The difference between trying and being
'It's time to choose Rita, it's me or Connie…' Dixie sighed.
.
Rita was undecided and the rest of the morning was a blur. Dixie had left and Rita was ignoring every text from Connie. Rita's home phone rang and she left it to go to answering machine, it was Connie – 'Rita, I have no idea why you're ignoring me, but this is getting out of hand now. Call me back or I'll be round yours in half an hour', Connie hung up.
30minutes later Rita obviously expected that knock on her door which was right on cue, she made her way over and opened it wide.
'Come in'
'Rita I was worried! No one had heard from you and you weren't picking up or answering any of my calls. What are you playing at?' Connie was confused.
'What am I playing at?' Rita dropped her jaw in disbelief and gave an exasperated breath.
'What's that supposed to mean?' Connie asked.
'Jacob?' Rita raised an eyebrow.
Connie eyes dropped 'if you saw what I think your talking about you'd know that that wasn't my fault and he came on to me. I pushed him away and that was it. Don't worry he's been warned and won't be doing that again'.
'Me and Zoe both saw you two. It was humiliating for me!' Rita felt frustration building in her body.
'Rita don't be like this,you know I love you'
'You love me?' Rita sighed knowing Connie was winning her heart all over again.
'Of course I do! Ever since Grace leaving and our massive fall out you're the best thing that could've happened and I'm so happy we made up'
Rita was feeling so ashamed of herself 'I'm sorry'
'Hey you have nothing to be sorry for Reet'
Reet that's what Dixie called me, she couldn't stop thinking about the other blonde…'Connie I…'
'Hey stop it! Now if you can forgive this whole sorry situation with that nurse masters creep, we can be happy…together! What do you say?' Connie was trying so hard to rekindle their romance.
'I'd say yes… I love you too Connie' Rita sighed pulling Connie in by her waist and placing a tender kiss on her lips.
'We're both to be honest with one another from now on, anything that worries either of us will be shared…together if this is to work, okay?'
'Okay' Rita tried a smile.
.
Just before Connie left the two women had decided to make plans to go out for dinner tonight at a local restaurant. Rita was now alone for a couple of hours at home with her thoughts. She couldn't play Dixie so she decided to send her a message…
Dix, I'm sorry for everything… Connie came round earlier and explained the whole situation with Jacob, but I do need to see you some time before tonight. Please reply I don't want to lead you on anymore and we need to sort this R x
Within an hour Rita heard a knock at her door – it was Dixie. Rita let her in and they made their way through to the lounge where they both sat on either end of one of Rita's sofas.
'Dix…I'm sorry' Rita tried.
'It's fine Rita…honestly if she makes you happy that's all I want to see'
'I should never have kissed you that night…or before' Rita explained, ' I don't know why we keep doing this, I know it's wrong but every time we get into that situation I feel myself being drawn into you'
'Rita stop, I'm not going to be the other woman'
'I'm not asking you to be…'
'Well what are you saying Rita, because you lost me as soon as I walked in, I can't figure you out at the moment and I thought I knew you so well'
'We have to stop, this is the end for us. We're friends and always will be but nothing more. We both have to get over it'
'That's fine Rita' Dixie forced a smile and stood up to leave.
'I really am sorry, I wish things could be different…' A single tear slid down Rita's face and Dixie couldn't even look at her as she left.
Dixie closed the door behind her and tears streamed down her face not knowing why she was upset about a five minute fling. She walked to her car and sat with her head in her hands trying to wipe away her tears and clear her vision.
Rita watched all of this from her lounge window. More tears filled Rita's face. Had she made the right decision? Dixie was always to be Rita's best friend but Rita needed a lover in her life.
.
Rita had watched Dixie drive off and began to organise herself and prepare for her date night with Connie. This is it she thought, a new start, a new life with Connie.
Their meal was great Rita ordered lasagne and Connie ordered a pasta salad. The wine was flowing and both women felt great in one another's company. Rita new she had made the right choice and was looking forward to a great Christmas with Connie.
