Chapter 9

We sat there, both have had ordered but still have said nothing. I knew I needed to start but I just froze up, what could I say.

"If you didn't want me you didn't have to prove a point by kissing me and then running away," She hissed, it was one of the first time I had heard her angry. My face must've looked like a kicked puppy because she soften when she saw my expression.

"I didn't," I paused struggling on what to say. "That's not what I meant for you to think, I swear to you," She looked skeptically but said nothing while she waited for me to continue. "I didn't think you were ready. I now know that I shouldn't have presumed what you wanted," Bella's eyes softened now, as she sighed as well.

"Why did you run?" She brought it up again, I was honestly ashamed of myself.

"I don't know Bella, I just panicked I guess. I didn't trust myself," She looked at me then and I just wished I could hear what she was thinking. Then her face shifted to sadness, I tried to put my hand on hers just to comfort her but as I did she moved it away.

"Edward you know I am trying to trust you but it's hard," She took a deep breath. "I want to try something with you, but we should take it slowly, alright?" I smiled at her idea.

"That sounds perfect Bella," She then touched my hand gently right as our food arrived and I knew it meant a lot to her. We ate in silence for awhile, just enjoying each others company. "Alice's is opening up her shop tomorrow, so I'll be working there quite a lot of days. I was wondering about options for Ben while I'm working," I was glad she even asked me about that, she was including me.

"Well whenever I'm home I can take him obviously and you can take him to work sometimes like Alice said. I usually work day shifts on Tuesday's and Thursday's. Why don't you look up some day cares in the arena? It might be for him to meet some other kids," I suggested, she smiled at the idea.

"Yeah I will, thank you for everything Edward," I knew what she meant but it still felt strange her thanking me since what was I meant to do? Just leave her? I wasn't that type of person.

"Do you have enough stuff for Ben? Do you need anything?" She shook her head but it was too quickly for her to have actually thought about it. "Bella please don't worry about the money,"

"But you've done and spent so much on me already," Her eyes were sad but I would't let her feel like this.

"Bella please," She looked at me and must've realised how serious I was this time.

"I mean we don't need anything but I'm sure he would love some toys, I've never be able to afford him cool toys," I was thinking about where I could take him.

"Why don't I take him when you go to work tomorrow? Would he be okay with that?" Bella smiled, I was so glad to see her happy these days.

"Edward, he loves you. I'm sure he would love to go out and do stuff with you," I hoped it was true and Ben really did like me. I realised how close us three had gotten, considering everything that happened. I knew I wanted something to happen between Bella and I but I wasn't going to rush anything. I had a plan on what I wanted to do. Just because of our situation didn't mean I really knew her so I was going to take her on dates. They weren't going to be fancy but most certainly fun. I was going to enlist Ben to see if he could tell me anything about his mom that would help me. Then my phone rang, it was the nurse's station. Before I could even say hello Jessica was talking.

"I have news," She sounded, not so much panicked but just urgent.

"What? What's wrong?" I didn't want to think about the worst possible scenario but I couldn't help it.

"There's a lung for Elisabeth," That's all I need to hear, Bella looked at me wide-eyed.

"I'll be there in 15 minutes max, ask Carlisle if Dr Curie can preform the surgery," I told the nurse before I hung up. Bella didn't seem to need to ask so I threw money on the table and we walked quickly out the door. I needed to head back to the shop to grab one of the cars, it was too long of a walk. Bella still didn't say anything, when we got to the shop I tried to find Jasper. "Can you drive me to the hospital?"He felt the tension and the room so he just nodded.

"Call me Edward, please," I nodded to Bella before I ran off with Jasper. While I was glad there was a lung available, I knew I wouldn't make it in time for the surgery but I still wanted to be there to oversee. It would be a long surgery and I knew Elisabeth's parents wouldn't make it in time for her waking up so I would be there.

"How bad is it?" Jasper asked me, I knew he was driving as fast as he could but I was impatient.

"Not bad," He waited for me to continue. "One of my teenage patients will be going into surgery for a lung transplant, her parents won't be able to make it so I'll oversee her,"

"Do you need anything? I'm assuming you'll be there awhile,"

"I'll be there until she is stabilised, which should hopefully be early tomorrow morning at the latest, so maybe someone can drop off some clothes tonight?" Jasper nodded, he pulled up into the hospital drive nearest my ward. "Thank you so much," I yelled as I began to jog into the hospital, I had to pull up some ID on my phone to flash to some nurses before I came to the prep room for surgeries. Elisabeth hadn't gone under yet, I checked her board before making my way to her. Dr Curie was doing her surgery so I was glad. Elisabeth took one look at my normal clothes and looked confused. "I'm not doing your surgery, but the doctor that is I know is very good," She nodded, she wasn't her usual self and I could tell she was scared.

"When will my family get here?" It said on the board but I knew she would be disappointed.

"The earliest flight they could get was 6 tonight, so they'll be here a few hours after your surgery," She was a strong girl but she couldn't help her face fall at that news.

"Will you be there?" She asked me, I could tell the drug was starting to kick in finally so she would be brought into surgery in a couple minutes.

"I'll be there when you wake up, don't worry," I told her, she smiled really groggily. The nurse showed up to cart her away but Elisabeth told her to wait a second.

"Dr Cullen?" She said,looking over at me. "You look good in normal clothes," She then got carted off and the nurse winked at me jokingly and I couldn't help but laugh at Elisabeth's admission.

"Dr Cullen? Your friend is here to see you," One of the nurses called, I was in the ICU waiting for Elisabeth to wake up but I could see Alice waiting outside for me.

"Here's some clothes you asked for, did you need anything else?" My sister asked me.

