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Chapter eight

I don't know how long I sat there, the water lapping at my feet, but I do know that the sun had set and it was twilight out.

I faintly heard footsteps on the sand and I glanced over as I saw Happy sit down next to me.

"You know for two seconds I thought you were my dad," I said as I glanced over at him.

Happy didn't say anything, he just put an arm around me.

"What do I do, Happy?" I asked. "My dad's home, which puts him back in charge of the company, I don't need to look for him anymore."

"Maybe this is time to focus on you," Happy offered as I leaned against him. "We both know that you haven't been taking care of yourself like you are supposed to. Get healthy again, start doing yoga again, maybe the passion to paint will come back."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "I have no idea where to begin, I don't even know if that girl exists anymore."

"So let's find out," Happy said.

I thought about that, finding out if the girl I was, was still in here somewhere, lost and screaming for help. But did I really want to be that person again?

That lost little girl that wanted her father more than he wanted her. Someone who was helpless by herself and needed someone there to protect her.

"He's not-," I stopped and licked my lips as I thought about how I was going to word this, yes this was Happy and we were family. But he was first and foremost on my dad's payroll. Like Pepper was, and Corey, and how Uncle Rhodey was his co-worker.

"Listen, Scar," he said. "You're my niece, what you say stays between us."

I nodded my head. "He's not going to try and repair our relationship is he?"

"Your father is a complicated man," Happy began. "I don't know what happened to him or how it changed him but I do know that his first words to Colonel Rhodes were if you were ok. He has done nothing but ask about you since he got back."

I was hesitant to believe him. I guess seventeen years of evidence was hard to disprove but I wanted it to be true, yearned for it even.

And then I berated myself, I was back to that lost little girl the moment I had the chance.

I shook my head and the stood up. Happy followed and the two of us walked towards the house.

When we got there, I started walking towards my lab, maybe taking a walk through some of Shield's files would be a good start to figure out what to do with my life.

"Where do you think you are going?" Happy asked.

"My lab," I said

"No." Happy said as he grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the kitchen. "You need to eat."

"I'm fine," I said.

"Scar, it's been a least 40 hours since you have eaten, at least 50 hours since you have slept." Happy reprimanded me. "You're going to eat, sleep, wake up and start over."

The thought of sleeping and eating suddenly made me tired so I nodded my head and slowly made my way over to the island. I rested my head on the table while Happy made me some Spaghetti O's.

He placed the bowl in front of me and I ate it in silence. Happy sitting next to me and just being there with me.

Once I had finished, Happy picked me up and carried me to bed, it was probably a good thing because that food in my stomach was something I needed and now that I was full, I needed sleep.

I curled up in the middle of the bed and I vaguely remember Happy tucking me in.

"Jarvis," Happy called out.

"Yes sir," Jarvis replied.

"Make sure nothing wakes her up," Happy gave the order. He took it upon himself to make sure she got the rest she needed.

"Already on it," Jarvis replied.

I was hiding behind a rock, explosions and gunshots were all around me. I needed to get somewhere; this wasn't a safe place for me to be. Something exploded and I was shot forward. My back was on fire and it hurt. I crawled and saw someone coming towards me. This man was tall and he was running towards me. I tried to get up and walk but he grabbed my hair and held me close.

"Watch," he hissed in my ear. I could feel drips of his spittle on my cheek.

I was as helpless as the battlefield was littered with bullets. I watched countless men and women fall to their deaths. And then I saw Rhodey running towards my dad.

I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out, I started struggling to get out of this mystery man's grasp. I needed to warn him, to help him. To do something more than stand there. My father soon joined Rhodey and the two of them headed back into the fray. I was yelling despite nothing coming out of my mouth, I was struggling and fighting the man; the blood still dripping from my back.

But I was too late, I wasn't fast or strong enough, and I watched helplessly as the two men I loved died

I screamed and woke up, gasping for breath. I clutched my heart and looked around the room. "Jar-Jarvis," my voice wavered as I called out to him.

"Scarlett," his British voice came through my room.

I nodded my head and untangled myself from the mess of my blankets and headed towards my door.

I opened it and yelped again at seeing my dad standing outside the door.

"Dad?" I asked in a croak, my voice scratchy from sleeping and screaming.

"There was screaming," he said his hands were sitting by his sides his fingers were twitching.

"Bad dream," I mumbled.

