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Chapter 5

July

I had retreated into myself, I realized, as I lay on the patio of the balcony in my room. Since the doctor incident I hadn't really spoken to anyone, preferring to write in my journal, at least I know that I won't betray myself. Peter understood and didn't try to force his company on me. He knew when I needed to be alone, but he was also there for me, sitting there in the computer lab; his silent reassurance that someone believed in me that I could save my dad.

I had gone through the papers I took from Stark Industries and confirmed what Peter had told me, the sales on the invoice books and the products produced didn't add up. Which means that someone was indeed selling under the table. I was going to have to be extra careful, seeing how production was starting back up in three days. The stocks had gone up; it turns out the public was impressed with my decision, but I was more concerned about who had the power to do something as sneaky as this to get past my dad.

I took another drink out of the bottle of tequila. My mood was steadily getting worse the longer it took for me to find my dad, maybe mixing pain medications and alcohol wasn't the best idea. I hadn't been seeing Clint or Creepy Doctor but I kept doing my exercises, which meant I was in pain. But I was going to get the use of my legs back, I just needed to find another doctor and physical trainer. I groaned as I thought of yet another thing added to my to-do-list.

I was tired of trying to get everything in order and in control: watching for my father, running the company, finding a doctor, finding a way to enter the Strategic Homeland Intervention, something or another. I took another drink from my bottle.

I should have never gone with him. I thought bitterly, I should have trusted my instincts and everybody's words of worry and not gone. That choice was mine, and no one else's and it looked like one I was going to have to live with.

I sighed, tired from everything, taking another drink, a rather large one I might add. I set the bottle down and closed my eyes, it's just going to be quick nap, I still had a ton of stuff that needed to be done.

I might have passed out, if I was to be honest, I was pretty drunk and had been since the 'incident' as I had dubbed it. But I just couldn't find myself caring.

I wonder what it would have been like if I hadn't gone, would I have just come back from a run? Would I not be here pouting? Because yes I knew that was all I was doing, tonight I was feeling sorry for myself, and pouting, but sometimes you just need a pity party. And tonight was my night.

I opened my eyes and stared up at the stars. Could my father see the stars from where he was at? I doubt it, but it's a nice thought. That somewhere he is seeing the same stars I am. Does he know that I'm searching for him? That would be a better question to ask. But I can't ask it out loud to anyone, partly because I honestly don't know the answer to it, and partly because I'm afraid of the answer I'll get.

I tried to quiet down the thoughts that kept running through my head, ramblings is more like it, that but that's how I get when I'm drunk. Just ramblings and nonstop thoughts. Hardly the get away I wanted but I took what I could get.

An idea popped into my head in the middle of the ramblings, a what-if situation.

What if I didn't hack into the Strategic Homeland place, thingy, what if I worked there? And conveniently moved up the ranks…. Really fast.

I sat up, and closed my eyes, trying to make the outside stop spinning; once it had I dragged myself up to the chair and rolled myself to the computer lab. Once I got there I started making a fake agent for the Strategic what's-its-name.

I woke up with a piece of paper stuck to my face, confused to why that was and the massive headache that was currently going on. And then I remembered, I was having a pity party last night and this morning I was reaping the benefits.

I looked at the computer my fake "agent" information had been put in; Agent Ford was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and had a library fine. I smiled to myself I had created a whole other person and hired him into the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division.

I figured I would give him a few hours in the bottom ranks before I promoted him, once I had I would have all of the files and access codes I needed, I could get into the satellites and find my dad. I rolled back to my room to shower and brush my teeth; I needed to get the stench of tequila off of me.

I stood and stepped into the shower, smiling to myself as I felt the hot water run down my back, I could stand. And walk a little with a cane (when I wasn't hammered) it was a great start but I knew I couldn't do anymore without a physical trainer.

I finished showering, brushed my teeth and walked into my room, I went to my mat where I usually did my morning yoga and started to stretch. Once I felt like I had done enough I dressed into my "business" appropriate clothes and gathered the papers I had for Stark Industries. I was going to get everything ready for the production restart-up, figured I would do something productive while "Agent Ford" worked his way up the ladder at the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division.

I had Happy drive me to Stark Industries and surprised him when I used my cane to walk into the building. That made me smile, finally showing up the people who thought me an invalid. I was Scarlett Stark and I was here to make an impression.

