Thanks for your reviews, guys! I'll respond as soon as this is posted! I've had this done for a few hours, but due to a power outage in L.A. the internet was down, unfortunately.
Anyways, enjoy!
MIDWEEK FOUR
Matthew hurried into the café. His eyes searched frantically for his friend. Ivan was sitting at a table in the corner, staring wearily out the window. Matthew walked over and plopped his bag down, taking the empty seat.
"Ivan, what's wrong? What's the emergency you texted me about?"
"I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have bothered you, but..." Ivan trailed off, his eyes in the distance.
"Hey, it's no big deal. What are friends for, right?"
Friends. The word made him smile. The sight of Ivan's face lit up with adorable, innocent happiness made Matthew smile too.
"Well, the thing is... this might be sort of weird."
Matthew frowned. "What is it?"
Ivan looked around, the look on his face intense, then leaned in closely, motioning for Matthew to come closer as well. Matthew did and blushed as he felt Ivan's hot breath. For a moment he sort of understood why his brother was so fixated on him.
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Matt! You're supposed to be helping him!"
Ivan's expression was grave. He opened his pretty lips, and in a shaky whisper asked a question as though it would determine the fate of the universe.
"How do you flirt with guys?"
Matthew simply gazed back for a few moments in disbelief.
"Matthew?"
"Um, yeah. What did you say again?"
Ivan blushed slightly and shifted uncomfortably. "You're going to make me say it again?"
"I think I heard you, but, just, what? Why?"
"Well, I met a guy the other day and I scared him off. I've been trying to grow more accustomed to people lately, and, well, I'm not doing too well. So I wanted your advice."
"Yeah, but flirting specifically?"
"General stuff would help, too. It would be nice to get a boyfriend. I mean, someday." Ivan blushed slightly, cracking a sweet little smile at the corner of his lips before shaking it off. "So what do you think?"
Matthew panicked a little. He had no idea what to say. "Why ask me specifically?"
"Because you're my friend, Matt." Ivan replied simply.
"Yeah, but didn't you and Gilbert become friends, too?"
"Gilbert and I are more casual friends. Getting drunk together doesn't really establish an intimate connection. You're honestly the only person I feel comfortable talking to about this sort of thing." He blushed again, and looked away.
Matthew found himself blushing too. It was a very warm feeling, to have someone so shy open up to him.
"I guess. I mean, I don't really know what to tell you, though. Why the sudden change of heart? I thought you tended to dislike most people," Matthew questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"Honestly, I've never had a close friendship with someone before. I've never had a friend I could message any time of day and talk. It's nice. I thought that maybe I would like more friends like that," he mumbled softly.
Matthew smiled. "That's sweet, Ivan."
Ivan blushed furiously and pulled his scarf over his lower face. "Hush, you."
"Well, I'd love to help, but I'm not sure what kind of advice to give on this matter. I've never really flirted with a guy. I mean, I could ask Alfred for you..."
Ivan scowled lightly. "No, thank you."
Matthew laughed. "Aw, he's not so bad. He's actually really good with people. I know you get kind of uncomfortable when he flirts with you, but honestly, he's the best one for this kind of advice. I'm sure he'd answer any question or do any favor if it's you asking."
"Well... could you try?"
"Hm." Matthew frowned thoughtfully. "Making friends is a lot easier than flirting. A good way is probably to find a common interest and bond over that."
"I see. That makes sense," Ivan replied, scribbling it down in his notebook.
Matthew snickered playfully. "You don't have to write it down, silly!"
Ivan frowned. "But I write everything down. It helps me organize my thoughts."
"Okay, then. Whatever works."
"What about guys you like?"
Matthew flushed a little himself. "Hm. I could honestly use some advice in that category myself."
"Ah, Gilbert?"
They had spoken much about Matthew's crush. He blushed hard. "Yeah."
"I'm not sure…" Ivan paused. Then his eyes lit up. "Matthew! I have an idea!"
x
Ivan and Matthew trotted into a library study room with a stack of self-help romance books, and began studying and sharing their findings.
"It says here that gifts can be a show of affection," Ivan offered, breaking the silence. Matthew shook his head.
"I'm a poor student. I couldn't get him anything nice. Besides, winning someone over like that is sort of shallow."