I gave him a weak smile, trying to shake the nightmare away from my thoughts. "I'm going to take a shower," I said weakly, I didn't wait for his reply I just turned back around and retreated into my room.

"Scar," my dad called out, I turned to face him.

He walked over and gave me a hug. Now I can count on one hand the amount of times my dad has offered me a hug in the past five years so to say this was a shock was an understatement. But after the nightmare I just had, any physical confirmation that he was up and kicking would work for me. So after I stood there in shock for a moment or two, I quickly returned the hug. I inhaled his scent; the motor oil and grease from the lab clung to him. To me it was the scent that meant my dad was near, to me that scent was home.

He broke the hug soon after that but he kept me within his arms reach with both of his hands on my arms. "You can talk to me if you want?" he offered. "About your nightmares."

I felt my mouth open and I almost immediately started to talk to him, to tell him about the big scary man who prevented me from saving Rhodey, from saving him. But I stopped, could I add to his pile? Add to his nightmares? I closed my mouth and looked up at him. "Dad," I said. "I don't know if I can explain it."

He looked at me, really looked at me and then nodded. "Take a shower, come down to the lab and try."

I bit my lip, it's been my self appointed job for my entire life to make sure that he never realized how exactly the way I've been raised effects me. How much I yearned for, even the effort of trying for so long. The thought of finally talking to him and having an actual conversation? It seemed too good to be true.

I nodded and headed towards my bathroom, I turned the water on and started getting undressed. I stopped and looked at my back, I wouldn't consider myself vain but seeing the scars that were scattered across the skin there, I would have to be pickier on dress choices, and I don't think I would put on a bikini anymore. I was grateful for Creepy Doctor and Shield for the first time in ever. Without their 'super secret formula' they had injected me with it would be even worse.

I hopped into the shower and let the hot water trickle over me. I could see the steam coming from the water, but I enjoyed it.

I stepped out and got dressed as I stared at myself in the mirror "Jarvis?" I called.

"Yes Scarlett?" he called.

"How long did I sleep for?" I asked. I had noticed how rejuvenated I felt, which means that I slept for a long time, a really long time.

"You slept a little over eighteen hours," Jarvis replied.

I nodded my head as I processed this information. "Jarvis can I ask you a question?" I asked the computer. Maybe the computer can give me the right answer.

"Of course you can," he replied.

"Should I do this?" I asked. "Should I really go down and talk to him?"

"I think that talking would be beneficial for both of you," he replied.

"Well, can't argue with a computer," I said as I let my damp hair down and padded down the steps to his lab. I felt relieved at the thought of sitting down with my dad, and if the computer thought it was a good idea, maybe it would be.

"Actually," Jarvis said as I approached the lab door. "I retract my statement."

My hand froze on the handle. "You're a computer Jarvis, why would you need to retract a statement?"

He was quiet as I searched the lab through the glass doors.

"I see," I say as I entered the lab and sat in his chair.

"For the record," Jarvis said. "When I encouraged you to come down here, he was in the lab."

"Noted," I said as I spun around slowly looking at the lab.

The empty lab.

I nodded my head and turned back around, to head back up the steps. I managed to go to my room, I sat in front of my easel and I picked up a paintbrush. I wasn't inspired to paint but I felt this desire to put stuff on paper. For the first time in three months I didn't want to write it out or drown it in a bottle. So I thought maybe painting it would help.

Hours passed and I finally finished painting so I climbed back into bed. I had more things I needed to do on the arc reactor, I was still tired. My back hurt and I was crabby. Sleep was something I needed and needed now.

"Jarvis," I called out. "Will you wake me up at eight tomorrow?"

"Of course Miss Stark," he replied and with his super awesome tech powers he shut off the lights

I walked down the steps to my father's lab, I wanted to run a few more tests before he stuck it into his chest. I saw him standing there with some sort of flight simulator on. Dum-E had a fire extinguisher. I raised an eyebrow and walked right over to his table. I scanned over his data while he talked about what he was doing for his log. "We're going to take it easy and start at ten percent," my dad said.

My head snapped up. "That's way too much," I countered. "You're going to flip over."

My dad just gave me a look. "Ten percent in three, two, one; go," he said.

