Hindsight

Summary: "Ten years," James whispered to his wife. "We've been dead for Ten years… how is this possible?" Ten years after the tragedy at Godric's Hollow, James and Lily come back to life and find their world turned upside down.

Chapter 8

"Rise and shine, love."

Harry groaned, flopping over and shoving his face into a pillow. He was having too good of a dream to get up for chores. "A few more minutes, Uncle Vernon."

He heard a scandalized gasp. "I'm not nearly as rotund as your uncle, am I?"

The boy, realizing where he was, scrambled over his blankets and reached for his glasses, which were sitting on his bedside table. He shoved them on and grinned at his parents, who were sitting on either side of him. "You're here!"

Lily frowned as she grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "My, my, James. It seems like Harry's having quite a hard time believing we're real. How can we possibly prove it to him?"

"Pinch him?" the man suggested. "Or maybe we should find out if he's just as ticklish as he used to be."

"Wait no! I believe it! Honest!" Harry shouted. He squirmed away from them and they laughed when he fell off the bed in the process. "Good morning!"

"Good morning, darling," Lily sang. She walked around the bed and hugged him to her as she guided him to his own bathroom, something he didn't notice the night before. "Did you have a good sleep?"

"Yes, the best I've ever had."

James stood with a stretch. "Breakfast?"

"The usual?"

He tilted his head in confusion. "What do you mean, Har?"

Harry wasn't sure if he had turned red from the nickname or because of his slip. It was the start of a new day, a new life with his parents. He didn't need to remind them of the Dursleys. They'd only get upset again. "Oh… nothing. I was just asking if I could have what I usually have."

Lily passed him a toothbrush and toothpaste. "And what's that, sweetheart?"

"Uhm, eggs and bacon." He was practically salivating at the thought of having bacon that wasn't the burnt leftover.

The redhead winked at him as she attempted to brush his hair down with her hand. "I'll see what I can do. We shrunk some of your clothes down so that they'd fit properly. Once you're done in here, get changed and come down to the kitchen. All right?"

"Sure."

He wasn't alone for very long. After using the bathroom, brushing his teeth, and heading back into his room to change, a black dog, much bigger than any other dog he'd ever seen, bounded into his room and tackled him into the bed. Harry didn't have very good experiences in the past with dogs. Aunt Marge usually set her vicious beasts on him to bite at his ankles or push him into the dirt, but this one was overwhelmingly friendly. It licked at Harry's face and ran around his legs, begging to be pet.

"Where'd you come from, boy?" Harry laughed. "I didn't know we had a dog. Did mum and dad just get you for me?"

He swore the dog nodded at him.

"Er, right. Well, why don't you let me change and then we can head down together?"

It trotted away and sat on its hind legs, facing the door. Had it understood him? Maybe it was magical. Harry swapped his clothes hurriedly, wanting to play with the dog some more. Once he was done, he patted it on its head and beckoned it to follow him.

"Mum? Dad?" he called when he got to the bottom step.

"In the dining room, Harry!"

He passed through the kitchen and into the door that was opposite of the living room entrance. "Dad? When'd you get a dog?"

James looked up, bewildered. "A dog?"

"Yeah! This one!"

The black menace raced into the room and hopped onto one of the dining table seats. His tail wagged wildly as he ogled the food in front of him.

"Is he mine?"

James roared with laughter. "Harry, that isn't a dog. That's your godfather."

"What?" He stumbled backwards when the dog shifted and became Sirius, who was now squatting on chair. He looked tired and had bags under his eyes that Harry definitely hadn't seen the day before, but Sirius was still grinning childishly and looking very happy. "Sirius!"

"Morning, Harry! Thought I'd introduce you to Padfoot."

He was suddenly too excited to eat. Of course! His father had told him all about changing into animals to help Remus during the full moon. "That's wicked! Can I see Prongs now? Or Moony!"

"Ah, might not be safe to set Moony loose without proper potions or safeguards," James said apologetically as Remus walked into the room, "Besides, it's not the full moon yet, but I'm sure you can see Prongs later today."

"Can I become an animago too?"

Lily was proud of her son's enthusiasm, but had to be the bearer of bad news. "Animagus, Harry, and unfortunately it takes very advanced magic to become one."

"But dad and Sirius did it when they were fifteen!"

"Because we were bloody good at magic, ain't that right, Prongs?"

"Watch your language in front of my son, Black, or you can sleep in the doghouse tonight."

Harry turned to his father for support. "I can do it, don't you think so, dad?"

James nodded confidently. "Of course you can."

"James!"

"He isn't my son for nothing, Lily," he boasted. "Now, Harry. Your mother and I have to go talk to Professor Dumbledore this morning before we can go shopping for new clothes and furniture. You won't mind hanging around with Remus and Sirius for a bit, would you?"

