"I'm very sorry. As the educator and the elder one, I should not have put us in this situation," he started.
"Excuse me, Mr. Smith," Rose interrupted, crossing her arms, "but I'm not some doe-eyed teenager. I'm a fully grown woman who senses a mutual attraction between us. You're kind," she insisted, "you care about your students passing, you are honorable, your face isn't bad to look at and all right you've got a nice bum as well," she paused. "I feel something here that I think is more than just a crush, and I think you do too or you wouldn't have told me your story." She waited for him to respond. "Well," she challenged, "am I alone here?"
"It doesn't matter. Don't you understand that this," he flung his arm out toward the telescope, "is all I have?" He pleaded, "I have no past, only my future to look forward to, I can't risk it all for someone I've just met, no matter - " he stopped suddenly.
After a beat Rose demanded, "What? What were you going to say?"
John sighed in defeat, "No matter how drawn to her I feel."
"Okay, so the facts are, that A: we both desire each other, B: as long as you remain my professor's teacher's aide, we cannot get involved, and C: there are only four weeks left of this class. Did I miss anything?"
After thinking for a moment, he shook his head.
"What day do you submit grades?"
"I don't do that, Dr. Conlon does. But I do know that grades are due at midnight by May 23rd."
She ripped a page out of her notebook, dug around in her backpack and produced a roll of clear tape. Then, she wrote something on the paper, folded it closed, taped it shut, and wrote again on the outside. She tossed the packet at him and he caught it.
"Do not open until 24 May 2008," he looked up at her questioningly.
"So here's what we do. We will not be alone together again, I don't want to jeopardize your work and your dissertation. I'll hire a tutor, use the internet, get in a study group, or something else. You can make sure Dr. Conlon grades my paper. You will open that packet on May 24th and you will call me using that number."
"Demanding," he said thickly.
"Just," she began, looking at her hands, "just don't fall for anyone between now and then.
"Muss Tyler, I'm hardly a Casanova. I haven't been out with a soul since my first memory." Softly he added, "besides, it might be too late to stop myself falling for someone."
"Yeah?" questioned Rose.
"Yeah," he assured her.
They stood around awkwardly until Rose spoke up. "As far as the rest of tonight goes, I have a question. Do you think I have enough information to do the extra credit?"
Clearing his throat, he answered, "It's better to have more, but I'd say you have the bare minimum."
She shoved her notebook and assignment into her backpack and put it on. "Right then, I'm going to go. Let me out?"
Down the hallway, she led the way, and briefly wondered if he was watching her in the same way that she had watched him while she followed her in. She resisted the urge to turn around and check, and instead focused her energy on the plan she was formulating to make sure he didn't forget her in the time that would pass before he could call her. Her heart raced with anticipation.
When she made it to the gate, she stood aside and waited for him to unlock it. He opened it and held it open for her, not standing behind it as he had done earlier when she had arrived. Wiping her palms on her jeans, she decided to go through with her idea.
Very quickly, she pressed her lips to his and was happy and surprised when he kissed back. The kiss deepened and though she felt that almost everything was right, the man, the scene, and the chemistry, she knew that the time was not right and drew back.
"Make sure to remember me," she said.
He simply nodded, shocked, as she jogged away
Rose sat at a table in a restaurant with her study group. She had seen John Smith in two more class periods since the night at the observatory. Thankfully, he was no longer trying to ignore her, but was treating her the same as the other students. This was absolutely fine with Rose, however every time she opened her astronomy book at home her mind kept going back to the observatory. True to her word, she sought out this study group and made use of online materials to work on her grade. Her paper had received almost full credit, graded by the professor, and the next test was in just two days. She felt ready for this one though.
She snapped out of her reverie when she heard the teacher's aide mentioned.
"Kara asked him out and he said it was 'unprofessional.' Bet he has a girl - that's the only way anyone could turn her down," said the girl whose name Rose couldn't remember. It was either Isobel or Anabell.
"You could get lost in those eyes, but the man has to be near thirty and probably married. Kind of gross I think; Kara's barely 19," Penny gossiped. "Good to look at yes, but not to date."
"Hmmmmm maybe for an affair then," Anabell or Isobel replied, fluttering her eyelashes. The whole table burst out into scandalized laughter except for Rose, who chuckled weakly.
Rose clicked the refresh button at the top of the browser again. There was still a "-" in the place where her next-to-last exam grade would eventually be. The test had felt easier than all of the previous tests and she was hoping for a better grade.
There was a knock at her bedroom door. "Rose, sweetie, come watch this movie with me. You need a break. I'm making some popcorn."
She glanced longingly at her screen and refreshed one more time; still no grade. Sighing, she closed the lid of the laptop and went to join her mother in the livingroom.
