Ivan was putting away books from his cart, enjoying the quiet bliss his job provided him, until a familiar voice called out, "Yo, sugar lips!" He turned around to greet a grinning Alfred. "How's it goin'?"

Ivan blinked in disbelief. "You actually came back?"

"Yup!" Alfred replied proudly. "You just can't keep me away! I keep comin' back and getting in your pants! Like herpes!"

Ivan sighed deeply and buried his face in his hands. "That is the most unattractive simile I have ever heard."

Alfred shrugged. "I was going for accuracy."

Ivan scoffed. "Well, comparing yourself to a disease is actually pretty accurate," he muttered. Alfred pretended not to hear him.

"So, big guy, I recently learned that a good flirting tip is actually being interested in the other person."

Ivan rolled his eyes. "Really?"

"I know, right? Who would've thought!" Alfred exclaimed as Ivan groaned. "So, let's start with you. Tell me all about yourself!"

"I'd really rather not..." Ivan sighed.

"Well if you don't talk, I'll have to keep up the conversation all by myself!" Alfred grinned. "And trust me, I can talk for hours and hours and—"

"Alright," Ivan cut him off sharply, already exhausted. "What exactly is it you want to know?"

"Everything you can think of!" Alfred declared. "Tell me your life story! Tell me about your family and your home! Tell me everything you like and everything you don't!"

Ivan sighed again. One of the great things about this job was how little interaction he had with others, and how few of them were obnoxious and loud. It was easy for him to be polite to people he didn't like for the sake of his job, but this guy was getting on his last nerve. However, if he lost his temper and were to get carried away, he could very well get fired. But this guy didn't want to give up. That was it; he had no choice. At least while at work, he had to entertain the brat's whims until he finally gave up.

"I have no idea where to start."

"Well... hmm. When did you move here from Russia?" Alfred questioned.

The Russian man paused thoughtfully. "Hm... must've been ten years ago now."

"Wow, really?" Alfred asked, surprised. "You still have a noticeable accent. How old are you, anyway?"

"I'm twenty-three. My family moved here when I was thirteen. It's not that unusual that I have an accent since I only spoke Russian for the first thirteen years of my life, so I'd already developed a certain way of speaking."

"Oh, so you're like, four years older than me? Cool," Alfred replied. "What was Russia like?"

Ivan got a thoughtful look. "Well..."

FOUR HOURS LATER

"And, uh... my favourite colour is yellow..." Ivan continued nervously as Al patiently stood there, silently beaming. "Crap," Ivan thought. "I'm running out of things to talk about."

"I, erm, hm..." He thought so desperately that he couldn't come up with anything.

"You outta things to talk about?" Alfred asked excitedly.

"Uh, yeah." Ivan clenched his eyes shut and prepared for the worst.

"Okay. Well, see ya around!" Al replied gleefully, as he picked up his bag. Ivan frowned.

"You're leaving?"

"Yup," Alfred nodded. "I got practice today. Later!"

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Alfred sighed sadly, staring off into space as he and Gilbert made their way back to the dorms.

"Man, what's wrong?" Gilbert questioned. "You were totally off your game in practice. Something on your mind? How'd it go today?"

Alfred remained silent.

"Ooh... that's not a good sign," Gil thought to himself. He laughed and patted Alfred on the back. "Aw, don't worry about it, man. You're a great catch. You just gotta find somebody who appreciates you, that's all. Trust me, I know awesome when I see it."

Alfred sighed sadly again, not seeming to hear him. They reached Gilbert's room, and Al suddenly jumped back to life, nearly scaring Gilbert out of his skin. He stormed inside like a locomotive and flying tackled his brother onto his bed.

"Ow! Al, what the hell!" Matt yelped.

"You jerk!" Alfred yelled. "You told me to get to know him!"

Matthew frowned. "Yeah? So?"

"We have literally nothing in common!" Alfred shouted in desperation. "He likes... reading, and knitting, and plays, and old people music! What the heck do I do noooow?!" His shouts turned into pathetic sobs as he buried his face in Matt's shirt. His brother looked to the heavens in exhaustion as if to ask, "Why? What have I done in a past life to deserve this?"

Matthew pulled up his brother, looking him in the eyes. "Come on, pull yourself together! Have some dignity!"

"But what do I do?" Al blubbered. Matthew sighed.

"Well, that's up to you. You could give up on him and try to find someone who shares your interests."

"But I like him!" Alfred whined.

Matthew scowled. "Well then learn more about the stuff he likes! Try something new! Who knows, maybe you'll actually like other things if you give them a try."

Alfred sighed, exhausted, and curled up into a ball. Matthew pushed his brother off himself and Al rolled casually onto the floor, spread out his arms and legs, and lay there, staring at the ceiling and sighing dreamily.

"Geez, this is so much trouble..." He sighed wearily as Gilbert plopped down on his bed, drinking from his water bottle.

"Then I guess you have to ask yourself the important question," Gil piped in. "Is he worth it?"

Alfred's eyes widened and he popped up from the ground with vigor. He turned to Gilbert and grinned.

"Definitely."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave me a review on your thoughts from this chapter!

Thanks to Anon990 for editing this chapter!