Harry, who was just dropping a handful of bacon onto his plate, looked downtrodden at the announcement. He didn't want to seem like a clingy toddler, but the last thing he wanted to do was be separated from them. He'd only just met them yesterday, after all. "Can't I just come with you?"

Sensing his anxiety, Lily sat next to her son and continued filling his plate with food. "We won't be long, Harry. I promise. An hour or two at most."

"Then it'll be us for the rest of the day."

Harry eyed his uncles. "I guess I could deal with these boring old coots for a while."

"Boring?" Remus grunted indignantly.

"Old?!" Sirius boomed. "I'll have you know I'm only thirty-one!"

"Well, you look forty," James snorted into his tea.

Sirius hurled a bread roll at James' head. "I'd like to see you look this handsome after ten years of-" Lily cleared her throat loudly and nodded towards Harry, who didn't miss the gesture.

"Of what? Ten years of what?" he implored when they all ignored him.

"Ten years of stress your father's put me through," the man explained hastily. "Thinking he was dead all these years and what not, gave me dozens of gray hairs he did."

Harry glared at all of them with suspicion. "You're lying… you'll tell me the truth, won't you?"

"Soon," Lily told him. "But for today, let's stay on a positive note, okay?"

He conceded with a nod. "This bacon is wonderful, mum. I've never cooked it this good before." He slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand when the room exploded with angry voices asking what he meant, if he was forced to cook for the Dursleys, and so on. "Stop! Stop, stop. Just… another thing to save for another day, right?"

Lily made to protest but bit her lip and accepted Harry's pleading look. "Right."

"Well, tuck in, the rest of you."

It remained awkwardly quiet until Sirius coughed and broke the silence with "so, Harry, did I tell you about the time your father made a fool of himself by falling into the Black Lake while trying to impress your mother?"

"Oh, come on, Pads! Not that story!"

Harry brightened instantly. He was still unsure of whether or not he was dreaming, but he was willing to sleep forever if it meant living a life like this.

By the look on Dumbledore's face, Lily and James knew their talk would not be a light one.

"Is this about last night?" Lily piped meekly.

James glared at her. "I still don't know what you were thinking, Lily. You're lucky Harry was with us or I'd have made you sleep on the couch for such a foolish-"

She clicked her tongue. "Oh stop it, James, you would've done the same!"

"You went to the Dursleys alone in the middle of the night! Do you know how worried we were when we realized you were gone? What if that great oaf had hurt you?"

"Actually, Lily, I had no idea you visited your sister last night," Dumbledore interrupted calmly.

The couple was visibly surprised. "But you know everything, whenever it happens."

He would've looked more amused if the following conversation wasn't so serious. "And what did you do with the Dursleys, Lily?"

She scowled at him. "Never you mind. I'm not saying it's your fault but I want to strangle you for leaving him there, Albus. I really do. James and I have done some spells on him while he was sleeping, checked him over for any other signs of abuse."

James had his arms crossed. "Fortunately for the Dursleys, he was telling the truth. There aren't any signs of physical abuse, but he is definitely malnourished. And just so you know I happen to disagree with Lily. This is your entire bloody fault and you know-"

Lily interrupted swiftly. "We'll take care of them how we see fit, with or without your approval."

He sighed. "I'm sure we can discuss the Dursleys later on, but I have something of utmost importance to discuss with you."

"What is it, Albus?"

"James, wait! Just stop!"

He continued running until he was out of the castle and nearly at the edge of the Forbidden Forrest. Even with all the fresh air around him, he couldn't breathe. James was seeing red after everything Albus had revealed to them. How? How was he supposed to live knowing they got a second chance when Frank and Alice…

"James?"

He felt Lily's arms wrap around him from behind. Her face was pressed against his back, and he felt a wet spot forming near his shoulder.

"How could this happen?" he whispered. "How are we back from the dead when our friends are barely alive? What made us more deserving than them?"

"We can't think that way, James."

"Well what else am I supposed to think? This is madness. This, this isn't right! What sick game are these monsters playing with our lives?!"

"Maybe this isn't Voldemort! Maybe it really is a miracle! Our son needed us, James."

"Oh don't be naïve," he scoffed. She could tell his frustration wasn't directed at her. "We died, Lily! We died! There isn't supposed to be a magic on earth that can bring back the dead, but apparently there was and I can only imagine how dark it must have been. Something like this doesn't happen by accident. They didn't torture Frank and Alice by accident!"

She pulled on his arm to turn him around and make him face her. "What are you trying to say?"

"They don't do anything without reason, Lily, even if it's an insane one. Whether they brought us back so they could have more fun or because they think we know what happened to their stupid master and how to revive him... I don't know, but we aren't here by some miracle."

