Alfred crept carefully through the aisles of bookshelves. "Man, this place is huge! There must be thousands of books! I didn't know this many books existed..."

It took him a few hours to get through the first four floors. Multiple times he got lost. He arrived at the fifth and final floor starting to lose hope. "Maybe he's not here today," he wondered, turning the corner just in time to lightly collide with his Russian beauty.

"Ah, sorry," Ivan apologized with a warm smile, before walking around Alfred and away.

"Hey! Wait a minute!" Alfred insisted, following. "Ivan, right? Don't you remember me from yesterday? The hot guy?"

"Oh, I assure you, I remember."

Alfred beamed. "Oh, great!" Ivan arrived at his usual cart and continued to work, ignoring Alfred. "So I figured I'd hang out here. Don't have class today and I thought, hey, you must be pretty bored all by yourself, right? Bet you could use some epic company. I do have practice later, though. For football. I'm, like, totally an athlete. Scholarship and everything. Pretty impressive, huh? You look like you work out too. You're pretty well-built, huh? D'you play sports?"

"No," he replied coolly. He turned to Alfred and smiled, the subtle dark gleam in his eyes causing a shiver to run down Alfred's spine. "But I could probably break a man's bare neck with my hands." He chuckled to himself as he continued wheeling the cart away, putting books in their place.

Al was stunned for a moment.

"Oh my god," he thought. "I must have him."

Ivan, wide-eyed, blinked in disbelief as Alfred popped up again grinning. "Soooo… you like movies? You like dinner? You like making out? You like this?" He spun around like a model showcasing himself. "Yeah? Well, today's your lucky day, babe."

"Huh. Weird." Ivan frowned. "Usually talking about mangled necks scares most people off."

Alfred threw his head back and laughed. "Nope, can't get rid of me that easily! Honestly I dunno how to describe it, but... quite the opposite, actually? Dangerous guys are kinda hot, y'know? Everyone loves a bad boy!" He playfully punched Ivan in the arm.

"You are a strange one, Al," Ivan replied with a concerned look on his face, shaking his head.

Alfred grinned like a dork. "You know my name?"

Ivan gave him a condescending, sarcastic look. "Well yes, you did mention it yesterday."

"You were actually listening?" Alfred beamed. "Y'know, Matt says I talk too much. So do my friends. But you know what? That's their problem. You can really tell a lot about someone by how good of a listener they are. Like, you know you can trust the ones who listen to ya; well, either that or they want something from you. But I don't think you're like that. Dude, are you always this quiet? Maybe that's why you're such a good listener. Or are you just shy? I mean, I can understand being intimidated by my raw sex appeal and awesomeness, but I'm actually pretty down-to-earth so try not to be crushed by intimidation or anything. Besides, you're pretty sexy yourself, y'know? Plus personally, I find being a good listener a very sexy quality. It's, like, the quieter you are, the more you seem all, you know, mysterious. Like, I dunno what you're thinking. What's on your mind right now?"

Silence, as Ivan continued working.

"Aha... lemme guess! You're thinking about me, right? Well, not that that's weird since we're talking. But I bet you were totally daydreaming about the glory that exists under these barriers of clothing, right? Well, dream no more, baby. I'll make that dream a reality."

Silence.

"So... dinner? A movie? Or are you the type who likes to just get down to business?"

Silence.

"Man, are you deaf or something?" Ivan didn't reply, so he smacked his arm. "Hey! Ivan! What's with the cold shoulder, babe?"

"Sorry," he replied dryly. "I wasn't listening."

Al looked a little hurt.

"Oh," he replied quietly. He quickly picked himself back up, threw his head back, and laughed it off. "Yeah, well… I guess it's kinda hard to listen to me yammer on while you're working, huh? Maybe we should go out after you get off work, then?"

Silence.

He smacked Ivan's arm with each syllable. "Let's. Go. On. A. Date!" He shouted in his ear, as Ivan flinched.

Alfred was suddenly smacked up against the wall, Ivan's face inches from his, eyes like cold, fierce daggers.

