"...English..."
"...Bulgarian..."
'...thoughts...'
...Flashbacks and letters...
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Denial
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December 27th, 1992
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When Alex and his wife came downstairs their thoughts were still on their youngest. Alexander noticed the boy was not his usual self as soon as he returned from England. He tried talking to him but Andrei would claim everything was fine and change subject immediately. It was ten o'clock and Sofia has already made breakfast. All Andrei's favorites. The only problem was that Andrei still hasn't gotten up. There were footsteps in the hallway, but Alex recognized them as Viktor's.
"Andi's not up yet?"
"Nope, but his presents are here!" Viktor replied cheerfully.
Viktor was ecstatic every time some present arrived. It did not matter whose name was on the gift card or whose birthday nor which holiday it was. Last year Andrei was appalled when half of his presents had been opened even before he woke up. It was his greatest concern yesterday so he asked his father to keep Viktor away from them this year. Alex has completely forgotten the simple request, and judging by Viktor's glee he has gotten a hold of at least few.
Alex felt a bit guilty and was hoping Vik got the message last year after facing Andrei's wrath and New Year retribution. Anyway there was nothing he could do now. Instead he decided to use Andi's absence to ask Viktor what he knew of the matter at hand.
"Vik, how's Andy doing? Have you noticed anything different about him?"
Viktor raised his head, distracted from stealing a doughnut from the bowl on the table. Sofia slapped his hand away so he took a seat.
"Well, not really."
"Would you elaborate on that answer?"
"He seemed a bit distant after that night, but maybe I've just imagined it."
"I don't think you have. I thought it was something about Severus, he seemed fine to me when I picked you two up at Durmstrang, but if he was like this before it probably wasn't."
"Have you talked to Sev?"
"Yes, we exchanged letters, but Severus said everything was as usual, other then him being preoccupied at Hogwarts that is."
The stairs thundered under Andrei's feet a second before he showed up at the doorway.
"'Morning, everyone!" he exclaimed cheerfully.
He went to his Mum who was still putting the last of the wide assortment of dishes on the table and kissed her on the cheek, thanking her for breakfast. They both joined Alex and Vik at the table.
"What are you so happy about?" Sofia inquired.
"It's my birthday, Mum!"
"Yes we are quite aware of that fact, son, but you weren't so happy yesterday." Alex stated, taking the hot dog.
"Well, yesterday wasn't my birthday." Andrei smirked.
Viktor laughed while Alex seemed a bit put off.
"Severus sent you a birthday card with a letter for Alex." Sofia beamed.
Andrei mumbled something and Viktor's eyes widened.
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that?" Alex said raising his eyebrow.
"I said I better see it later." Andrei replied.
Alexander looked at his sons suspiciously but decided to change a subject... slightly.
"So, you never said how your visit with Sev went."
"He was busy doing something for Hogwarts. You've heard about the Chamber of Secrets."
"Yes, unfortunately. I hope they catch the perpetrator."
"He believes it to be Riddle." Andrei said between the bites.
Alexander and Sofia nearly choked on their food.
"What?"
"Yeah, he thinks it's Voldemort because he is the only heir of Slitherin left, and that's who seems to be behind it."
"Oh, Merlin..." Alexander sighed.
"Is this what's been bothering you since you returned?" Sofia asked softly.
"Yeah, a bit." he lied.
"Oh, honey! Don't worry... Dad and I are here to protect you!"
"I know Mum, but he is the dark lord."
"And let's not forget you've got me at your side too!" Viktor said importantly.
"And how's that going to help me?" and then he exclaimed as he remembered, "Hey, you're right, I could levitate you and throw you at his head. He might snap his neck under your considerable weight..." Andi looked lost in thought.
"Yeah, very funny!" Viktor mocked, but smiled nevertheless.
"Joke aside, you're safe here, Andi. We all are. Don't worry."
"I know, Dad. That's also why I wanted to return here."
Alexander and Sofia smiled, but Viktor narrowed his eyes at his brother and Andrei just knew Vik had not bought a single word of his story.