.
The morning after the night before…
Connie woke first from Rita's bed smiling as she saw the beautiful blonde laying next to her. She snuggled into her chest and hugged her so their warm bodies entwined together. Rita slowly woke and smiled down to Connie whose eyes were looking up at her…
'Morning beautiful, we need to get up I've had an idea' Rita was trying so hard to make this Christmas special for herself and Connie.
Rita blindfolded Connie just after they were washed and dressed and lead her carefully holding her hand out to her car were they drove to a nearby garden centre.
Rita slowly undid Connies blindfold and said 'surprise! Pick one!' And array of Christmas trees paraded in front of them and Connie just smiled to herself and then turned to Rita.
'This is wonderful' Connie grabbed Rita's hand and made their way to pick a tree that's when they saw Charlie…
'Hi' Charlie said looking ever so confused as to why the two women where holding hands. 'Are you two?...'
'Erm' Rita and Connie looked at one another trying not to laugh like school girls but also so shocked as to what to say to him.
'Yes, I think we are' Connie smiled.
Rita laughed and lowered her head they were behaving like love struck teenagers but loved every minute.
'Well that's great' Charlie smiled! 'I'm glad to see you two on better terms and if this is the way it has to be you to are perfect for one another' it was obvious he was so happy for them. ' oh and before I forget Zoe and Max are having a New Years party at their flat and asked me to spread the word, so seen as though I've seen you it'll save me a text'.
'That's great I think we'll go! You know we might even announce that were together to everyone! The start of a new year and the start of us! How good does that sound!' Connie beamed at Rita.
'Great!' Rita forced a smile, 'who else is going then?' Rita finished, try to be as cool as ever and succeeding.
'Most of the ED staff, a few from upstairs and the obvious paramedics' Charlie stated.
'Jacob' Rita mouthed to Connie…
'I told you it doesn't matter, beside we'll be announcing us!' Connie said back.
Rita didn't really care about Jacob she was just using that to cover her own anger and self consciousness about Dixie and was getting hot under the collar about her being there as she knew she would be.
'Well you two have a great Christmas, no doubt I'll be seeing you new years but if not have a wonderful start to the year and I'll see you back at work' Charlie smiled and walked off to his car.
'Bye, merry Christmas' they chorused back.
.
Rita and Connie were travelling home with the largest Christmas tree from the garden centre peeping over the car roof.
'Do you have any decorations Rita?'
'I've loads up in the loft' Rita smiled to Connie but it was obvious her mind was else where and hooked on attending or rather not attending that New Years party.
Silence was a virtue until they returned back to Rita's house they climbed out the car and hauled the Christmas tree inside which just fit inside the door luckily.
.
Rita made her way up to the attic. And Connie undid the string holding the Christmas tree together and placed the tree in a corner of the room. Rita emerged from up stairs holding two massive boxes of decorations…
'They're a bit old and dusty' Rita made Connie aware.
'It doesn't matter I'm just happy we can do this together'
'Me too' Rita smiled.
They began to decorate the tree and paraded round the room playing with tinsel and teasing one another. This was the happiest either of the women had been in a long time and it was Christmas Eve eve so they were both pretty excited to be spending their first Christmas together.
'Here you can do the honours' Rita smiled to Connie passing her the star to go on top.
'You think I can reach up there!' Connie winked and with this Rita grabbed her waist and raised her ever so slightly to place the finishing touch on the tree.
'Perfect' Rita admired their work.
'Just like you!' Connie beamed back at her flinging her arms around her and pressing her lips against Rita's.
'An early night it is' Rita winked.
.
Christmas Eve – the next morning the two women lay in bed entwined in one another's bodies. The warmth of one another against each naked body made them feel secure. Slowly each woman opened the eyes.
'I love you' Connie smiled kissing Rita on the forehead.
'You too D…Con' Rita quickly shuddered aware of what she'd just done, where did it come from?! Obviously she was just half asleep so she just acting dumb and pretending to be still in a daze.