I made it to my father's office and sat down. Two, three hours passed as I typed away information and a factory wide email, telling everyone how happy I was to get back to work, and how much I thanked them for honoring the brave men and women, basically just inflating their egos.

I was finally finished and set my head down on the desk.

"Long time no see," I heard a voice say.

My head shot up and I saw Clint standing there. "Go away," I snapped not in the mood to deal with him.

"Care to explain why you cancelled our appointments?" he asked ignoring my demand.

I gave him my best glare. "Care to explain why your employer injected me, yet again, without my permission?" I counter.

"You were having a panic attack," Clint said, giving an almost rehearsed answer.

"I was not," I said. "And after looking at the video from my security feed which proves that I wasn't, someone hacked into our feed and it mysteriously disappeared."

Clint was quiet as I stood up and grabbed my pack, slinging it across my shoulder. I could feel his eyes on me as I gathered my stuff.

"Of course," I said grabbing my cane and making my way across the room, slowly but I could tell he was a little shocked at how far I had come without his help. "That was after I made a copy and stored it in our family safe."

Silence was his reply.

"I don't know who you are," I said, venom in my voice as I glared into his eyes. "And I have no idea what your plans are, but contact me again and I will show you what it means to be an enemy of a Stark, now leave."

Clint turned and left not saying another word or making any kind of movement to try and convince me that he was a good guy.

I made my way to the front of our building when Obi stopped me.

"Scar," he called.

I groaned and stopped, turning around to face him.

"Obi," I said putting a fake smile on my face.

"I got your email," he said catching up with me as we continued to walk.

"Wanted to make sure everyone knew how we were going to start back up," I said keeping my answers on the informative side

We reached the doors and I saw Happy standing next to the car.

"Well if that's all," I say turning to face Happy.

Obi opened his mouth like he was beginning to say something but then closed it sparing another glance at Happy. "Get better Scar," he said before turning and heading back inside.

I watched him go back inside the building before I turned back to face Happy and head towards the car.

I finally made it to the car and Happy gave me a huge smile.

"What?" I asked smiling back at him

"You're walking," he said smiling. "I'm proud of you, Scar."

I smiled and gave him a hug, not caring who saw. "Thank you," I said into his jacket.

We broke the hug and he opened the door for me, he got in his seat and we drove off.

"Pepper called," Happy said. "She wants to have lunch with you," he glanced to look at me from the rear view mirror.

I rested my head against the cool window. I really didn't want to, but I knew I had been off the grid for a while and she probably wanted to talk about it.

I just wanted to go home and continue to work on getting my dad back. I pulled out my phone and saw that I had two missed calls, one from Clint and one from Creepy Doctor. I checked the files and things that my "Agent Ford" could access and saw that I needed to promote him so I could get access to the satellites. I decided to just let J.A.R.V.I.S. handle the promotions and the downloading to my server file.

"Scar?" Happy called; I looked up at him as I finished sending J.A.R.V.I.S. the information. "Do you want to go?"

I sighed and nodded my consent before staring out the window again. I started to think about everything that needed to get done, and what Peter could do while I did some of the more illegal stuff.

"Scar?" Happy called again I tore my eyes from the window to see that we were at the restaurant.

"Yeah," I replied softly.

"We're here but I can still take you home," he said, his eyes were sad but I didn't know why.

I gave him a half-smile, "Pepper needs to talk, so this has to be done."

"The only thing that needs to be done if for you to get some sleep," Happy retorted.

I laughed once, "You're probably right," I admitted.

Happy nodded, knowing that this battle was done even though he didn't agree with the outcome. He helped me out of the car; once I was steadied he gave me another quick hug. "I'll be right out here," he said.

I nodded my thanks and headed inside to the restaurant where Pepper was waiting.

She smiled at me as I sat down. We ordered and as soon as the waitress left Pepper turned to me. "We need to talk," she said.

I nodded my head and she pulled out a small book from her purse. Wait, I know that book, it's my diary. My diary that was locked in my safe behind my painting.

"Pepper," I said, "what are you doing?"

Pepper took a deep breath, "I sent Peter home," she said looking me straight in the eye.

"What?" I asked feeling the breath getting sucked from my lungs. "Why?"

"He wasn't helping you get better," Pepper said. "He was allowing you to drink all day and encouraging you to not go to the doctors."

