Okay, so I am FINALLY back. I really should have updated, but I have been pretty busy with school. Thankfully, this is the last week and I stayed home today. This is the last chapter and I decided to actually type it. I typed it, but then I was off of FF for so long that EVERYTHING deleted after 90+ days, so... here it is. Luckily, I didn't finish it the first time, but I did have a lot of stuff I wanted to keep. *sigh* If anyone is actually still reading this, thank you, and you should probably re-read the last four-five chapters just to refresh your memory before continuing with this chapter.
The night of the talent show, I decided to find Austin. I was done turning my back on the things that actually mattered to me. While I was hopelessly searching for him, Cassidy ran towards me, shouting my name.
"Ally! Ally! I have huge news!"
"What is it?"
She gave me a wide smile before saying, "Adam Levine is in town tonight and tonight only. He's performing and signing autographs and posing with fans at Melody's Diner. His tour bus broke down or something. Isn't that huge?"
I blinked. "Are you seriously bailing on me?"
"It sounds ugly when you put it that way, but he's my idol. He's just oh-so-amazing and I've never actually seen him in person. This is my chance to meet him. I thought you'd be happy for me."
"Yeah, yeah, it's amazing, but the song is a duet. That means there are two people, Cassidy."
"I know what a duet is, Ally."
"No, I don't think you do."
"You know something? You can come with me and we can just pull out of the talent show. It's not a big deal."
"It's a big deal to me and you knew that, yet you're abandoning me."
"Adam Levine. Adam freaking Levine. I have to go before he leaves. I'll take pictures. You coming or what?"
"Or what."
Cassidy scoffed. "Ugh, whatever. So lame." She muttered as she skipped off. I heard the principal talking out on the stage about "all of our hard work" and other bullshit. I heard everyone clapping and then I heard some music. I guess someone was dancing as their talent. I stared at myself in the mirror backstage.
"What's wrong, Ally?" I looked up and saw Austin standing over my shoulder. He actually looked like he cared about me, a look I hadn't seen on his face in what felt like a long time.
"Cassidy bailed on me. We were performing a duet. And you know, it's not a big deal, honestly. I can modify it a little to where I sing it by myself, but... having her there with me, even though I barely trust her, was better then going up there all by myself. Because I'm a coward and I could never do it on my own. I'm such a..." It wasn't until Austin wiped my tears away that I realized I was crying.
"Cassidy's got a big heart, but its only got room for her."
"I know. It was stupid of me to trust her, but... I did. God, I'm so stupid."
"You're not stupid."
"Yes, I am."
"What makes you think that?"
I stared into his eyes and said, "I let you go. And you were the best thing that ever happened to me. Life has taught me to put certain people in certain boxes. And you're in this box called the LOVE box and I've tried to put you in another one for a long time, but truthfully... you've been in that box ever since you knocked my tower down in Kindergarten. I've tried really hard, but I can't put you in a different box and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I let you go when we both know I can't actually let you go."
"Ally, no, I let you go. I let you walk right out and I should have gone after you."
"But I was the one walking out when I could have and should have stayed. I can't be with you, Austin. Not because I don't love you. I love you so much that... my heart hurts and I feel sick. I love you so much that I have to push you away before I ruin it and mess it all up."
He just stares at my wet, tear-covered face. "Ally Dawson and Cassidy Stevenson are next, singing an original song, written by Ally!"
I get up and wipe my face. There are so many people. I'm surprised I didn't vomit. "Uh," When I grab the microphone, feedback goes through the room and everyone is covering their ears and rolling their eyes. "I was going to sing a song with Cassidy tonight, but... she had somewhere else to be, so... I will not be performing. I'm really sorry." I ran off the stage and the vomit finally came when I got to the nearest trash can. If I could barely tell the audience that I wasn't performing, how could I perform in front of the audience?
I rested my head on the make-up table when Austin nudged me, guitar in his hand. I must have fallen asleep. "I'm going on to perform, but I... I just wanted to tell you something."
"What?"
"You should smile more. And I love you more than pancakes." He went out to the stage before I could even respond. I walked over to the wings to watch him perform. He was already singing by the time I got to the wings.
Call me criminal
I won't deny you make me want it all,
Everything you are
So lock it up
Go on and try it
No matter what you do
I'm gonna steal your heart
I confess,
I kinda like it that you're innocent
Keeping up your guard
I'll break it down
So you can't hide it
No matter what you do
I'm gonna steal your heart
The crowd loved it and I thought it was amazing. I thought he was amazing. Everything about him.
