"Looks like he's coming around." Dobey said to Huggy as they both watched the blond regain consciousness.
Hutch opened his eyes and saw Dobey and Huggy hovering over him.
"Wh...Where am I?" he asked as he scanned the room, then it dawned on him exactly where he was as the sadness crept back up on him and crawled into the huge hole in his heart.
Hutch fought back the tears as he slowly sat up on the hospital bed.
"Hutch...I think it's best if you come home with me tonight...you can sleep in our guest bedroom." Dobey told the blond as he rested a huge hand on Hutch's shoulder.
"I just wanna' go home Captain." Hutch said mornfully.
"Not tonight Son." Dobey added as he helped Hutch to his feet.
Huggy's heart sank as he watched his grieving friend walk towards the hospital room's doorway, his shoulders hunched over.
"I have to make a phone call Captain...I-I have to call Starsk..." Hutch choked as he tried to say his best friend's name.
"I have to call his mother...let her know what happened." Hutch struggled with his words as the tears welled up in his eyes.
"I'll take care of that Hutch...you just..." Dobey started to say.
"No...he was my partner...I need to be the one to tell her." Hutch insisted.
Dobey eyed his detective then nodded in agreement.
"We'll call her from my home...come on Son." Dobey said softly as he directed Hutch down the hallway to the main entrance of the hospital.
The three men walked through the parking lot and over to Dobey's car.
"Hey...I gotta' get back the The Pits...I'll call ya' tomorrow morning okay?" Huggy said somberly as he placed both his hands on Hutch's shoulders.
Huggy was at a loss for words as he looked into Hutch's swollen, blood-shot eyes.
He did the only thing he could do, he pulled his friend into his arms and squeezed him tightly.
When Huggy eventually released the blond there were new fallen tears on his cheeks.
"See ya' tomorrow." Huggy said as he opened the passenger side car door and helped Hutch into the front seat.
Huggy then looked over at Dobey and gave him a look that said. "Take care of him."
Dobey nodded to Huggy in understanding.
Huggy then stepped back and watched as Dobey and Hutch drove away.
"Yeah...my man's gonna' need a lot of takin' care of." Huggy said to himself as his eyes followed the car down the street.
...
"She still manages to take my breath away Davey...even after all these years!" Starsky's father said with a smile.
Starsky looked over at his father who was wearing a lop-sided grin on his face, the same grin he inherited and used often.
He then followed his father's eyes to across the room and soon realized they were standing in the living room of his childhood home, his mother was sitting in a chair knitting what appeared to him to be a scarf.
She had her long dark hair tied up in a bun and she was humming along with a song that was playing on the radio.
Starsky's heart swelled as he looked upon her face and he smiled and looked over at his father who was still smiling as well.
He then heard a noise that sounded like the rustling of the pages of a newspaper and he looked over and spotted his little brother laying stretched out on the sofa, that's when his smile faded slightly.
"Ya' know...I think I'm going to send this scarf to David for his birthday when I get it finished!" Mrs. Starsky said with a smile as she held out her unfinished handy work in front of her to inspect it's progress.
"Ma...what in the hell is Davey gonna' do with a scarf in California?" Nick said as he sat up and tossed the newspaper aside.
"Please Nicholas...how many times have I asked you to watch your language...and besides...the air is always chilly by the ocean...especially in April!" Mrs. Starsky replied as she continued with her knitting.
Nick rolled his eyes and got to his feet.
"Well I think I've had all the excitement I can take for one night...I'm gonna' run into town and see what's goin' on." Nick added as he walked over to the table in the entryway and picked up his keys.
Starsky and his father looked at each other with concern then looked back at the younger Starsky.
"Nicholas it's so late...why don't you just spend the evening with me...I'll make us some popcorn and we'll watch an old movie on TV!" she practically pleaded with her son.
Starsky's brother snickered at her request.
"No thanks Ma'...I'd rather sit and watched the wallpaper peel!" he replied with a snide chuckle.
Both Starsky and his father winced when they saw the look of hurt on Mrs. Starsky's face.
Starsky thought back to all the nights the four of them spent in the very same room where they stood now.
His mother would make a huge bowl of popcorn and a steaming hot pot of hot chocolate, dalloped with whipped cream and they'd all sit in front of the television and watch a movie together as one big, happy family.
His parents would always let the boys pick which movie they wanted to watch.
With only four channels to choose from it wasn't hard to decide but the boys always managed to find some interesting movies none the less.
Starsky's face lit up as he thought back to those happier times and he wished he could go back in time, if only for a moment and relive those cherished memories.
Starsky slowly walked over to his mother and knelt down beside her and gazed lovingly into her troubled eyes.
Just then the phone next to her chair rang out and Starsky jumped.
Nick halted at the front door as his mother picked up the phone.
"Hello." she answered politely.
"Hello...is anyone there?" she asked as she waited for the voice on the other line to answer back.
"Kenneth...is that you...I can barely hear you dear?" she said as she pressed the receiver closer to her ear.
Starsky's ears perked up at the mention of his partner's name and he listened intently.
"Wh...What are you saying Kenneth?" she questioned the voice on the other end as her hand began to shake.
Starsky watched as the tears pooled in his beloved mother's eyes then he looked over at his father whose eyes mirrored the same sadness.