"That wasn't your call to make," I whispered trying to keep the tears and the urge to drink at bay. "And he was the only one who believed me about the doctor." He was helping me, I thought, I need my big brother here.

"There is another reason, I wanted to talk to you today," Pepper said clearly not getting how upset I was.

"Oh," I snapped, my fuse officially blown but stopped as the waitress brought us our food. "Because you sending away my brother when I needed him here wasn't a big enough topic?" I finished as soon as she was gone.

"I've never failed at something," Pepper said opening my dairy. "'But here I am, failing to find my father. What if I never do? This feeling is consuming me, I'm drowning. And I don't how to survive.'"

"I wrote those words," I said feeling embarrassment settle over me those were my personal thoughts and feelings. "You don't need to read them to me."

"Scarlett this isn't healthy," Pepper said. "You need to talk to someone," she said closing my diary.

"I talked to Peter," I snapped.

"I mean a professional," Pepper countered. "Scarlett, you've shut yourself out from people, you don't eat, you don't sleep. Your need to heal and all you are doing is drinking tequila."

"So you think something is wrong with me?" I asked, all of the fight gone from my voice. "That I need to be fixed?" I was gone, I thought that I was doing okay, that I could come back from this, but if Pepper thought I was broken, if Pepper thought I needed to be fixed? What was I going to do? How was I going to get through this if Pepper didn't think I could?

"No, Scar," Pepper began.

"Miss Potts," I said standing up and taking my diary off of the table. "You have broken my trust by invading my personal belongings," I ignored the hurt look that Pepper was giving me. "Don't let it happen again." I picked up my cane and walked out of the restaurant, my food untouched and my head held high as I ignored the whispers and made my way back out to the car.

"Scar?" Happy said, the question in his voice, he noticed I was close to tears.

"Take me home," I whispered.

Happy didn't hesitate as he opened the passenger door and not the back door. I slipped in and Happy pulled away. I stared out the window as Happy drove.

Does Happy think I'm broken too? I wondered.

I looked up as we pulled into a drive thru. Was Happy hungry? Probably, we weren't in the restaurant long enough for Happy to get something to eat.

We got to the window and Happy handed me a large Dr. Pepper with no ice and a medium order of onion rings.

"Eat," he said, "you're too skinny."

I smiled and started to pick at my onion rings.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Happy asked as we pulled away.

"Do you think I'm broken?" I asked, holding my breath waiting for the answer, afraid to what I was going to do if he thought I was as well.

"Broken?" he asked

"Do you think I need to be fixed?" I clarified. "Pepper does, she says that I need to get better."

"Because of everything that's happened?" Happy asked me. "No, of course not, Scar."

"Really?" I asked turning to look at him while I take of sip of my Dr. Pepper.

"You're not broken, you never have been. You, Scarlett Stark are one of the strongest people I have ever met. You are grieving. And while I don't agree with how you've been handling yourself," he said shooting a glance at me before looking back at the road. "I trust that you know what you're doing, and how you are taking care of yourself."

I smiled at him and finished off the last of my onion rings.

"We're here," Happy said.

I smile as I see my home, then I feel the tears well up; my big empty home.

"I'm going to hang around here for a while," Happy said, looking at me. "If that's okay with you."

I nodded my head as we approached the door. "Thank you" I said.

"Scar," he said. "Get some sleep."

After a three-hour nap, I woke up feeling fantastic, which was weird and new as of late but I decided to go with it. I made my way down the steps and stopped at the entrance to the kitchen. Rhodey, Happy, and Cory were all hanging around the kitchen island.

"Hey Scar," Uncle Rhodey said walking up to me giving me a hug. "I was just about to come wake you up," I gave him a small dazed smile, confused as to why they were all there.

"Do you want the usual on your burger?" Happy asked. I nodded and took a seat next to Uncle Rhodey. I nodded and Happy finished fixing my burger and slid it to me.

We ate in silence for a while, well the guys ate, I kinda just picked at mine.

"Are you guys going to say it, or am I going to have to," I said after I felt like they had had enough time to bring up the conversation.

"You never were one for small talk," Uncle Rhodey commented.

"This is about Pepper and her wanting me to talk to someone," I said.

"Scar," Cory said as he put his hand on top of mine. "Listen, Pepper did what she thought was the right thing for you."

I sighed, "She just wants me to be back to normal and be perfect little Scarlett again."

