"...English (speech)..."
'...thoughts...'
.
.`.`.`.`~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.
.
False Friends and Coerced Choices
.
October 10th, 1993
.
Andrei felt like banging his head against the desk, but it wouldn't help him solve those wretched equations any sooner. The only sound in the classroom was that of furious scribbling, but he just couldn't focus on the task at hand. It didn't help any that he spent the whole week with Mikhail and hasn't even touched his books.
A crumpled paper was thrown on his desk and he picked it up, glad he wasn't the only one whose mind wasn't on numbers and equations. Sit with us at lunch.
He stole a glance at Alvin who had his eyebrows raised waiting for an answer, and frowned, but he also felt a little guilty for spending so much time with Mikhail and ignoring his friends. Alvin shrugged, indicating it wasn't anything specific, they just missed him. Andrei gave a slight nod in return.
.
.`.`.`.`~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.
.
As luck would have it Mikhail was waiting for him after class. Andrei told Alvin to wait and went to his boyfriend. He stood on his toes and pecked him on the lips, but Mikhail decided that wasn't enough and proceeded sucking at his lips. Andrei pulled away before it got too heated and leaned into the taller boy's shoulder.
"I'm going to sit with my friends today, maybe I'll also go out with them later…."
Mikhail frowned. "You could have told me that sooner, before I came to get you."
"I've just decided. Alvin's waiting, I'll see you later." He smiled and tried to get away.
"Sure." Mikhail said but instead of letting go he showed him just how much he'd be missed. They were interrupted by a cough from Alvin, the other students have already left. Andrei turned and smiling from ear to ear went with his best friend to meet Maarika.
.
.`.`.`.`~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.
.
Andrei, Maarika and Valentin sat on the blanket playing exploding snaps. Alvin was playing with his wand and levitating a few smaller rocks, making patterns in the air.
"Have you heard from Viktor?" Maarika asked sheepishly.
"Nope, Mr. Superstar is probably too busy training or something."
"Are your mum and dad with him now? You said they would all go, since he is a minor."
"Mum is, dad had to return to work at Ministry. You're still... interested in Viktor?" he smirked.
"No! I'm just worried about him, he's your brother!", she blushed.
"Yeah... I kinda miss him too." Andrei pouted.
"Oh, stop whining you two. He is having a better time than any of us, with all that's happening." Alvin let the rocks fall to ground in frustration.
"But I think Andrei is having a great time! Aren't you, Andi?" Maarika teased.
"Never better, Maar." He gave her a blinding smile.
"Yeah, but I'm so bored! From five our company is down to three."
"Hey! I'm still here!" Andrei objected.
"Sure you are. Face it, Andi, you spend one day a week with us, and the rest is reserved for your boyfriend, not that I blame you...", Alvin frowned.
"You implying you like my boyfriend, Al?"
"Nope, he's all yours, but it bothers me that you are no longer ours."
"Of course I am!" Andrei jumped from his seat and enveloped Alvin in a hug. Alvin screamed and fell to the ground under Andrei's weight. They rolled on the ground while Maarika laughed. Valentin was the only one who noticed a group of students approaching them.
"Well, aren't you a little slut? What would your boyfriend say if he saw you groping another boy?"
Alvin and Andrei disentangled themselves and scrambled to their feet. Maarika stood up to.
"Why don't you mind your own business?" Alvin replied to the bulky boy twice his size.
"Protecting your little lover, aren't you?" the giant sneered.
"Leave us alone! We haven't done anything to you." Andrei demanded.
"Of course, now that your big brother is gone you are of the leash... You think you can have any cock you want?"
"And he is pretty insatiable by the looks of it." Another boy added.
"Look how flushed he is now that everyone knows his secret." Another girl put in.
"Let's just go, guys." Andrei helped Maarika pick up their stuff. Alvin still stood glaring at the three students, but he was smart enough to know he'd never win if he started a fight against them.
They left for the castle, leaving the other three laughing.
.
.`.`.`.`~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.
.
October 21th, 1993.
.
"I can't believe it! Konstantinov messed up my potion!"
Valentin, Alvin and Andrei raised their heads from their lunch and looked at distraught Maarika.
"What did Espen say?" Andrei asked.
"Nothing! He didn't see a thing, but Konstantinov waited for the exact moment to throw something in and it just blew up." She flailed her hands to show them what happened.
"Konstantinov sucks at potions, there's no way he knew what to add or when." Alvin said.
"I can't believe it, I'll fail potions because of that git!" her eyes started to water and she rubbed her eyes furiously.
"Don't worry, Maar. I'll talk to Espen. If anything, Konstantinov chose the wrong class to mess with you." Andrei said embracing his friend, while Alvin petted her back.