Starsky's father nodded to his son.
Nick, who was still standing by the door, started to make his way back into the room when he saw the worried look on his mother's face.
"Oh please no...please Kenneth no...not my David!" Starsky's mother wept.
Starsky looked back over at his father searching for guidance.
He watched as his father made his way over to his mother's side and placed a gentle hand on her tear-stained cheek.
"Ma what is it...did somethin' happen to Davey?" Nick shouted out.
Mrs. Starsky ignored Nick's questioning and continued to concern herself with the caller.
Starsky's father's touch seemed to console his mother somewhat as she spoke to the caller again. "Kenneth...Kenneth please don't say that...it wasn't your fault dear." she said, trying to comfort the troubled soul on the other line.
Starsky could visualize his blond partner on the phone, telling his mother how he himself was to blame for his death, how it should have been him instead.
"No Hutch...it wasn't your fault Buddy!" Starsky shouted into the receiver.
Starsky got up from his knees and walked around his mother's chair and around his father and knelt down on the other side of her and placed his ear against the phone.
He could hear Hutch sobbing heavily into the reciever.
"Oh God Buddy...plese don't cry Hutch...it wasn't your fault." Starsky said tearfully.
Starsky thought back to the morning of the hold-up at the convience store and how they argued who was going through the front door first.
He then remembered how Hutch pulled a coin from his pant's pocket and flipped it in the air.
"Heads or tails?" he asked Starsky.
Starsky remembered calling heads.
"Well sorry Buddy...it's tails!" Hutch replied with a smile as he quickly placed the coin back in his pocket.
"You didn't even let me see it!" he remembered saying to the blond.
"Hey would I lie to you?" he recalled Hutch's reply as he headed for the front door of the store with Starsky folowing close behind.
It was only at the very last second as Hutch was racing throught the door that Starsky decided to dart in front of him.
Starsky remembered being hit with the very first bullet that was fired, a bullet that would have hit Hutch.
As they dove for cover Starsky remembered firing off a couple of rounds, one of which caught the one gunman square in the chest, killing him instantly.
After that, everything went blank until he heard his partner's words of comfort and his pleads to hold on.
He could recall how Hutch held him tightly in his arms and how he could still feel the warmth of the blond's protective embrace just moments before he passed over to the other side.
"Alright dear...I'll talk to you tomorrow about the arrangements...and please Kenneth...if you need anything at all...you call me...goodnight dear." Starsky's mother said somberly as she hung up the phone.
"Ma...what's going on...what happened to Davey?" Nick begged his mother to fill him in on what was happening.
"He's gone Nicholas...your brother is gone." Mrs. Starsky sobbed.
"What do you mean he's gone...what are ya' sayin' Ma?" Nick cried out.
Starsky's mother paused to gather strength to explain, then continued.
"It seems there was a robbery at a convience store...David was shot and killed." Mrs. Starsky informed her youngest son.
"Davey's dead?" Nicholas questioned her.
"Yes Nicholas...that was Kenneth on the phone...he's devastated." Starsky's mother said with worry in her voice.
Starsky's and his father's gazes went back and forth between Mrs. Starsky and Nick as they spoke.
"Well where the hell was Hutch when all this was going down anyhow huh?" Nicholas shouted angrily as he waved his hands in the air.
At that moment everyone elses eyes in the room shot to Nick, especially Starsky's.
"This is probably all his fault...I bet he let Starsky go in first while he coward behind!" Nick ranted.
It only took a second for Starsky to come to his partner's defense as he shot across the room to his brother.
"You have no idea what your talkin' about...Hutch is not a coward...he's more of a man then you'll ever be you little punk!" Starsky spat angrily into his brother's face.
Starsky's father walked over to his eldest son and placed a hand on his son's shoulder and said calmly. "David...David it's no use...he can't hear you."
Starsky quickly shrugged his father's arm off and continued to spout off angrily at his brother. "If your sorry ass hadn't been off doing what you were doing none of this would have happened!"
"David please...these words are unbecoming with the position you're in now Son." The elder Starsky said as he motioned to the heavens.
"But Pop...he can't talk like that about Hutch...it wasn't his fault...he's..." Starsky started to say before getting all choked up.
"Davey...I think Hutch needs you right now...why don't you go to him Son." Starsky's father said as he placed his hand on Starsky's forearm and squeezed.
Starsky looked up at his father.
"Are you coming with me?" Starsky asked.
"No...I think I'm needed more here right now...this is something you need to do on your own...after all...you are his protector now...he's gonna' need you more than ever now." Starsky's father added.
"But how will I know how to get to him?" Starsky asked.
"Just follow your heart Davey...it'll lead you right to him." Mr. Starsky said with a smile.
With those words Starsky's face lit up and he was gone in a flash.
...
Hutch followed Dobey into his home where he was greeted by Edith.
"Welcome Ken." she said softly as she gave him a hug.
"I placed clean towels in the guest bath and I hope you don't mind but Harold had Cal stop by your place and pick up a few of your things...there in the spare bedroom...if there's anything else you need please let us know." Edith said as she placed a comforting hand on his arm.
"Thank you." Hutch replied softly, his words barely audible.
"I'll show you to your room." Edith added as she took Hutch by the arm and led him out of the room.