Rhodey and Happy exchanged a look and Rhodey tried this time.

"Scar," he said. "Take a walk with me."

I glanced at him and the two other members of my small family before I nodded.

He helped me off of my bar stool and then we walked out towards the outdoor patio.

"Talk to me," Rhodey said. "Scar, you have been off ever since we were going to have you declare your dad dead."

"You won't believe me," I said. "And it doesn't matter, I took care of it."

"Fine then, let's talk about what you're really upset about with Pepper," he said.

I sighed and looked out at the beach. "She brought out my journal," I finally began, knowing I wasn't getting out of this conversation. "The journal I keep all of my personal thoughts in. And she started to read it out loud."

Rhodey had hung his arms over the balcony, when he heard what I had said he hung his head. "So that wasn't the right way to handle this," he agreed.

"Handle this?" I asked I turned to face him. "There isn't a way to handle this, my father has been kidnapped by terrorists, and they have made no demands or even a hint that he is alive. I am searching the earth for him while I recover the use of my legs. And to top it all off, after an internal search of Stark Industries I found out that someone has been selling under the table!"

"Wait what?" Uncle Rhodey said. "You did an internal investigation?"

"And the only person who knew all of this, the only person who understands how I work, Pepper thought it would be the best if she sent him home, she sent him away from me!" I yelled to no one in particular.

And then I felt it, I had been on my feet all day and it was taking its toll on me. "Ah," I cried out as my knees buckled.

"Scar," Uncle Rhodey said as he caught me.

"I'm fine," I say gritting my teeth. "I've just been on my feet all day."

Taking the hint, Rhodey carried me back into the living room. Happy after taking care of my father for so long had picked up the art of subtly and context clues, which I have never been more thankful for than now when he brought me my chair back.

"I hate this thing," I mumble as I get situated back into it.

Rhodey gives me a tight smile and pats my shoulder. Cory just gives me a nod of his head, while Happy pointed back over to my barely eaten food. "It's cold now," he said. I rolled my eyes as I rolled over there. "I'm not hungry," I said; "Besides I already ate."

"You had an order of onion rings and a Dr. Pepper," Happy countered, "When your dad gets home he is going to be pissed if you're underfed." I smile at Happy's insistence that he was coming back. "Like he's going to be a picture of perfect health," I retort.

Cory chuckled. "There she is," he joked.

After convincing Happy to re-heat my burger, I managed to eat half of it (after a long debate that I could only spend three hours in my lab if I did). I took advantage of it; I made my way to my lab. Yes, I know it was rude of me to leave them alone but they probably wanted to get a status update of my mental health from Rhodey and honestly I didn't care. They were more than capable of making themselves at home.

The first thing I did was run through the footage of the satellite feed from today and after getting nothing, I went to "Agent" Ford and saw how he was doing. I proceeded to create an entire history for him, a few case reports, (with very few details, seeing as I had no idea what they actually were) some notes and what-not to keep from just a random guy popping up in their system. Until I promoted him to whatever they called a level 9. With full access to their satellites, I pointed them to where all of the others were. And then I decided to start digging.

My first stop was personnel files; I skipped most of the lower level ones and started really taking an interest when I saw the name Clint Barton. "Shut up," I whispered as I clicked on his file. "Ho-ly shit," I said out loud as I realized that this was not only my Clint but that he was a full fledged spy.

I thanked my photographic memory as I flew through different files, until I found a file that stopped me in my tracks.

It was labeled Starks.

After clicking on it I saw that it had three tabs.

Howard, Anthony "Tony", and Clara "Scarlett"

I clicked on my grandfather's tab and started reading about him, turns out that he was one of the founders of them. He even worked with Captain America. My grandpa isn't one of my dad's favorite people so I never got to hear stories about him growing up. But, from what I've heard and read, he was a hero. Well, as much as a hero as a Stark could be. We don't really do the fighting but I idolized him and wish I knew more about him. It's why I wanted to be a pilot so bad, it was said that my grandfather was the best civilian pilot, and I kinda want to live up to him.

I skipped my dad's tab, there isn't a whole lot about him I don't know and decided I would read it later, I was more curious to see what they were reporting about me, seeing as Clint and, I am assuming, Creepy Doctor as well.

I took a deep breath and cursed whoever had the forethought to remove all of the booze from my computer lab.

