Push and Pull
The Loss
Disclaimer: I own literally nothing.
Katara's POV
Katara had tried hard not to show Aang how disappointed she'd been when Avatar Roku had told them that they couldn't go back to the physical world.
She'd known that Aang knew very little about the Spirit World, and that he'd only crossed over to it twice before they'd come to the North Pole, but somehow she'd let herself hope that he could take them back; she'd thought that if anyone could help them with Spirit World troubles, it was the Avatar. That belief was what had let her put up with Zuko's bad attitude throughout their search with a measure of optimism, even though treating him like a friend was easier said than done. He'd been unpleasant and rude, but his desire to go back to the physical world was enough that he'd cooperated with her. So she'd been more than a little let down to discover that they couldn't go back.
Katara had wanted to act out like Zuko, and demand to know why they were stuck here doing nothing while an invasion was going on back in the physical world. She wanted to protest against Aang going back to the physical world and leaving her here with Zuko, whose temper would surely only get worse as time went on. She wanted Aang to stay here and help them until they could all go back. But at the first mention of spirits being in trouble, she knew she couldn't. It was Aang's duty to maintain the balance between the spirit and the mortal world, and she knew she couldn't stand in the way of that just because she wanted to go home. She couldn't keep him from his duties, or keep the Northern Water Tribe from the Avatar, all because she wanted to help them fight, all because she was worried about Sokka. So she'd swallowed her protests, put on a smile, and told him that it was alright, that she understood. It wasn't the first time she'd had to put aside her own wants and needs for Aang's sake, but she would never resent him for it. She knew it had to be done, and she would do it as long as the Avatar needed her to.
What she really didn't get though, was why Zuko had stopped fighting them. Katara knew firsthand the type of temper he had, and had expected him to explode once he realized that Aang couldn't help them. She'd even expected him to try and capture Aang and stop him from going back, since he had none of the constraints that she had about keeping him here, but Zuko had barely put up a fight. Aang and Zuko's exchange was made even more confusing by Aang's revelation that Zuko had once saved him from Zhao. When had that happened?
"We should turn in for the night," Zuko said gruffly beside her, pulling her out of her thoughts. "The sun already set back in our world. Days and nights don't seem to work the same way here as they do there."
That didn't surprise her; she'd felt the moon beginning to rise while they were on the way back to the swamp, but she'd wondered if she'd just been imagining it, since the sky in the spirit world had shown no sign of darkening. Even now she could feel the moon hanging high in the sky back in the physical world, full and powerful, while the Spirit World looked the same as it had when she'd woken up that morning. "Maybe they don't have a sun or moon spirit here," Katara suggested, and peeked up at him out of the corner of her eyes.
He was standing a few meters away from her, kicking at the water pooled around his legs, making soft splashes in the otherwise quiet swamp. Wisps of fog floated around him as it drifted across the surface of the swamp, blending into the gray of his snowsuit. "Maybe."
Katara had noticed the change from his usual armor into the snowsuit when he'd appeared back at the Spirit Oasis, but hadn't paid much attention to it until now. Looking at him from afar, Katara thought he looked a little smaller, a little less threatening without the metal plates adorning his chest and shoulders. The gray of the snowsuit brought out the pallor of his pale skin, and made the small cuts and bruises on his face stand out.
"Are you sure you don't want me to heal you?" she offered, and wasn't surprised when he looked up at her with a scowl on his face. "Alright, alright."
Zuko turned and began to stomp through the water toward the platform, splashing loudly. "We can look for water and food in the morning," he said without looking at her. "Let's sleep for now."
Katara cleared her throat noisily. "Actually, there was something I wanted to try," she called as he stepped onto the platform, following after him.
Zuko stopped and turned his golden eyes on her as she stepped onto the platform. "What?"
Katara led him further onto the landing before turning and bending a stream of water from the swamp into a small pool on the platform between them. "I was thinking that we might be able to make our own clean water," she explained, pointing down at the pool of water between them. "If you use your firebending to heat up the swamp water enough, I can use my waterbending to gather the steam up as clean water." She'd been pondering the idea since that morning but had hoped that they could leave the swamp before thirst became an issue.
His brow furrowed, and he stared down at the swamp water before nodding. "It should be drinkable, but you'll have to freeze it after so it's cool enough to drink."
"Okay," she said, and shuffled back a little as he held his palms up in front of him, angled down to the pool of water. "Careful not to set the wood on fire. Or me."
He shot her a dirty look and Katara flinched as a controlled but powerful burst of fire shot to life from his hands and licked at the water. A wave of heat flew into her face, whipping her hair and clothes back, but none of the flames came near her. It took only a few seconds before the water stated to bubble and boil under the steady stream of fire, and Katara began to bend the wisps of steam that floated out. She was able to gather a sizable amount of water from the steam before the swamp water pool grew too small and Zuko had to stop his fire.
