A/N: Thank you for the support and encouraging words. They really do help me continue the story. I know this is a short chapter and took longer to update, than I'd originally promised. I never ever stop writing I just struggle to find the right words, and as I've previously mentioned I am no pro so please bare with me.

Thank you to Savanah Rose, I haven't taken the time to review her latest chapters of The Blackest Shades of Gray but I've read and thoroughly enjoyed.

To 1CaityRose0 seriously I don't know where I would be without you. You're input has been amazing and taken on board, I hope you enjoy the little mention you've suggested.

Thank you to my guest reviewer, I was both shocked and moved by your kind words. I hope I can continue to please you with my story :D

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Divergent Collection. Those belong to Veronica Roth; I am simply borrowing some of her characters. Original characters belong to me. I will try to stay true to the original story as much as possible but I don't plan on staying canon...sorry.

Chapter 6

Coward

Standing across from me was not who I ever expected to be fighting against. Had it been Anthony, Maddy, Cass or Tristan this would have been a non-issue, we fought hard and never gave up. Nothing about those matches was taken personally we had our rules, we knew our place. Going into a match with the number one ranked was one thing, but to go into it with a friend. I didn't know what to expect.

"Well what are you waiting for lunch!...Go!" Eric called from the sidelines.

For an instant mine and Logan's eyes met, his brown eyes shone with intensity begging me to understand, mine reflecting the same message, I hope. Raising our arms we began to move toward one another, circling at first with no one wanting to make the first strike. I could almost sense Eric's frustration building up behind me, so before he reprimanded either of us I made my move. Striking low at his ribs, Logan read the move as if I'd spoken it aloud and blocked easily countering with a quick jab to my shoulder. The force or should I say lack of force didn't even make me flinch, it was like being hit with a feather. I didn't know if I was angrier with the pitiful attempt at his punch or the fact that he was giving up so soon.

Dropping my arms I stood before him with my hands on my hips. "What the hell was that" I snapped at him, I didn't like the situation any more than he did but I wasn't about to throw a fight because of it.

Logan looked stunned that I had called him out but he answered anyway. "A hit" he said unsure, sheesh if he didn't even know what it was then he really was going to throw the fight. I wasn't about to let that happen. "Oh really! If I knew you were going to fight like a pansy cake I would have knocked you out first punch" I taunted, I didn't want to win this fight on a technicality, I wanted to deserve it and if I needed to taunt and tease then that's what I'd do. I knew as I looked into his deep dark brown eyes that I had hit a nerve. Good.

Before I could even form a fist Logan came at me, all due to the shock of my comment with full throttle force. He held nothing back this time. His fist driving hard into my face the sheer force of it causing my head to fly back and my step to stagger. If my words were meant to inspire him, then they did just that. Logan didn't stop his attack, body punches to the ribs, chest and back as I pelt forward from blow after blow. He fought like a machine. I couldn't get a single shot in he was too fast, scrambling to get to my feet was doing nothing but tiring me out and still Logan came at me. He was relentless, kicking me as I laid there desperately trying to guard off his attempts to cause real damage.

I tried once again to get to my feet, laid flat on my stomach, the feeling of his foot at my neck holding me in place. Think Lillian get up and fight back! My conscious screamed at me. All my attempts to block him were failing. I wasn't fighting one of my friends right now; I was fighting the number one ranked. Logan had been replaced by someone else, someone who despised losing and fought to keep position as number one. I felt his foot leave my neck giving me time to turn over, just as I did his foot came driving down aimed directly at my head. I had very little time to stop it, catching it right before he managed to turn out my lights. All remnants of Logan were gone, consumed by anger, his nostrils flaring; his eyes flashing close into slits, as I held his foot at bay. I had to decide quickly if this fight was worth winning; I knew just by the menacing look in Logan's eyes that he was not about to let up. Did that mean I should?

Another shove of his foot had awoken me from my inner thoughts and I reacted defensively. Gripping his foot and twisting it away from my chest bringing him to the mat. We grappled at one another fighting for dominance until ultimately Logan won out, locking me in a tight choke hold. I tried to pry his arms off of me but it was to no avail. I was losing breath, blood rushing to my head, vision blurring. This couldn't be it; I couldn't lose like this, so easily beaten with so many years of training under my belt. Before my eyes started to roll back into my head Eric's face came into view, not the look I'd expected him to be wearing. Disappointment shrouded his face as his eyes locked on mine. In that one expression it conveyed so much. He didn't want me to lose.

Conjuring what breath of energy I had left I fought back. I gouged at Logan's eye, not too hard to cause damage but enough to loosen his grip, reaching behind me pulling his body over my shoulder. I don't know if it was the second wind provided by Eric's face or the realization that I did not want to lose this way but something inside me snapped, just as Logan had done to me. I went berserk and punished him with blow after blow with the power of my fists. A monster had been released inside, taking power over me. This was no longer a fight for position but possession to be the best. Neither one of us grew tired, neither one of us willing to concede.

A single voice spoke up, carrying over the heavy breathing of both Logan and I. I couldn't make out the words and I wasn't about to let my guard down to find out. Logan hobbled toward me, stopping only a second before his arm drew back to attack.

"STOP!" This time the commanding voice, was clear in its intent.

"You've both had enough. No one wins!" The voice belonged to Four; I turned to the direction of his voice, wondering how he'd managed to make it to where Eric now stood. I realized that the voices I'd heard during the fight weren't just the voices in my head but the voices of Four and Eric. How long had they been arguing?

Eric looked like an enraged bull ready to bulldoze Four where he stood. I wondered how his face wasn't turning a bright shade of red by that single expression.

