MONTH 5 (CONT.)

Serena's back hurt. And so did everything else. She lay sprawled on the Archibald couch, the television was playing an old black and white film of Blair's while the October sun radiated a gentle heat into the penthouse through the large glass windows. Giving a soft groan, the blonde turned onto her side, curling her arm up behind her head as she continued to gaze out into the endless blue sky - it was times like these that she began to contemplate on just about everything.

Why was the sky so blue?

What did time have to do with perception?

Why did people leave and why do people stay?

Why didn't Ilsa stay with Rick?

What was so good about Laszlo anyway?

All these thoughts swirled around her head and she couldn't help but feel an odd, watery clenching in her stomach. The waves of nostalgia for life that she sometimes had began to hit her again and this time, she couldn't drink or party to help keep those feelings and thoughts away.

Serena van der Woodsen was not a simple minded girl - for all her partying and reckless attitude were things that she did with purpose. She participated in those heady, nightclub coded events to forget about just how short life was but just how infinite time is.

Humans only ever lived for so many years but time, and here the blonde closed her eyes, time was infinite. It saddened her to think that someday she wouldn't awaken, she wouldn't feel the full force of what life had to offer - she wouldn't remember the taste of a pumpkin spice latte (or Chuck's kisses), wouldn't feel the warmth of a July sun on her skin (or Chuck's fingertips), and she wouldn't see the beauty of a clear, blue autumn sky (or Chuck).

Before she'd found herself content, she had been upset by the loss of all those things but she'd accepted it because that's what a van der Woodsen does - they accept things and then party as hard as they possibly can to drill that truth into their heads. She had followed the van der Woodsen steps for accepting hard truths: she had understood that one day she was going to die and then she had gone out on a wild binge spree that had ended with her having sex with the boy she'd known since she was five years old. So what? Just another memory on earth to try and keep before she wasted away in a coffin, right?

No.

Because then she'd just had to fall in love with Chuck Bass.

Why him? Serena thought vaguely as she began to slowly drift between the realms of reality and her subconscious, why did she have to fall in love with a cold, callous, womanizing bastard with a tendency to assert ascendancy into everything he did?

Because he loves you and would do anything to put a smile on your face - even if that means reading pregnancy books because he knows you won't, taking time out of his schedule to call you even though he has a meeting that will leave him bone weary and exhausted. Because he doesn't ever want you to be alone so he tries to come home as early as he possibly can and why he'll always watch those stupid rom-coms you always love while eating delivered pizza from around the corner even though all he wants is classical music in a smoky bar with a glass of scotch. Because for once in his Bass given existence, he's putting someone - someone who he doesn't even have to acknowledge - ahead of his own needs and wants.

It was with those thoughts that the blue eyed Venus drifted off into dreamland, a soft, content smile upon her pink lips while the violet, despondent questions on life gently lifted themselves from her mind.

I'll still have to talk to him about Georgina and Jenny and…

CAFE SABARSKY. SUNDAY, OCTOBER 4TH. NOON. (TWO DAYS PRIOR).

Carter Baizen was on his third glass of white wine but it was already 11:50 AM. Usually, at this time, he would've uncorked the aged scotch or maybe even shoot down a few whiskeys before his meeting with his new construction firm. Despite what many people say, Carter Baizen wasn't impermeable; sure he had thick skin but he was aware of the disgusted looks people of higher rank threw at him when their gaze somehow fell unto his unkempt, dark, golden brown hair and faded, sky blue eyes.

But he was meeting Serena today and he couldn't afford to be drunk - she was giving him one shot and he sure as hell wasn't going to purposely ruin it by slurring out whatever blurb that decided to pop into his head. Picking up the wine glass, he downed the rest of the smooth alcohol; the thoughts he'd worked so hard to suppress were slowly filtering back into the forefront of his mind as his buzz began to kick in.

I should've been stronger, he mentally spat, even his subconscious voice was bitter with self hatred, and then maybe I could've still been a man and not the rat I am…a sardonic chuckle escaped his lips as he squeezed the stem of the wine glass with enough force for the blown sand to snap. Chuck fucking Bass was right…I am nothing but a coward…trying to get my way through life by - Carter quickly cut off his train of thought, bit down on his tongue again to suppress the anger that was bubbling up inside of him.

In truth, he had no one to be angry at except for himself - all the rage he felt was self inflicted and self directed, no one had forced his hand into anything. Hell, all Jenny even did was give him an offer with her badly done makeup and too stiff hair. She didn't threaten him, hold him at gun point, nor did she even use the "I'm rich and I can…" card.

No.

