Author's Note:
To any old fans and/or readers who may have skipped straight to this chapter, (first of all thank you for the support and sorry for vanishing for so long) I have completely rewritten this entire story adding some 2,500 plus words to the work, so you might want to go back and reread it.
Sleep was difficult to come by. At most I managed a few short naps throughout the night, but even then those weren't restful. In truth I was terrified of slipping back into a dream world harried with memories darker than any nightmare. I tried talking to Oliver again periodically, but it was clear that he intended to follow protocol after his momentary lapse in judgment. Invaded by cynicism, I couldn't help but wonder if it was due to the nature of my injuries that the lapse had even occurred in the first place. When this failed and sleeping seemed impossible as it was in the middle of my waking hours I paced the cell until my weary and corrupted body could walk no longer.
My entire form had a dull ache that settled deep into each and every muscle, my face burning where the tissue wasn't already dead. From the wall opposite my bed however, I found that I could see the night sky through the window, and that gave me some peace. The heavens were a mesmerizing deep violet-blue with a glittering ribbon of stars running and twisting across its face.
It was almost with that sense of romanticism that I sank to the floor, wincing at a twinge of pain, the balm Elixa had used to numb the sutures beginning to wear off. Ignoring it, I closed my eyes imagined the night. It would cool and crisp, or at least I would want it to be. A stiff breeze would be racing through the trees, the kind that makes them sing mournful songs and tussles your hair adding just the right amount of resistance to your wings to make you feel alive with effort. It would be a night where I could work uninterrupted surrounded by my beautiful, and deadly growing things, long into the morning hours.
If I rested quietly I found that I could picture it well enough, smile at it even, at the imagined wind on my face. It was almost euphoric, a haven unto myself, but then, as if preordained by the cosmos, something would remind me of the truth, a pain, a scent, the warm stillness of the air in the hollow tree's nook. Inactivity was the enemy, it always had been, but my mind was reeling, buzzing with life, my stillness began to fill me with an inadequacy my current position had yet to touch.
I tried to hold onto the images for as long as I could if for no other reason than it felt good, and familiar and safe. Almost like my world, my life that I had been forced to leave behind was still out there somewhere, and that maybe I could find it again, someday. Though there in lay the trouble. If I was ever to find my way back to my old life if ever I could, I would first have to find a way out of this Hell I had unwittingly created for myself of King's lurid favors, Queen's manic rages, and Lord's fagile mortalities.
The illusion broke, shattering all around me in million shimmering pieces illuminated only by the hope that died with it.
I couldn't cry anymore, but I wished that I could, or that at least I had the nerve to scream, anything to release this flood of emotion that had been dammed up in my heart and soul, but I just couldn't.
Oliver left an hour before dawn without any pageantry or so much as a word. The Sparrowman who relieved him wore autumn colors, had fierce green eyes and deep yellow-orange hair. He showed his disdain for me almost immediately, in the form of a sharp flat footed kick to the bars I had begun to doze against. The blow shook the reed that had been run up in place between us and reverberated painfully throughout my skull and electrifying me with short lived, disoriented panic.
Picking myself up from the floor I moved begrudgingly to the bed where I sank down and threw the blankets over my face to help drown out the steadily growing light that filtered in from outside. The guard distrustfully refusing to turn his back to me as his position would dictate, he instead stared at me, the feel of his eyes on me following me into sleep.
I awoke some time later to the sound of arguing. The luminescence of day harsh and bright, assaulting my vision immediately and making it difficult to discern what was happening around me, I sat up. Blinking furiously at the flow of tears my watering eyes had unleashed in an attempt to protect themselves from the burn I was just able to make out Elixa. She was backed by two other figures and was shouting angrily and my new, violent tempered guard.
"You will leave immediately or Queen Clarion will hear about this!" she was saying hotly. The other figures seemed content to stand quietly by, their arms heavily burdened and faces expressive, clearly disliking the idea of intervening.
"Excuse me." I called cautiously, edging my way to the end of the bed. The group turned to look at me with varying degrees of interest.
There was a moment of hush before Elixa turned away as though she needn't bother with me at the moment and turned instead to glare at the brute imposing his will upon her. "Leave, Asher, now." she said firmly.
There was a tense moment before the Fairy guard seemed to relent, but he didn't lose any of his fire, or hate. Turning the guard spat in my direction, staring at me with hard eyes for a long held breath of silence, my stomach contracting with fear at the familiarity in the look. After this he left without further word or argument, dropping the keys to my cell unceremoniously upon the floor.
"I'm sorry about that." the Healing Talent murmured as if embarrassed by his moody display.
Elixa nimbly unlocked and opened the door motioning for her fellows to enter while she tacked up the curtains once more. Blinking rapidly as a blessed shadow fell over the room, dimming it to an almost pleasant extent I relished the change.
"Thank you." I found myself saying as I wiped at my face free of the watery tears found there. I hadn't realized how much I could appreciate this type of simple kindness so much until that very moment. Elixa nodded entering my holding area, and speaking shortly with her companions.
"This is Marigold, and Poppy," she explained offering quick introductions to the yellow and red haired Fairy women who smiled and nodded briefly. After this the two went about filling the basin they had carried between them, scenting the warm water drawn from the sink with lavender oil as they did.
