Phil was released three days later, his insurance covered all payments. The verdict was giving to Mr. Butler's death: Mr. Butler caused his own death and no one was at fault. The family was outraged and hurt but left no further comments to the media. Only his daughter, who was older than Dan and Phil, spoke. She had dried tears on her cheeks as she said "I am deeply sorry for my father's behavior and I hope he is repenting, wherever he is now."
Phil decided to spend his time trying out YouTube with his laptop's webcam instead of pacing hole into his bedroom floor, waiting for Dan to be released. Phil made a video every week, mostly talking about his life up to this point, and the support he got from people, mostly girls, that didn't know him was staggering.
Another month dragged by until Dan was released. Butler's daughter, Jill, ignored her mother's objections and paid for Dan's entire bill with the money that she received from her father's will. She told Dan she hoped she could start to attempt to apologize for her father. Dan was amazed that a lowly man like Butler was could have a wonderful daughter like Jill.
Phil came home from an interview at a computer repair shop one day to find Dan waiting for him.
Dan was outside Phil's flat with Louise. Dan was smoking his one cigarette for the day and Louise was standing in the opposite of the wind so the smoke wouldn't blow in her face. Phil stood across the street watching them. His flat mate talking to his… Phil didn't know what Dan was to him. His best friend, something more? Phil was unsure.
"So why do you smoke?" Louise asked as a particularly strong breeze blew the smoke into her face. Dan bite on his cigarette then let his arm fall and let the cigarette slip through his fingers.
"I smoke because…" Dan began but trailed off, unsure of the answer.
"I hear smoking relieves stress but everyone has their own reason." Louise babbled until she spotted Phil coming from across the street. "Phil!" Louise yelled and waved in happiness at the sight of him. Dan turned and smiled widely, letting go of what breathe and smoke was left in his lungs. Phil just grinned and waved awkwardly in response.
"Hi." Phil greeted when he reached his friends.
"Hello." Dan replied with a small dilation in his eyes.
"Hey." Louise was about to gush with a series of questions but felt she was wanted anywhere but here. "I'll be upstairs." She said instead, then turned and left Dan and Phil alone.
"I'm proud of you." Dan stated again, he had been telling Phil since Zachary was convinced and sent to prison, with a life sentence. Others had come forward telling their stories of Zachary's abuse.
"You already said that." Phil noted.
"It's only because it's true." Dan grinned, opening a container of Tic Tacs and shaking three into his mouth before biting them.
"I'm proud of me too." Phil confessed. "I don't feel scared anymore, to be honest." Phil thought out loud. "I'm proud of you too." Phil whispered as he looked into Dan's brown eyes. Then he seemed to realize something he hadn't been able to say before. Now, he wanted to show it.
"Phil?" Dan questioned as Phil began leaning in.
"Let me try something." Phil whispered "I promise I won't hurt you."
"I know you won't." Dan agreed as he leaned in. "I won't hurt you either."
"Like you could ever hurt me." Phil muttered a second before their lips touched. It was long awaited yet tense for neither had been intimate in so long, they weren't sure how to act. Dan stood perfectly still as Phil grimaced, excepting a punch, but none came. He opened his eyes a little and saw Dan already staring back. Phil was so shocked he pulled away and began laughing.
"What's so funny?" Dan smiled as he felt giggles coming on.
"Because you look so scared!" Phil roared at how ridiculous they had been acting. Dan paused a moment before laughing too. They stopped finally and Phil whispered something he hadn't been able to pinpoint until now. "I love you." Dan looked stunned for a moment before smiling and whispering back
"I love you too." This confirmation on both sides seemed to relax them as they pulled in close. Dan wriggled his arms around Phil's waist as Phil maneuvered his arms around Dan's neck.
"I'm not afraid anymore." Phil muttered reaching out to Dan's face with his own.
"I don't think I will ever be afraid again." Dan concluded as their lips embraced properly and passionately.
But he had been afraid after that.
He had been afraid of moving in together ("Use protection." Rogan reminded when he finished helping them move in), terrified when he proposed (at the police station with cops cheering as they kissed), shaking when he said 'I do' (Rogan was Phil's best man while PJ was Dan's as they stood in the hospital where they first met), petrified when they, for the first time, slept together on their wedding night (they indeed used protection), scared when they asked to see if they could adopt (Rogan had put in a good word for them), frightened when their son ran up to them and heart broken when their son left for college. All of these terrifying things were met, seen through, and he received tremendous relief afterwards. Gratitude was what he felt he came to realize later in life as he laid next to Phil in the retirement home.
He also recalled the YouTube channel they shared, the conventions, the supporting fans from around the world. He remembered speaking at rape awareness meetings across the globe and at schools to inform the people that yes, even men can be raped, live through the hell of it, and even find love.
They were 'revolutionary' posters and newspaper clippings around their shared room declared. Their granddaughter read these with unsure awe. Had her grandfathers really did all those things? Dan and Phil looked at each other and confirmed that they sure did. It had been an amazing life and journey to share as one. They had waited until everyone had left to hold hands, suck in one last drug assisted breathe before floating away together.
Yes, it had been one hell of a live and now, this was a whole new beginning.