"I see. I suppose you're right."
Silence.
"It says that learning about the things he likes can make him grow closer to you," Matthew observed.
"Oh? That sounds like a good idea," Ivan replied.
"What kind of stuff does the guy you like enjoy?"
Ivan frowned. "I'm not sure, actually. I only briefly met him."
"Oh." Matthew frowned too. "I suppose that doesn't work when you've just met. You kinda have to get past that first."
They resumed reading, and once again silence filled the room.
"Ah... here's something," Ivan spoke up. "It says here that practice is a very good way to learn social skills."
"Yeah, I guess it's pretty hard to learn something so subjective and verbal from just reading a book."
"I suppose so."
They paused. Then sighed and dropped their books.
"Fine, let's practice."
"Huh? Practice how?" Ivan questioned.
"By trying it on each other."
"Really?"
"Would you rather go do it out in public around people we don't know?"
Both of them shuddered as their introverted nature kicked in. "No," they both responded in unison, shaking their heads.
"Okay, I'll pretend to be a guy you think is really cute, and you try making casual conversation with me."
Ivan gulped. "Okay."
Ivan waddled nervously over to Matthew, flinging back his hair with his hands awkwardly and a little too dramatically. "Heee-eey," he said in a shrill whisper, his voice weak and cracking, in an attempt to sound seductive.
Matthew frowned. "Um, hi?"
Ivan leaned awkwardly to the side with a hand on his hip, and tilted his face up at an odd angle with wide, terrifying eyes. "How are you?" He raised his eyebrows up and down vigorously and slowly. Matthew quickly felt uncomfortable.
"Maybe we should take a break—"
Ivan slammed his open palms down on the table, moving his shoulders like a crouched tiger about to pounce. His eyes were wide and intense (almost terrified), and the lower half of his face looked completely expressionless. He raised a shaking arm and pointed at Matthew. "I want you," he hissed, gritting his teeth. He pulled back a bit, took a huge gasp of air, and strutted next to Matthew like Ace Ventura at a fashion show.
He leaned close into Matthew's face, and Matthew felt his skin crawl. "You are very appealing," he whispered so shrilly Matthew could barely hear him.
Ivan huffed, taking in another gasp of air before falling to the ground clutching his chest. Matthew panicked and began to fan the socially awkward Russian man as he had a profoundly painful panic attack.
An hour later, Ivan was still red in the face and taking deep breaths while Matthew had his head in his hands.
"Ivan?"
"Yeah?"
"I… don't think you should act in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe just be yourself."
Ivan sighed. "I think so too."
END OF WEEK FOUR
Alfred raised a fist in the air at 3:00 am. "At last! My crusade is complete!" He shouted. His roommate awoke, startled, before sighing and rolling back over to sleep. Alfred opened up their window and shouted "Worship me, peasants!" to the whole campus, then proceeded to breakdance in the middle of the room.
He had finally completed his reading list. This week he had finished Grimm's Fairy Tales on Monday, read Paradise Lost and Diary of a Young Girl on Tuesday, Lord of the Flies and To Kill a Mockingbird on Wednesday, and spent the rest of the week completing the Harry Potter series.
Finally! He was finished! Now he could have intelligent conversations with his sweet Russian mancandy!
…Wait, what? Oh, yeah, that's why he was doing this. He had actually forgotten.
Alfred felt a slight twinge of sadness. For some reason all he wanted to do was continue reading. But his crusade had come to an end.
"This sucks. I need more books to read."
His face lit up. What a perfect excuse to go to the library! Killing two birds with one stone! He just had to wait until the next afternoon when Ivan would be working.
Alfred was definitely too excited to sleep, so he turned on his music (this time "Separate Ways" by Journey—because every crusade must have epic music), and continued getting down in his dorm room while Toris rolled over and groaned, pulling a pillow over his head.
X
Haha! That chapter was all sorts of awkward. I think I used the word "awkward" to describe Ivan like 20 times. Sorry! I have a hard time being funny when the crazy guys (America and Prussia) aren't there.
Anyways, thanks so much for reading! Please leave me a comment if you liked it! Also, many thanks to editor Anon990!
Please stick around!