'Come here you' Connie placed a kiss on Rita's lips and let her hands caress her body as she lay on top of Rita. Rita succumbed to temptation returning the kiss and moving her way down her neck.
'Shit it's Christmas Eve! We have nothing bought apart from a tree!' Connie made Rita aware, 'come on we're going shoppinggggggg' Connie grabbed Rita's hand her pulled her naked body up slapping her bum and winking at her.
.
They drove through to town in Rita's car whilst Connies car still rest outside Rita's house as she had been staying the past few nights. They reached Holby shopping centre and jumped out of the car, Connie wore louboutons and a figure hugging dress as per whilst Rita just wore comfy black boots, black jeans and a grey top.
'Come on' Connie said as Rita was daydreaming as she locked the car.
'Sorry, I'm coming' Rita smiled.
Inside it was so hard to move for the crowds of people doing their last minute Christmas shopping.
'I'll meet you upstairs in the Chinese at 2!' Connie said and she went to find Rita some last minute Christmas presents.
Rita wandered about looking in the clothes and jewellery shops thinking about what she could but for Connie. Ever so occasionally people would just bump into Rita as the crowds were so hectic. Rita came across a pair of louboutons, ones she knew that Connie didn't already have. They were a matte nude pink colour and they were perfect apart from the hefty price tag of £500.
Rita knew she had to get them so pulled out her purse and paid for them using her card, she finally smiled to herself and let go, she knew this was going to be the best Christmas in a long time. Before finishing shopping and heading back to Connie, Rita bought a few more bits including a photo frame with the word love written in silver lettering across the top and she got printed a photo of her and Connie to put in it. She also bought Connie a box of chocolates and a large bouquet of flowers and went to her car to place all the presents in the boot to make sure Connie didn't see any of them.
Connie had already finished her shopping and was waiting upstairs she had them all locked away in plain bags and out of sight so she wasn't worried about Rita seeing them.
The both ate at the Chinese and then decided to go home and call it a day.
.
Rita went up upstairs and wrapped the heels, chocolate and photo and then placed the flowers out of sight on the patio until morning.
Connie was downstairs wrapping her presents for Rita which included a black mulberry swing bag, a luxury leather jacket and a pair or diamond earrings, she also had an extra gift which she would save until Christmas dinner.
'Con, can you switch the lights off and lock up before you come to bed' Rita shouted from the top of the stairs, Connie placed Rita's presents under the tree and went up to bed.
'I love you'
'I love you too'
Rita waited until Connie was fast asleep and snuck downstairs to place her gifts under the tree. She quickly went outside and grabbed the flowers from the cold and put the under them under tree too. She smiled at the sight of the living room before leaving and switching the light off. She switched the light back on, something had caught her eye…
What's that she wondered… Rita made her way over to her fireplace where there was a smaller present hiding behind a picture. It wasn't wrapped and was a small box, able to open without destroying it she took the box and looked inside…
.
It's Christmas!
Connie woke first snuggling into Rita and trying ever so lightly to wake her up. Eventually she succeeded and Rita began to open her eyes.
'Happy Christmas' Connie smiled and placed a tender kiss on Rita's lips.
'Happy Christmas Con'
They both got up and stay in their night wear and decided to go downstairs and open their presents together whilst watching early morning Christmas TV and movies.
Obviously Connie saw her flowers first 'Wow, thank you they're amazing Reet!' Reet… 'Here you open one of yours first' Connie smiled passing a package to Rita.
Rita tore off the silver wrapping and and it revealed the leather jacket Connie had bought for her, 'Thankyou' she beamed 'I needed a new one my brown one was getting very tatty!' Rita hugged Connie, 'I want you to save your main present for last that's the box so here you can have this one first' Rita said whilst passing the wrapped chocolates and then also passing the photo frame and picture of the two to Connie.
