"Well, it wasn't the worst five breems I ever wasted," Starscream reflected, optics flicking distastefully to each of the bar patrons as he shoved past them. It was still early in the evening, none of them were drunk enough to not recognise him as their leader. They should have been practically bowing before him as he walked, but he supposed just the fact someone wasn't trying to assassinate him yet was blessing enough.

Then again, he was certain one of his brothers would attract enough antagonism for all three of them.

"Yeah, where you're concerned I've had far worse." Skywarp snorted, confident that Starscream wouldn't be able to retaliate in his usual way. Not with the mandatory therapist's- Wrong, his name was? Skywarp never paid much attention aside from when Starscream was allowed to rant during their session- warnings of 'burst fuel lines caused by hyperaggression affecting internal energon temperature' still ringing about in the hollow space of his helm.

Thundercracker meanwhile already felt his own helm pounding just at the sound of his brother's smugness. After spending so many centuries stuck with it, Starscream's screeching was almost a blessed relief.

"Anyway, Cracker, I've been meaning to ask; how's that little organic creature of yours?" Even with the innocent sheen over Skywarp's optics, Thundercracker was in no mood to put up with his prodding tonight.

"Her name is Buster, and what do you care about her?"

Skywarp shrugged, managing to squeeze past two bots as he kept up with his companions. "Just curiosity. I never did get familiar with anything other than humans on Earth. I heard she was 'carrying' as well- puppies, I think they're called-?"

"No."

Skywarp stopped short with a confused splutter, almost genuine sounding. "What do you mean, 'no'?!"

"No, you can't have one of them. I don´t trust you and your clumsy digits." Thundercracker didn't pay much more mind to the purple mech's scandalised expression, as amusing as it was. Instead he turned to the only trine member he was sure had at least 50% of his processor still working properly. "Did we have to choose somewhere right in the middle of Iacon, Starscream? The Autobots may have accepted you into their flock, but I can already feel someone's widow glaring at me."

Starscream scoffed in first dismission and then disgust as he realised he just stepped in a puddle of purged high-grade, with its source lying face down in it. "Hardly," he snarled, scraping his ped on the passed out mech's helm. "I think all that time on Earth has damaged your memory core- have you forgotten Maccadam's is completely neutral ground?" Under any other circumstances Starscream would have scoffed at the notion of any place being 'neutral' even before the war, but the stellar cycle's events forced him to take a different perspective on just about everything nowadays. "Besides, all three factions have more reasons to hate me than digits on their servos, so don't think you're so special. But if you're really scared about having someone poison your high-grade, find some Camiens to sit with."

Thundercracker merely rolled his optics, but Skywarp looked like a sparkling being faced with an energon cake, waggling his digits and grinning. "Don't mind if I do-"

"Get back here, Skywarp," Starscream growled, grabbing hold of his neck and hauling him backwards when he made to saunter past them. "Every femme's bound to have a 50 metre restraining order against you by now."

Skywarp huffed and struggled out of Starscream's grip, folding his servos over in a sulk when he regained his balance. "Come on, Scream! Scared I'll get carried off by my future sparkmate and leave you two all alone? Wasn't having to downgrade to that rust-bucket you call a frame enough to prove my commitment to our trine?" He swept a servo over his chassis with an eyeridge raised. Another notion of the Primus-damned therapist, that they all share the same frame type again so their reunification went smoother.

"Besides, you're the one who sanctioned re-opening the space bridge, right?" He sidled closer to his now-scowling trine leader with a knowing glint in his optics. "Don't tell me you didn't expect the overflow of "hot stuff" straight from Caminus around here. Unless you were thinking of keeping them all to yourself...?"

Starscream practically threw himself down on a seat when they finally reached the bar, cradling his helm in his servo in a desperate effort to soothe how much it throbbed. "I'm offended you'd think I'd even consider it."

Skywarp grinned, preferring to lean against the bar top than sit. "Good. As if you'd be able to handle them all, anyway. Frames as gorgeous as those deserve expert handling."