He had no one to blame except for himself, no one to call out except for his weak inner voice and pathetic conscious, which had decided to disappear the moment he saw the overdone platinum blonde. Why, he cursed himself as he fixed his gaze upon the shiny dark wood of the bar, why in fucking hell did I marry her? Why would I destroy whatever morality I'd somehow gained in the past few years?

Because you knew you couldn't live like that anymore, a soft voice in the back of his mind whispered.

That voice.

It was the only voice of reason Carter had ever possessed but it only seemed to appear when he was at rock bottom - never when he was about to hit rock bottom or if he was teetering. Just when he was lying on the ground, broken and bleeding, did that gentle, warm whispering of honesty and courage come to coo into his ear.

Guess mother dearest thinks I'm only worthy of her attention when I've fucked myself up so much that I'm practically dead, the handsome swindler mused darkly as he finally unlatched onto the wine glass.

Pulling out his phone, he saw that the black letters read a bold '12:05 PM'; glancing upward, he scanned the inside bar and dining area for any sign of a golden blonde mane or forever sun kissed skin but he found none. Before the disappointment could manifest itself into an urge to drink however, Carter placed down a wad of cash, walked out of the bar and to the outdoor patio in the front.

It seems that whatever architect designed the Cafe Sabarsky had lived in Paris and deemed it a worthy idea of mimicking the street magic that was in the City of Love. Surrounding the old world cafe was a black garret, carefully crafted and designed that circled around the entire outdoor patio; rose bushes planed on the sides would come peeking into the encircled arena, their curious heads swaying in the breeze. Sabarsky was located right on Fifth Avenue, allowing the blessed residents of the UES who wished to dine outside glimpses of other high end UES elites as they walked about on their daily business. It was a lackadaisical way to pass the time, watching as events unfurled before you; Cafe Sabarsky was a place where one could step outside of the realm of time and into his actual sofa, where they could sit with time and watch the people mill about and go around their daily lives.

It was a beautiful thing.

"Carter? You're late." A sweet - though somewhat scolding - voice broke into his revere as he suddenly spun around to see a sculpted Aphrodite before him, seated by a table close to the peeking roses at the corner of the cafe. A giant sun umbrella covered the area though Serena acted as the sun, glowing in the tenth month's daylight as she raised a brow towards the somewhat stunned man before her. "Seriously, Carter," she sighed as she crossed her arms over the chest of her deep purple military coat in annoyance. "You do realize that Chuck is more than happy to ship you right back to where you came from without hesitation but the only reason he hasn't yet is because I asked? The least you could do for me is show up on time."

Finally, a small smile made its way onto the disgraced Baizen heir's lips; the first true smile that had found itself upon his countenance in years. Only Serena would arrive at a cafe without looking for her host, take a seat at the outside terrance, and expect him to know exactly where she is.

Only Serena.

The smile grew.

"Sorry," he said briefly before easily pulling the chair across from her out, seating himself with ease. "I was inside the bar," he explained though he already knew she could probably smell the alcohol on his breath. "Just needed…"

"To get yourself wasted before you meet me?"

Another chuckle left his lips. "More along the lines of liquid courage."

A frown came upon her perfect brows, "liquid courage? Okay, nobody needs liquid courage when they talk to me - it's usually the other way around. Unless, of course, you harmed Chuck, Blair, or Nate in any shape, way, or form, then I will not hesitate to employ some of my boyfriend's contacts on you - including the ones he has in Uruguay."

An amused bubble of laughter left Carter's throat but also masked the small pocket of panic he felt rise inside of him. The Uruguay coal mines that Chuck had shipped him off to were beyond terrible. Nineteen hour work days in under the boiling hot sun or in a coal mine on the brink of collapse with a slave driver as the 'general manager'? He'd rather marry Jenny Humphrey - well, okay, maybe not marry her again but he'd be more than willing to go on a date or two with her again in order to avoid that fate.

"Listen Serena," he began carefully but found that he couldn't look into her wide blue eyes without feeling the guilt practically throw up inside of him. Quickly shifting his gaze to a lock of her golden blonde hair, he braved on. "I…I need to tell you about…Je-"

"Hello, my name is Miranda Varnes and I will your waitress for this afternoon. May I start you off with a glass of our light-"

"We're talking here," Carter suddenly cut in, his temple was throbbing with agitation and he could literally feel his left brow twitching. For the love of all…if this lady didn't skadaddle in the next five minutes, then the light buzz he had going on was going to evaporate and he was going to be left in a cold sweat, clammy, and unable to speak two words without stuttering. Taking a deep breath, he could feel the appalled look on the waitress's face as well as Serena's disapproving frown.