"Al, let me make this very, very clear for you. You are annoying. Do not speak to me again." And with that Ivan stormed off, surrounded by an evil aura, leaving Alfred looking like he was about to cry.

"Ugh... ah... ha... haaa... hahaha... haha! Hahaha!" His near-crying turned into nervous laughter, and then a bold laugh. "Whatever! I can do better than you anyway! Geez, what a nerd. Thinking you're so much better than me. Hmph! I got, like, half the entire school wanting a piece of this action, so ha!" And with that, he marched out of the library victoriously.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"Maaaatt!" Al sobbed dramatically into his brother's shoulder, as Matthew sighed and patted Al on the back. "H-he called me annoying!"

"Yes, yes, I know," Matt cooed, patting him on the head.

"And said never to speak to him again!"

"Yes, yes. He's a jerk and you're too good for him."

Alfred jerked up, angrily. "I know, right?!" Then his face slowly scrunched up in despair as he buried his face in his brother's coat again, crying loudly.

Matt's roommate and Alfred's friend/teammate Gilbert came out of the bathroom. "Man, is the waterworks like this every time he gets dumped?" He laughed in disbelief. Matthew nodded his head, sighing.

"How do you dump me? I mean, look at me," he blubbered. "Who wouldn't want all of this sexy?" He sniffled, wiping his drippy nose on his brother's jacket as Matt scowled.

"I dunno, man," Gilbert shrugged. "Everybody has a type, I guess."

"S-so… have you ever been dumped, Gil?"

Gilbert looked cornered for only a moment, then laughed nervously. "Ahahaha, of course not! Naw, I'm way, way too awesome to ever get turned down! Haha..." Matt raised a sarcastic eyebrow at his roommate and Gilbert averted his eyes, coughing nervously.

"Oh, well," said Matt. "You'll find someone better."

Alfred popped up. "That's just the thing, Mattie! I'll never find anyone better! Have you seen him? He's perfect! That face, those eyes, that hair… Ugh, that body…"

Matthew frowned. "So basically it's all about looks, then."

"Hey, don't judge me!" Al snapped defensively. "Everyone has priorities and makes compromises on other things!"

"Well maybe if you had focused on something other than his looks, he would've given you a chance," Matthew shot back.

"But... but..." Alfred stammered. "He's hot! I'm hot! It's like we were made for each other!"

His brother sighed, exhausted. "Al, I'm going to give you some tough love: you are shallow. You are selfish and egotistical. I bet you spent the entire time ranting on about yourself like you always do instead of being interested in what he has to say and asking him questions and trying to learn about him as though you actually give a damn which is why you always get turned down."

Alfred raised a hand in protest and opened his mouth, but couldn't think of an argument that worked in his favor. "...What do you expect me to do, then?"

Matthew scoffed. "Oh I don't know, maybe actually take an interest in him? Find out your shared interests so you have some common ground, and use that to build your relationship? AKA what normal people do?"

Alfred paused. "That's so crazy, it just might work."

Gilbert snickered.

"It's not crazy! It's normal!" Matthew roared. "Were you dropped on your head as a child? Do you understand how social interaction works? And you call me the dork? God, how are we related?" Alfred just laughed like he always did, which as always made Matthew angrier.

"Argh!" He exclaimed, pulling his hair as he exited the room. He could be heard quietly and shakily counting to ten as he went down the hallway.

Gilbert plopped down next to Al. "So bro, you gonna give up on him?"

Alfred grinned. "No way in hell! I'm gonna woo him so hard it'll be like a tornado of sexiness punched right through his face!"

Gilbert hit him in the arm playfully, smirking. "That's the spirit! Go get 'im, tiger!"

"Damn straight!" Alfred screamed enthusiastically, nearly giving Gilbert a heart attack, hopping up from Matthew's bed. "I'm like a motherfucking tiger about to pounce! Better run, Ivan,'cuz you about to be dinner!"

"Dude... dude, calm down," Gil muttered in disbelief as Alfred selected "Eye of the Tiger" on Gilbert's boombox and began intensely crumping in the middle of the room with a fiercely determined expression.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave me a review on your thoughts from this chapter!

Thanks to Anon990 for editing this chapter!