Chapter 6

Nagisa stayed true to his word. Akira didn't even see him on the train on the first few days back to school. When Akira finally decided she couldn't take it anymore, she stopped Rei on the train and asked if Nagisa had stopped attending class.

"He's taking an earlier train," Rei replied calmly, although he gave her a dark look. Akira recoiled from him slightly, clenching her fists. What right did he have to give her dark looks? She felt a sick feeling in her stomach and walked away. It was fine. So Nagisa was taking an earlier train. That didn't have to mean anything. It could just mean he wanted to get to school early to practice.

Akira headed to class, taking her usual seat. For the first time, Haru acknowledged her presence. He turned and looked at her calmly. His gaze wasn't angry like Rei's; it was calm, and judgmental. Almost disappointed. So that's who you really are, it seemed to say. Akira frowned and slammed her bag on the desk. "What do you want?" she snapped at him.

Haru didn't blink. "I didn't say anything."

"Yeah? Well, let's keep it that way," Akira snapped, sitting in her seat.

She noticed Makoto glance back at the two of them worriedly, but she was too busy grabbing her organizer and flipping through it, only realizing there were tears in her eyes when she found that the letters were too blurry to read.

Even Gou gave Akira an angry look when they passed each other in the corridor one day. Akira could literally feel her resolve breaking. She'd started off the week determined that she wouldn't feel guilty and that what happened wasn't her fault, but she slowly began to wonder if it was.

Perhaps she had acted too hastily? Just because Nagisa had always laughed away her mean remarks before, didn't mean that he could do that all the time. But that wasn't her fault, right? He'd been fine with her snappy remarks until then, how was she to know he would break? Yes, she'd gone overboard, but he'd overreacted too.

Akira frowned as she sat alone on the train home. Being alone on the train had been something normal for her, but now each train journey was more painful than the last. She missed the blonde boy's constant chattering that often lulled her to sleep. She missed how he would always follow her around, his bright smile ready to greet her no matter her mood.

Sitting alone on that miserable train, was when the thought first struck her.

I don't deserve him.

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Akira knew the date of prefectorals. Nagisa had mentioned it so many times, begging her to come watch them swim, that it was ingrained in her mind. And yet, she didn't go. She told herself that it was because she didn't care, but the truth was that she knew she couldn't face him.

He's an idiot for liking someone like me, she thought to herself as she sat alone at home the weekend of swimming competition. Her fingers trembled as she finished her homework. She closed her eyes and the full guilt washed over her. It wasn't his fault. It couldn't be. Nagisa was just a normal, cheerful guy that had a crush on his senpai. He wouldn't hurt a fly. She was the one with problems, the one that had crushed him. Tears leaked down her face, as there was a knock on her bedroom door.

"Come in," Akira muttered, quickly wiping her tears. The door slid open and Katsu walked in, plopping onto her neatly-made bed. She frowned and glared at him.

"Baka! Sit straight, I just made that bed, you're ruining it!"

Katsu frowned and opened his mouth to retort, but something in his sister's expression made him close it again and sit straight. He folded his hands in her lap and bounced slightly on the bed, smiling. "I called Makoto-nii to ask what happened to their competition. He said none of them made it to the finals."

Akira was too shocked to even comment on the fact that her brother thought it was okay to call up people like Makoto randomly. She blinked at him. "Really? Not even Haruka-kun?"

Katsu shook his head and Akira frowned when she realized her brother was happy. She narrowed her eyes at him, and Katsu grinned. "But it's not over! Makoto-nii says that they're going to take part in the relay tomorrow! Isn't it great? He says I can come watch if I want to! Onee-chan, please, please, I want to go!"

"What? No, go by yourself."

"You know okaasan won't let me go unless you come! It's a long way, we'll have to take a bus and I can't do that alone! Nee-chan, please!" Katsu pouted, making a puppy face, but Akira's heart was thumping. Go see their relay? She wanted to, but how would she face Nagisa after the way she'd treated him? No way. She couldn't go there. It was out of the question.

"No. I'm not taking you. Ask okaasan to take you herself. Get out of my room."

Katsu frowned. "That's not fair! I know you only don't want to come because you were mean to Nagisa-nii and you don't want to apologize to him. Makoto-nii said you wouldn't want to come, but to bring you anyway because Nagisa-nii wants you there."

Akira glared. "For heaven's sake, are you Makoto-kun's brother or mine? How much do you two talk?"

"He's nice," Katsu defended himself. "Nicer than you."

Akira took a deep breath. Did Makoto really think that Nagisa would want her there? He had desperately begged her to come, but that was before she was horrible to him. Surely he wouldn't want someone like her dampening his big day. "It's just… it's not that easy, Katsu." She sighed and looked at her brother, who was watching her with big eyes. He was only seven, but he would understand, right? "I was horrible to him. I don't know if I can face Nagisa-kun now."

Katsu frowned. "If you're mean to someone, you have to apologize."

"Some things are beyond an apology."

"No, it's not! You said something mean, so say something nice and it'll be fixed! It's more reason to go there! Come on, onee-chan! Aren't you supposed to be setting a good example for me? What will I think if you go around being mean and don't apologize to people afterward?"

"Don't pull that one on me," Akira snapped, shaking a finger at him. She sighed and dropped her hand. "Okay. Fine. Be ready to get up early in the morning."

Katsu beamed, leaning forward and throwing his arms around his sister's neck. "Arigato, onee-chan!" he chirped, before rushing out of her bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her. Akira took a deep breath and slumped back in her chair, closing her eyes. She had to apologize. It wouldn't help anything much, but she would probably feel a weight off her shoulders if she did.

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A/N - Thank you so much to the Guest who reviewed last chapter! Your review was really encouraging and I hope you continue to like the story! You're right that reviews mean a lot to writers, but I love Free! so much that I would write even if I didn't have a single reader! :P Still, it made me feel wonderful though, so thanks again.