As they passed through the living room the Dobey's young daughter Rosie was standing off to the side.
She had heard the news about Starsky and could tell how sad Hutch looked.
She started to walk over to Hutch and her mother but Edith held out her hand to stop her. "Not now Rosey...Ken needs to rest Dear." her mother told her as Hutch and her continued on.
Hutch glanced back at Rosie and smiled ever so slightly.
The pain and sadness was overwhelming in his eyes and even for someone as young as Rosie was, it was clear to her to see that he was indeed hurting.
Once Hutch was inside the guest bedroom Edith quietly closed the door behind her and left him to his solitude.
Hutch was too exhausted to even think about taking a shower and he just collasped on the bed.
A moment later there was a tap on the bedroom door and Dobey walked in.
He walked over to Hutch as he laid stretched out on the bed.
Dobey hesitated as he looked down at his distraught detective then sat down on the side of the bed beside the blond.
Dobey held a bottle of pills in his hand and proceeded to open it.
"The doctor prescriped these to you Hutch...he thought you'd need them to sleep." Dobey said as he took out one of the pills from the bottle then snapped the lid back on.
"I don't want it Captain." Hutch replied with his arm draped across his face that covered his eyes.
"Hutch please...you need your sleep." Dobey pleaded with the blond as he held out the pill.
Hutch removed his arm from across his face and stared at the sleeping pill.
"What is it?" Hutch asked.
Dobey looked at the bottle and said. "Valium."
Hutch thought about refusing the pill again but then changed his mind as he reached over and held out his hand.
Dobey then dropped the pill into the blond's empty hand and placed the remainder of the bottle on the nightstand beside the bed.
Dobey then got up and went to the bathroom and got Hutch a glass of water and handed it to him.
Hutch glanced at the pill he held in his hand then placed it in his mouth and took the offered glass of water to wash it down with.
Dobey, satisfied that Hutch would soon be getting some much needed rest, nodded to his detective then started to walk out of the room.
He stopped at the doorway then looked back at the bottle that he had placed on the table beside Hutch's bed.
"He wouldnt do something that foolish would he?" Dobey thought to himself.
None the less, in Hutch's present state, the thought of the blond taking his own life by overdosing on sleeping pills didn't seem that far-fetched to Dobey.
Dobey walked over and picked up the bottle and placed it in his pocket, an act that did not go unnoticed by Hutch.
Dobey, only slightly embarrassed, bid Hutch a goodnight then exited the room.
As Dobey closed the door the latch did not catch properly and the door reopened ever so slightly and remained that way.
Once Dobey was gone Hutch got up from the bed and went into the bathroom and spit out the Valium he held secretly in his mouth down into the toilet and then flushed it away.
Hutch then walked over to the sink and splashed cold water on his face.
As he reached for a towel, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror, a face he didn't even recognize.
"What are you looking at you worthless piece of shit!" Hutch growled at his own image.
Had he been in his own home he probably would have smashed the face looking back at him.
Hutch then dried his face with the towel, tossed it aside, then stumbled back out into the bedroom.
He looked around at the room as an odd feeling crept up on him.
He then fell back down onto the bed and just sat there.
It wasn't long before the tears returned and he began to sob heavily unbeknownst to him that watchful eyes were upon him.
"Awww c'mon Hutch...please don't start that again Buddy!" Starsky pleaded with his partner from his spot in the corner.
Starsky was just about to walk over to Hutch when he heard the bedroom door creek ever so slightly.
Starsky's eyes crinkled up as he smiled at the little girl standing hesitantly in the doorway.
Hutch never heard the door open or notice little Rosey as she walked into the room until she placed her tiny hand on his arm.
"Don't cry Hutch...Starsky wouldn't want you to cry." Rosie said in her small voice.
Starsky looked over at the two of them and smiled.
Hutch removed his hands from his face and looked down at the young girl and made an attempt to smile himself.
"I'm sorry Sweetheart...I can't help it...it's all I can seemed to do..I just miss him so much!" Hutch sobbed.
"But he's not really gone!" Rosie said incouragingly.
Hutch just looked at the little girl.
"We learned in Sunday School just the other day that when people die they become angels...guardian angels...and everybody has one...and they stay with us all the time...and they keep us from getting hurt." Rosie told Hutch a matter-of-factly.
Hutch wanted so badly to ask the child where was Starsky's guardian angel the day he was killed but he refrained, he just nodded and smiled half-heartedly.
"Daddy says my guardian angel is Grandpa Henry and that he watches over me all the time!" Rosie said with enthusiasm.
"See that?" Rosie said as she held up her skinned elbow for Hutch to see. "I fell off the ladder to my tree house last week and that's the only thing I hurt...Daddy said it's because Grandpa Henry was watching over me!"
Starsky had to chuckle over the little girl's story as he watched Rosie and Hutch converse.
"I bet Starsky is your guardian angel and I bet he's watching over you right now!" Rosie exclaimed as she touched Hutch's cheek.
Hutch smiled slightly at the thought.
"Ya' know something Rosie...you're pretty smart...smarter then a lot of grown-ups I know." Hutch told her as he tickled her belly causing her to giggle.
"C'mere you!" Hutch said as he picked her up and sat her in his lap and squeezed her ever so tightly.