While the pair worked the Healing Talent rummaged through her medical equipment, producing fresh bandages, and several of the poultices and balms she had used earlier, lining them in a neat row across the solitary shelf afforded to me. Humming something absent mindedly, she and the others moved with purpose and ease. I felt awkward, out of place, and strangely vulnerable as I sat hands in lap, watching. I wanted to ask what exactly, the argument had been about, and if I'd somehow gotten the gentle Elixa into trouble. Reflecting upon the guard, Asher's rages, I both worried for and admired the nurse for standing up to him.
It was then that I noticed the barred door stood open, as if beckoning me towards it with promises of freedom. I found myself staring, wondering how quickly I could get through it, and then the door opposite, thinking about how many guards were waiting for me to try, and how sharp a Sparrowman's aim was. The desire still burning immensely I didn't take flight. No matter how sorely I wanted my freedom I knew it could not be obtained in such a way, that I would be hunted and brought swiftly back, if not slain. Then my mind wandered to Lord Milori and felt like I housed a block of ice in my stomach. If I left now I would never know the truth, and would be forced always to carry this cold weight of dread and guilt with me. In that sense, not matter what I did, or how far I flew I would never be free.
"There," Elixa said breaking my line of thought as she turned beaming brightly when apparently everything was finished. Her gaze confident and satisfied as she looked at me, almost as if she had left the door open intentionally, having caught my longing gaze. "We're all done. Now, you get yourself clean and taken care of. I'll be right outside to tend to you when you're done, take your time." she instructed.
"Thank you," I smiled, apprehensive at first.
When they'd gone, I approached the tub which was just large enough to submerge my lower half, a pitcher, sponge, and bar of soap standing beside it, and was overcome with relief. Slipping out of my clothes I glanced nervously at the red door which led to the outside world before stepping into the warm water, heat racing up my limbs upon contact.
Sinking into the tub I felt my muscles begin to relax, the stress and tension ebbing away at once. When the heat came to my stitches however, I flinched, holding myself to hover just above the waterline. I hadn't been prepared for it, the stinging, but determined to wash the rank, musty smell of Dusk from my body I took a breath and thrust myself beneath the confined waves. Biting my lip and whimpering I closed my eyes and waited for the intense burning sensation to subside, and at last, it did.
Breathing easier, and relishing the calming aromas I began pouring the cleansing liquid over my head until I was wet enough to form a lather. I washed carefully, encumbered by the use of one arm completely diminished making do the best I could, until I had soaped and rinsed my form completely. Reluctant to get out, I toweled off, sat upon my bed calling tentatively for the Healing Fairy.
Elixa appeared, closing the door swiftly behind her, though not before I'd caught sight of a threatening male form in beetle carapace armor. Smiling as she approached Elixa seemed to sense my discomfort and alarm. "Asher will stay outside until I'm done, you have my word."
Moving inside she made quick work of re-bandaging my wing and applying balm to my many cuts, her brown eyes fell decisively upon my face, and she sighed. "There's an ulcer forming already." she murmured to herself before looking me in the eye. "I don't," she started as if finding the correct phrasing was difficult. "I don't suppose you know the type of venom?" she asked.
"No," I confessed shamefully. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." she put simply, using a thin, dull blade to free the dead, rotting skin from the healthy tissue, making my eyes flutter somewhat anxiously.
"I'm going to leave this here for you." she explained pausing her work to hold up a little pink jar of clay-like paste. "I need you to apply if six times a day." she added once she'd finished exposing my healthy skin. Unscrewing the lid and smoothing it the cooling ointment over my wound Elixa seemed to be lost deep in thought.
"Is everything alright?" I asked with some uncertainty.
"Yes dear." she replied. Standing to shelf the jar Elixa wiped her hands on her apron motioning for me to dress. "I dare say that's all for now." she said as I laced up the neckline securely. "You won't likely see me again until the I come to remove the stitches."
My face fell, eyes wide as I gawked at her. "What?" my voice tremored.
Nodding the Fairy sat beside me on the bed. "I'm sorry," she intoned earnestly. "But I'm only here to tend to your injuries, and nothing more."
There was a vice in my chest, squeezing at the hard working valve that was my heart. "But- but-" I stammered, wanted to ask 'But who can I trust with you gone?' though something held me back. "But I don't want to be alone!" I practically shrieked.
"I know," the Healer said solemnly, taking my hand in hers and sighing. "You won't be, though, I promise, and in the meantime, if you need me, you can send for me."
I regarded her with pain for a long minute. I'd thought she was my friend, someone I could trust, and depend on, believing that perhaps, she was the only person here who might believe me. Treasonous notions that if it hadn't been for the queen's command I would have never even met Elixa a bitterness rose within me, one I knew was unfounded and little deserved by the kind soul to my left.
"Don't be sad." she whispered, fixing my braid to hang behind one ear. She seemed to want to say something more, but got up instead. "Goodbye for now Nightshade," Elixa said from the door, Marigold and Poppy reemerging to gather what they'd brought with them, a cross Asher escorting them in. And like that, she flew off, leaving me devastatingly alone.