"I'm sorry, but we're just here to talk for a minute. Could you come back in ten minutes? We'll be ready to order by then," Carter instantly knew by the sweetness of Serena's charm that she was probably offering up one of her golden smiles and apologetic gestures towards him. When he finally felt the presence of the waitress gone, he lifted his head in gratitude only to be met by the miffed look on the van der Woodsen girl's face. "What the hell was that, Carter?" She hissed, annoyed.

The charming charlatan before her merely gave a dismissive shrug, "nothing of importance Serena, but I need you to list-"

"Listen to you?" She cut in annoyed, "look Carter, the only thing that I'm going to be doing right now is leaving. Chuck was right," she added under her breath as she began to stand up. "I should've ha-!" Her sentence was cut off by Carter physically grabbing her shoulders and yanking her back down into her seat. Her blue eyes widened to such comical proportions that had Carter not felt like he was going to faint at the moment, he would've cracked a joke at it at the blonde's expense.

"Please, Serena," be rushed out; he was literally squirming in his seat now, the buzz from the three glasses of wine he had was totally gone. "I-"

"You're insane!" Serena finally said back, her voice laced with irritation, shock, and belied hatred. "Carter, you just-"

"Chuck loves you, doesn't he?" He finally snapped, god damn it - she was going to hear this whether she liked it or not. Carter knew where to play his cards (even though his hand was short) and when he saw how her eyes had narrowed and her form had stilled, he continued. "He loves you so much and I can tell the guy is willing to bend over backwards for you - the fact that he gave up being a playboy? Serena, you got Chuck to settle down. My protege," he added with a weak chuckle.

"I'm not here to discuss childhood memories with you, Carter," the blonde said icily; the tone of her voice was similar to Chuck's that the Baizen absconder knew he was running short on time.

"Right, but you need to hear me out: Chuck would do anything to protect you but I also know you can protect yourself," he said in a rush. His compliment towards her survival skills must have hit home because she sat down then, a curious look in her eyes. "There's something that is of the utmost importance that you have to know-"

Just then, the perky brunette who had appeared moments prior walked back up to their table. "Are you ready to-"

"NO! WE ARE IN NO MEANS READY TO ORDER NOW OR EVER SO LEAVE US BE FOR GOD'S SAKE!" Without even missing a beat, Carter turned back to the bewildered blonde beauty before him and grasped her hand. "I'm married to Jenny Humphrey-"

"You did what?! Cart-"

"-in Europe at least, and I know that she's plotting something, Serena. She's already started to contact her bastard brother, Dan - something's wrong with their father, or their father is doing something wrong, I don't know. All I know is that Rufus Humphrey is in England right now. He left Florida after something about tax aversion or something, I can't remember but I know that dick head brother of hers is in trouble - he got into some deep shit with some important people few years back and now he's on the run. From what I can remember, I know that he was living in Paris before the news came-"

"Carter, who are the people that Dan got into trouble with?" Serena's voice was deceivingly calm, almost placating to a fault. Her entire face was expressionless.

The flush faced man before her could muster no answer as he shook his head, his eyes filled with a panic and guilt that overflowed to his very presence before her. His hands were shaking so much so that Serena had to literally clasp her left hand atop of his shaking one; glancing upward, she could see that whatever guilt he'd carried upon first marrying the girl who's family ruined her had hit him hard. And he'd carried that contrition with him for the last five years - building up inside of his very being with each passing hour until he finally could find no strength to ebb the pain away anymore.

Serena's heart opened to him when she saw that tormented look in his eye; it was the same one Chuck had worn when his father died: hopeless and lost, not knowing how to feel. At that, her expression softened towards the stuttering, shaking man seated in front of her, just ever so slightly.

"Carter...Carter tell me who it is that Dan got into trouble with." She coaxed, her voice was as temperate as the blue sea on a mild day, finally allowing the shaking man to meet her eyes.

"Sparks. Their name was Sparks."

Daniel Humphrey sat on the brown silk settee in his high rise suite at The Pierre Luxury Hotel, a mask of calm contemplation upon his countenance as he gazed out at the grand, city that never sleeps atop his veranda. The New York skyline was lovely during the night but the Brooklyn boy always preferred looking at it during the day - when he could see every detail, when he knew everything was exactly as he made it out to be.

He smirked.

That was how the 'poor, stupid Humphrey's' were able to knock down the 'strong, beautiful van der Woodsen's' now wasn't it? Oh, of course he felt the twinge of guilt erupt within himself every time he remembered the golden haired goddess to whom he had given his virginity to, but it couldn't really be helped - her beauty defined her and even the devil had to feel some remorse for playing with such a pretty relic.

