WARNING: this particular chapter contains 'attempted' suicide. I use the term lightly for personal reasons that I will explain only if asked. -I don't want to trigger anyone.

Another month and a half had passed, and Kuroko was getting no better. In fact, he'd gotten much worse. The bluenette now refused to leave his home at all unless being forcefully dragged out by Kagami. His house was a mess from all the times he'd drunkenly tossed random objects around, tearing the place to shreds. The few pictures of Akashi he hadn't packed up immediately after the breakup were strewn across the floor, ripped in half and some with charred edges.

Kuroko had also not been sleeping. Ever since he met the woman Akashi was going to marry, he hadn't had a full night's rest, even with the sleeping pills he'd been prescribed. Not that he took them anymore. They just made him even more tired, but he still couldn't keep his eyes closed for more than an hour at a time.

It was early in the morning, just nearing seven, and Kuroko was already very drunk. Stupidly, he'd also left his TV on all night, and it now showed the heartbreaking image of Akashi Seijuro, smiling as if his life was truly perfect. The redhead's arm was draped around that woman, as Kuroko insisted on calling her. It made the bluenette fume, and he began one of his violent rampages again. Chairs were flung, pictures broken, glass decorations shattered. He looked down once, momentarily pausing in his warpath as he noticed blood trickling from his palms. He'd somehow managed to cut himself in the process. Just another thing to yell at Akashi for.

During this entire affair, Kuroko was screaming at the top of his lungs, yelling out insults and curses toward the one man he truly longed to be with. Finally, utterly exhausted, he fell into a heap in front of the TV, watching with aching interest as Akashi was interviewed.

"When will the wedding be, Akashi?" the lady to his right had asked, and the redhead smiled back at her before looking to his fiancé.

"We actually haven't set an official date, but we're thinking sometime in January."

"Great," Kuroko mumbled, "best birthday present ever, Akashi."

He sighed, remembering the conversation the two had had just days before this bombshell was dropped on him.

"Sei~ I have an idea for my birthday~"

Akashi blinked, looking up to his lover as a smile crossed his lips. "Oh? That's so far away, Tetsuya. What made you think of it?"

Kuroko grinned happily, nuzzling closer to the redhead. "I dunno, it just came to me~"

The redhead chuckled under his breath, turning slightly to kiss his beloved's brow. "Well, what is it? Anything for you, my love."

Kuroko's cheeks flushed as he fidgeted with his fingers, too shy to meet Akashi's curious gaze. "I want to take a trip, just me and Sei. So we can relax and be alone together."

Akashi was stunned into silence as the words registered in his brain. He had noticed how down Kuroko would get lately when they had to attend social events together, but not be together. Still, he'd never expected the bluenette to be so blunt about the matter. Kuroko was one to speak his mind, but he often held his tongue when it came to their relationship itself.

The redhead finally smiled, his eyes flittering along Kuroko's body as he wondered how he'd been so lucky to have him. "Alright, Tetsuya," he said sweetly, earning a large grin from the other man, "we'll take a trip in January. Just you and me."

And now he was marrying that bitch instead.

"Any particular reason for January?"

Akashi opened his mouth to reply, but that woman spoke first, laughing to herself. "January is a really important month for Seijuro~"

Kuroko's breath hitched in his throat as she looked directly into the camera, sending a smug wink to the lens before she forcefully pulled the redhead into a kiss. She knew he was watching. His heart hurt. His brain felt fuzzy. And suddenly, he didn't feel like living anymore.

What was the point now anyway? He'd lost his only chance at his dream job, he wouldn't be able to afford his rent much longer, and that woman got to live happily ever after with his lover. It all seemed too much now, and he groaned, wishing he could just sleep.

And that's when the idea struck him. He could sleep. All he would need, was a few pills. In a complete daze, Kuroko sluggishly pulled himself up, stumbling down the hall and to the bathroom. It took him a moment to open the medicine cabinet, even longer to open the pill bottle, but he was soon counting the pills within his palm. Twenty-one. That would be enough, wouldn't it?

He sighed, recounting them again and again, until the numbers faded in his mind, and all that remained was Akashi's face. Smiling to himself, he didn't even notice the tears streaming down his face. "Maybe we can be together in the next life," he mumbled, and without another moment's hesitation, he threw the pills down his throat, wincing at the awful taste on his tongue.

He stared at himself in the mirror for a long time, wondering who he'd become. It wasn't long before panic set in, as he realized what he'd done, but he pushed it back. Nodding to his own reflection, he pasted on a sickly torn smile. "The next life…"

It wasn't long before darkness overcame him. He welcomed it with open arms.

Fortunately, or unfortunately in the bluenette's unconscious perspective, he'd forgotten Kagami was meant to come over that morning.