Katara slowly swirled the handful of water she'd collected between them, scrutinizing it carefully. It was clear in color, thankfully clean of the green-ish tint that the swamp water had. The leftover water pooled at their feet was darker in color, seemingly saturated with whatever they had managed to remove from the clean water.
"I think it worked," she said, and quickly crystalized the water into ice before letting it turn back into liquid. Katara pulled a small stream away from the clean water and guided it into her mouth. It was icy cold as it went down her throat, but it tasted clean and refreshing. "It definitely worked," she told Zuko with a smile, and moved the rest of the water towards his mouth.
He stared as it neared him and glanced at Katara in disbelief.
"What?"
A muscle jumped in his jaw, but he just shook his head, dutifully opening his mouth to swallow it. She held back a smile at his expression as he tasted the icy water, and he glanced up at her, unimpressed.
Katara shrugged innocently. "It was your idea to cool it down."
"At least we won't die of thirst," Zuko muttered as she bended the leftover water on the platform back into the swamp. "I'll keep watch for a few hours while you sleep." He moved across the landing to the other side, putting a small distance between them. "We'll look for food in the morning."
"I don't think we need to keep watch," Katara said as she pulled the water from her wet clothes and shoes and sent it flowing back into the swamp. She knew better than to offer to do the same to Zuko. "We'll be sleeping in daylight, and Avatar Roku said he wouldn't let anything happen to us."
Zuko didn't reply, and obstinately lowered himself to the ground, crossing his legs under him. He sat with his back to her, looking out over the swamp and into the trees.
"You were the one who wanted to sleep," she reminded him, and then sighed. "Fine. Wake me up when you want to trade off."
He didn't reply, and Katara settled down onto the platform and curled up on her side, keeping her back to him. She closed her eyes against the light of the sky, shuffling to get comfortable against the hard wooden ground.
She was used to sleeping outside and camping out on the ground with Aang and Sokka, but found that the ground was pretty unbearable without the company of her brother and friends. Katara suddenly felt an ache in her chest at the thought of her brother and friends. She couldn't help wishing that Sokka was here with her too, away from the Fire Nation siege and safe by her side. She couldn't help remembering how Sokka had volunteered for some sort of dangerous mission to infiltrate the Fire Nation troops, and she wondered if it had already taken place, if Sokka had gone with them, if Sokka had come back.
Aang won't let anything happen to Sokka, she told herself fiercely, hugging herself closer. Even if he has to go and save some spirits, he'll still protect Sokka. She winced. But who would protect Aang?
Katara shook her head and forced herself to think about something else, anything else that wouldn't drive her insane with worry. She focused on the quiet of the swamp, calm and soothing without the tittering of the birds, which she thought were probably sleeping too. She felt a light breeze on her skin, and soaked up the sunlight that fell on her cheeks. She listened to the gentle swaying of the water around her, lulling and inviting her to a peaceful sleep. It was sweet, and silent, and restful.
Katara felt utterly alone.
Well, I'm not completely alone, she amended, thinking of Zuko sitting somewhere behind her, stubbornly keeping watch for spirits out to harm them. She could picture him in his gray snowsuit, probably burning up in the warm climate of the Spirit World, marked with those cuts and bruises on his face that he refused to let her heal. The thought of him now was so different from the picture of him she usually carried in her head: an angry firebender sheathed in the menacing red and black armor of the Fire Nation, surrounded by the soldiers from his metal ship.
She was troubled at how easily she could think to sleep while having him at her back now, when they'd been fighting each other just yesterday. Katara remembered the despair she'd felt the moment she'd heard his voice back in the Spirit Oasis, the anger and dismay that always overwhelmed her whenever he found them. She thought about his mocking words, the heat of his fire as he sent a barrage of flames at her, and the desperation with which he always tried to capture the Avatar. She remembered the burning determination she'd felt when she'd tried to protect Aang, and the triumph she'd felt when she had held her own against him. Katara thought about all these things with her enemy at her back, and before she knew it, she was dreaming.
She was back at the Spirit Oasis, standing in the waters of the Spirit Pond, her body and limbs light and weightless. She couldn't feel the lapping of the water around her knees, or the warmth of the air on her skin as she gazed up at the airbender meditating at the edge of the pond.
This feels different, Katara thought. Dreaming doesn't feel like this.
Aang was sitting cross-legged on the grass, his hands pulled together as he meditated. His eyes and tattoos were glowing a burning blue, signifying his passage into the Spirit World, but Katara thought he seemed to be looking right at her. Katara moved to reach out to him before hearing the crackle of ice forming somewhere off to her left.
Katara turned her head and watched in amazement as she saw a figure dressed in the blue dress of the Southern Water Tribe facing off against a figure in gray, an angry looking scar marking his left eye.
That's me! Katara thought, and watched as the girl pulled water from the Spirit Pond to spin an enormous sphere around the boy with the scar, encasing him in a frozen prison. I'm fighting Zuko.