You're a good girl
The perfect picture of an angel's smile
From a magazine
But it's a new world
And I know somewhere the side of you
No one's ever seen
He looked at me when he sang, "No one's ever seen," I took a small step out onto the stage. He stepped aside and handed me a microphone and grabbed another one on the left side of the stage. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Austin, what are you doing?"
I didn't know what he was doing, but when he started playing his guitar again, I recognized the melody.
When you're on your own
Drowning alone
And you need a rope that can pull you in
Someone will throw it
I was surprised. I got through barely a verse of a song, singing it in front of actual people.
And when you're afraid
That you're gonna break
And you need a way to feel strong again
Someone will know it
And even when it hurts the most
Try to have a little hope
That someone's gonna be there when you don't
When you don't
If you wanna cry, I'll be your shoulder
If you wanna laugh, I'll be your smile
If you wanna fly, I will be your sky
Anything you need that's what I'll be
You can come to me
You struggle inside
Losing your mind
Fighting and trying to be yourself
When somebody lets you
Out in the cold
But no where to go
Feeling like no one could understand
Then somebody gets you
So take a breath and let it go
And try to have a little hope
'Cause someone's gonna be there when you don't
When you don't
If you wanna cry, I'll be your shoulder
If you wanna laugh, I'll be your smile
If you wanna fly, I will be your sky
Anything you need, that's what I'll be
You can come to me
Like a chain that never breaks
Like a truth that never bends
Like a glue that takes a broken heart and puts it back again
It's the feeling that you get
It's the moment that you know
That no matter what the future holds
You'll never be alone
If you wanna cry, I'll be your shoulder
If you wanna laugh, I'll be your smile
If you wanna fly, I will be your sky
Anything you need, that's what I'll be
If you wanna climb, I'll be your ladder
If you wanna run, I'll be your road
If you want a friend, doesn't matter when
Anything you need, that's what I'll be
You can come to me
You can come to me,
Yeah
I had done it. It was then that I realized as long as I had him, I could do anything. It was also then that I realized I could do anything if I believed I could, as cliche as it sounds. I didn't care about the talent show or Cassidy or our past issues. I cared about being with him.
We walked out of the school, taking the back entrance. We were both talking and laughing and enjoying each other's company. "I can't believe I did that!"
"You were amazing."
I looked up at him and said, "You know something?"
"What?"
"I shouldn't say it. I don't know if I can."
"What is it?"
I sighed. "I love you more than music."
"Wow, Ally, that's a big step," he said, causing us both to laugh. He put his hand on my cheek and I stepped closer to him. "We made it. The girl I knew in October doesn't come close to the girl I know now. You've changed, for the better."
"So have you. That girl in October needed to be saved and there was a lot of medicine and therapy and counseling, but none of it helped. You did. You saved me."
"You saved me." he repeated back to me in a whisper. When his lips touched mine... okay, who am I kidding? We kissed. We kissed like we would never see each other again, like the other being there fueled the other person, and in a way, that was the truth. The whole truth. Nothing but the truth.
Somehow being the girl with Austin made everyone think I was cool all of a sudden. I didn't care and neither did Austin. Senior year was starting to be fun and I made a lot of new friends.
I couldn't stop wondering what would happen after we graduated, but I knew that worrying would prevent me from stopping and smelling the roses. I smelled them and they smelled fantastic. Everyone's like, "Well, no shit. They're roses." That's because they've already gotten to smell the roses. Good for them. But nowadays, nothing is stopping me from doing all that I should have done and all that I can do.
Plus, it really doesn't matter what happens after graduation. Because right now, I've got the run to my road, the laugh to my smile, the climb to my ladder, but most importantly, the shoulder that will be there for the cry.
If I ever get sad, I find Austin and I say, "You should smile more."
Well, was that so hard? No and it's like way overdue. If you're still out there, please review and tell me what you think. How'd you like the story overall? How was it out of ten? I'm open to constructive critiscism. I plan to write another A&A story this summer, but that will definitely be AFTER I edit this one. I know that I should edit it, but I know me and I know that I probably will make it to chapter five and get tired and never finish editing. I will be back sometime this summer, which may be good news or bad news to you. Anyway, goodbye! You guys were/are so great and I'm so sorry that I didn't update!