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"Speak!"
Viktor entered his brother's room as soon as he heard their parents go to bed that evening. Andrei was overly happy that whole day and Viktor couldn't stand it anymore. He could understand his enthusiasm about presents from his friends, which was a huge pile right next to the Christmas tree making it all look like a New Year came early, but not this grinning non-stop kind of excitement. Combined with the 'Better burn it' comment from earlier (yes, Viktor has heard it clearly even though his parent haven't) it was a good cause for concern.
"It doesn't matter."
"You've been miserable at school and even more so the last few days! Why are you so manically happy now?"he stared at Andi whose face was glistening from tears in the lamplight, "Unless... you're not."
Viktor approached the bed Andrei was sitting on and wiped his tears. It amazed him how small Andrei looked like this. Viktor hasn't seen him cry since he was a toddler, he always found something to be happy about. And now seeing Andi's whole miserable face fit into his hand made his big brother instincts kick in full force as his heart squeezed in his chest.
"Hey, talk to me, kiddo. What's wrong?" he whispered.
"Leave it, Vik, please."
"Is it what happened at school? You've..."
"No."
"Which leaves Sev."
Andrei nodded and his tears were now sliding down his face like a small waterfall.
"Andi, what happened? Why did you come back so soon? I wish I went with you!"
"I wanted to run away from you." Andrei sobbed into his chest.
"From me? Why in the world would you do that?" Vik asked, petting the head resting on his chest. He made them both comfortable on the huge bed never letting go of the distraught boy.
"I... I couldn... couldn't stand... being around...I wanted... wanted to leave..."
Viktor was starting to understand. He was hoping ever since the Halloween it wouldn't come to this. He was furious that that kid at Durmstrang chose his face when trying to harm the person most precious to him.
"And now?"
"I ... I was … stupid"
"Shhh... You were not stupid, Andi. You felt betrayed even if it didn't make sense. I understand." he whispered in his ear.
"He doesn't... lo...love me."
And now Viktor was puzzled. 'What brought this on? Who doesn't love him?'. But he got his questions answered as soon as Andrei got enough breath to continue.
"He... he didn't... want me there."
"What? Of course he did Andi! He is always trilled to see you."
Andrei shook his head furiously. As he shifted Viktor could see wet spots forming on his nightshirt from Andi's tears.
"He prefers to be with... with... his..."
"With who, kiddo?"
"His... lo...lover..."
Viktor's face would've been the same if Andi had slapped him. 'Sev with a lover? No way!'
"Andi, why do you think... he has a lover?" he hesitated. It wouldn't do to upset the boy even more.
"A letter... and... he... he... looked... like... likethat... when he came home..."
'Oh Merlin! Severus has a lover!', he thought, but he also knew this was not the fact that got his brother upset. He would want his Dad happy so there was no reason to be angry at him.
"Are you upset about his lover or him not telling you before it all started?" he asked cautiously.
But Andrei could not hear his question, he was too immersed in his own anger and misery.
"And... and he..." Andrei burst into full blown sobs again and Viktor was rocking him, worried, "he...spent the... the last ...day..." Andrei started choking on his tears.
Viktor looked down at him and pushed him away from his chest so he could see his face. Andi's blue eyes were red rimmed from crying but what scared him was the panic in those huge orbs. He was struggling for breath and it took Viktor a few seconds to figure out what was happening.
He jumped of the bed and ran into the bathroom connected to the room. Throwing the cupboard door open he knocked over the potions and toiletries in his haste until he found what he was looking for. He grabbed the small inhaler and ran back to his brother's side.
Pushing the medicine in Andi's mouth he waited for him to take a breath. He could feel the tears rolling down his face too. He was scared. They were all alone and it wouldn't do to bring his Dad here at this moment. It would upset Andi even more. But Andrei needed help, and what if what he could do wasn't enough.