The boy looked at the girl with blazing golden eyes, and spoke through the icy wall harshly. "You little peasant," he said, and the frozen ball of ice began to turn a startling red. "You've found a master, haven't you?"
Katara jerked back as the enormous sphere suddenly shattered, sending fragments of ice scattering throughout the Oasis. The boy emerged from the sphere in a firebending stance, sending a burst of fire toward the girl before Katara could blink. The girl pulled a wave of water up in front of her to block it, and dodged another burst that he sent her way. She sent stream after stream of water to knock the boy off of his path, but the boy sidestepped them easily, advancing on the girl. He sent a volley of fire blasts at the girl, and managed to circumvent her to reach Aang when she moved to deflect them.
The boy's fingers had just brushed Aang's collar before Katara felt a sudden, devastating tug in the pit of her stomach. She gasped as the tug in her stomach swiftly pulled her body forward, dragging it towards the body of the girl. They collided with a crash and Katara felt the weight return to her limbs, almost falling to her knees at the sudden heaviness of her body. Her senses came back to her in a rush and she could suddenly feel the warmth of the air on her skin, and the chill of the water on her wet clothes.
Katara opened her eyes in shock just as the boy caught hold of Aang's collar. Every thought in her head disappeared as the instinct to protect took over, and with a cry, Katara raised her arms to send a blast of water at the boy.
The boy flinched in front of her, but watched with wide eyes as the water refused to move under her flying hands, laying still on the grass in front of her. Katara inhaled sharply in surprise and moved her body once again, willing the water to lift and flow towards the boy. When the water remained still, she sucked in a shocked breath.
I can't bend, she thought and lifted her horror-struck eyes to the boy, who had grasped the Avatar's motionless body in his hands. Katara could only watch as the boy pulled Aang across his back, the fire of victory lighting up his golden eyes. He raised a fist and punched a blast of fire towards her, and she felt the heat of the air strike her skin before her body was enveloped in flames.
Katara woke up with a gasp. Through the quiet of the swamp, she heard the rush of blood in her ears, and the pounding of her heart.
No, she thought. It can't be.
Behind her, Zuko jumped up at the sound, but she barely noticed him as she scrambled to her feet and ran to the edge of the platform.
"Katara?"
She ignored him and stumbled to a stop at the edge of the landing, raising her arms in front of her. Part of her knew she'd only been dreaming, but the rest of her panicked. The rest of her knew. She shifted her weight into a simple waterbending stance and moved to pull the water up into a wave.
Nothing happened.
She heard Zuko come up behind her, and gritted her teeth, fighting the burning in her eyes. She lifted her arms, and willed the water to rise, to ripple, to move, anything.
Nothing.
"No," she said through her teeth, and jumped into the water, her splash crashing through the quiet of the swamp. She twisted arms over her body and pulled at the water with every form she could think of, growing more and more desperate with every one that failed. Katara searched for the power of the moon in her body, the draw of the water, the singing in her blood. Instead, she found an emptiness that made her feel hollow and sick.
"Katara!" she heard him yell behind her, and she shuddered at the sound of his voice. He was the boy from her dream, the one who burned her and stole Aang. "What happened?"
Katara fell to her knees in the water, unable to hold herself up any longer. "My bending," she said. "It's gone."
Can I get a 'dramatic much?' wut wut
So I have a question: I rated this story T because I was paranoid about rating it wrong and then scarring some poor kid for life or whatever, but I'm wondering if I can lower it to maybe a K+. What do you think?
(fun fact: the reason Zuko is so set on keeping watch is because he wonders if Koh will randomly show up and steal their faces)
So many thanks to the people who reviewed (SO many) because I had set a goal to have this up two days go and then was feeling pretty shitty because I didn't meet that goal, and your reviews saved me from a downward spiral. Seriously.
Avatar Roxas: your reviews always make me smile :) thank you! btw when I was trying to write this chapter, I actually wrote Avatar Roxas once instead of Avatar Roku, can you believe it? I think it was right after I saw your review, haha. I need to sleep more lol
DylPicklezz: I think Zuko's super cute too :P I wish I could make him more embarrassed and stuff just because I like it, but he doesn't seem like the type haha. I hope you like this chapter!
Flutterby Rose: thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much :3 I think Zuko is pretty hard too! Sometimes, I have to imagine Dante Basco saying what I wrote in Zuko's voice before I can be like, 'yes, okay, this works, thank god.'
Guest who thought the beginning of the story was a little scary: I'm so sorry for not responding to you earlier! Thank you for your review :) The beginning is kind of creepy now that I think about it... o.0
Guest who enjoyed monkey sage's appearance: You seem like the type of person who would understand my sense of humor! Haha, thank you so much for the feedback! It's a huge help to know I'm on the right track with these two characters :)
Reviews are much appreciated! (and make me very happy :P )