AN : Here it is! This chapter is a lovey dovey chapter because I believe they needed it 3 So I hope ya'll love it !
Walking up the stairs I think about what I'm going to say. I knew Anastasia was pissed and after thinking it over I understood why. It wasn't easy for me to look back and realize that I may have done things wrong. Elena was the first person who broke my boundaries even when I said no. At the time being 15 years old I thought that was what I needed.
Even if I gave her consent a 40 year old lady should never really be having sex with a child so young. I never actually admitted it to myself because I guess I was in denial. The truth of the matter is Elena wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. This is something I would have to explain to Ana. Yea I could cut my ties and pull out of our business agreement but she was still a friend of my mothers. I never told my parents what conspired between the two of us. I wasn't sure that I was ready to either.
Coming up to her bedroom door I lean against it. I wasn't sure what I was doing. Being new to all of this what was I supposed to do? What were we even do here? Were we dating? Were we friends? This whole situation was out of my comfort zone. Laying my head back against the wall I slid down to the floor. It wasn't really that I wasn't sure what to say. It was more that I was scared of what I wanted to say.
I wanted to be with Ana more than anything in the world. I wanted to be able to have a real serious relationship without all my fucked up baggage. No matter how many conversations I had with Flynn here I was still dwelling over my past and letting it prevent me from living in the present. Being so lost in my thoughts I didn't even hear the bedroom door open. It was until I felt her body slide down next to mine that I realized Ana was sitting next to me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I-I just hate to think of someone taking advantage of you… God Christian you didn't even see how amazing you are." She says she leans her head against my shoulder. Reaching over she grabs my hand and holds it in her lap. This moment right here and now just felt right. If this was our last moment together I would be content just knowing we shared such an intimate moment together without even trying.
"I'm sorry too Ana… but there're more you should know... " Lifting her head I turn so that I can face her without letting her hand go.
"Even if I dropped Elena she's my mother's best friend Ana... she comes to dinners and parties and she's always there. I never told my parents what happened… not to mention we're in business together. I was the one who helped her get her salons." I look into her eyes and see that she's upset. I just wanted us to be honest with each other. I wasn't sure what the hell a relationship was all about but I knew honesty was important even in friendships. So I went with it.
"Christian… what are we even do here? What are we? I want to be with you… but if you tell me that years from now you don't see this moving anywhere... I mean what about Elizabeth? She already adores you so much…" Her words trail off as she stares at my hands and I feel my heart speed up. Could I sit here and deny my true feelings for her and possibly lose Elizabeth and Ana in a heartbeat? I didn't want to find out.
"Anastasia… I'm not sure what I'm doing. I'm going to say and do the wrong things. I'm never going to be the perfect boyfriend and I have ton fuck of baggage but I don't want to wake up one morning and regret that I never gave us a fair chance. I'm not going anywhere as long as you're willing to take the journey with me." I just put my heart on my sleeve and I was terrified. I wasn't a man easily scared but the action of completely letting my walls down made me that four year old little boy all over again. It wasn't something I never did because I never wanted any one to have that kind of power over me again. Looking into her eyes I gently pull her arms so she straddles my lap. Tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear I lean in to kiss her. Coming from a man who was in to the kinkiest lifestyle out there… it wasn't that way with her anymore. Kissing was something I craved just being in her presence. That was something I've never felt before.
I closed my eyes as I felt her hands run through my hair moaning I grip her ass I stand and wrap her legs around my waist. Never breaking our kiss I walk backwards kicking her bedroom door open with my heel. Walking until I felt the back of my knees hit the bed I turned and laid Ana on to the mattress. Removing her shirt I bend down and leave a trail of kisses from her neck down to the middle of her chest.
"Christian please." I can hear the desperation in her voice as I undo her jeans. Sliding them down her slender legs I move back on top.
"Tell me what you want Ana. I want to hear you say it." Rubbing her clit I feel her moisten and stick two finger in between her folds.
"I need you to take me Christian." She's panting and I can feel myself growing at the sight of her being so helpless. I smile at the whimper that escapes her lips as I stand to remove my clothing. As I lay on top of she grips me in hands and I can't help but moan at the contact. I close my eyes as I feel her guide between her legs.
"God baby you feel amazing." I push into her and stop to give her time to adjust to my size. Looking into her eyes I can't help but feel so much... love for her. Moving in and out of her I decide I need this slow. I need to show her how much I care.
Finding our rhythm I get lost in her body. Nothing could ever beat this moment… the feeling I get when being intimate with her. Everything around us stops and it's just me and her right now in our own oblivion.
Laying in the aftermath of our third round together I look down at Anastasia as she sleeps on my arm. What I would give to have this moment last forever. The peace and happiness surrounding us at this moment is like our own little bubble. Nothing can burst it… its almost indestructible.
I turn to the baby monitor as I hear Elizabeth begin to stir. Slowly untangling our limbs I pull on some pants before walking to the nursery. Seeing Elizabeth grabbing on to the bars inside her crib holding her body upright makes me smile. This beautiful little girl had my heart. To think I would always say I didn't have heart. I used to say I wasn't capable of loving.
"Hey beautiful Christians here to help you." Picking her up from the crib I can tell that she needs a diaper change. I walk over to changing table and begin to undo her diaper. I laugh as I think about the twenty diapers I went through the first time I tried to change her before Ana came in and took pity on me. Cleaning her up and putting a new one on, I move to the rocking chair and sit with her in my arms.
What would Elizabeth feel as she got older? Would she be comfortable with me and her mother being together? I could only hope that not only would she be okay with me and her mother but we would have our own relationship as well. I loved her so much already that I could only hope to be a father figure one day in her life. Maybe as time went on and Ana and I established our lives together that is something we could talk about.
"What do you think princess? Do you think I'm good enough for you mama?" I coo as I lay her on my chest. Rocking back I forth I see her beautiful little eyes begin to close and know she's going back to sleep.
"I promise to take care of you both Lizzy no matter how this ends between us." I knew I was talking to myself but just saying it aloud was all I needed to realize I was falling hard for Ana. I would even say that I was forming... love in my heart for her. I definitely wasn't at the point to be in love but I knew I loved her all the same. And any woman that could worm her way in to my heart was a woman worth keeping.
Putting her back in the crib I walk right back to Ana's room. Seeing her curled on her side I walk towards the bed and lay beside her. Holding her back to my chest I nuzzle in to her hair and fall into the most peaceful sleep I've had in years.
Here ya go! Tell me what you think! next chapter coming soon.