Valentin watched them, feeling bad for not being able to help.
.
.`.`.`.`~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.
.
October 29th, 1993
.
Andrei sat at the library going through the past issues of Daily Prophet he ordered to be mailed to him. It was a long wait, but he supposed it wasn't easy to send three months worth of daily papers, especially to deliver it all the way from England. He read through all of them and figured he found what he's been looking for for the past few hours.
"Thought I'd find you here, bookworm..." Valentin teased.
"Hey… feel free to have a seat."
"Don't mind if I do. What's this mess you made all about?" Valentin waved his hand in the general direction of cut up papers, marked articles, scribbled parchment and one overturned inkpot, but spilled ink probably couldn't even reach the surface of the table through all the notes lying around.
"Just looking up something. But I guess I knew this before I even started."
"Something interesting? It has to be for you to start at…" Valentin stopped, looking at the papers in front of him."September 1981? Wait… Daily Prophet? Didn't know you were into English history?
"Did you know Sirius Black managed to escape Azkaban this summer?"
"Mhm, I know, it was the braking news. Everyone's been talking about it. They say Hogwarts is bringing dementors to school, can you believe it?"
"Yeah… I was looking for some info about him, but it seems he was only found out as a Death Eater after Voldemort's downfall." Valentin flinched and Andrei looked at him curiously.
"You shouldn't say his name." Valentin mumbled.
"There's not much more he can do to me then what he already has…" Andrei hasn't even realized he said it aloud.
"What do you mean? What could he have done to you? We were born after his downfall."
Andrei didn't bother thinking long on that answer "Yeah, but my dad was a Death Eater and it still follows us around sometimes. And with all that happened last year with Lisovskii, I am not too fond of Death Eaters…"
"Yeah, I guess you're right… so what did you find on Black?"
Andrei was not so much surprised as disappointed that Valentin knew about Lisovskii being a Death Eater. Valentin's dad was one too, so it would make sense Val knew about those things. So he convinced himself it didn't mean his friend knew anything more than that.
.
.`.`.`.`~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.
.
November 23rd, 1993
.
Andrei tried to ignore everyone who looked at him like he was the worst scum on earth, but it still got to him. Every day there would be someone calling him or his friends names, trying to jinx him or sabotage their work. When Alexander told him people might act differently this wasn't what he expected. A few students who changed their behavior towards him he could handle, but it seemed the whole school was against him now… even those who used to like him before.
He walked through deserted corridors, on his way back to dorms. He was thinking about telling Viktor, but what would he be able to do? Even professors couldn't help since most of the hostility took place after classes. He also wouldn't worry Alexander who had to deal with the real Death Eaters over there.
He was pulled from his thoughts by a hand around his waist. He was led to a classroom, his neck being sensually sucked all the way there. If Mikhail wanted something he got it, he learned that a long time ago, but the problem was that he was equally stubborn and he didn't feel like kissing right now. As soon as the door closed he pulled himself out of Mikhail's arms.
"What's wrong?" the older boy protested.
"Sorry, I don't feel like it."
Mikhail observed him with narrowed eyes and Andrei has never seen him this angry.
"You've been avoiding me this whole week!"
"I 'm not avoiding you! We are together every day!"
"But you spend all your time with your friends! I only get to see you in the evening now!"
"What! That's not true! And they are complaining I spend all my time with you!"
"And of course you will listen to your friends! Who cares about what I think!"
"You're being an idiot! And I don't want to talk to you when you're like this!"
He started for the door, but Mikhail embraced him from behind, nuzzling his neck.
"Ok, I'm sorry, baby. But can't you see that Alvin is jealous? He doesn't want you to spend time with me."
Andrei turned to look at Mikhail's eyes.
"Ok, now I know you're insane. Alvin and Maarika just miss spending time with me, and I don't know who told you all that, but he is most certainly not jealous."
"People are saying things about you that I don't like, Andi. I don't want to believe it, but please don't spend so much time with him."
Andrei's face darkened at the mention of those stupid rumors.
"I'll spend as much time with him or anyone else as I like! And if you think I'm cheating on you…"
"No! No, please, come on, baby, don't be mad at me, it's just that they're calling you names because of it, and I don't want them to talk about my boyfriend like that."
"They are not going to stop being jerks just because I don't spend time with Alvin, Mika. They'll find something else to latch onto. It's not my fault their life mission is to humiliate me or make me a bad guy in all this!"
"Why would they wanna do that? Maybe if you …", Andrei looked at him furiously, "Ok… I'm sorry I mentioned it. Please, let's just forget about it for now… I missed you…"
This time when Mikhail went for a kiss Andrei reluctantly indulged him. Very soon, though, he was lost in pleasure and comfort Mikhail offered.