Looking through the beginning there wasn't anything groundbreaking. They had every trip I ever took, including the ones to New York I was positive that my dad didn't even know about. The feeling of paranoia took over as I realized these people had been watching me since I was a child. I continued to scroll down as I saw reports of what was currently going on with me. A list of injuries I had sustained and what treatment Creepy Doctor had decided was the best course of action. Everything seemed normal-ish at least by my standards until I got to my back. Listed, as the treatment was some complicated chemical name that I not going to even try to pronounce along with notes attached. I clicked on it and read them.

Works as well as can be expected, subject refuses to sleep which won't allow the chemical to heal her.

So that's why he kept injecting me with drugs to make me sleep.

Her suspicions have grown and have further ceased treatment from both me and Agent Barton. Results can't be confirmed at this time.

Well damn right I stopped treatment they were using some form of new drug on me! I was livid but nothing could compare to the fury I felt as I read the last note on my file.

Shut down Stark Industries. Trying to hide dealings under the table? After incident doubled surveillance on her while tripled efforts to break into her server and Stark's home security. No results so far. Recruitment status as of now – not interested.

How.

Dare.

They.

I wanted to scream, I wanted to throw things and trash the room. So they thought that someone was dealing under the table like I was, the only difference was they thought it was me that was doing it.

"Jarvis!" I yelled.

"Yes, Miss Stark" he replied promptly.

"I want a constant security monitoring all of our systems," I said the anger clear in my voice.

"Of course," he replied. "Might I inquire as to why?"

"Someone is trying to break in," I told him. "Don't let it happen."

"It would be my pleasure. Is there anything in particular you would like me to do to stop them?"

I smirked at the thought of this. "Work your magic," I replied as I rolled out of my lab and into the front room.

AN: so this is the chapter i've been stressing govern since I started writing this story, I was always going back and forth between how far to too far with the self-destruction and such but for those of you who thought it was too much i will tell you this is the worst of it. The next chapters have much more in them beside the inner monologues of a teenage drunk. so stick with me one more chapter it'll be with it I promise.

And also wow, you guys, 14 i repeat 14 reviews to my last chapter and I couldn't be any happier! (let's see if we can keep this up ;) )

Guest: Thanks for the review!

ShigureAyameHatoriFanClub: that's fine! I love to here rambelings of what my readers think! I can honestly say he's name is one of the hardest i had time spelling ( a huge shout out to my roommate/ beta for suffering through my terrible spelling). And as we learned this chapter Clint is the famous Clint Barton who also happens to be my favorite as well (if you havent read the Matt Fraction comic run he did with Hawkeye its amazing!) And as for creepy doctor... well he's SHIELD

guest: Well, they are both SHIELD and as for Pepper, i think she is really stuggling because she's raised Scar since she was one but there is the whole worry about crossing the line with her employers daughter. So I tried to play it as her just wanting to do the best for the girl she thinks of as her daughter.

NicoleR85: Yep, Clint is indeed Hawkeye, he is my favorite avenger and he will have a larger role in this series than in the MCU, and thanks for the love!

TatteredAngel42: nope, no making up an extra character, and no, he's not bruce but i like the idea! Bruce will be showing up later though ;)

19irene96: ya, I loved Andrew Garfield's portraley of Peter (say what you will about the acutal movies, but he did great!) and in the comics i like the relationship that peter and tony have so i decided to add him to this one!

jessica18971: thanks! i hope this chapter didnt dissapoint

SoccerArtist7: Thanks! and I will as long as i'm able too and yep ;) he's our bow slinging smart mouth

superepicstarkette1211: wow, i cant say how much i needed those words ( i might have done the fangirl squeal with a quick spin) thanks!

: writing the relationship with creepy doctor was something i definitely tried to balance between full creepy and slightly helpful. and after this chapter we have one till he's back (it'll be after the august chaper)

guest: thanks! i'm so happy you're enjoying it! and yep, i definitely wouldnt want him as my doctor... although he does work for SHIELD...

mun3litKnight: i'm glad that you like this story, and i wanted it to be an of course they would keep an eye on one of the founder's family so i'm glad it doesnt seem out of no where

Lady Syndra: I'm glad you're looking forward to the chapters, I hope this didnt dissapoint

The Lead Mare: i'm glad that you think so highly of her, I was trying to find a balance of scorned teen versus the fact that she knows how truly "lucky" she was growing up with the last name Stark