Chapter 8
I awoke to screaming, not that of Ben which was my first thought but of Bella. I ran down the hall to her room and I found her sitting up breathing deeply trying to calm herself. The time on her clock read five in the morning, I had only been home for two hours. I did know if she didn't realised I was there but when I saw her look up towards me she gasped. "Bella? Are you alright?"
"Edward," She sighed almost in relief, I knew exactly who she had mistaken me for. I stood there in silence, confused at what I should do or say. So I waited. I must have been standing there for almost ten minutes before she spoke, she was so quiet I barely heard her. "I'm so scared," Was all I heard her say. My heart broke at her words. I could hear her take another breath to say something so I let her continue. "I'm scared of the future, of how can I live with these demons. I'm scared of you,"
"Bella, I know it's hard but you don't have to be afraid of me, I won't make you do anything you,"
"That's not what I meant Edward," She whispered, I was confused now. "I'm scared of what I feel for you," There was a pause in the air, I didn't want to make her feel rejected or anything like that, but I had no idea what to say. "Oh my god. I am so sorry," She said taking about her words.
"No, no. I just don't know what to say Bella," I walked closer to her, sitting on the furthest part of the bed from her.
"You are so different from him. The furthest possible person to him. He was harsh, tough, big, mean. You are none of those things. You are kind, patient, caring. Something I alway wished Jacob to be," She admitted to me, despite her messy hair and groggy eyes she still looked beautiful. Who was I kidding?
"Bella, I don't know how to say this either, but I've been lying to myself. I'm falling in love with you," I told her. She didn't say anything, I moved closer to her pressing my lips to her. She didn't move and it took me mere seconds to realised what I had done. I pulled away, running out of the room like a coward I was. Not only did I run out the room, but I ran out the house. Of course, to my luck, it was raining and here I was walking in a sheer shirt and sweatpants. At least I'd wore clothes to bed this time. I kept walking, pushing the thoughts out of my head. I didn't want to think about how much I screwed up. Kissing a girl who was untrusting of men, I knew I was wrong but why had I still done it.
The rain was soaking me, through to what felt like my bones. I had arrived at a dark park, which during the day was quite inviting, now it wasn't so. The dark used to scare me, as a kid I was upset when Emmett and I moved into our separate rooms because having him there made me feel better. I know the saying, Jasper says it quite a bit, children are afraid of the dark not because of the lack of light, but because of the lack of sight. Now I really understood the quote. Looking around the silhouettes of trees did not scare me, but the shadows covering the ground and the areas around the trees were daunting. I wasn't a child though, I didn't run around in fear, I simple walked right into it.
When I was younger there was this night, when it was storming that I had a horrible dream. It was of Zombies over running my house, of course I couldn't sleep afterwards. I sat there awake for awhile trying to read or do something but the feeling of dread wouldn't leave me alone. There I heard footsteps down the hall and before I could think the worst a voice called me. "Eddie, are you still awake?" Alice asked me, she came in the door, herself only being five or six. I invited her in and we sat on the bed together. Both of us unable to sleep.
"Did you have a bad dream Ali-cat?" She nodded and I didn't know what to tell her, consider I too was scared. "Why don't we sleep back to back, then we have the whole room in view and nothing can get us?" I suggested to her, and she did as I asked. That was later how our mother found us, lying back to back fending off monsters.
There was no Alice here this time to ward off monsters with me, there are two similarities between then and now, that is my demons are all in my head. I wanted to help Bella, I really did. I never wanted her to think I only wanted to help her for my own selfish reasons but now that might be exactly what she thinks. Without a phone or a key, I didn't know what to do. I look around the street, after having wandered through the park I was a lot further away than I had thought. I headed to the closest place I knew on this street. Walking quickly through the rain before finding the stone stairs that led to the house that I knew. Ringing the doorbell a few times I waited. I could hear movement as someone approached the door.
"Edward?" Rosalie asked, she quickly let me in, tossing me a towel as she did. I tried to warm myself up as she passed me a warm mug of tea. "It's Bella isn't it?" I nodded simple as Rosalie sighed. She sat down as well, waiting for me to warm up and talk to her.
"I kissed her," Rosalie didn't seem all that surprised, neither did she seem angry.