.
.`.`.`.`~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.
.
December 9th,1993
.
The whole student body seemed to be in the dining hall. Andrei ate his breakfast until a girl next to him screamed and toppled her chair over. He and Alvin stood up to help her as she was trying to get back on her feet. As soon as Alvin touched her hand to ask if she was alright she wrenched it away and ran from the hall. Some students watched in confusion, while some were hiding their laughter behind cups or napkins.
Andrei just stared at the girl's plate and he felt all the pent up rage boil in him. But once again there was nothing he could do, so he sat back down.
"What the heck happened?" Alvin scratched his brow as he sat down himself.
"Look at her plate."
All his friends did and what they saw made their eyes widen in disbelief. There was something that looked suspiciously like a small puddle of blood but it was slowly turning brown.
"Mudblood. ", Andrei spit out the word," Someone went out of their way to show her what they think of her."
"I thought she was a half-blood" Alvin asked.
"She is. I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Her Mum is muggle and her Dad died when she was little. She lived with her mum like a muggle until she got a Durmstrang invitation." Maarika explained.
"How do you know all that?" Andrei asked. Not many people advertised those facts at Durmstrang.
"She is in the dorm next to mine. Sometimes she comes for a sleepover if her roommates feel particularly vicious about it."
"Has she told anyone? A professor?"
"Who is she supposed to talk to? Karkaroff? He used to be a Death Eater, remember?
"There are other professors at this school too." Alvin supplied.
"Yeah. Andrei, whose dad can make a headmaster piss his pants, never said anything to any of them, and you expect her to speak up. And it's not like half of the staff wasn't here to see what just happened."
"I've lost my appetite." Andrei stated, his face still flushed from anger and helplessness.
"Never thought I'd see the day." Alvin tried to make a joke but it fell on deaf ears.
"Why don't you just give up? You know what they say, if you can't beat them…" a small voice came from across the table.
All three of them turned to Valentin who had spoken.
Andrei leaned over the table and whispered to him. "Join them? Are you insane? They call me a whore, a slut, a bastard and since we have a lady in our company I won't even mention some of the worse things. And you seriously want me to join them?" Andrei asked incredulously.
Valentin seemed a little uncomfortable but he stood his ground. "They wouldn't be calling you all that if you were one of them."
For a second Andrei didn't know what to think. On one hand he would never make himself bow at their feet, but on the other Valentin may be on to something. Still, it made him wonder how long has this been on his friend's mind. Whenever someone said something hurtful to them Valentin backed off and he was never at the line of fire. He was always ignored while he, Alvin and Maarika stood up for themselves. He kept himself as far from Andrei as he could while still being in his company. Was Alexander right about him?
"No, but he might be calling himself things far worse than that if he joined them! Does traitor ring the bell, Val?" Alvin replied, since Andrei was silent for a moment too long.
Valentin just frowned at him and turned back to his breakfast. Andrei, on the other hand, felt the same frustration but for a different reason. He finally found out where his friend's true allegiance lies.
.
.`.`.`.`~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.
.
December 20th,1993
Andrei was sick of writing lies and sending them off to his family. In the past few weeks life became a nightmare, but of course he wouldn't share that with anyone who didn't already know about it.
He'd be lucky if he could get away from insults and curses for more than an hour at time and his friends weren't fairing much better. Mikhail on the other hand was good at avoiding the all around hostility focused on his boyfriend. As a matter of fact nothing bad ever happened when he was around Mikhail. It made him wonder if Mikhail was of same opinion as Valentin. It also made him wonder if he would even survive this year if he didn't change his… or at least adapt it a bit to fit his situation.
Would Alexander be disappointed in him if he gave in, even if he still kept his beliefs? Is that how he and Severus became Death Eaters, had someone pressured them into it too? If he did this, would he stop short of taking a mark some day? He didn't know any of these things but he figured if things don't change soon, he'd be well on his way to find out.
He sealed two letters. One for Alex and one for his mum and Viktor. He was disgusted with himself and how lies and deception came naturally to him. Hoof showed up and grudgingly took the letters in his beak. With the last disapproving glare at Andrei he flamed away. Andrei couldn't help but feel even worse.
He left Alvin to get ready for class and left the dorm.
He walked the corridors, not really paying attention to where he was going or who was there. He was past caring who looked at him the wrong way as long as they kept their mouth shut.
"Andi! Wait up!"
Andrei turned to see Valentin running towards him with a bag on his shoulder and a smile on his face.
"What put you in such a good mood?"
