitchin' at us while we cut him loose.

But maybe we wouldn't be so lucky... My eyes fluttered closed as images of the worst case scenarios drifted through my mind, and I began to regret not stayin' by his side up there on that rooftop all over again... What the hell kinda friend was I?

It felt like an eternity that I was standin' there alone, tryin' to keep a stable state of mind and prepare myself for this journey, when suddenly I could hear footsteps comin' my way, along with the sound of keys jinglin'. Immediately my body tensed and my eyes snapped open, just in time to see that damn redneck trudgin' up the hill, makin' his way around the front of the truck.

When our eyes locked, he stopped in his tracks, just next to the driver's side door. There was so much I wanted to say to Daryl in that moment as I stared into his intense blue eyes... Questions and demands and even insults jumbled themselves together and raced through my mind at light speed, but somehow I managed to hold my tongue and simply step outta his way.

I turned my head and blankly stared off into the trees as Daryl jammed the keys into the lock in the driver's side door, quickly turnin' them and poppin' the door open so he could hoist himself up into the cab. My teeth found their way to my bottom lip and began anxiously gnawin' away... I couldn't believe he was just gonna ignore me like this.

"Raelyn, git in here. We need to move."

His sudden bark of an order caught me off guard. I guess he wasn't completely ignorin' me...

I let out a sigh as I scooped my backpack up off the grass, slung it over one shoulder and followed Daryl's path up into the box truck. The back door made a loud, metallic clatterin' sound as my childhood friend yanked it upwards, lettin' fresh air into the vehicle.

As I settled into a cozy corner with my backpack tucked safely between my knees, I gazed out into camp. I could see T-Dog and Rick standin' near the RV, discussin' somethin' with Dale and Jim... They exchanged handshakes and a few more words before Daryl huffed, stomped by me and hiked his leg over the bench seat, blarin' the horn with the bottom of his boot.

"C'mon, let's go!" He hollered out as Rick and T-Dog began makin' their way to the truck.

Daryl flopped down across from me as Rick hopped into driver's seat, Glenn into the passenger seat, and T-Dog settled down just a foot or so to my right, ignorin' the hateful glares he was gettin' from Daryl.

The engine rumbled as Rick turned it over, and before I knew it we were rollin' outta camp and headed back into Atlanta.

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For the first twenty minutes or so, no one said a word, and the tension in the cab was so damn thick you could cut it with a knife.

But, of course, Daryl was the one to break the uneasy silence.

"He better be okay..." He grumbled in that gruff, raspy voice that still gave me chills, no matter how badly I wished it didn't. His blue eyes were like icy daggers, pointed right at T-Dog, who let out a frustrated sigh.

"I told you, no geeks can break through that chain." He snapped, "Only thing gettin' through that door is us."

After that, it was quiet again until we reached the outskirts of the city, where Glenn directed Rick to a parkin' spot on the railroad tracks. He killed the engine and yanked the keys from the ignition as Glenn turned to the three of us in the back and mutterin', "We walk from here."

That was all he had to say before Daryl grabbed his things and hopped up, liftin' the back door to reveal the muggy Atlanta heat and the orange sunlight of late mornin'. T-Dog stood up next and politely offered me his hand to help me up. I flashed him a small, weak smile as I grasped his calloused palm, heavin' myself up to a standin' position.

"Thanks, T..." I mumbled as I shifted my backpack and adjusted my pistol in the waistband of my jeans.

He nodded his head to return my thanks before we strolled to the open back of the truck and dropped down onto the railroad tracks, joinin' Rick, Glenn and Daryl. It was so eery and quiet, literally like time had stopped... It was still strange bein' so close to a city and hearin' no traffic, no sirens, no shoutin' from its people... There was just nothin'.

Nothin' but nature and dead people.

Once everyone was ready, Glenn led the way into the city, usin' the railroad tracks as a pathway. No one breathed a word as we went, briskly walkin' for a good three or four minutes before comin' to a fence that had obviously been clipped to allow entry. I wondered if Glenn had been the one to clip it, but didn't feel it was exactly a good time for pointless questions. Instead, I just followed the guys through the gap, Glenn holdin' the chain link apart for me as I ducked under.

We were officially within the city now, standin' underneath the massive bridges that made up the highway leadin' in and out. Luckily there were no walkers lurkin' around, but I kept my eyes and ears sharply peeled, just in case.

"Okay, so Merle first?" I asked as I glanced around the group when we paused our steps for a brief second, "Or guns?"

"Merle!" Daryl quickly snapped, scowlin' in my direction as if my question had been one of the stupidest he'd ever heard, "We ain't even havin' this conversation!"

"We are," Rick firmly corrected him through clenched teeth before turnin' his attention to Glenn and calmin' his tone, "You know the geography... Your call."

Glenn took a moment to think before decidin', "Merle's closest... The guns would be on the way back. Merle first."

A part of me was relieved to hear him say that. I was glad we would be able to go straight to Merle, mostly because I was worried sick about him and a little because I just didn't want to hear Daryl bitch and complain.

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The department store was surprisingly easy to get back into, most of the geeks had long since wandered off after bustin' through those doors.

Some of 'em were still hangin' around, though. Like this one we were all starin' at, creepin' around the jewelry section of the boutique on the ground floor. The five of us stayed hidden behind a display of shoes, tryin' to decide what we were gonna do.

After a few seconds of starin' at the hideous beast stalkin' around the store, groanin' and gurglin', Rick finally turned to look at Daryl over his shoulder, givin' him a single nod.

My blue eyed childhood friend then raised his crossbow, and slowly separated from our small group, hidin' himself behind the mannequins as the walker suddenly glanced over in his direction. We all held our breath, but it didn't take long for the beast to loose interest and turn it's eyes forward again.

Daryl then crept a bit closer, took aim, and fired an arrow straight through the geeks brittle skull. The sound the body made slumpin' to the floor was almost as loud as an earthquake shakin' the buildin', and even though I watched it happen, it still made me flinch.

After Daryl yanked his arrow from the lifeless corpse and nudged the body outta the way, we had a clear path to the stairwell that led up to the roof. It felt like time was passin' in slow motion as we clambered up the narrow space, Daryl frantically leadin' the way. When we reached the top, the door was still chained shut.

My heart sank as I caught a glimpse of countless pairs of bloody handprints stamped and smeared down the metal surface of the door, and had to force myself to turn away just as T-Dog shoved his way to the front with a pair of bolt cutters.

It only took maybe three and a half seconds for him to break through that chain, and I swear Daryl Dixon almost busted that steel door straight off its hinges.

"Merle?!" I could hear him shoutin' as he darted out onto the roof, all of us racin' after him, "Merle!"

I was the last one out onto the rooftop, and when I saw Daryl rapidly pacin' back and forth, I knew we hadn't gotten the turn out we'd wanted...

"NO!" Daryl wailed out, his voice angrily crackin', "NO, NO!"

I quickly pushed passed Rick, T-Dog and Glenn, staggerin' out onto the open rooftop, ready to take in the sight of Merle's dead body, cooked by the sun or ripped to shreds by zombies...

But what I actually saw completely shocked me. My ragged breath caught in my throat and my hand shot up to cover my mouth to keep the strained scream from escapin'.

Tears brimmed my eyes as I stared at that same pair of handcuffs danglin' from that lead pipe, sittin' next to 'em a bloody handsaw, and the only thing left of Merle... A mangled stump of a hand.

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To be continued...