Connie unwrapped both and beamed at the sight of each, 'they're lovely, Thankyou so much'
Connie then passed Rita the diamond earrings and the mulberry bag which were wrapped in brown paper and had silver string lining them.
'I hope you like them…' Connie smiled.
Rita opened each and her eyes widened at the sight of the gifts, 'connie you shouldn't have, these must have cost a fortune' Rita hugged Connie tight kissing her.
'I'm just glad you like them' Connie kissed Rita back.
'Here's your main present' Rita winked, 'I hope they're your size' she finished trying to make Connie aware of what she had before actually opening the wrapping and box.
'You didn't!?' Connie had twigged, she quickly unwrapped the louboutins and hugged them into her body ' they're perfect Thankyou so much, you know me so well' Connie smiled from ear to ear, 'I do actually have one more present I was going to save it until later but nows the right time'
Rita's face dropped, she wasn't very subtle.
Connie got up and looked behind the picture to get the small box from the fire place Rita had previously found 'that's weird, I must not of brought it down but I could have been sure I'd put in there' the box was no where to be seen. 'Don't worry I'll go and look upstairs' Connie smiled 'I'll be right back'
Rita moved her position from the floor to the sofa with her head in her hands trying to figure out if she should of done what she'd done…
'I can't find it Reet' Connie shouted from the top of the stairs…
'Reet stop calling me Reet' Rita muttered under her breath it was obviously bothering her but she didn't let Connie hear.
.
Much to Connie's surprise she thought she'd lost Ritas last present but was determined not to give up, 'Do you mind if I keep looking, it's kind of important and you make a start on Christmas dinner?' Connie asked.
'Yeah that's fine' Rita tried a smile.
'Thankyou, I love you' Connie started 'you know what?'
'What?' Rita asked.
'I don't need the present to say this' Connie began ' Rita Freeman, I'm totally in love with you, who'd have thought it! But seriously our arguments have lasted a lifetime and now it's time for our love to last a lifetime, will you marry me' Connie got down on one knee.
'I don't know what to say' Rita appeared flustered.
'Well… Say yes?' Connie winked, 'I'm waiting'
'Er…yes?' Question filled Ritas own answer but Connie was oblivious to her doubts. Connie stood up and wrapped her arms around Rita.
.
Christmas dinner
The two women had a full Christmas dinner at Ritas house, the table was laid and crackers lined both table mats. Rita wore a paper hat from a previous opened cracker whilst Connie just wore a Christmas jumper and apron as she had helped with the cooking in the end. As the day grew on the pair sat snuggled on the sofa watching the queens speech and then watching the soaps and finishing with the polar express before the fell asleep against one another's bodies surrounded by warmth and homeliness.
.
Boxing Day was a blur and the week passed pretty quickly as Rita knew she didn't want it to as she didn't want to attend the New Years party.
'Can we just not go?' Rita asked Connie.
'Not go where?' Connie was confused.
'Zoe and Max's party… I don't want to go, I just want to be with you in the time we have off together'
'I just want to be with you, but this is the perfect time for us to announce our engagement, as I've said before it's the start of a new year so it's the start of us' Connie persisted.
.
The day of the party came…
'Hey can you pass me my dress please Reet?' Connie asked whilst applying makeup and finishing her hair…
Rita rolled her eyes to herself at the thought of Reet but again kept quiet about it and passed Connie her evening dress. ' are you going to wear your new louboutins?' Rita asked.
'Of course' Connie replied ' but you've got to cheer up, come on Reet' Connie smiled and was really trying.
'I'm sorry, I just can't stop thinking about…'
'Don't you dare say Jacob, is that what this silent treatment is about! I told you all about this…'
'No Connie, no it's not I promise!' Rita convinced her, ' it's just about…well I,'m so happy we're getting married' now Rita was trying to convince herself, 'you know what, I love you Constance Beauchamp' Rita had finally let go of her doubts for good this time.
'That's great and I love you too…but less of the Constance please' Connie laughed and pulled Rita on top of her onto the bed looking into her eyes and the moving forward to kiss her lips…
.