If I would have blinked I would have missed my dad fly up and flip over and hit the wall. He fell down with a groan. I turned towards Dum-E and nodded. Dum-E turned towards my dad and sprayed him with the entire extinguisher. I smiled and rolled the chair over to the table where I had all of my work on. Only to find it all gone. "Dad?" I called out. "What did you do with the arc reactor?" I asked. My dad groaned and managed to sit up. I turned around and faced him. He wiped the foam off of his face and tapped his chest and I realized what he had done.

"Please tell me you are joking," I begged. "It wasn't done! I had more tests to run. I don't even know if it's safe to put into your body."

My dad stood up and walked over to me. If I wasn't so worried it would have been funny to see him waddle over to me covered in foam. "Scar," he tried.

"No!" I yelled back "I think that I'm fully entitled to be upset, I just got you back why are you so determined to do stupid things, to kill yourself!"

My dad sat in one of the other chairs. "I looked it over before Pepper put it in, your work was good, and it was ground breaking. I'm proud of you."

"It's not about pride," I said. "I don't know if it was safe for you to shove it into your body, if anything happens because of it, it'll be my fault."

My dad opened his mouth to reply but Jarvis had a different idea.

"Scarlett," he called over the speaker. "Your physical trainer is here"

I just nodded my head. "Ok J, tell him I'm on my way up," I replied. I stood and slowly made my way back up the steps; my hand gripping the railing as I made my way back up.

I managed to get up the steps and go to the front door.

Clint was leaning against the doorway, his hair messed up and he seemed out of breath. "Sorry," he panted.

"Are you ok?" I asked. Something was wrong and he was messed up.

"Mission," Clint said.

"Ah," I replied. "My dad is in the lab downstairs."

Clint stood up and took a deep breath, I stood on my tiptoes and fixed his hair.

"Ready?" I asked.

Clint nodded and the two of us made our way into the living room where we had had all of the previous meetings.

"So," Clint said as he dragged out the fold away table we ended up keeping at my house. "How's your back?"

I bit my lip and looked at him.

Clint smiled. "I told you so," he teased me.

"Yeah, yeah," I said waving my hand at him. "You told me."

"Well take your shirt off and let me see." Clint said.

I smirked at him and took my shirt off. "Do you say that to all of the other girls?" I asked as I hopped on the table in my sports bra; I turned my back towards him.

"Yes, strange man who has my daughter shirtless, do you say that to all of the other girls?" I heard my dad's voice say.

I felt my face flush. "Dad," I said jumping up and turning to face him. He had managed to clean himself off and was in a new shirt.

"Only to the ones with major back injuries," Clint said. "And I'm not a stranger; I'm your daughter's physical therapist."

I noted the cold tone to his voice that wasn't there before, I raised an eyebrow at him but since my dad didn't say anything in retort I decided to get back on the table.

"Well," Clint said as he felt the many scars that were running along my back. "It looks like they're healing as well as we can expect."

I nodded. "How bad is the scarring going to be?" I asked.

I didn't know that my dad was still there or I wouldn't have brought up the scarring, but it wasn't until Clint answered my question that he made his presence known again.

"Scar," he breathed out and I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Dad," I said trying to turn around.

"I didn't know it was that bad," he said and I felt him run his thumb over the ones closer to my shoulder.

I felt embarrassed. They weren't bad, were they?

I shifted a little, trying to get him to stop staring.

"Sir," Clint said taking over. "We were trying to finish a session."

My dad removed his hand from my shoulder and walked over to where I could see him. He wasn't looking at me, he was looking at his hands and messing with them. I could tell he didn't want to be here. He wanted to be in his lab working with something, it was why his hands were fidgeting.

"Dad," I said softly. "You don't have to stay."

My dad didn't say anything but he did nod and remained where he was.

Clint helped me lie down on my back.

"I'm going to see where your flexibility is at, let me know when it hurts and then I'll push you just a little bit further." He warned me.

"Why?" My dad asked. "If it's going to hurt her."

"Our main goal is to get her back to where she was, she did yoga everyday before the accident so her muscles were used to that and are able to stretch, just going to where she is 'okay' is going to cause further problems down the line," Clint explained.

Well if Clint was ever going to give up being a professional Katniss, a job as a legit physical trainer would be a good back up. Because hell, even I believed he had an idea about what he was talking about. And I know he fooled my father because he shut up and allowed Clint to continue working.

"Thank you," I said softly enough that I knew him and his hawk hearing would hear it.

The rest of our session went without a hitch, mostly it was me just groaning in pain while Clint pushed and pulled at my back.