Lily stared at her feet, considering for the first them since they came back why exactly it was they were back.

"What are we to tell our family?"

James shook his head. "I don't know."

"We can't keep this from Harry forever. He's going to school in two months. Everyone will know him."

"What, you want to tell him today?"

She rolled her eyes. "Well, what are we supposed to tell him when we go out shopping in disguise?"

He laughed, despite his sadness, the buried his face in Lily's shoulder. "God. The Longbottoms, Lily."

"They wouldn't want us to fall apart, James."

"What are we supposed to do then? Frank and Alice lost their minds, Remus has been practically homeless, Sirius was locked up for ten years, our son was abused, and Peter is dead. A traitor and dead…"

She took his hand and led him back to the castle. "We make it right."

Nearly all their worries vanished when they got home and Harry ran up to them with his big green eyes and wide grin. Lily met him halfway, sweeping him up into a hug that lifted him onto the tips of his toes. "You're back! How was Professor Dumbledore?"

James pulled him away from his mother and threw an arm around his shoulders as they walked away from the fireplace. "Just fine. Sends his regards to you."

"Remus was just telling me about the time you used your invisibility cloak and tried to sneak into his office to find his living quarters."

Lily gasped. "Oh, I remember that! Snape and I laughed for days when you were caught."

"Snape?" Harry smiled. "Is that another one of your friends?"

He grimaced. "Not quite, Har. Your mum and him were close friends but Snape and I hated each other."

"What? Why?"

"Because your father was jealous," she explained, "and rather silly at your age. Didn't realize how rude it was to prank others just because he could."

Harry frowned, disliking how much James sounded like Dudley. "But you stopped, right?"

"Of course he did, Harry, otherwise I wouldn't have married him."

James flicked her arm. "Don't pretend you didn't love me too!"

"So, are you and Snape still friends? Will I meet him?"

"You'll unfortunately be meeting the git because he'll be one of your professors at Hogwarts." Harry looked to his mother and was surprised when she didn't scold James for his poor attitude. They noticed his confusion. "Your mother is on my side now."

"She is?!"

They both hesitated to answer. "Sweetheart, why don't you go fetch your uncles and tell them to meet us in the living room? We have a lot to tell you about before heading out today."

Worry lines creased his forehead but he jogged out of the room. "I'll be right down with them." When he came back with Remus and Sirius in tow, his parents were sitting on the couch. Lily patted the spot between them and Harry took it as a sign to sit there. Sirius sat on the coffee table, earning him a glare from Lily, and Remus took the loveseat near them. "What's wrong, mum?"

Her tenses shoulders relaxed and her eyes shone with adoration. "I don't think I'll ever tire of hearing you call me that."

Harry lit up. "I don't think I'll ever tire of calling you that."

James sifted his fingers through his son's hair then rested his hand at the name of Harry's neck. "Son, we have to tell you some very important things about this family."

"Prongs?" Sirius cut in, sounding nearly panicked.

"It's alright, mate," he swore. "Harry, did your aunt and uncle tell you we died in a car crash?"

He nodded slowly. "And I was in the car with you. That's how I got this scar." He lifted his bangs and showed them the mark on his forehead. Their eyes widened. Neither of them had noticed it before, his messy hair covering most of his forehead. "Uncle Vernon says it's because you were drinking but I knew better than to believe him." Though James was cross for a moment, the way they were looking at him made him pale. "They were lying about the entire thing, weren't they? It wasn't a car crash."

"No, darling, it wasn't," Lily answered contritely.

"Well, what was it?"

James took Lily's hand. "You see, Har. There's a great debate amongst wizards about something called blood purity. Some people believe they're better than others because they're what we call Pure-bloods- that is, they come from a purely magical family. They think very poorly of muggles, non-magical people."

Sirius snorted, crossing his arms resentfully. "Or so they'd like to think. If those 'pure-blooded' families didn't marry muggles or half-bloods at the least, we'd die out. I'd like to trace back all of their family trees and shove it up their self-righteous arses."

"Half-bloods?" Harry inquired. "So, those are wizards or witches that have a magical parent and a muggle parent?"

"Or a magical parent and a muggle-born parent." He turned to Lily. "A muggle-born is someone who was born into a non-magical family. Then there are squibs, who are people born without magic, but come from magical families. Pure-bloods look down upon squibs and muggle-borns, Harry. Some even accuse muggle-borns of stealing magic."

"What," Harry gaped. "That's ridiculous-just because they don't have a full magical family? Shouldn't they be happy the community is thriving?"

"You would think so," James sighed. "But Pure-bloods that don't believe in blood purity were labeled 'Blood-traitors.' It caused a great division of some of the oldest wizarding families in history. The Potters were on the right side, of course."

