Rubbing my face I groan as I think about Anastasia waiting for me in the other room. What's going on with me? I feel so lost and confused. Most of all I feel bad. I feel bad that I took my frustrations out on her in the play room and it was only our first time in there. I won't punish her for being mad. I could see the emotions on her face as she left the room. The tears down her cheeks tugged at me.

I walked in to my office and sat on the couch. Looking towards her I felt the guilt all over agin. Her eyes were rimmed with tears and her face was flushed.

"Anastasia will you please come kneel in front of me so I can look at you." I was trying to be as gentle as possible. It was hard for me. I wanted to treat her like a fragile porcelain doll but it never worked out right.

"Anastasia please look at me." I watched as her big blue eyes stared into mine. They really were so beautiful. She really was so beautiful.

"Can we talk about what happened in there please. Explain to me what is going on because if I am hurting you by just having you here I will send you back to Detroit. I'm sorry I've been so rough I really am a great Dom but I'm not an easy one. I can be rough and some days I can be gentle. It's just who I am." I saw her fighting with her feelings. I knew she wanted to say something but feared the punishment of doing so. Slowly I reached my hand out and cupped her face. Gently stroking her cheek I pulled her up and let her lay against my chest. This was a first for me. No one has ever gotten this close to my bare chest without me seeing red.

"Speak freely Ana." I whispered into her ear.

"Mr. Grey I-I miss my daughter. You can't possibly understand because you have no kids but she's apart of me. She's only a year old and I feel like I'm missing out on precious time. I'm sorry for cursing at you sir. I was just so overwhelmed. I'm not usually like this. " Rubbing circles onto her back I felt her body slightly relax. I couldn't help but smile I liked this feeling. Her being so close to me just felt right. I definitely needed a session with Flynn.

"I understand Anastasia... We will figure something out okay? First I need you to tell me why you screamed red. Was I hurting you? Was it too much for you? Did you have a legitimate reason?" I stared down at her hoping she would say yes. I didn't want to punish Ana at all but I couldn't deal with her screaming red every time she felt angry. To be honest it scared the shit out of me when she did it. I know I can be rough but I never want to hurt her. I never want to cause pain towards her on purpose. Safe words were a very serious thing to me and I didn't take them lightly.

"No sir.. I-I didn't have a reason I was just so angry at you ! I don't understand why I wouldn't be able to release just because you're upset. Or why I can't even moan while having sex. It just made me so angry sir. " I stared at her with confusion. I knew she had other Doms so why was she acting so confusing. Those thing were common commands in a playroom it's just how scenes went most of the time. It was all about the submissive giving us control. Believe it or not they are the ones with the power.

" Ana correct me if I'm wrong but I'm sure you have had other Doms do that right? I mean it is not uncommon." I had to get down to the bottom of her behavior. Her emotions for her daughter made sense but her emotions towards playing a submissive didn't.

" Yes they have. I'm sorry for the way I've acted. Uhm are.. are you going to punish me now? " looking down I saw her biting her lip while staring at her hands. I instantly felt aroused something about that lip just had an effect on me. Shifting her so she was sitting up right on the couch I gently turned her face to look at me.

"I won't punish you for cursing me out Miss Steele. I understand you miss your daughter. I'm afraid I will punish you for safe wording with out a cause. Anastasia I want to take care of you if you would let me. Safe wording is important. It lets me know that you're okay and it lets me know if I'm really hurting you. I can't play around with that it's too dangerous and honestly scary for us to do that. Do you get what I'm saying?" She nodded her head yes. Usually I would expect verbal confirmation but I just wasn't in the mood to be a hard ass right now. I wanted her to feel free with me. I scoffed at myself. Seriously what the fuck was going on with me. This girl was changing me in the matter of only 3 days and I couldn't say that was a bad thing.

"Lay across my lap or bend over the couch. Which ever is more comfortable for you." My inner Dom rolled his eyes at me. Since when do submissives get to choose how they want to receive a punishment Christian? Since now. I smiled as she chose to lay across my lap. Maybe being more gentle with her is what Anastasia needed as a submissive. I wasn't used to it but I could definitely try for her.

"Okay I'm going to start now Ana. It's just my hand and 10 like before." Really the last time a sub safe worded without cause I used my strap on her 3 times. It was that serious for me but I couldn't do to Anastasia. I couldn't imagine using a strap against her delicate porcelain skin. Shaking my head I raised my hand and brought it down with moderate force. I heard her take a sharp breath and hoped she wouldn't cry. As selfish as it sounded her crying would break what little heart I did have. Continuing at the same pace and force I saw Anastasia discomfort and was coming to regret what I was about to do.

"Only two more Ana but these last two are to show you the severity of you actions. Spread your legs for me a little angel." Angel? Whatever it just felt right at that moment. After she spread her legs I landed two hard smacks on her inner thighs. As soon as I did that Ana began to sob. I knew that hurt the most as the rest of the punishment had been light. Feeling bad I just let her cry it out as I rubbed her back. I had no idea what she was doing to me but I didn't want her to stop.

Here you guys go ! It's shorter but I just wanted to give you guys a little something as I prepared the surprise for Ana. Some of you have expressed that you felt Christian was a Rapist uhmm I don't believe that's the case but each their own. Christian has some serious deep issues in fifty shades and he's admitted to taking it out on pretty little brown haired subs. This is how I picture his fucked upness I'm sorry if that bothers you but you don't have to read if it does I would understand. Anastasia will bring out a better Christian but that takes time. I hope you guys enjoy seeing what her punishment feels like from his point of view in this chapter so you see that he's not a psycho just a hurt little boy inside fighting his inner demons! Please review so I can see what you guys thought !