Connie wore a black tight figure hugging dress with her new louboutins and a matching clutch bag whilst Rita work a black top, jeans and a blazer which held some glitter and some black louboutin shoes she'd borrowed from Connie.
'I don't know how you walk in these' Rita laughed.
'You get used to it on a day to day basis' Connie laughed back at her.
'Come on, are you driving?' Rita asked.
'Yes I will do' Connie smiled'just let me grab a jacket and we can be off'
Both Connie and Rita now we're ready and headed for the door they locked up and entered Connie's car and drove round to Zoe and Max's flat which already had many cars outside the front.
'Jesus, there must be a lot of people here' Connie said whilst trying to park her car.
'Party of the year' Rita laughed.
Connie finally found a place to squeeze her car into and took Ritas hand at kissed her delicately, 'the start of a new year'
'It sure is' Rita returned the kiss and couldn't wait to announce their engagement.
They walked into the apartment block and up the stairs to the flat to which the door was already open. They were greeted by other ED staff and then finally saw Zoe and Max.
'Hi, nice to see you did you have a lovely Christmas?' Zoe said to them whilst standing beside Max and kissing Connie and Rita both on the cheeks.
'It was very nice thank you' Connie smiled, 'how was yours? Oh and here's a bottle of champers for everyone to enjoy at midnight'
'Ah thank you! We really enjoyed it actually our first Christmas in this place I couldn't asked for anything better' Zoe and Max both smiled at one another.
'We've actually got some news…'connie started. 'We're engaged' Connie blurted and everyone around them stopped speaking and all eyes where on Connie and Rita.
Suddenly well wishes and applause rang out around the flat 'congratulations, unexpected but brilliant!' Max realised he'd said aloud.
Connie, Rita and a few others just laughed 'no more arguments at work, everyone will be happy' Connie winked and nudged Rita.
Rita smiled back at Connie and then kissed her whilst a few wolf whistles could be heard coming around from the room. Rita and Connie didn't care what other people thought they were totally smitten with one another…
Rita then turned her glance towards a figure leaving the room brushing past people.
Rita excused her self and said she was just say hello to a few of her other friends but really left the apartment and followed who she was led to believe was Dixie.
Rita reached the bottom of the stairs and glanced out towards Dixie who was stood at the front entrance with her back to Rita.
'Dixie?' Rita said.
'Hi, you! Merry Christmas and I hear congratulations are in order' Dixie smiled.
'I need…' Rita started but was then interrupted as a brunette woman walked through the entrance.
'Rita meet, Julia'
'Er…erm hi?' Rita was confused as she'd never seen this woman before and then right before her eyes Julia kissed Dixie on her lips.
Rita let out a small laugh, rolled her eyes and looked a way, she then just said, 'I'm just going to be off outside, it was nice to meet you Julia' Rita went and found a bench and sat outside.
10minutes passed.
'Hey Reet, come on you're missing the party' a voice shouted from behind her it was Dixie.
Rita just nodded it was clear something was bothering her.
'Hey come on what's the matter?' Dixie took a place next to Rita.
A single tear slid from Ritas left eye.
'Come on, come on don't cry' Dixie brushed the tear from Ritas cheek and Rita just stare into dixies eyes.
'Dix…I' Rita placed a small kiss on Dixies lips holding it there as moments passed and Dixie didn't know how to respond.
Finally Dixie pulled back 'Rita?'
Again Rita pressed her lips into Dixies caressing her face and not wanting to leave the blonde she couldn't get out from her mind.
'I need to go' Dixie said.
'But I…'
'I know better…'
'Dixie please, I can't stop thinking about you'
'You're happy with Connie and I'm trying to be happy with Jules'
'But that's just it, I'm trying to be happy with Connie and I am happy with you' Rita was an emotional wreck.
'Come on Rita it will all be okay' Dixie wrapped an arm around Rita to try and control her shivering and crying, 'don't worry, we'll sort it out'