Starsky's eyes filled with tears at the sight of his big, burly partner displaying his softer, more vulnerable side.
Just then there was a slight tap on Starsky's shoulder and he turned to see the man in white was standing next to him.
"Come David...there are some things we need to go over yet before I can allow you to stay." the man in white told Starsky.
"But I wanna'..." Starsky started to object.
"Kenneth will be fine for now...please follow me Son." the man in white insisted as he tugged on Starsky's arm.
Starsky looked over at his partner and the little girl, then with a frown, he reluctantly left with the man in white.
"Rosie, honey, what in the world are you doing in here bothering Hutch?" Edith exclaimed as she entered the bedroom.
"It's okay Edith...Rosie and I were having a nice little chat weren't we Sweetheart?" Hutch said as he tweaked the little girl's nose.
"Yep!" Rosie said as she smiled at the blond.
"Well just the same...you come along with me young lady...it's way past your bedtime and Hutch needs to get some rest as well." Mrs. Dobey exclaimed as she held out her hand to the child.
Rosie slid off of Hutch's lap and took her mother's hand.
As she and her mother walked towards the doorway Rosie turned around and waved to Hutch and he returned her wave with a wink.
After his conversation with the child Hutch's mood suddenly felt a bit uplifted.
He got up from the bed where he sat and started to look around the room.
"Well is it true what Rosie says Starsk...are ya' with me right now Partner?" Hutch asked as his eyes surveyed the quiet bedroom.
Hutch waited as if Starsky would reply but he got nothing.
"Just give me something Buddy...I-I gotta' know that you're okay...wherever you are!" Hutch pleaded.
The only sound that was returned was the sound of silence.
The uplifting feeling that Hutch had felt just moments before quickly deflated.
"Who am I kidding...he's not here with me anymore than the man on the moon!" Hutch spat as he walked across the room and slipped on his sneakers.
Hutch took one more look around the room then grabbed his jacket that hung on the back of the bedroom door and shot out of the room.
...
"Where are you going Nicholas?" Mrs. Starsky asked here son as he headed for the front door.
"Out!" was his single word reply.
"Please Nicholas...stay in tonight...in light of what's happened will you please just stay home with me tonight." she pleaded with her youngest son.
"I can't just sit around her Ma...and don't wait up for me either!" Nick replied back as he snagged his jacket off the coat rack by the door and disappeared out the door.
The broken-hearted woman sighed when she heard her son's car tires squeal as he tore out of their driveway.
Mr. Starsky, who was still at his wife's side, placed a gentle hand on the side of her cheek to comfort her.
She sighed as she placed her hand on her cheek as well and whispered softly. "Oh Robert...I fear for our poor baby boy."
"Don't worry my love...I'll keep a close eye on him." Mr. Starsky replied as he brushed his fingers across the side of her face.
Suddenly a smile lit up her worried face and she snuggled down deeper into her chair to wait for her troubled son to return.
...
"So what was so important that you had to drag me back up here?" Starsky asked the man in white.
"You are not ready to be down there on your own for extended periods of time yet David...there's still a lot you need to learn." the man in white replied.
"Like what?" Starsky asked the man.
"David...your friend will be going through some very difficult times in the coming days...you'll need to know what to do when the time arises." the man in white replied.
"I just need to be there with him...right?" Starsky exclaimed.
The man in white just smiled slightly and shook his head as he replied. "You seem to underestimate how close the two of you really were David."
Starsky looked at him, uncertain of what he was getting at.
"I know how close we were...nobody needs to tell me that!" Starsky argued back.
The man in white just stared back at Starsky then added. "Grief can make the strongest of people display incredible weakness David."
Starsky moved closer to the other man then continued to question him. "Just what are you saying...are you trying to tell me that Hutch...that he would..."
"Yes...that is exactly what I'm trying to say." the man replied.
Starsky stood there with his mouth opened slightly then he began to shake his head back and forth in denial. "No...no way...there is no way Hutch would do that...I mean sure he's hurtin' right now but that's gonna' pass...he just wouldn't do that!"
"I can only hope you're right David for his sake." the man in white replied.
Starsky paused in thought as he ran his hand through his dark curls.
"Okay...say he did try to...there's gotta' be a way to stop him right...I mean me being his protector or whatever it is you people call it...you gotta' tell me how these special powers of mine work!" Starsky asked.
"We don't really like to refer to them as special powers David...we prefer devine intervention." the man said with a smile.
"Well whatever you call it you gotta show me what I need to do to help Hutch!" Starsky demanded.
"I can't really show you David...it's something you have to feel in your heart and in your soul...and in the soul of the loved one you are watching over." the man answered back.
"Just what the hell is that suppose to mean?" Starsky cursed.
The man in white cringed at Starsky's rough language then replied. "There will be times when Kenneth will not know you are there at his side...it's when he sinks to his absolute lowest and has lost every ounce of faith that your presence will become it's most powerful."
"You're not giving me much to go on here Fella'...sounds like one big, fat riddle to me!" Starsky growled.
"Just look into your heart David...with a bond as strong as the two of you share you will know what to do when the time comes...you'll see you can do some pretty amazing things with your...special powers...until then...just be with him...your love will keep him from harm." the man in white replied.