"Guess who has a date with Tina this evening…"
"Well, it was about time! I'm happy for you, mate." Andrei laughed. He was surprised it almost came naturally to him, since by now he was mostly repulsed by Val's company… but it might be because he considered him a friend for so long. He wondered now when exactly he stopped feeling that way about him. Maybe it was even before Valentin let his suggestion slip at dinner that day.
"I asked her last night, and she didn't even wait for me to finish the question! She agreed at 'Will you...'!"
"Well you could have just finished with '…be my wife? ' and save yourself the trouble." Andrei smirked.
Valentin laughed, and once again Andrei was impressed by his own acting skills.
A loud bang interrupted them and a wave of water hit their feet. It came from around the corner so they went to see what's going on. What they found was a small group of students waiting with their wands raised at them. Instinctively Andrei pulled out his, but was immediately disarmed by one of them. A boy caught his wand with ease and swished it in some pattern muttering a spell.
"Hold on, everyone! Don't hurt them yet. I want a duel with a shirtlifter!" another spoke and they all laughed as the first boy threw Andrei his wand back.
Andrei caught it and was about to protect himself when a booming voice of a school healer pierced the air.
"What have you done!" she shrieked when she saw the mess.
"It was Krum, Madam."
Andrei was about to protest just as he realized where they were. The door to the stock room for hospital wing was hanging off its hinges, blown away by the flood that must have ruined most of the potions and supplies inside. He looked around in realization. The spell the boy did with his wand was the same one they probably used to make this mess. All the proof would be against him. But Valentin saw it all, so…
"Mr. Rangelov, Mr. Krum, is this true?"
Andrei was relieved she didn't believe that guy, but only for a moment. His heart sank as Valentin nodded.
"Mr. Krum! How dare you! You will go to Headmaster's office this instant!"
Andrei sighed. He should have known Valentin wouldn't back him up.
"On my way, Madam." He said through his teeth.
She gasped and he realized too late she thought his scowl was directed at her.
"Such disrespect! I never expected this from you, Mr. Krum!" her voice echoed through the corridor as he made his way to Karkaroff's office.
.
.`.`.`.`~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.
.
Andrei stood in front of the Headmaster's desk as Karkaroff explained to Alexander what happened. Alexander was looking at him all along while he listened but Andrei was determined not to look his way.
"There were a lot of students there, Alexander. I can't cover this up, he must be punished in some way."
Alexander nodded and turned to Andrei who stood staring at the wall in front of him.
"Could you give us a moment, Igor?"
"I am going to check the damage and talk to our Healer. It will give you enough time to sort this out." He said and left the room.
Alexander was still observing Andrei. He didn't speak, probably expecting Andrei to say something in his defense.
"Did you do it?" he asked casually, but Andrei could see the effort it took for him to stay calm.
"Yes." he answered. He'd be damned if after all he said in his letters he let Alex in on the truth now.
"Any particular reason for that?"
"If you want me to say I'm sorry then I will, but I don't think it would help any, or would it? "
"I asked for a reason, not apologies, Andrei."
"It was a dare. It seemed like a good idea at the time." he lied.
Alexander deflated a bit and turned to the window.
"I don't understand this, Andrei. If something is bothering you, please, just tell me. If this is some misguided attempt to seek attention…"
"It's not. It was a stupid dare, and I really am sorry, dad" he felt like crying, if only Alex knew how close he was to the truth.
Alexander turned back and looked straight into his eyes. "Is it Severus? You think because he acted the way he did, none of us would care if you decided to start ruining your life?"
"I know you care, dad. I told you it had nothing to do with you. I just wasn't thinking."
"I find that hard to believe."
The pity in Alex' eyes and the blind belief he had in him hurt Andrei more than a slap in the face ever could. He just had to push him away somehow.
"Well maybe that's because you keep seeing Viktor in me! He would always think things through! I'm not as perfect as he is! And I never will be, just face it, dad!" he said bitterly, glaring at his shocked father.
"Is that what you think? Andrei, I love you just as much as I do Viktor, and I always will! Still, I do know you are your own person, just as I also know that that person does nothing without a thought to consequences." Alexander argued.
"And the one time I don't you are disappointed in me!"
Alexander shook his head slowly. "I won't say I'm not, it would be a lie. But I know you are better than this and I believe you know that too."
"I do. And don't worry… nothing like this will ever happen again. I promise. It was stupid and I know that now."
"I hope so, Andrei. This time I'll let Karkaroff come up with some disciplinary action. I won't stop him. And I want this to be the first and the last time I'm called to this school because of something like this."