"I thought there was a problem?" She asked raising her eye brows. This happened to be why I loved Rosalie, her bluntness never ceased to amaze me.
"That is the problem Rose. She isn't ready for this, she was just telling me how much her feelings for me scared her," Rosalie looked angry now.
"Who are you to assume what she feels Edward? Maybe she is ready, maybe she isn't, that is not your decision to make for her. I know you are trying Edward, and you really do care about her but do not treat her like a vase you are afraid to break. Ask her what she wants talk to her like a normal human being. Of course she is afraid, she might not even understand real love, or at least she hasn't felt it from Jacob. It is not your job to protect her," Rosalie growled at me.
"But she," Rosalie didn't let me continue.
"There is no but Edward. Ask her what she wants and listen to her. She does not need you to coddle her, help her understand what you want so she can decide for herself," I understood what she meant and of course she was right. We fell into a silence, there was nothing left to say in that conversation. "Let me get you some of Emmett's clothes," She said finally and I realised how cold I still was.
"Where is Emmett?" I realised our talking had not stirred anyone.
"He was finishing packing up his house and stayed so late that he just slept over there," She told me simply. I felt bad for crashing at her house since my brother wasn't even home. She tossed me the clothes, and I quickly changed the shirt so I could get warmer. "I don't have an extra bed so you'll have to crash on the couch," Then my sister-to-be left me and somehow left me feeling both better and worse about the Bella situation.
The door slammed shut and I knew it had to be none other than my brother. "Emmett I told you to be quiet," Rosalie told him off quietly, I smiled at the antics of the couple.
"If Eddie want's to crash at our house then he will be awaken as I please," Emmett bellowed out, I rolled my eyes but of course he could not see it.
"Edward, not Eddie," I growled at him, I could hear Rosalie laughed a little in the background as Emmett bounded over to me.
"Trouble in paradise big bro?" Emmett laughed, I finally shook myself awake and sat up. "Too bad not everyone can have someone as awesome as Rosie," Emmett said moving over to kiss his fiancee. I stretched myself awake, not even bothering to do anything about my mop of hair.
"Shut up," I growled at him, my brother never ceased to have enough energy to annoy me.
"Fine fine. What would you like for breakfast, grumpy king?" Emmett asked me, he was heading over to start some breakfast.
"Eggs and cheese?" I responded, he nodded as he began making breakfast. I went over to sit at the kitchen table and Rosalie joined me.
"You got work today?" She asked, as she began to flip through a newspaper.
"No, had an overnight shift until three last night," I told her, she nodded and raised her eyebrows.
"Good, then you have all day to figure out what to say to Bella," Rosalie was right on that one, and then I realised Bella probably had no idea where I was. I hit the table in realisation and Emmett spun around.
"I already told her," Rosalie said simply, I knew she meant she told Bella where I was last night.
"Jesus Eddie," I ignored Emmett's stupid nickname for me this time.
"Also, she's at work with Alice," Rosalie always knew what to tell me and when.
"Did she say anything about me?" I dared to ask Rosalie, Rosalie looked at me with piercing blue eyes.
"Not anything I am going to discuss with you," She said bluntly, Emmett decided then was a good time to pass me some food. "When are you leaving for work Em?" Emmett works as a sports teacher at a local school, I don't know who let him near children but they did.
"In ten minutes," He passed Rosalie a plate of food as well. The food was good, unsurprisingly. Somehow Emmett became the good cook of the family.
"Don't worry I'll leave with Emmett," I told Rosalie, she nodded but said nothing.
"So what really happened last night?" Emmett asked as he finally put his own food on the table. I looked to Rosalie and she tilted her head.
"Edward had a bit of an overreaction to what happened between Bella and him," Rosalie said for me, it was a bit embarrassing but she was right. "He will solve it though," Emmett quickly finished his food and we getting ready to leave. He said goodbye to Rosalie for the day and we headed off together. He started up his car before asking me.
"Where to Edward?" He asked, I sighed.
"I might as well go see what Bella and Alice are up to," I told him, he nodded simply. We drove in silence for awhile, no one speaking. "How did you do it Emmett? How did you get Rosalie's trust?" It was a question I'd been to ask him for a longtime.