"Oh, how quaint." Despite his boiling anger Starscream couldn't help but let his habitual smirk show through as he mused. "Mr Wannabe Playboy wants to share his 'invaluable' femme experiences with us. I suppose you've already shown some of them your cockpit, have you?"

"Ha, you have no idea!" Skywarp bragged, blissfully unaware that he was being mocked so easily. "I'll tell you... the ones with the dark color schemes, they're the most demanding ones. You gotta be really creative with compliments to win them over. The bright ones are easier to get. I think the paint blinds their processors or something, nine out of ten times they're silly bimbos, but damn, they are sexy..." Skywarp's lazy grin was quickly slapped off his faceplate by a light blue servo striking his cheek. A pair of blazing optics glared up at him when he turned his helm back around, rubbing at his burning face.

"I knew I recognised that voice," the femme before him snarled, curling her slapping hand into a fist while the other gripped her hip joint. She seemed blind to Starscream and Thundercracker's presences, as well as the two Seekers' stifled snickering. "You're such an a disgusting pig, Warp! Not only did you exploit me, you go ahead and say such disgusting things! You really are a revolting freak!" She was gone before Skywarp had time to blink in shock, carving a path of rage through the crowd and seemingly intent on finding someone to punch.

Starscream liked to think of himself as a professional in all matters, but even he couldn't stop himself from cackling along with Thundercracker at his brother's expression.

"A past recipient of your 'expert handling', Warp?"

The purple mech slumped down in an empty seat and collapsed onto the bar top, sighing into it. "...you could say that."

Starscream smirked into his glass when his order finally arrived, always grateful to see Skywarp getting well-deserved karma for once. The mech's gloominess didn't last for very long though, as when Thundercracker slid a drink over to him he lifted his helm to down half of the whole thing in one go.

"But y'know what? I'm not letting one blip ruin my whole night." Skywarp wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, optics burning with a new brand of determination (or encroaching inebreation, it was always hard to tell with him). "I came to have a good time, and not even Primus is gonna stop me. I'm talking about me going out with friends to a bar, meeting a mutual friend or acquaintance, and flirting so we both end up sneaking off and doing the deed. At least, that's usually what happens when me or anyone else I know has casual interface." Just before he made to sip the rest of his drink, Skywarp slid his optics over to Thundercracker in a sleazy gaze. "That is, unless it's you we're talking about, Cracker... how's Flamewar doing, by the way?"

The blue mech somehow managed to stop himself choking on his high-grade as he spluttered, but Starscream had some more trouble stopping laughter snorting inelegantly through his vents. "I-I wouldn't know. She hasn't exactly been welcome around Cybertron since... well, the jailbreak." Thundercracker didn't much like to think about it, considering some of his wires were still fried from the experience and that it almost had him end up as energon stains on the business end of Megatron's fusion cannon.

"Hm." Skywarp shrugged and made a show of looking around the bar. "Maybe she's hanging around here somewhere- it'd be rather shocking if we see her again, wouldn't it?"

"Shut up."

"Oh, leave him alone, Warp," Starscream said, polishing his first drink off. "All the things you've done could fill a whole archive- and that's not even including the drunken ones."

"That's rich coming from you, Screamer." Skywarp said the dreaded nickname with a special emphasis that sent Starscream's audios and denta grinding in unison. "I'm actually surprised you go into bars anymore after what happened during the war..."

"Dare I ask you to refresh my memory?" the red Seeker asked cautiously, idly swirling the dregs of his glass.

Skywarp and Thundercracker shared a look before their glossa moved simultaneously. "Valhalla Ladies."

"Point taken." Starscream shuddered so hard he almost spilled high-grade down his chest armour as he raised his glass, cautiously flitting his narrowed optics over the bar crowd- anything that wasn't Skywarp's insipid grin would be a relief.

At least, that was what he thought before he spied familiar crimson armour at a table near the front of the dimmed stage.

'As if this night wasn't bad enough...'

