Chapter Twenty-Five
It was time Moongaze made her choice, would she stay with HIT or would she leave with Prime's team? Her friend Crystal had made her choice though staying with and falling for a Decepticon was the last thing she thought she'd do. She remembered her words to Surefire at the site of the failed human experiment. "If it hurts you that much, I'll leave." Would Prime want her though he already had a medic and the best one there was so why would he need a first aider? Would Ratchet want her? "Gah!" she cried out hitting her head on the desk and putting her arms over it. Would these questions ever stop?
"You need to stay here." A voice said.
"There's nothing for me here, Ratchet." She replied not moving "and it would seem that there's nothing for me elsewhere either." She felt a hand on her shoulder and went to move but decided against it sliding her arms down to the desk in front of her.
Ratchet sighed and looked over at the mech who accompanied him seeing the sadness in his optics. He suddenly had an idea, looking back down at the femme he asked, "Is this about Skybolt?" no reply "about how he shunned your feelings even though he deeply cares for you." The medic looked and glared over at his companion.
"He says we're past being together, that we've changed. And yet I see nothing but affection in his optics when he speaks to me."
"Did you ever think that he might be afraid?" Ratchet asked looking back down at her.
"I did what I did to get him to notice me. I never expected that Surefire would fall for me, now I've lost his friendship too. Like I said there's nothing here for me." She turned her head to look at the medic "do you hate me now also?"
"I do not hate you, Moongaze." He said.
"Then you're the only one who doesn't." the Ford commented moving her head so she was looking at the desk again.
"I believe that when we met you didn't know you had feelings for Skybolt." He received a nod.
"I didn't want to ruin your career, so I left. I'm sorry, Ratchet. I knew you tried looking for me but I didn't want gossip going round about you and I. I do love you as well as Skybolt."
There was silence in the room as Ratchet composed himself. He did not expect to be so overwhelmed by her explanation of why she left all those years ago. "If Skybolt was here now, what would you say to him?" he finally asked.
"What does it matter, he'd never believe me. We're 'past' each other." She replied.
"What would you say?" the ambulance pushed.
Moongaze sighed, "I would tell him how much he meant to me. How I fell for him the moment I saw him again and tried to get him to see me more than just the team's first aider. How I'd…" she stopped not wanting to reveal her inner most feelings.
"Gaze?" Ratchet prompted giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
"I can't say it, Ratchet, I-I can't. It's just too painful knowing it'll never come true."
The ambulance knew what she wanted to say and it pained him that she did not want that with him but they had never let their feelings grow like with Skybolt. "You want to be with him forever." He said trying desperately to keep his voice level and not break at his sadness.
"Yes." The Ford whispered.
"Then perhaps you should look up." The medic told her a little humour in his voice. The femme stayed where she was. He positioned himself so he could gently lift her head from the desk and look at the mech straight in front of her.
Moongaze's optics widened when she saw the very mech they had been talking about. She stood to run only to have Ratchet grab her arm. "Lemme go, lemme go." She pleaded as she tried to get out of his grip.
"Moongaze." Skybolt finally said. He saw the femme freeze and slowly and look at him before resuming to get her 'freedom' with renewed vigour. He walked over and stood in front of her, "why did you not tell me this?"
Moongaze stopped trying to release her arm and looked away from both mechs. "What difference would it have made? You never saw me other than a first aider, other than a teammate."
"I…" Skybolt began to say. He went to touch her only to stop and walk out.