"Now...I'm afraid I must leave you for now David...I have other matters to attend to...feel free to walk the grounds...I have a feeling you will find it quite enjoyable." the man in white said coyly.
Starsky watched the man in white walk away.
He then stood there alone as he scanned his surroundings.
Starsky spied an area off to his right where a huge grove of cherry trees were in full bloom so he made his way over them.
As he got closer he could hear what sounded like children laughing and playing.
As he entered the grove of trees the sweet smell of cherry blossoms filled the air and Starsky enhaled deeply.
As he looked out in front of him he could see dozens upon dozens of children playing in a park like setting and having a joyful time.
A sense of contentment filled his whole being as he watched the children play.
He watched a while longer and was just about to move on when a voice from behind spoke softly to him. "Hello Dave."
Starsky froze when he heard the sweet-sounding, familiar voice.
Certain that his ears were playing tricks on him, he slowly turned around so as not to frighten the voice away.
Starsky's heart skipped a thousand beats when he saw the woman standing before him.
"Terry...my God it's really you...you're really here...of course you're here...there's nowhere else you could possibly be...I don't believe it!" Starsky exclaimed as his heart pounded in his chest.
He rushed towards her and scooped her up in his arms swinging her in one complete circle, then he sat her down again only to squeeze her tightly in his arms while she laughed.
"I've been waiting for you Dave...ever since they told me that you..." Terry started to say but then dropped her chin to her chest in sadness.
"Hey...what's that sad little look about...you're not happy to see me?" he asked her as he placed his hand under her chin and raised it up so they were looking into each other's eyes.
Terry smiled ever so slightly as she replied while a tear slid down her cheek. "It's just that...I didn't think it would be so soon!"
"C'mere will ya'...I've been waiting to do this for a while now." Starsky whispered softly as he pulled Terry into his arms and kissed her tenderly.
It seemed like an eternity before their lips separated.
When they finally did, Terry was the first to speak. "Wow...I'm still seeing stars and fireworks."
Starsky chuckled as he kissed the tip of her nose.
"Come on...let me show you around." Terry said as she took Starsky's hand and gave it a tug. "It's a pretty amazing place!"
...
After Hutch left the Dobey's he walked down the street into town and called a cab from the local gas station and had it drop him off at Huggy's.
When Hutch walked into The Pits, Huggy could hardly believe his eyes.
He almost didn't recognized his blond friend.
Hutch barely acknowledged Huggy as he crawled up onto a stool at the bar and asked for a beer.
Huggy hesitated at first then poured his friend a glass from the tap and placed it in front of him.
"Hutch I thought you were staying at Dobey's tonight?" Huggy questioned the blond.
"I snuck out of the house...don't say anything Hug...the old man's liable to ground me." Hutch tried to make a joke but Huggy wasn't laughing.
"Awww c'mon Hug...lighten up will ya'!" Hutch added before chugging his beer down in a couple of gulps.
"How 'bout another Hug!" Hutch said as he pushed the empty mug closer to Huggy.
"How 'bout I fix ya' somethin' to eat...you look like the walking dead!" Huggy replied, then winced when he realized what he had just said.
Hutch looked at his friend then forced a smile. "Haven't you heard Hug...there's a lot of that going around lately."
Huggy frowned then reluctantly poured Hutch another beer and sat it on the bar.
Hutch downed the second beer in a matter of minutes and asked for another but Huggy refused.
"C'mon Huggy...I took a cab here for Christsake...I'm not even driving!" Hutch argued.
Huggy paused, he knew Hutch was really hurting and he also knew the alcohol would numb the pain, at least for a little while so he replied. "Okay...I'll make a deal with ya'...I'll keep the brewskis flowin' for as long as ya' want if you agree to crash in the apartment upstairs!"
Hutch contemplated Huggy's deal. It had been a while since he last stepped foot in the upstairs apartment.
The memories of that dreadful night still haunted his dreams, the painful cramps, the prufuse sweating, the wretched vomiting as he went through the heroin withdrawl.
There were some good memories that came out of that horrible night as well and they all centered around Starsky.
Hutch thought back to how Starsky held him in his arms and promised him that everything would be alright, how he was safe and that there was no way he'd let Forest or anyone else harm him again.
Maybe spending the night upstairs wouldn't be so bad after all.
Maybe by some small chance a bit of Starsky still lingered in that room at the top of the stairs.
"Alright Hug...you gotta' deal." Hutch said as he nudged the empty glass towards Huggy.
Huggy, satisified that Hutch would be close enough for him to keep an eye on him, filled his glass again and again and again.
...
"So what do you do here for fun?" Starsky asked Terry.
"Everything and anything Dave...whatever your heart desires." Terry replied as they walked along hand in hand.
They stopped near a waterfall and they paused to watch the small rapids as they flowed over the rocks.
Terry could see the troubled look on Starsky's face.
"You're worried about him aren't you?" Terry asked.
Starsky looked at her then nodded.
"You have good reason to be afraid Dave...I know how you feel...I've been there too...with you." she replied as she gazed out over the water then back at him.
"You were there that night?" Starsky asked, avoiding her eyes as he thought back to Terry's death and how he didn't know if he wanted to live or die .
"Yes...with your father." she answered.