By the end of the movie, Jackie had fallen asleep and Rose adjusted the throw to cover her better. Then, restraining herself from running, she went back to her room and opened the laptop. The school system had kicked her out for inactivity, so she had to log back in and make several clicks before she could get back to her astronomy grade book.
She made an 82 and almost squealed from her excitement. Now, since she had finished all of the work for her online classes, all she had left to worry about was the final exam for astronomy.
Mickey looked everywhere but at Rose, "Yeah, I suppose we can have a bite. I don't have too long though." She had run into him by chance after class the week before her final exam.
They stepped into the cafe and she stood in line to order with him following reluctantly, keeping space between them. "Why is this so weird," she postulated.
"A big idiot, me," he banged his closed fist on his forehead. "On Martha's and my first date, I think I was still hung up on you. Kept telling her stories about you or how you'd like this or that."
Rose punched him in the arm before moving up the line, breaking the ice between them. "Mickey, you're not supposed to talk about other women on your first date!"
"Oi, what about me gran? Being that I live with her and all."
"Do you really think it's a good idea to talk about living with your grandmother while on your first date with an attractive woman?"
Mickey opened his mouth a couple of times, "You might have a point there," he smirked at her. They erupted into genuine laughter, and then it was Rose's turn to order.
The conversation continued after Mickey joined Rose at the table she had chosen away from the windows and other customers. "So you talked about me on your first date and," Rose prodded.
"Oh. Well, she had kind of a reaction after I brought you up a few times. Kind of got quiet. I finally realized that I had been daft and eventually I salvaged it. Obviously."
"Are you happy?"
"But another thing," he started studying his chips intensely, "when I saw your party, me and her weren't actually together."
"You're broken up?"
"At the time yeah, but now we're sort of engaged," he peeked up to gauge her reaction.
She grinned at him, "Shut up!"
"Hold it, I said sort of. It's not official, she put off answering me because I asked so badly," he chuckled. "See, we were broken up when I asked her!"
"Oh Mickey, why would you do that?"
"I panicked when she told me she was pregnant."
Rose's mouth fell open into an O of surprise and she was speechless.
"She had called me and asked to meet up; I didn't know what for. So she told me that she had just found out and it was mine. While we were having dinner I kept thinking about my dad not being around and she was in the middle of telling me about telling her mum and dad and I just blurted out 'marry me.' And then she made a face at me sort of like you're making now."
She shook off her awe, "But you are back together now?"
"Yeah, and yes, I am very happy. I'm going to be a dad. I'm looking at a place for all of us and Gran. Gran loves her and is excited about the baby. My son's father will always be there for him, unlike mine."
"Oh wow, so you've had the test to see that it's a boy?"
"Nah, too early for that just yet. She's only nine weeks."
"What makes you think it's going to be a boy then silly - it could very well be a girl, or even twins. Oh what if it's three?" She laughed again.
"You're hilarious," he deadpanned. "Bite your tongue woman, I'm having a hard enough time adjusting to one - and it is just one, she had a sonogram to see the heartbeat. Gran has a feeling it's a boy, and that's good enough for me."
"Aww sweet Gran. I need to come visit."
Mickey smiled back at her, "I think she'd love that. So tell me about how you've been."
"I'm all on track to graduate in December. Starting to put my resume out there, hoping for a summer internship to get my foot in the - " Rose stopped, feeling eyes on her. When she looked up she saw John staring at her with a blank look on his face. When she met his eyes, he whirled around and exited the cafe. "I'll be back," she informed Mickey as she attempted to chase John down.
"John," she shouted. He walked faster and she jogged to catch up but he after he turned the corner and she got around it, she lost him. Glumly, she returned to the cafe with Mickey.
"What was that all about?"
She slumped back with her arms folded, frowning, "Someone I want to date, and who wants to date me, but we have to wait until the semester is over. I couldn't catch him though."
"Why do you have to wait," he asked.
"He's the teacher's aide in my astronomy class. It would be a conflict of interest. He didn't seem too happy about seeing us together here."
He patted her arm, "If this bloke doesn't wait to hear your explanation, then he ain't worth it."
"There's one more class period, then the final. It would be hard to discuss this in front of other students and the professor," Rose pouted.
"So slip him a note," Mickey suggested.
"Yeah, yeah. Good idea," she replied.
Rose had her note ready, but John wasn't in attendance for the last class period or the final exam.
She was having trouble sleeping again - thinking of John while she was worried that he had avoided her on purpose was not making things easy. She was also frustrated with herself for being upset and focused on a man. She was a strong, independent, modern woman. Who needs a man, she thought to herself. She was surprised to discover that the answer came back at her from her subconscious, You don't, but you need this one. Rose didn't understand why, but she felt that this voice was correct.
On May 24th, Rose's phone was practically glued to her hand. She kept unlocking it to check for missed calls she knew she didn't have, and ended up having to charge it around dinner.
He didn't call. She had passed her class, but he didn't call.