"No I think I'm okay, thank you and tell Bella I'll hopefully be back no later than midnight," It was already eight and Elisabeth had been out of surgery for an hour. "My patient's going to wake up soon, so I'll see you tomorrow or something," I told Alice, she smiled and began walking out of the hospital, I left the bag outside the ICU and went back in. Elisabeth's eyes were twitching which meant she was waking up, I got the whiteboard for her to write on since she would not be allowed to talk and pressed to button for one of the ICU nurses to come over.

"Okay Elisabeth, squeeze my hand if you can hear me," The nurse said to her, the nurse smiled so Elisabeth must have done what she asked. "Good, you know what we explained to you about post-surgery, no talking, Dr. Cullen has a whiteboard for you to write on," Elisabeth's eyes cracked open at my name and I just cracked her a smile. The nurse was adjusting and checking the equipment, I felt inadequate I was very out of my element in the ICU. Elisabeth shut her eyes, her face cringe slightly probably due to nausea which was common post-surgery of any kind. Elisabeth put her hand out for the whiteboard and I passed it to. She began writing just cracking her eyes to make sure she was writing straight. She had girly but neat writing, not surprising. She flashed me the board and I laughed making the nurse look over, she peeked at the board.

You looked better in jeans.

My phone buzzed as a message rolled in, I smiled at the message and Elisabeth looked at me questioning. "Your parents landed they will be here in just over an hour," She seemed to relax at the news and I was glad it made her happy. She then wrote quickly again on the whiteboard.

You don't do ICU patients.

It was a statement but I still nodded, confused on where she was going.

Then why are you here?

"Because I care," I meant it both in a patient way and just a normal way, she was a remarkable teenager.

What about your girlfriend?

I rolled my eyes because Elisabeth knew very well that Bella was not my girlfriend. "Not my girlfriend, she's at the house,"

Your house?

She was trying to dig into my personal life which I really shouldn't go into. "Yes," I said simply, Elisabeth seemed disappointed with the lack of information out of me.

"Dr Cullen you should go and get some food or a coffee," The nurse shooed me away so she could continue some work on Elisabeth so I did. When I reached the cafe I saw a familiar blond head.

"Dad," I greeted him, he smiled at me and poured me a cup of coffee. We don't see each other too often due to working in different departments and therefore different wings of the building, other than when we met for lunch or in cafes.

"How's the patient you were watching?" He asked as we sat down together on the couches.

"Elisabeth, she just woke up and the nurse is walking her through protocol," As I started to drink my coffee I began to realise how tired I really was.

"You looked exhausted, it isn't protocol for you to stay for an organ transplant patient," I nodded, Carlisle did seem to always remember little details about my department.

"No it's not but her parents couldn't make it in time so I oversaw it," Carlisle looked at me worried and I knew what he was thinking.

"You always were too attached to your patients," He commented, he was right. I cared too much, I treat sick children, it's hard to watch some of them.

"I know Dad, I know," I said, reminiscing about all my past patients. I still remember nights when Carlisle would be called in for late night emergencies, it would happen quite often when my siblings and I were kids. He'd run off during or after dinner, sometimes while we spending time as a family. I knew he was working and he loved his job but it still hurt to have him run off instead of stay with us.

"You know deaths of kids or teenagers always hit me hard,"

There was one night he left in the middle of one of our movie nights. He got a call and then just ran off, leaving Alice and I alone. Esme and Emmett were at one of Emmett's sports event. Alice kept asking me why Dad had to leave, she asked me if he cared more about his work than us. I knew she was wrong but it still hurt to hear. We stopped watching the movie and just hung out in my room until Esme came home. Alice and I were just talking, we got over the fact that our dad had left us. We stayed up late and heard Carlisle come home at almost mid-night. We sneaked out and stood on the stairs before we heard Esme asking him what happened. He told her, his patient had died. We wondered what made this patient so special, Carlisle had patients die on him quite often and it never hit that hard. He told Esme that the patient was a teenager who got into a driving accident on the highway. He admitted to her that all he could think about was how that could have been one of his kids, one of us. Then we realised how selfish we had been to think that he cared more about his job than us.

"I remember Dad," I said, finished off my coffee. There was silence and I knew I had to say something that would comfort us both. "The goal is not to save everyone, but to save as many as you can," I said the quote I practically lived by, the one Carlisle taught me when I first told him I aspired to be a doctor. I head back to the ICU, I told Elisabeth was asleep when I approached but she cracked her eyes open when I sat down. "I would've got you food if you could eat," I told her, she nodded knowing herself she couldn't eat after such an invasive surgery. My pager buzzed, the front desk alerting me that Elisabeth's parents were heading up to us. "I'll be back in a second," I told Elisabeth as I stepped out of the ICU to meet the parents.

The arrived through the elevator, before coming towards me. Elisabeth's parents surprised me, her mom obviously coming from asian with darker skin and dark hair while her dad had pale skin and blond hair. Her mom appeared nervous while her father not so much. "It's very nice to meet you Mr and Ms Hodges, Elisabeth's surgery ended an hour and a half ago and she woke up thirty minutes ago. She seems stable for now but she will in the ICU up to a week from now," I walked them to the door as Elisabeth looked up and smiled brightly at her parents. Her mom headed to see her but her father turned to me.

"We just wanted to thank you for everything and staying with her throughout the surgery," His voice grateful and low.

"There's absolutely not problem Mr Hodges, your daughter is a remarkable girl," I told him and he just nodded looking at his daughter.

"That she is," He spoke before walking in to join his wife and daughter. Elisabeth looked at me before I turned to head home and mouthed a thanks.

(Thanks my lovely readers, something very intense 'might' happen next chapter or the next so be ready.)