"It would have been so easy that night to have ended it all Terry...the papers would have called it an accident...cop shoots himself while cleaning his handgun." Starsky added as the guilt came flooding back.
Terri placed her arm around Starsky's waist and pulled him close.
"I guess I have you and Pop to thank for that one huh?" he asked.
"Nope...I wish we could take credit for that one...that was all Hutch's doing." she replied.
"Love can do some pretty amazing things Dave...it can drag you back from the most hideous and darkest of places when you and another share the same soul." Terry told him.
Starsky looked at her with questioning eyes.
"Are you trying to tell me Hutch and I are soulmates?" Starsky chuckled.
"You don't have to be lovers to be soulmates Dave." Terry replied.
Starsky stared into Terry's face then asked. "You were never jealous of our friendship were you...not like some of the other women Hutch and I knew?"
"No...I always knew that no one but Hutch could take that special place in your heart and I was perfectly okay with that...I still am." Terry said as she rubbed his back.
Starsky turned so they were standing face to face.
"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" Starsky asked.
"It's been a while." Terry answered back as she stood on her toes and kissed the man in front of her.
"I love you too." she added.
...
Hutch looked around the bar at all the people having a good time, laughing and dancing.
He watched as lovers kissed and held one another and he suddenly felt so empty inside.
That's when he realized no amount of liquor would ever dull his pain, he needed to look for another outlet.
Huggy had just gone to the back to get more Tequila per a customer's request so Hutch took the oppurtunity to stumbled out the front door.
When Huggy returned he noticed right away that the blond was gone.
Thinking Hutch had gone to the room upstairs, Huggy bounded up the steps to check on his friend.
He was surprised to find the room empty as well as the bathroom adjoining the room.
Huggy tore out of the room and raced down the steps and out the front door in search of his friend.
He looked up and down the street but saw no sign of the blond detective.
"Dammit Hutch...we had a deal!" Huggy called out as he cursed his missing friend.
Huggy then threw up his hands and walked back into the bar to make a call to Dobey.
...
Hutch staggered into the bar down the street from Huggy's before his friend ever knew he was missing.
The bar was dark and quiet as Hutch made his way to the closest table he could find for fear of falling flat on his face.
The waitress came over to his table and took his drink order then walked back to the bar to retrieve it.
As she made her way back around the bar a woman's voice called out to her. "I'll take that if you don't mind Hon...just put it on my tab."
The woman then made her way across the room to the blond.
"Buy you a drink Sugar?" the woman asked as she placed the shot of whiskey in front of Hutch.
Hutch looked up at the woman and smiled.
"Sweet Alice." the blond answered softly and low.
Alice tried not to gasp when she saw the look of despair in Hutch's normally sparkling blue eyes.
"Would you like some company Handsome Hutch?" Sweet Alice asked.
Hutch pulled out the chair next to him and motioned for her to sit down.
Alice took the offered seat next to the blond and watched as he swallowed down the shot of whiskey.
She could tell it burned his throat as he swallowed but Hutch never let on.
She hated to watch the man she always admired from afar falling apart right in front of her eyes.
"Hon...I'm so sorry about Dave...he was such a good man." Sweet Alice said lovingly.
"Yeah." was all Hutch said in reply.
"Listen Love...if there's anything I can do..." Alice started to say when Hutch interrupted her.
"You got your car outside?" Hutch asked her.
"Yes." she said as she shook her head.
"Can you give me a ride home?" Hutch asked.
"Sure Handsome Hutch." Alice said as she quickly got up and grabbed her purse from the table with one hand and attempted to help Hutch up with the other.
As the two of them walked out into the cool night air Alice struggled to keep Hutch up on his feet until they reached her car.
It was a small light blue Chevy convertible with dark blue leather seats.
Alice tossed her purse in the middle of the front seat then opened the passenger's side door and helped Hutch in.
Alice then made her way around to the driver's side and climbed in as well.
As an after thought, Alice reached over and pulled the seatbelt across Hutch's waist then buckled him in securely as the blond laid his head back against the seat.
"You just relax Sugar...I'll have you home in no time!" Alice said as she put the car in gear and pulled away.
...
As Alice drove along she contemplated how in the world she was going to get the drunken blond up his apartment stairs.
She looked over at the man beside her as she waited for the light to change then made an split instant decision and turned right instead of left.
Hutch was conscious enough to realize they were going in the opposite direction from his apartment and he questioned her.
"I'm not gonna' be able to get you up those stairs at your place Sugar...you can spend the night at my place tonight." Alice told Hutch.
Hutch looked over at her and smiled mischieviously then asked. "Is that a proposition?"
The hurt immediately blanketed Alice's eyes as Hutch mistook her kindness for something completely different.
Hutch saw the hurt and suddenly felt very guilty.
"I'm sorry Alice...I didn't mean that." Hutch apologized.
Alice knew Hutch wasn't himself and that it was his grief talking.
"It's okay Handsome Hutch I know you didn't mean it." Alice replied as she smiled adoringly at the blond.
Alice pulled the convertible into her drive and parked it.
She then helped Hutch inside to her apartment and then onto her living room sofa.
She went into the bedroom, switched on the light beside the bed and then turned down the comforter and sheets on the bed.