I managed to glance back over at my dad and he seemed to pale every time Clint seemed to managed to find a specific sore spot.

After we were done Clint helped me off the table, I put my shirt back on while Clint folded up the table and put it away.

"Is there anything else?" my dad asked.

"Nope," Clint said. "Give it a few days, follow the rules," he mock glared pointing his finger at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, oh wise master guru," I teased right back.

I walked Clint to the door and he turned around to face me.

"You might think that everything is okay," he said. "But you have had a stressful couple of days. I see the bags underneath your eyes and you have lost more weight. That serum only works if you are taking care of your body."

I sighed but nodded. "I know, I'm trying to settle back down. Be proud I slept almost the entire day."

Clint nodded. "Figure out a schedule and soon Tweety, for your health." He said before leaving.

I closed the door and turned around to face my dad.

"So he is your physical trainer," my dad said.

"Yep," I said popping the p as I walked past him and headed to home base.

I thought about everything, especially the warning that Clint had given me. I needed to figure out a new schedule. Try and help my dad and fit everything into the new me, and the new life.

My thoughts were interrupted however when Pepper walked in.

"Permission to enter?" she asked. I turned my head and looked at her. I hadn't spoken to her since I called her mom; I immediately blushed at that memory. Well this is embarrassing.

"Granted," I told her as memories flashed through my mind of Peter and I behind our pillow fort making sure anyone who entered had permission. Granted, that included Pepper and Happy taking turns dressing up and pretending to be different people.

"Obadiah's downstairs," she said

"Ok," I sighed knowing that the only reason she was telling me this was because I was needed to be downstairs as well.

The two of us walked down the hall and headed down the steps.

The two of us entered the living room where Obi was. "I'm going to get your dad," she said and she headed down the steps to the lab.

How she managed the two of us and all of the steps in our house in heels I will never know, but I was impressed as hell.

"Hey kid," Obi said offering me a slice of pizza from the box. "We missed your dad at the board of directors meeting."

"He missed a board of directors meeting?" I asked taking a slice of pizza.

"Yep," he said popping the p. "You know, now that all of your hard work in the arc reactor is finally paying off what do you plan to do?" he asked.

"Well," I said before taking a bite of pizza. "I upgraded and got all of the kinks out of the one in my dad's chest and I think that clean energy is the way to go with this but I'm going to take a break and wait for everything to settle down a little before I worry about taking the next step with the arc reactor."

Obi didn't say anything and my dad walked up the steps moments after.

"How'd it go?" he asked then looked down at the box of pizza that Obi had brought. "It went that bad, huh?"

"Just because I brought pizza back from New York doesn't mean it went bad," Obi countered.

"Sure it doesn't," I scoffed the same time my dad said "Oh, boy."

"It would have gone better if you were there," Obi defended himself.

"You told me to lay low, that's what I've been doing. I lay low and you take care of it all," Dad started to ramble.

"Hey," Obi said interrupting him. "Come-on; in public. The press. This was a board of directors meeting."

"This was a board of directors meeting?" My dad asked confused, I guess he didn't purposefully miss it.

"The board is claiming you have post traumatic stress. They're filing an injunction," Obi informed us.

"What?" My dad and I cried out at the same time.

"They want to lock you out, and Scarlett can't help until she is eighteen," Obi explained.

"Why, cause the stocks dipped 40 points?" My dad asked. "We knew that was going to happen"

"Fifty-six and a half," Pepper threw out.

"Exactly the number Scarlett predicted," my dad said. "And they didn't give Scarlett an injunction when she shut the company down."

"Because I gave them a deadline," I said. "I went to the board with a plan and a deadline that they couldn't argue with. I didn't announce to the public first in a press conference."

My dad brushed that off and turned back to Obadiah. "It doesn't matter. We own the controlling interest in the company," he said.

"The board has rights, too. They're making the case that you and your new direction isn't what's best for the company," Obi said.

"I'm being responsible! That's a new direction, for me, for the company. I mean, me on the company's behalf, being responsible for the way that-" my dad said annoyed as he stood up.

"Tony, come on," Pepper said coming to my rescue.

"I'll be in the shop," he said as headed back towards the steps.

"Hey, hey! Hey, Tony. Listen," Obi said running over to him. "I'm trying to turn this thing around, but you gotta give me something. Something to pitch them." He pointed to my dad's chest "Let me have the engineers analyze that. Have Scarlett come back to work on it."