Harry was hit by sudden realization. "Mum, you're a muggle-born. Unless, Aunt Petunia is a squib?"

"No, you're right, sweetheart. I'm a muggle-born."

Harry puffed his chest up with pride. "Professor Dumbledore said you were one of the smartest witches ever! I bet the arrogant purists didn't like that, did they?"

She blushed brightly but Remus, Sirius and James agreed with him. "You're right, Harry, they didn't," his father stated. "They didn't like any muggle-born showing them up, and one wizard in particular waged a war against those he felt undeserving of having magic."

"A war?"

"A war that tore the wizarding community apart," Remus murmured. "You either joined Lord Voldemort or died. Many were very faithful to him. They were called Death Eaters and served as his army. They killed and tortured muggle-borns to spread fear and, eventually, began to attack half-bloods and those they they named blood-traitors as well."

"And no one could stop him? Lord Voldemort?"

"He was a very, very powerful wizard," Sirius told him. "For years, he studied the dark arts and became one of the most proficient wizards in the world. He was so feared, people couldn't even say his name. He became known as 'You-Know-Who' or 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.' There wasn't a soul on earth that didn't fear him. Well, except us," he said cockily. Harry could tell Sirius was half-lying. "Of course, there was one wizard that the Dark Lord was scared of and did try to end his reign."

"Who?"

"Good old Albus, of course. He's the most powerful wizard there is."

Harry's jaw dropped. Professor Dumbledore? The man who gave him a pocketful of lemon drops after leaving Privet Drive? "So… this war? Professor Dumbledore tried to put a stop to it?"

James bobbed his head down once. "Yes, with a counterforce of his own. Some of the strongest wizards and witches joined a secret organization called the Order of the Phoenix. Your mother, uncles and I joined the moment we graduated Hogwarts."

Had Harry's mouth not already been open, he was sure his jaw would have dropped again. "You fought against Lord Voldemort?"

"He tried to recruit me to his side," James sneered. "All this rubbish about the Potters being a noble, pure-blooded house that should not be tainted but that he'd spare your mother's life if we joined him. We told him no of course. Didn't go over too well. I guess we could've been more diplomatic in our rejection."

"So, what happened?"

Lily and James didn't need to silently warn their friends not to say anything about the prophecy. Harry would know if it some day, but not today.

"We fought against his Death Eaters and him, tried to save as many innocent lives as we could. We put a price on our heads for it, Harry, and we had to go into hiding when we found out your mother was pregnant with you."

"We used a special charm to hide us," Lily added. "Our home would stay hidden as long as our secret keeper didn't divulge its location?"

"Secret keeper?"

"Yes." James' hands were trembling and, without a second thought, Harry grabbed them and held them steady. He turned to his son, surprised. "Harry…"

"What's a secret keeper, dad?"

With the comfort of his son, he continued. "It's someone who knows the location of your hiding place and will protect the secret with his or her life. Your mother and I wanted Sirius to be our secret keeper."

Sirius stared down at his lap guiltily. He clenched his eyes shut and banged his fist on his lap once. "And I should have listened to them, but I came up with a brilliant plan. I would be suspected first, Harry, because everyone knew how close we all were, so I thought… I told your parents we should make someone else their secret keeper. One of our best friends, Peter. I thought he'd never be suspected, that they'd be safer."

Harry looked at his other Uncle, who had leaned forward to rub his friend's back. "Not Remus?"

Angry with himself, Sirius dropped his head into his hands. "There was a spy in our ranks and we had no idea who it was. Remus and I stopped trusting each other and assumed…"

"You thought Remus was the spy." Sirius nodded and Harry felt his stomach turn in sympathy for the werewolf. "Was… was it Peter?"

"Yes."

Harry, who had just comforted his father, was beginning to quiver himself. "He was working for Voldemort?"

"Maybe not from the start. I can't imagine the boy we knew at Hogwarts wanting to be a Death Eater," Remus muttered.

"Peter was just as vocal as we were at defending muggle-borns whenever our classmates had something rude to say," James said honestly. "But I don't know… he must have gotten scared, thought we'd leave him undefended."

"Fuck that," Sirius snarled. Lily wanted to snap at him but knew better than to agitate him more. "We would've died for him! He knew that! That dirty rat told Voldemort where you were hiding because he was a filthy coward with no honor! No loyalty to the friends who took care of him! Loved him! When I got to your house and saw the wreck it was in! And the way my godson was crying, I wanted to tear Peter apart! I wanted-"

To Harry's amazement, Sirius began to cry.

He leaned back into the couch so he could see both of his parents. "Voldemort came and attacked us."

Her voice was so low they could barely hear her. "Yes, he did."

"How did we survive?"

James switched their hands positions, so that his were now covering Harry's. "We didn't, Harry. Your mother and I died that night."