Hutch was already starting to nod off when she walked back out to the living room.
"C'mon Hon...let's get you to bed." Alice said softly as she helped Hutch to his feet and into the bedroom.
She plopped Hutch down on the bed and helped him lay down.
Alice then removed Hutch's shoes and socks then removed his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt.
She then managed to peel his shirt off and proceeded to undo the belt buckle on his jeans.
Hutch quickly placed his hands atop hers to stop her.
Alice looked up into Hutch's eyes and smiled. "Sugar...you forget...I've undressed many a man in my day."
This time it was Hutch's eyes that filled up with hurt.
He strongly disliked the kind of work Sweet Alice did and hated to be reminded of it.
Alice picked up on what the blond was feeling and suddenly felt extremely embarrassed.
Hutch sensed her embarrassment and smiled slightly as he reached up and touched her cheek.
"You're one hell of a lady Sweet Alice!" Hutch told her, his voice scratchy and low.
"Only around you Love...only around you." Alice replied as she felt her pulse speed up with his touch.
Hutch then brushed his fingers downward and traced the outline of Alice's lips.
Alice knew she needed to stop what was happening but she felt it impossible to move.
How many nights had this man filled her dreams and how many times had she dreamt him into her bed?
Hutch could see the desire mounting in her eyes.
"Hutch I don't..." was all Alice could get out before Hutch pulled her down and crushed her lips to his.
Alice grazed her fingers around the back of Hutch's neck and ran them through his silky, blond hair as they both moaned with pleasure.
Hutch then placed his hand on Alice's left breast and worked his hand through the material on her dress until he felt the softness of her skin underneath.
Alice was quickly jolted to her senses and somehow managed to pull herself away from Hutch's tender carress.
"No...this isn't right Hutch...not like this!" Alice said as she got up off the bed and straightened the front of her dress.
Hutch could clearly see how upset Alice was and he turned over on his side and looked away.
"I'm sorry...I just keep saying and doing the wrong things tonight don't I?" Hutch told her.
With his head was turned away and his face hidden, Alice sooned realized that Hutch was weeping quietly into her pillow.
Alice's heart ached for the blond in more ways than one and she sank back down onto the bed and pulled him into her lap.
"It's gonna' be okay Handsome Hutch." Alice whispered sweetly as she brushed the blond's cheek and caressed his long, golden locks.
Alice then bent down and kissed his forehead as she rocked him gently in her arms.
...
The next morning, Alice dropped Hutch off at his apartment.
As he unlocked his door he was greeted by the sound of his telephone ringing.
Not wanting to talk to anyone he took his time with answering it.
"Hello." he mumbled into the phone.
"Well thank goodness your home...we've been worried sick about you...why did you leave last night the way you did?" Dobey asked his detective in a concerned voice.
Hutch rolled his eyes then answered. "I just had to go out Captain...I-I appreciated the hospitality but I just needed to get away."
"Okay...I buy that but you had us pretty worried...we didn't know if you were home in bed or if you were laying face down in a ditch somewhere!" Dobey replied loudly.
"Not yet Captain but I'm working on it!" Hutch thought to himself.
"Oh and called here looking for you...her and Nick were taking an early flight in...they should be here by two o'clock at the latest to go over Starsky's...to go over the arrangements." Dobey added somewhat softer.
Hutch was silent.
"Hutch are you still there?" Dobey questioned the blond.
"Yeah Captain...I'm still here." Hutch answered back somberly as he rubbed his face with his hands.
"Alright...I'll let you go then...you keep in contact you hear?" Dobey exclaimed.
"Yeah I hear ya' Captain." Hutch replied as he hung up the phone.
Hutch then walked over to the stove and began to percolate a pot of coffee.
While the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the room Hutch decided to take a much needed, nice, long, hot shower.
He sat down on the bed to remove his shoes then decided his bed felt to inviting not to take a quick nap so he laid down on the bed and fell fast asleep.
...
"Excuse me David...I hate to break up this lovely reunion." the man in white said as he interrupted Starsky and Terry's walk.
"Oh it's okay Sir...I was just showing Dave around." Terry replied happily.
The man in white nodded with a smile then added. "David...I thinks it's time you went to work."
"Work?" Starsky questioned the man.
"Yes...your mother and brother will be visiting Kenneth soon and I have a feeling Nicholas will not be on his best behavior!" the man in white informed him as he raised his eyebrows.
"Terrific!" Starsky said with a dissaproving frown.
"I'll see ya' later Babe!" Starsky told Terry as he gave her a quick peck on the cheek before running off.
As the man in white and Terry watched him flee Terry asked. "Do you think he'll be alright?"
"Oh he's far from ready my Dear but I think he'll pick things up quite quickly." the man in white replied.
...
Hutch was awaken by the sound of someone knocking on his front door.
He quickly sat up and looked at the alarm clock by the bed.
"Shit!" he cursed out loud as he sprang from the bed.
He hurried into the bathroom and splashed some cold water on his face and ran his fingers through his tousled hair.
"Oh man!" Hutch shook his head in disgust as he dabbed his face with a towel and hurried to answer the door.
The party on the other side of the door began to rap louder and Hutch opened it to find Starsky's mother and brother waiting.
Nick let his mother go in first.