The train of his dark thoughts was interrupted when Andi finally took a steady breath. Viktor hugged him lightly, pressing his cheek to Andi's head, rubbing his back. He wiped away his own tears as he felt Andrei's steady breath on his collarbone. He carefully shifted them knowing by the weight on his hands his brother fell asleep. He lowered him to the bed and drew the thick covers over both of them. Watching the tear stained face in front of him he finally drifted off to sleep too.
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Alexander was mumbling under his breath. Sofia made scrambled eggs that morning and his were getting cold on the abandoned plate in the dining room. The two reasons why he abandoned it were peacefully sleeping upstairs.
"Wake the kids, ant then we'll eat!" he heard Sofia's angry voice from the kitchen.
Waking Andrei was Viktor's job, but Viktor overslept himself. He threw open his eldest son's door and froze on the doorstep. Viktor's bed was already made. He went to the small bathroom but the light was off. 'Where in the world is he!'.
He went to wake Andrei looking around for Viktor along the way. What he saw when he entered the room made his heart melt, all of the anger vanishing. His boys were in the bed together spooned up next to each other seeking warmth. They both looked so young sleeping like that, that Alex couldn't find it in his heart to wake them. He turned on his tiptoes to leave the room but what he saw out of the corner of his eye made him stop in his tracks. Inhaler. Andrei hasn't used it that often and the implication of it standing on the night table made his heart nearly stop.
He leaned over the boys, listening to Andrei's breaths, and he calmed a little. What ever made him use it most likely passed. And it certainly explained what Viktor was doing in his bed. He took the pump and went to the bathroom to put it away. Again he stopped short on the doorstep. The bathroom was a mess. Spilled potions in the sink and shattered glass and bottles around it.
Alex closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 'Which ever boy did this was in panic to find the medicine' he thought, and that scared him. But what terrified him was that they didn't ask for any help. He was supposed to be there for them, but how was he going to do that if they didn't trust him with their problems. Viktor was sixteen already and was already self sufficient and quite capable of taking care of himself, Alexander made sure of it. He wouldn't let either of his son's leave his sight before they very fully aware of what they would be confronting in the messed up world they lived in. But even if Andrei could take care of himself he wished he wouldn't, he wished he could care for his little boy just a while longer.
"Evanesco. Scourgify." he whispered pointing the wand at the mess.
The glass shards disappeared and the potion residue vanished from the sink. He picked up the other bottles and lined them in the cabinet, putting the inhaler in the visible place next to it.
Passing the sleeping boys he left the room. 'I'll ask Viktor what happened later' but as the thought occurred to him he knew Viktor would be tight lipped. Even though he didn't like to think about it, he knew his boys to the core, and they would both see his prying as invasion of their privacy and would probably be embarrassed if he asked about their sleeping arrangements.
Walking back into the kitchen he met Sofia's curious gaze.
"Let them sleep a bit longer, there was a lot of excitement yesterday." he said.
Sofia didn't ask anything and he thought it was for the best. He didn't want to worry her about something he decided to push in the back of his mind himself. The boys had each other and if they needed his help they would ask for it, after all they always did before.
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Viktor watched Andrei stir next to him. He woke up a few minutes ago and noticed it was almost noon. He figured their parents have let them sleep in and probably suspected something was going on. 'After all Dad's already guessed there was a problem yesterday'.
"Good morning."
"Hey, what time is it?" Andrei asked untangling himself from covers.
"It's nearly afternoon. That's all I know."
"What!" Andrei moved to get up.
"Andrei, wait!" Viktor took his hand and pulled the covers over him again "Have you talked to Sev before you left?"
"No."
"I think you should."
Andrei started shaking his head.
"Andi, listen. I know he loves you! So much more then the guy he might be seeing!"
"Is seeing." Andrei quietly corrected.
Viktor sighed.
"Promise me you won't tell anyone, Vik!"
"As long as you promise that sooner or later you'll talk to him."
"Fine."
"And that you will not avoid him like you did me this term. It doesn't do anyone any good."
"All right, but I'll do it in my own time." Andrei got up and walked to the bathroom.
"I just hope your time won't be too late, kiddo..." Viktor whispered as he sagged back in the bed.