A/N: Thank you so much for reading, and please feel free to leave a review. All I can say for this chapter is sometimes things get worse before they get better.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from ABC's Scandal or anyone/anything else.

I woke up in a panic three nights later, grabbing the pistol off my nightstand, trying to get some air into my lungs. Then I realized it was just a dream.

I had dreamed about when I found my father, dead, upstairs in our house.

I remembered every bit of that morning. The girl he brought home that night running out the house, me going upstairs and to his room, seeing the vodka and clothes strewn about.

I can't get him out of my mind. The way he looked, the way he felt when I touched him. His body was already cold.

He would never speak to me again. He would never yell at me or threaten me, he would never put us down again, he could never hurt Mellie again. That I was glad for.

He would never disgrace my mother's name again. He would never bring home another prostitute.

But I could never tell him I loved him again.

I hated my father more than I could ever explain, but I still loved him. I couldn't get past the fact that he was actually gone. I calmed down and saw the bathroom light was on, figuring Mellie was up. I took a deep breath and relaxed, setting the gun down and getting up to check on her. I walked to the door and saw her curled up in the floor against the wall by the porcelain sink, her tear stained cheeks still red. I immediately crouched down beside her, figuring something bad had happened.

My mind went in a million different directions, thinking the worst scenarios possible. I couldn't let anything happen to her. I couldn't lose her. She's all I have left.

"Mels, what's wrong?" I asked, tucking her soft hair behind her ear as she closed her eyes, wiping her tears.

"I just...had another bad dream about that night, is all," she whispered shakily. I sighed, not believing she dreamed about him too. Great minds think alike, I guess.

"I'm ok," she said, reassuring me as she rubbed her stomach. "The baby's woken up, but that's nothing new," she chuckled. I sat down beside her, my back against the cold wall, pulling her into my lap and wrapping my arms around her. I rested my hands on her stomach and she laid hers on top of mine, guiding me where to feel our baby move.

The second I felt it, I couldn't believe it. We had made a life, a child.

"You know," I said softly, "We end up sitting on the bathroom floor a lot. I always seem to find you here," I chuckled softly, resting my chin on her shoulder. She leaned her warm head against mine after kissing my cheek.

"I feel safe in here," she whispered. "It's small, it's quiet. I can lock the door. There's no windows. Shutting myself up in here feels good," she admitted quietly.

"I can't forget the noise he made, the way he enjoyed every bit of it...I don't care what he said, I never provoked him in any way," she said, tears coming to her eyes.

She still felt the need to defend herself to me, and I knew then I hadn't done my job.

I hadn't shown her I was totally on her side and believed her, that I was ready to protect her no matter the consequence. I thought she knew, I thought I had proved it when I threatened to kill Jerry, when I let him know I was in charge, when I told her it was ok to tell Dr. Ryde about everything.

I felt as though she couldn't trust me, and that cut deep.

"Mellie," I said, choking on my words, tears in my eyes, "You don't have to prove yourself to me. I know you did everything in your power to stop him. He is a sick man. I know you didn't do anything to provoke him. I promise I am always on your side," I whispered, trying to make her understand this.

She turned around and saw the hurt in my eyes, but I saw a broken spirit, a woman with copious amounts of love and energy and strength stolen from her.

"I hate him," she said, a tear rolling down her cheek. She picked up her phone off the cold tile floor and checked the time - 4:26 a.m.

I had to be at work two and a half hours. I thought about calling in sick to stay with her, but I used up all my days off and then some while we were Ben and Kelly's house. I hated leaving her like this. All alone, upset, angry, hurt. I hated thinking about it, but in the back of my mind, I always wondered if she had ever tried to hurt herself, or even worse...

She got up from my lap and slowly walked back into our bedroom, getting in the bed and crawling under the covers. She laid her head on the fluffy feather pillow, letting out a deep sigh, trying to fight off this depression and heartache.

I stood in the bathroom doorway, feeling my heart sink as I looked at my broken wife before me. She was doing so good healing, she was getting so much better. She was inching her way forward, but even the tiniest relapse seemed to set her back miles.

We still had a long way to go.

As I load up our bag in the truck to go to the hospital, I look at my watch - 8:12 a.m. - and decide it would be best to call Betty. I stood outside in the already hot August morning air and called her, hoping she was awake. We had already been up since 6:30, watching TV, just waiting.

"Hello?" She answered softly. She sounded like she was already awake.

"Hey Betty, it's Fitz," I answered.

"Fitz, it's so good to hear from you," she said, eating her breakfast. "How's Mellie?"

"I was actually calling about that. She just went into labor and I'm working on getting you on the next flight out here," I explained, searching for a flight on my computer. "Think you could do a 10:30 flight?"

"Of course I can for my babies," she said excitedly. "Let me get dressed and grab my bag and I'll be on my way. Can I talk to her?"

"Sure, let me just go back inside," I said, going back inside and finding Mellie on the couch, watching TV when I handed her the phone.

"It's your mom," I said, and her eyes lit up, a smile formed on her face. I smiled back and quickly went into my office to call Mike. He knew what needed to be done the rest of this week.

As soon as I heard Mellie's laugh from the other room, I was at ease. She never let her feelings show, but I know she was a little nervous about all of this, especially what her dad might do. She had never told him she was even pregnant and I know Betty didn't.

Hopefully he didn't know. I didn't want to have to deal with him, too.

It was about a month after we came home from Ben and Kelly's, exactly a month. I was sitting in the break room for my wing of the Capitol, trying to relax. My mind was going at full speed, still thinking about my father's death.

It felt like I was in this daze, like there was this fog all around me. I needed to get out of it. I had been in it for days. Exercising didn't help, reading, working more, nothing helped.

I was going to get out the only way I knew how.

I pulled out my phone and texted Ben, who was on my shift today instead of Mellie's. I got up slowly, speaking to everyone I passed in the hallway on the way back to my office. I unlocked the door and shut it behind myself quietly, closing the blinds. I sat down at my desk and sighed, hoping Ben would come see me soon.

I sat completely still for the next ten minutes, not looking at a single thing on my desk and hearing nothing until Ben opened the door. He came in and locked the door behind himself, then took his sunglasses off. He reached into his vest pockets and pulled their contents out, setting them in front of me.

"It's all they had, Chief," he said. "I didn't want to drive ten more minutes down the road-"

"It's fine," I said, taking a drink of the whiskey and opening the pack of cigarettes lying before me. I pulled one out and grabbed a spare lighter out of my desk drawer, lighting it and immediately feeling more at ease. It wasn't weed, but it would do.

I threw the cigarettes and lighter to Ben and he didn't hesitate to light up. He only occasionally smoked, and half the time that ended up being with me. He knew not to turn one down when he was offered.

After finishing the small bottle of whiskey and four cigarettes later, I was feeling much better. Everything was clearer with a numb mind and heart. Ben hung around for the next hour as we just sat there, saying nothing.

I didn't really miss my father. Why would someone who was such an ass to everyone ever be missed?