Skywarp giggled at both Starscream and Thundercracker's proto-deep scowls as he sipped at his glass, raising an eyeridge at how Starscream's quickly curdled further into a grimace. Thundercracker's, on the other servo, lightened into something more curious as he nodded towards a table amongst the sea of patrons.

"So, that's the famous Cityspeaker and her two friends?" Starscream didn't need to look to where Thundercracker's helm indicated. Windblade was by far the most famous of her breed, and ever since she arrived the courts had been abuzz with gossip that Starscream was inclined to ignore- mostly speculation about what secret words she shared with Metroplex and more than a few mechs wondering if she had someone waiting for her back on Caminus. Starscream had only seen brief glimpses of the other femmes accompanying her tonight, but he was convinced that both were to be treated with a healthy dose of wariness.

"Hey, Screamer..." Starscream hissed as Skywarp's fist gently collided with his shoulder, catching a wink from him when he turned to berate him. "So that's the chick that been giving you so many sleepless nights?"

It was just as well the Seeker didn't have anything in his mouth else he would have spluttered it all over his brother. "S-Stop calling me Screamer! And what the Pit is that supposed to mean?!"

"Just leave him, Warp," Thundercracker put in before Skywarp could dig himself an even deeper path to the Pit. The purple mech gave TC a confused look, suspiciously like the one Buster usually gave him.

"What? It's an honest question!"

Thundercracker rolled his optics at his cluelessness. "Give him a little break, okay? From what I heard their... 'relationship' is complicated."

"What are you talking about, Cracker?" Starscream swore he could feel his denta flaking from how his jaw was grinding them together, trying to contain himself and keep his null ray hidden. "What kind of 'relationship'are you on about? Don't tell me you believe all the Vosian gossip!"

Thundercracker seemed surprised at the intensity of his brother's anger and shrank away, lowering his wings. Skywarp seemed to interpret Starscream's growl as something else though, as he patted his shoulder in place of a punch this time.

"Come on, admit it! You think she's hot!"

Starscream aired an angry snort through his olfactories, but otherwise chose to ignore Skywarp. Thundercracker had used his initiative and ordered snacks to go with their next round of drinks, pushing a bowl of Starscream's favourite Mercrackers (solid mercury flakes coated in energon) towards him. The red mech's glower seemed to dissolve as he shovelled the treats into his mouth, and Thundercracker actually thought Starscream would manage to enjoy himself tonight until Skywarp sent his glossa flying again.

"Well, have you?"

Starscream paused mid-snack shovel, chewing on the flakes already in his mouth. "What?"

Skywarp's smirk turned the sweetness in Starscream's taste nodes to dust in an instant. "Have you slept with her yet?"

"Oh, for the love of Primus-"

"Leave it, the both of you," Thundercracker said sternly, turning an especially hard glare to Skywarp. Both Seekers huffed, but with a roll of red optics and another handful of Mercrackers they eventually relented.

"Moving on..." Skywarp drawled, fiddling idly with his digits and looking over to Thundercracker. "Like Starscream said, you've still got some time to try and one-up me on the 'public humiliation' front, TC. How many drinks will it take this time to make you propose to everyone with a valve around here?"

Thunder took on a sinister look, taking a slow drink and placing a servo on his hip. "Well, Warp, I guess some bots try to get with every femme in the bar, and some just try to interface with an earth jet. I ask myself, which one is more ridiculous?"

"YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T BRING THAT UP!"

Someone saved Starscream from banging both their helms together to shut them up by hissing a brisk Shhh! at them from across the bar, and it was only then that the tricolour mech noticed the unnatural silence that had settled over the evening crowd (even the Wreckers in the corner had muted their usual jeers for once). All their attention was on the stage set up at the front of the building, suddenly aglow with light, and the two femmes standing atop it. Even if he hadn't seen her earlier he would have instantly recognised the cowering crimson one, even with her faceplate kept so firmly hidden from view- no doubt the silver metal was going liquid mercury with the force of her embarrassment. And he knew why, as soon as he saw the banner officially designating this poor evening as 'karaoke night'.

'Never thought you were one for entertaining, Windblade...'