Here it is. Enjoy. I should tell you now, it's quite short.
I think I've found the reasons. Well, one of them.
Oblivion.
One of us doesn't see that the other is into the them, or at least cares about them. What can stop this oblivion? Nothing. Something can reveal it though. It needs to be revealed. Not for closure, but for proof. At least I'll know that I'm not just imagining everything. After all, you can't imagine chemistry. If that's what it was.
Considering the fact that the previous night had ended in awkwardness, maybe an un-awkward, oblivion-free relationship is what we needed. Knowing us, that wouldn't come easy. The Internet even says that you have to work for love; it doesn't just happen. For Austin, I was willing to work until I couldn't anymore.
This was the problem. I could never tell him that. It would be too embarrassing. It's not like he would care. Of course there's that voice in my head that keeps saying, "What if he does?" Last night, he said that I was perfect. I wanted to tell him how wrong he was, but I was too busy wondering why he said it in the first place. More importantly, if he meant it.
I didn't want to rant about it to Trish, or ask myself for hours what was happening to me. I would tackle my problems on my own.
I felt like a stranger. I felt like I was somewhere I was not supposed to be. Because I was.
Austin's doorstep.
Despite the few days I had spent here, it was like being in a foreign country and not speaking the language. Luckily, I already knew what it was like to be a fish out of water. I thought my whole life would be determined depending on whether or not I knocked on the door.
Turns out, I was being stupid and I should just open the door, so I did. "Austin?" I called. I walked around the house a little more until I found him.
There he was, sitting on his bed. "Uh, hi. I know I'm not... I shouldn't have... hi." I said, trying to find the right words to say. I definitely did not find them.
"It's okay, Ally." He looked upset. Maybe whether or not he liked me would depend on if he told me. Maybe I was paranoid. I sat down on his bed across from him.
"So... what's up?"
"Nothing." How was I supposed to work with that? He was giving me nothing to work with. The worst part was not being able to say what I was doing. Being honest with him would probably have made things easier. I'd rather have not told him what I was doing than tell him what I was feeling.
"Are you sure nothing is up?"
He stared at me. I stared back. "I'm sure." is all he said. Maybe nothing was going on. Maybe I was just paranoid. Really paranoid. "But..." he begins. "You seem like you are up to something."
"I'm... not." It felt like a lie, but I was unsure of what it really was. A lie, I tell myself. That's exactly what it was. Then again, what was I up to? I was in love with him, simply trying to see if the feeling was mutual or at least, not crazy in his mind.
Telling him was the easiest thing to do at this point. "I don't know what's happening."
"What?" he asked. It was easy to tell how confused he was.
"Austin. One of us is in love with the other, but one of us is oblivious to it. I've been trying to figure out-"
This set something off, or made. "Ally. The only one of us who is oblivious to the other being in love with them is you." he said and left his room, not angrily, but frustratedly. The dramatic exit left me even more confused. I couldn't blame him. I was frustrated with myself.
I went after him. "Wait. What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. It's not like it matters."
"It matters to me!"
He gives me that stare again. Wait, no. It's a stare he's never given me before. He looks desperate, hopeless. Like he's trying his best. And he is. " you matter to me." I shut my eyes tightly. I was simultaneously pretending this wasn't happening and keeping my tears in my eyes. I opened my eyes. I wasn't going to let my stupidity ruin this happening again. As I took a step closer, I thought about everything. The next thing I did was the thing I should have done. It was better than hurting him again. It was better than ruining my chances again.
"You matter to me, too."
I liked the plan of this chapter, but I'm not so fond of how it turned out. Oh well. Are you? Tell me what you think. (Yeah, I know it's short. Like, you can curse at me because that's how short it was...) This could be called a stupid short chapter.