Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling does.
Warning: This is intended for a mature and broad-minded audience due to unwanted physical encounters, vulgarity, emotional conflicts, and abnegation. I strongly believe my story might end being a wee bit dark.
A/N: Hey everyone! It's been a while, hasn't it? I struggled with this chapter, but I finally finished it. Enjoy!
Chapter Twenty-two
That single, isolated memory, now forever engraved into his mind, was of him forcing himself on her, of him ignoring her pleas and tortured sounds of pain, of him mindlessly thrusting into her slick folds over and over again, faster and harder with each passing second, plunging his body impossibly deeper into hers.
Of him drowning out her screams of fear, silencing her gasps of discomfort as the pain consumed her, with passionate kisses, while he lost himself in a blissful sea of euphoria
He felt her sorrow, sorrow for what he had done to her, deep within his chest. There was such pain and anguish. It surged through him, crawling throughout the entirety of his body.
Draco wanted to shut off his mind to the images assaulting it, he wanted to stop the unfamiliar emotions clawing at his heart, but found that he could not.
All he could do was brace himself as he witnessed the horrors of his own creation, playing before his glazed eyes.
He had very limited memory of the events that had transpired when he had slept with her. The only thing he could vividly recall with absolute certainty was the unquenchable hunger his body had felt for hers, the thrumming need that had swept away all sensible thoughts from him, and the pleasure. The unforgettable and incredible pleasure her body had given his.
He was always rough and dominant in bed as he was not a gentle lover, however, what he was seeing, her portrayal and recollection of what had happened that night, the true extent of his sexual brutality, shocked him.
He had viciously taken her virginity, and her choice.
She had wanted her first time to be with someone gentle, with someone she loved. He could see it plainly, like fragmented visions or snippets of future imaginings, yet he had taken that away from her as well.
He had taken it all.
Disgust quickly welled up inside him, churning in his belly at the sudden realization at what he had done to her.
He had raped her.
There was nothing else in the world he hated more than rapists, even more so than mudbloods. Anger momentarily spiked and surged through his veins at the mere thought of it. It was the worst thing he could think of ever being. His burning fury quickly dissipated as he acknowledged that, that was exactly what he was.
Appalled, Draco released his hold on her chin, and took a step back, blinking away the lingering fog from his eyes.
He felt repulsed by what he had done to her, and regret for taking her against her will, but he couldn't seem to find his voice to express his lamentation.
A part him truly wondered if he was capable of asking for forgiveness, let alone being granted it.
As his cold eyes searched her warm ones, a trickle of shame seeped down his spine.
How could he even be thinking about having sex with her after everything she had been through?
There were still shadows under her eyes, his gaze lowered, taking in the remaining bruises and marks that stood out starkly against her pale skin.
He idly wondered how her bruises seemed to decrease in number, but as his assessing gaze finally settled on her rounded abdomen, his eyes widened and the thought was lost as he found himself preoccupied with daunting possibility of being the father of her unborn child.
. . .
Luna released a muffled groan, her face was tightly pressed against a solid surface, and her nose really hurt.
She assumed she had hit the floor when she fell, but then the so called 'floor' felt far too warm, and most disconcertingly of all, it began to move.
"Are you alright?" questioned Theo, sounding concerned.
She stiffened, feeling the timbre of his voice vibrating through her and his breath tickling her hair.
It sent chills down her spine.
Luna blushed, finally realizing how close their bodies were. Sometime during her disgraceful fall, he had had managed to switch their positions so that he had landed on the floor, while she had landed on top of him.
He face was nestled into his chest, and her legs were partly straddling him.
She was extremely aware of the varying anatomical differences between them.
Luna carefully lifted her head away from his chest, attempting to avoid eye contact.
She snuck a quick glance.
He was looking up, his eyes searching the entirety of her face.
Swallowing the nervous lump in her throat, she nodded, and proceeded to lift her body away from his.
There was a resistance at her waist, halting her movements.
His arm was tightly wrapped around her, but he then removed it abruptly.
Theo was beginning to shift now, trying to get his own weight off of his aching arm, which had been trapped underneath him when he had broken her fall.
Unfortunately, Luna misinterpreted his efforts and practically bolted away, getting up on her feet far too fast for her body to adjust.
The world around her spun, and she swayed uncertainly.
Theo immediately stood up, reaching for her to lend a steadying hand.
Even through her dizzy vision, she saw his intent.
"Don't you dare touch me," she sternly warned, once again holding out her hands in front of her to keep him away.
Blinking to clear her vision, she lifted her chin and looked into his eyes, trying to suppress the panic still bubbling inside.
An emotion she couldn't quite place flickered in his eyes.
"Touch you? You touched me," he said, incredulity coloring his voice. The way he said it was reminiscent of the way they used to taunt each other, but softer. An unusual attempt on his part to lighten the mood.
He offered her a smile, and despite it seeming forced, it the first time she saw his features morph without them being motivated by arrogance or smugness.
Luna wanted to argue against his accusation, yet her eyes widened imperceptibly knowing he was right.
She was the one that had reached out for him.
In fact, if it weren't for him, she would have surely hit the cold, unforgiving floor.
Lowering her arms, and looking over his form, she noticed he was cradling one of his arms.
He had spared her that pain.
The thought caused a strange, warm sensation to spread in her chest.
"Are you sure you're alright?" he inquired, surveying her form.
The question seemed ludicrous to her, especially when he had taken the brunt of the impact.
She should be the one asking him that.
"Yes," she replied, her eyes locking onto his, trying to decipher why he was being so nice.
No, not nice. Nice was not an adjective that she would think of ever associating with him. Courteous. Yes, that felt much more appropriate. He was being courteous with her… But why?
Theo could almost read the confusion mirrored in her blue eyes. She was no doubt wondering why he was trying to be kind. Not that he could blame her. He was as surprised by his own actions as much as she was.
There was just something about the way she looked at him. The fear in her eyes made him uncomfortable. He didn't like it.
He took a step in her direction, and he saw the fear he hated once again darken her eyes.
It was clear to him that keeping his distance would be imperative to not further frighten her.
His arm was throbbing and he knew he still had to meet up with Blaise.
Staying here and scaring her was not ultimately doing more harm than good.
He was going to have to a different shop to get the Caen phial.
Should he try to apologize again or simply leave?
What had taken place in the last few minutes was definitely not what he had pictured in his mind when he had made the hasty decision of apologizing.
"Are you?" asked Luna, jolting him out of his thoughts.
"What?" he responded, not knowing exactly what it was she was asking.
"Are you okay?" she clarified, indicating to his injured arm.
"Oh. It's nothing," he answered, letting go of his cradled arm for emphasize.
The gesture hurt more than he cared to admit, but he ignored the pain.
"I should go," he added, turning to leave.
"Why did you come here?" she probed, directing the question to his retreating back.
He stilled, mentally debating on how to answer.
Luna's heartbeat raced, anxious for his explanation.
"I needed a phial of Caen," he simply replied.
It was the truth, or at least part of it.
Luna took in a fortified breath, disturbed by how much those simple words affected her.
"Well… Congratulations on your baby," she said, trying to sound cheery.
Theo spun around to look at her.
He didn't look cheery at all. He looked shocked and confused.
It dawned on Luna that he hadn't known what the phial was for until now.