"No," my dad said. "Absolutely not."

"It'll give me a bone to throw the boys in New York," Obi stated.

"I said no, this one stays with me and until Scarlett is eighteen in a year and half I say no for her too," he said.

I looked at him and somehow I knew that Pepper, Obi, and I were sending him the same exact look. Which is the first time that the three of us had ever agreed on anything.

He somehow remained completely oblivious to the open stares reached for another slice of pizza. "This stays with me," he said.

"Tony," Pepper said softly, my dad's head turned to her. "What?" he asked.

I set my half eaten slice of pizza on the table and stood up. "I turn eighteen in two weeks," I said my voice cold and detached. "But close," I walked past all three of them to the front door where I walked out, grateful that I had put shoes on before I headed down to my dad's lab earlier today. I picked up the keys to my baby and slipped into the car and drove.

It was the first time that I had been behind the wheel since we left. And I slowly felt the feeling of normalcy returning to me. If all it was going to take for me to get some form of stableness was a good long drive I would have done it a long time ago.

I kept driving and I slowly formed a plan of where exactly I was heading.

Thirty minutes later I pulled the car up to the airstrip where our private jet was located. I hopped on the hood of the car and looked up at the stars. I didn't think about anything; I just stared at the stars.

Funny thing about escaping is that time also escapes, whether it was five or fifty minutes I had no idea. All I knew was that I was nobody and nothing was expected of me and I needed it.

I heard a car pull up next to mine, I turned my head and saw Clint and that agent guy step out.

"You managed to stay away for almost an entire week," I said as I sat up and jumped off the hood of my car. "I'm impressed."

"Miss Stark," the agent began.

"I know," I said leaning against the door of the car. "I realize what I did and the seriousness of it, I don't need the lecture."

Clint chuckled. "I told you Coulson," he said. "Scarlett is way easier to deal with."

"Yeah, Coulson," I said with a cheeky smile. "I'm easy."

He gave an uneasy smile and mimicked my position on his own car. "I'm glad that I don't need to explain it to you," he said.

"Listen," I said. "I realize what you guys are doing is important work but I don't think it's for me"

Clint folded his arms and waited for the agent's response.

"And why is that?" He asked.

"Because I don't like being lied to," I said. I saw Phil open his mouth. "Or compartmentalizing or whatever you guys called it to justify it to yourself. Whatever I am to be a part of I would need all of the details and the information and if I don't agree with it, I won't do it."

Phil closed his mouth and thought about what I had said and processed the information. "You hacked into the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division, Miss Stark. We normally either take care of those that manage to or invite them to join the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division."

I gave him a half smile. "Tell you what, you can have the nickname that I use for you, and the fact that no one put together the your initials spell a word would worry me more than a seventeen year old who used your computers to find her dad."

Clint laughed and put an arm around me. I smiled and leaned into him a little bit.

"You won't do it again?" Phil asked hesitantly.

"As long as nobody I love gets taken by a terrorist group," I said with the usual Stark smirk.

Phil just nodded. "How about we put you down for a consultant only used for world ending purposes."

I nodded my agreement. "Or if Big Bird here gets lost coming back from Sesame Street."

I actually got a smile from Agent Coulson, which I chalk up to a win, before he turned our conversation to a more sobering topic.

"I wished your father was this easy to deal with," he said.

"I've been wishing that for seventeen years agent," I said. I felt my face and spirits drop. "But what do you need to talk to my dad about?"

"The manner in which he escaped," Phil explained. "I've been trying to get a meeting with him but-"

"I'll take care of it," I said. "Plus with everything he is doing that needs to be made a priority."

"Everything he is doing?" Clint asked.

I bit my lip and looked up between these two men, I trusted Clint but this Phil guy I just met.

"Someone has been dealing underneath the table at Stark Industries," I explained. "Its how they attacked us when we were over there." I started to wring my hands as I fully explained everything from start to finish about everything. "That's what they took him for; they needed him to build the new Jericho missile that he had made. But instead of building the missile he built the metal suit he escaped in," I paused.

Clint moved over to where I was and leaned next to me. Showing that he had my back and I appreciated it.

"After I remembered what happened I realized that they were Stark products and somehow they had gotten it. When I shut down the company the first time I was looking for what was made versus what was sold. And only on paper could I find an inconsistency, which means that someone up high in Stark Industries was the one dealing underneath the table," I explained.