Andrei could do nothing but nod, even though on the inside he was breaking apart at the thought of what it would cost him to keep that promise.
.
.`.`.`.`~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*`.`.`.`.
.
January 8th, 1994
.
With nowhere else to go during the holidays, Andrei stayed at school. After spending so much time with Mikhail, Andrei thought about everything that's been happening lately. The past few days have been amazingly quiet. Other students have left him alone and it was a welcome change, although he knew for some time why that was. He had a very disturbing and very real suspicion he was being played. In his opinion, there was really only one way to deal with the whole situation: if they wanted to break him and humiliate him, let them think they succeeded.
That evening Andrei sat in the charms classroom waiting for Mikhail. After dinner he told his boyfriend to be here at eleven and that he had a surprise for him. He was a bit uncomfortable sitting on a cold desk in nothing but his robes but he figured it would be worth it. He just hoped this whole plan would work. If yes he would have the upper hand for once and follow Valentin's advice to join those he can not beat… hopefully without them suspecting he didn't really change his mind. After all, doesn't the saying go '… keep your enemies closer'? This way he would be able to keep his promise to Alex while being able to protect his friends. If he had any luck he would also gain more insight on the matter of Voldemort… However if the whole idea backfires… he would be in so much worse situation then he already was.
Mikhail entered the room and shut the door hastily behind him.
"Don't think I'm not glad to see you or anything, but why wait until after curfew?"
Andrei slid his arms around his neck and pulled him forward to the table. He took Mikhail's hand and guided it under the unbuttoned part of his robe, so the other boy could feel his naked chest.
Mikhail's eyes widened as he caressed the smooth skin there, but moments later he pulled away as if he was burned.
"Wow! Wait! Hold on! This is not right…"
"Why? I thought this was what you wanted?" Andrei buttoned his robe up to his throat with trembling fingers. 'This was way too close!'
"No! I mean, yes! Well, yes, but not yet!"
"Well, it's been three months so I thought…"
"Andrei, you've only turned twelve, you can't seriously be thinking about going through with this!"
"Oh, so you think I'm too young?"
"I don't think, I know! I mean, look at you! You probably don't even know what you're asking me to do!"
"I didn't really think you cared. Isn't this all for show?"
"What?"
"You all wanted to humiliate Krum's son, right? Valentin told you I'd do anything to be with you, so you and your friends decided to play a bit. None of them bothered me when we were together so I would feel safe around you. How am I doing so far?"
"Andrei…"
"I thought you'd jump at the chance to have sex with me, but that's where I was wrong… It's ok to kiss and hug and talk nonsense but you are too repulsed to have to really touch me."
Mikhail was stunned, just the way Andrei suspected he would be. If he wasn't Andrei truly didn't want to think about consequences of his plan. Having sex at twelve is so not on his agenda.
"No, Andrei, please let me expla…" Mikhail was confused, so Andrei took that as his cue.
"I want in! I don't want to have to fight everyone all the time anymore. I want what you have. I want to kiss you and not be called a slut. I want to spend time with my friends without being jinxed and cursed all the time… I want it, no matter what it takes!"
If Andrei wasn't so absorbed in his role of a desperate lover, he might have laughed at the expression on Mikhail's face. The boy was stunned into silence. 'So, close…Please, let this work! Don't let him suspect!' Mikhail blinked a couple of times and finally spoke.
"Ok. I'll talk to the others."
Andrei could have laughed in relief. Instead he just asked what was expected of him to ask in given situation.
"What about us?"
"I thought you wouldn't want to be with me after all you said?"
Andrei thought hard about the answer. 'Of course I wouldn't, you idiot… but how long would I last in Death Eater club without you?'
"Call me stupid, or whatever else you want, but I still like you. I understand you don't like me, but still…" ok… this was even physically hard for him to say.
"There's one thing you got wrong in all that. I'm not repulsed to touch you. I don't want that to happen because I would feel like I'm using you, and with you being so much younger… I don't know if even I am ready for that step…But honestly, I didn't love you when you first approached me, and yes, I was a bit grossed out because you were only eleven, but not anymore. Geez, Andrei, you figured all this out and somehow turned everything the way that suits you. That's not what a usual twelve year-old does... So, what I'm trying to say is that I really like you too. But no sex though! Not yet!"
"Ok… so kisses and hugs?" Andrei asked uncertainly. 'Well… at least he is good looking…'
"That might work." he pulled Andrei close and kissed him passionately. "I'm glad you decided to join our side."
"Yeah, me too." Andrei wasn't sure how much of those three words was a lie at the time. He was glad he wouldn't take crap from others anymore, but he knew he was betraying everyone who ever believed in him, even if he only wanted to protect them.