"Patience and love," I had never heard my brother so serious about something. "It isn't easy Edward but if you really care you won't mind that its hard," I didn't need to ask him anymore before he dropped me off in front of Alice's shop. "Don't screw this up Edward," He said before driving away. I sighed, if only I knew how not to screw up. I looked up at the store, it was amazingly decorated which I'm sure was helped by Esme. It had a pale blue and white theme, that run throughout. The front wall completely made of glass but was covered by mannequins showing off Alice's styles. What I loved about Alice's fashion is that it caters to both sexes, but that also meant she enjoyed making me wear some. I took a step indoors and the bell alerted someone to my presences.
"Edward," Jasper greeted me. He was tinkering around with the camera in his hand, that made me wonder if Alice was making Bella do some modelling. I looked around, curious to see where the girls had gone. "They are in the back," Jasper said simply. Jasper was never one for talking so I just waited, the girls were taking a long time.
"Hi Edward!" Ben called from behind the desk, he was preoccupied playing on one of those pinball machines. I waved at him and he went straight back to his game.
"Did something happen?" My eyes flicked to Jasper, he still had his back turned to me, I didn't understand what he meant. "Between you and Bella?" I wonder if Bella had said anything.
"How do you know that? Did she say something?" I asked him curiously. Jasper was very similar to Rosalie, quiet and calculating but not rude. Well Rosalie could be very rude I was sure if she tried. Jasper was always a good match for Alice, cooling Alice's hot energy.
"She didn't say anything, I can just tell," He said, I nodded not doubting that Jasper did have some incite to people.
"Something happened last night," Jasper nodded but turned to me this time.
"If you ever need to talk, I'm here," Jasper despite being a company lawyer took a minor in psychology, an interesting degree to say the least. I could hear Alice now, her loud voice from behind the walls.
"You look fine!" Alice growled, most likely to Bella. I didn't hear Bella's response but I could heard Alice's. "No one cares honestly, you look good," Alice said, I could hear them getting closer. Then I saw Bella, dressed in a familiar outfit of Alice's. It was a simple white top, with beading along the collar but it was sheer, paired with dark skinny jeans and high heels Bella looked stunning. She saw me then and froze, I didn't know what to say. "Edward, nice of you to join us. You can help me hold the reflectors," Alice not skipping a beat pushed Bella towards their little set up. Jasper handed me the reflector and I was directed where to hold it. Bella looked uncomfortable next to me, twiddling with the end of the shirt.
"Edward!Angle it up," Alice barked at me and I followed my sister's command.
"You looked great Bella," I whispered to her, she stopped fiddling with her shirt then and looked at me her eyes soft.
"Bella, come on pose," Alice snapped, Bella rolled her eyes quickly at me. I was surprised that Bella knew how to model, and then I remembered where she used to work. "The shoes as well," Bella listened and manoeuvred to bring the shoes into the picture. I could hear Jasper clicking away at the camera. "To the left a step Edward," Jasper clicked on, he whispered something after and the clicking stopped. "Looks good everyone thanks," I rested the reflector on the backdrop as Bella went to get changed.
"Edward?" Bella called softly, she was still in the changing room so I walked over. "Can you help me unzip the shirt?" The sheer shirt unzipped from the top down to the middle of her back. As I slowly inched it down more of her thin back was exposed. I practically held my breath as I unzipped it, holding myself back.
"There it's done," I replied, I backed out of the room.
"Thank you," She whispered. I knew we needed to talk, but I didn't know what to say to her. I ran my hand through my hair, tugging it gently.
"Take her to lunch and talk it through," Alice said, I had no idea my sneaky sister was even behind me. I nodded, Alice was probably right, I should just talk to her. When Bella came out in her normal jeans and a shirt I got ready to ask her.
"Are you hungry? Ready for lunch?" She nodded quickly but flicked her eyes to where Ben was sitting. I remembered we still had the boy here.
"He can stay here, I have some sandwiches in the fridge for the three of us," Jasper told Bella, she smiled at him.
"Thank you, if he causes any trouble just call me," Jasper nodded, they gave each other a look before Bella and I left and wondered what that was about.
"Where would you like to go?" I asked her, she shrugged so I walked towards where I knew there was a little diner.
(A bit slow but you'll have to live until some action happens!)