I felt myself almost topple over when Logan reached out grabbing hold of me, pulling me in close to his body. Not in aggression but in protection, a complete 360 to mere seconds ago. It gave me hope that we'd still be friends after this because honestly I wasn't quite sure. Even though Logan or I didn't win I prayed that Eric would let us go, after being called to a halt I didn't think I could carry on anymore.

"Trent and Tristan you're up" Four called out not waiting for Eric to make a decision. Anthony flew forward hoisting me up in his arms and carrying me back to the sidelines. I didn't even have the energy to protest, my eyes aching to stay awake but eventually they slid closed letting the darkness take over.

"Shh she's waking up" a soft hushed voice spoke up; the sound of it almost lulled me back to sleep. Memories of my fight flooded my head. I was vain enough to care about what damage Logan had done to my face hoping that the extent of it wasn't too bad.

With more effort than it took to fight; I opened my eyes to a room full of my friends. Maddison and Peyton sat on either side of my cot holding a hand each both squeezing tightly when my eyes lifted to theirs. Anthony and Tristan stood leaning against the wall, unlike the rest of my friends they weren't looking at me their eyes directed near Peyton. I turned in the direction their pointed glares were aimed at and was met with a guilt ridden Logan. Ahh. It would be funny if it weren't so serious.

"Logan" I spoke up his eyes snapped to mine in slight shock that I had spoken his name. I smiled at him but it was not returned if anything his face fell more. Oh boy!

"I could of killed you Lilz...I almost did" He says choking up. I already missed the trademark smile he and Peyton wore daily. This face worn in with guilt was not something I ever wanted to grow accustomed to.

"Stop it! It's my fault that we're all in this situation. Don't blame yourself for something that was completely out of your control. I don't. And you shouldn't either" I tell him, praying that he can not only forgive me but forgive himself as well. We all had to come to terms with it. Like it or not this was happening.

"Lilz is right Logan" Peyton said in an unusually quiet voice,

"It doesn't make what I did right" he snaps at her. I racked my brain for some way to salvage the day's events; Logan didn't deserve to suffer for any part of it.

"You can't think like that Logan. Blaming yourself isn't going to change what happened. I could have very well hurt you but you don't see me crying about it" I tell him

"I wasn't..." His eyes snapped to mine heated at first until realization hit that I was only teasing him.

"Yeah that's what I thought" and for the first time since I opened my eyes Logan finally cracked a smile. I wasn't the only one who breathed a sigh of relief at the expression. Crisis adverted...For now.

Night fell before my friends left my side. I'd spent the night hulled up in the infirmary, with one final dreaded thought on my mind before I drifted off to sleep. Eric.

The following morning did nothing to calm the uneasiness I'd felt during the night. The closer I drew to the training room the more the feeling intensified and as I walked through those doors a strange feeling of impending danger washed over me.

It was the first day all over again.

"You're killing me Nose! Hurry up! Eric shouted as I neared the mats. I hadn't even noticed that I was the last to arrive. I quickened my pace so not to agitate him further, sliding in beside Logan and Pey and ignoring the pointed glare he shot me when Logan squeezed my hand.

Eric began to pace along the mat hands clasped behind his back. "Everything you are about to do is changing. It's about control...controlling your anger and harnessing that aggression into a win. If you lose you get up and go again. Only a coward quits!

In true Eric fashion he left us hanging on his words, faces of bewilderment surrounding me as we all wondered what that meant for us, what that meant for the duration of our training?

Eric's eyes glanced over the line scanning for his next targets."Grea and Lilz" he called out clearly. I pinched myself in hopes that this was yet another dream that I had conjured up. Nope definitely awake.

Reality had yanked me out of my rut catching my attention, just as Eric had yet again kicked me in the gut.

Before I'd even stepped foot on the cushioned mat Grea lunged at me, gripping my hair and pulling my head toward her knee...crap that hurt.

"Cowards don't fight back..." Eric called out from the sidelines. The hypocrisy in his words fueled me to get up. It's with fighting back that got me here.

Grea's eye's bulged when I began to fight back, though I was still weakened from the days previous match I refused to let that hold me back. I was no coward.

Grea wasn't much of a fighter and like most of the evil's she relied on dirty tactics. Biting, pulling hair nothing of off limits. Her movements were sluggish and predictable. I ducked her attempt at an upper cut and countered with my own. Her face rippled with pain and though I knew I shouldn't have I let her catch her breath.

"Cowards are weak..." Eric said, as I waited for her to recover. His sideline comments were infuriating me, but it was with that distracting comment that Grea managed to swipe at me catching me completely off guard and causing me to stumble back.

"Cowards Give Up!..." Eric ranted on.

Blinded by the red haze Eric's words provided I drew back my fist knocking Grea out clean smiling victoriously when her eyes rolled back right before they closed. She crashed into the mat with a loud thump and in the process jolting me out of my mad state.

Guilt swallowed me whole. I had allowed Eric to get the better of me. This wasn't who I was, I didn't get some satisfaction over victory, vindicated or not I was not this person.

"Someone get her to the infirmary" Eric spat out, his eyes never left mine as we both glowered at each other.

I finally understood why I responded so strongly to this man, why my skin prickled or the hairs on the back of my neck rose when he touched me. I hated him.

With each passing day Eric grew more and more obsessed with exerting his power over me, nitpicking over the tiniest of details. Right now it was like striving for the unachievable and all I was doing was drowning in a sea of unrealistic expectations. I couldn't do anything right, hell he even chewed me out for not talking once, followed up quickly with a "Why are you talking". The man was insufferable.

A/N: Fighting scenes might just be about the hardest things to write, I really hope I did it justice. I didn't really know how to finish the chapter, I added then shaved so many times it drove me crazy. I hope this was okay. If not then please let me know. I am open to suggestion :-D