"Which is why he shut down Stark Industries permanently," Phil surmised.

I nod. "He's trying to prevent any future underhanded dealings until we find out who is doing it, unfortunately that doesn't take care of what is currently out there."

"What's his plan for the current ones?" Phil urged.

I bit my lip and Clint reached over and grabbed my hand. "I trust Phil with my life," he said softly. I looked up at Clint and nodded.

"I don't know for sure because he hasn't told me exactly but if I had to guess, I would say he wants to build a new suit," I said. "He wants to go on a suicide mission and destroy the ones out there with it."

There was silence between us as the information settled in.

"The twenty-fourth at seven pm," Phil said standing up and headed over to the driver seat. "Stark Industries."

"I'll put it in the books," I said.

Phil nodded and opened the driver's door.

"Agent," I said running over there. Phil stopped and looked at me. "He's trying," I began. "He feels responsible and he is trying to prove to himself that he can change what happened and save lives."

"Why are you saying this?" Clint asked walking over to where we were.

"Because he is determined and like Clint said, he is stubborn," I said. "I don't think that anything that is said to him will change his mind."

"He has you," Phil said. "Once the realistic terms of what he is trying to do sets in, I'm sure that he will stop."

I gave him a small smile but didn't say anything to contradict him. Clint clapped my shoulder with his arm. "You go on ahead, Phil," Clint said, "I'll catch up later."

Phil gave Clint a look but nodded and turned to me. "Miss Stark," he said.

"Agent," I nodded back.

Phil got into his car and drove off as Clint and I stood on the airstrip.

"What's wrong?" Clint asked as I turned around and headed over to the hood of my car again.

"Have you ever had something happen to you that's changed you?" I ask him.

Clint looked at me and hopped up beside me. "Where is this coming from Tweety?" he asked.

"I just don't think that I am the same person I was the last time I was on this air strip," I said.

"Maybe not," Clint offered. "But something that big would change anyone, that doesn't say anything about you."

"Do you know that when you showed back up at my house, when I not so subtly informed you that I knew who you were, after Rhodey left, there was a moment where I was positive that you were going to hurt me in some way?" I asked.

"I knew you were scared, but not that scared. Shit Scarlett, I'm sorry," he started to apologize.

"It's not your fault," I cut him off. "Nor was it the point of me telling you that."

"Then what was the point?" he asked.

"I was so scared and I wished that my dad was there," I said. "Because he would have made sure that nothing would have happened to me."

"That's a normal reaction for a child," Clint said.

"But he never has been," I said. "I love my dad don't get me wrong but our relationship has never been normal, I mean, I am constantly defending a man, who in all rights, probably shouldn't be defended."

"That says that the people who you love or consider close will always have you to defend them, no matter what," Clint said. "That isn't a bad thing."

"I do it because I want him to see that he is a good dad, that I love him and I'm willing to defend him because he is worth it to me. So that he won't-" I stop. No, nope, nada, never am I ever going to finish that sentence. That thought that has raged through me since I was five and had my dad's personal assistant show up for family career day. I was going to keep it bottled up in me and never let it go.

"He won't what?" Clint asked softly seeing how I had shut down.

I shook my head; I couldn't open my mouth right now. Something else I will regret will come out of my mouth today.

"Scarlett," he prodded. "You can tell me, I know you need to tell someone; that's why you're out here."

He was right, talking about with him was helping but could I really do this? Could I really talk about my biggest fears in life?

"So he won't leave me," I whisper so softly had he not had super hearing he probably wouldn't have heard.

"He would never leave you," Clint stated. I like the way he stated it, firm and confidant. He didn't know the man but he still knew it; like it was a fact.

But I had facts too, and somehow I always managed to draw up the same conclusion.

"My mom did," I said staring straight ahead, refusing to look at him. "I was a year old and my mom left me, us, on my birthday"

"It's not your fault." he said.

"Isn't it? Think about it Clint, it's not like they had money issues, my father worshiped her. One year after I'm born she up and leaves. That's not a coincidence."

He was quiet, thinking over the words, the facts; trying to come to a different conclusion then I had.

"Deep down," I said destroying the silence that had settled between us. "I think he hates me."

"Why?" Clint asked. "Why would he hate you?"

"Because she left, and that I look like her," I stated. "Everyone says it to me all the time, like its some sort of compliment. You look like her like I would feel grateful that I look like the woman who one day decided she didn't give a damn about me and left without a trace."