In the dark haired boy's mind, he likened himself to something akin to a crime lord, a mob boss - someone dangerous and exciting, who lived life on the edge. He didn't play it safe - why should he? He was Daniel Humphrey, the man who nearly single handedly swiped away one of the largest fortunes on the Upper East Side! He was practically a living god amongst mortal men! He was Hermes on steroids!

Placing down the tumbler filled with scotch (though he would never admit it to anyone, he still didn't quite have the acquired, blue blood taste for a glass of the amber hued liquor, but it was the drink of the UES, so he supposed he'd have to suffer through), he arose from his seat, his dark eyes sharp as a hawk's. Walking closer to the veranda ledge, he leaned against the cream colored half wall that blocked him and his death, a somewhat mournful thought filtered into his mind. Would he ever be able to see his beloved Madeline again? If he closed his eyes, he could still smell the scent of her perfume: pears and something else warm and rich…a bourbon spiced vanilla? Maybe.

Damn Georgina Sparks to hell. Damn her to hell. Dan gritted his teeth in agitation; the bitch. After all he'd done for her! After all he still continued to do for her! How could she…? Did she suddenly develop a conscious? Did she learn she suddenly had three weeks to live and just miraculously decided to right her wrongs? In Dan's mind (and that of any other respectable breathing being) there was no way in hell Georgina Sparks would ever try to do a good deed unless she was either a) forced into it or b) she gained something out of it.

But as far as the Humphrey son could recall, the vindictive brunette had never been forced or coerced to do anything during their time together, that he was sure of. And she sure as hell wouldn't be gaining anything out of it - she was already wealthy so if it wasn't the money then…what was it? What did Georgina Sparks want with him?

She'd left him cryptic notes and even called Jenny; the dark haired vixen had mocked and taunted him until he'd snapped and did what he had to do to her. Rufus had always made sure that Dan grew up with some morals and those included never hitting a woman, but really - when provoked, what was a man to do? Take it? No. In the bastard Dan Humphrey's mind, he had somehow deluded himself into believing that beating a woman was right - and of course some part of him did feel guilty, but hey, didn't the witch need to get her due?

"After all I've done for these people…" Dan muttered under his breath as he looked out at the beautiful autumn landscape of New York's wealthiest, "this is how they repay me. With all this fucking shit that they've thrown at me…fucking hell…" shaking his head, Dan felt a great weight settle into his chest.

Is this what it felt like to be a martyr? Or a great savior?

He supposed it was a duty someone must carry - and he had been chosen to be the bearer of such a great and unholy responsibility - if someone would just get them off his back.

"Hi, is this Eric van der Woodsen? No? Oh, well could you patch him through?" A pause. "Ah, he's out is he? That's all right - oh, no, no message. Thank you," a female voice said, polite to the very end and dripping in a pleasant refinement that was the pinnacle of loveliness. "Who's calling? Oh, why, just say…an old friend. Thank you."

Click.

The woman at the phone booth gave a sardonic smile before stepping out into the busy streets of Chicago, her purse slung over her shoulder before pulling out her cell phone.

"Bass? It's me. He's here."

Click.

Now, all my readers here, who's afraid of the big bad wolf? No one? Oh. Well, who's afraid of King C with an agenda? All of us? Hm. Then it's a good thing we're not on his hit list because it looks like our playboy turned businessman turned boyfriend turned daddy-to-be has something he wants to wash his hands clean of and he's recruited the cast of a lifetime to pull it off.

I've always loved a good theater show but I've never been much for the acting. Directing? That's more me, but then again, being a casual observer has always had a finesse and certain charm.

Even better? Being a casual observer who knows exactly how the play is going to end (that's me here, readers), and I'll keep you updated on every juicy detail.

And oh, seems like Queen B has gone to visit an acquaintance of sorts in the windy city, but shh...don't tell N! He's not supposed to know...

xoxo,

Gossip Girl

A/N: Writing Carter is so much fun because he is the epitome of a tortured man trying to become a better person while the whole world conspires to keep him down. I also loved, loved, loved writing Jenny in the pervious chapter because she's just so pathetic that you can't help but want to emphasize that point even more!

So, I gave you all a longer tidbit on Dan and yeah, he's pretty much turned into a conceited jackass who can't see past the bridge of his nose. Honestly.

Anyone want to take a crack at who the anonymous caller is? I won't say but she loves to make a hell of a good entrance LOL

Leave me a review! (Box is right there!)