"And all of those thoughts and fears have shaped who I am, a seventeen year old who has one friend and has never dated anyone; someone who has spent her entire life trying to show her father that she is like him and not like her. I studied science and graduated early and went without so many normal childhood experiences to show him. And then we left this stupid airstrip and I lost him and I lost myself. And I wasn't even supposed to go," I ranted. I hoped Clint had patience because he opened this seventeen-year-old can of worms and he was going to clean up whatever was left afterwards. "I didn't want to go but he made me and I lost myself, but I thought that if I found him, if I was the one to do it, then maybe the girl I had lost would be found again. That he would finally realize that I've been here this entire time and we could be a family, a real proper family. But now all he wants to do is build this stupid suit and run half-cocked into war zones to take out terrorist groups, because he wants to right the wrong done. But what about the wrong that had been done to me? What about doing something that isn't going to get himself killed?"

Clint was silent after I had finished. I was breathing heavy after the rant, some of the words had shocked me but they were all true. In my mind my father was picking death over me. Walking back into its grasp after I had spent months prying him away from death in the first place.

"Sometimes the bigger tasks seem the easiest," Clint said. "Maybe taking on these terrorists seems easier to him because it wasn't actually him who made the wrong. But with you. Every slight against you had been him one hundred percent of the time. There isn't a bad guy to fight and there isn't an easy fix or solution to the problem he created because he was the one who created it. And it isn't fair to you and it isn't right but going against what is clearly wrong to do something right. That task seems far less daunting than the shades of grey that your relationship with him is."

I finally allowed myself to turn to Clint. The look of loss and desperation was reflected in my eyes I was sure of it. But he didn't look at me like I was a broken toy, he looked at me like that I was someone worth helping, that I was someone who could be saved.

And thinking over what he said, it made sense and I was glad I decided to talk to him because I was way too close to the subject to think objectively like he had just done.

"So what do I do?" I ask. "Because I'm not going to help him with the suits, I already told myself that I wasn't and knowing that he isn't going to stop until either he is done or he is stopped, brings a whole new wave of panic and fears and honestly, Clint, I feel like I'm drowning. I have ever since I woke up in that damn hospital and Creepy Doctor walked in. I don't think I can keep my head above water for much longer."

"Then we save you," Clint said. "We get you safe and whole again."

"What if I'm not put back together the exact way I was before?" I ask.

"So what?" Clint said shrugging. "We weren't meant to stay the same person throughout our lives, we're meant to grow and adapt and change into a new person."

"I've never been good with change," I said as a warning.

"Well luckily I have," he said hopping off of the car. "What do you say we go get some breakfast and then talk about the new you?"

I saw the sun starting to rise and I was shocked that today had just flown past as quickly as it did. But even though I was tired, what Clint was offering was something I desperately needed and wanted.

Help and a guiding hand in how I was supposed to handle this.

I nodded and got in the driver's side of the car. "Anything in particular?" I ask.

"Something with waffles," Clint said as I took off back toward the road.

AN: aw Clint always there to help Scarlett!

well there you guys go, its official Agent Stark is a no go... at least for now ;)

A huge thank you to the reviews!

Some notes on those said reviews,

Random Person (guest): I'm glad that you're intrigued with the story, thanks for the review!

storylover001: wow, thanks I'm glad you find this story so realistic. and I'm glad that you agree with my choice of keeping Scarlett away from SHIELd

MissingInspiration: I'm glad she's not a Mary-Sue in your eyes! Scarlett is going to have a very hard time trying to become her own person

Guest2700: hello! I like the thought! I guess we'll just have to wait and see if it's right ;)

guest: she is definitely going to need a new purpose and if Happy and Clint have their way its getting herself healthy again. Scarlett really justs wants her father to show a little bit of interest in her

ShigureAyameHatoriFanClub: aw, thanks for the review! and I dont know about smoothly... but he's trying, and i think that it's up to scarlett to recgonize that

mun3litKnight: I agree that Scarlett needs a new motivation the question is going to be what it is?

Maddy: aw thank you! and Scarlett has been drinking a lot recently and there may be a reason for that :)

TWD: aw thanks for the review!

JJAndrews: aw thanks i'm glad that im managing to keep the relationship with tony and scarlett realistic

NicoleR85: thanks for the review!

guest: I agree that she needs to get herself healthy again, and as for the emotional healing... we know how well Starks handle that