She noted Hutch's discheveled appearance and the heavy, dark circles under his eyes but refrained from saying a word as she gave him a hug and kiss.
Nick then entered the apartment and Hutch held out his hand which Nick declined to shake.
When Mrs. Starsky was far enough away from ear-shot Nick leaned in close to Hutch's face and growled softly. "It's about time!"
Hutch knew right away their visit was probably not going to go to well, he just took a deep breath and closed the door.
"I'm sorry about keeping you waiting...I laid down for a quick nap and must have fallen asleep." Hutch apologized as he combed his fingers through his hair again subconsciously.
"Well it obviously wasn't because you were getting all dolled up for us." Nick replied as he rolled his eyes at the blond.
"Nicholas!" Mrs. Starsky exclaimed.
That's okay Dear...it's perfectly understandable." Mrs. Starsky added as she came to Hutch's defense.
"Uhhh won't you sit down?" Hutch offered.
Mrs. Starsky sat down on the sofa but Nick chose to stand off to the side with his arms crossed over his chest.
Hutch then sat next to Starsky's mother and wiped his hand under his chin nervously as he waited for the day's topic to begin.
Mrs. Starsky looked over at Hutch and smiled sympathetically. "How are you Dear?" she asked.
Hutch sighed deeply then replied as he shook his head. "Not good Rachelle...I-I'm a little lost."
Mrs. Starsky nodded her head as she watched the tears pool in Hutch's eyes.
She patted and squeezed Hutch's knee as she retrieved a tissue from her purse for herself.
Mrs. Starsky dabbed the tissue at the corner of each eye and sniffled before continuing.
"I still can't believe he's gone...first his father...now David." Mrs. Starsky sobbed.
Hutch closed his eyes as she spoke as if it would be easier to take.
"We'll be having a traditional Jewish service for David...are you familiar at all about our customs?" Mrs. Starsky asked.
"Uhhh...not much really... I did attend a service one time with Starsk...uhhh David...but other than that not much." Hutch told her.
"Well...we can fill you in on all that later when the time comes but it is customary to have the burial as soon as possible." Starsky's mother told him.
Hutch nodded then asked. "Rachelle if I may ask...just where will Starsky be buried?"
Mrs. Starsky smiled then replied. "It was his wishes to remain here in Bay City."
Hutch breathed a sigh of relief, grateful his best friend would remain close.
"The Rabbi is making all the necessary arrangements and the Chevra Kadisha are preparing David as we speak." Mrs. Starsky said.
"I-I'm sorry...the Chevra K-Kadisha?" Hutch asked.
"Yes...they are a group of men or women...in David's case a group of men who have taken on the obligation of ritually preparing David's...body...they will perform the Taharah which is the purification process." Starsky's mother informed him.
Hutch thought for a moment, if had it not been Starsky's death was the reason for the service, he would have found their customs fasinating.
Nick remained in the background, sulking quietly as his mother and Hutch conversed.
"Now..I'm sure you'd like to say a few words at the service Kenneth?" Mrs. Starsky asked.
"A few words...how can I possibly express how I feel about this man in only a few words?" Hutch thought to himself as he nodded yes.
"Everything else will be taken care of by the Rabbi...it's customary to not have any or very few floral arrangements and the casket will be of a simple design..." Starsky's mother began to say.
"I-I'm sorry but what is the reason for the lack of flowers and a plain casket?" Hutch asked.
"It's physical proof Kenneth that we take nothing with us when we leave this world..and we are judged solely on our good merits and deeds...not on our material wealth." Mrs. Starsky explained.
"Well Buddy you're a shoe-in if that's the case!" Hutch thought to himself as he thought of Starsky.
Just then the front door opened up and a gust of wind blew across the room.
"That's strange I don't recall that ever happening before!" Hutch said to himself as he got up to close the door again.
Starsky huffed and puffed as he made his way across the room happy to see his mother and brother again.
"Well Dear...we've taken up a good deal of your time and I'm sure you need your rest...we'll fill you in on the rest of the service procedures later." Mrs. Starsky said as she rose up from the sofa.
"Nicholas and I are staying at my sister Rose's place until after the services I left the number there on the coffee table...you call me if you need anything." Starsky's mother told him as she gave him another peck on the cheek before heading out the door.
"Wait a second Ma!" Nick said loudly to halt her at the door.
Hutch, Starsky and Mrs. Starsky all looked over at Nick.
"Before we go I wanna' know just exactly what happened the day Davey was killed!" Nick spat.
Hutch knew the conversation would eventually turn to that topic.
Hutch took a deep breath and replied. "We answered a call of an armed robbery at a convience store."
They're were to armed men...they killed the clerk...when we got there they were held up inside...they had the back door of the building barracaded...Starsky and I went through the front before they had the chance to barracade that as well..." Hutch proceeded to explain.
"Don't you mean Davey went through?" Nick hissed as he walked over to Hutch and got in his face.
Starsky took the oppurtunity to step between them.
"No...we both went in together...I flipped a coin!" Hutch told him.
"You flipped a coin?" Nick laughed a dirty laugh. "Is that the way you determined how my brother lived or died by flippin' a Goddamned coin?"
Hutch thought back to that morning and how he won the coin toss to go in first and how at the last second, Starsky darted in front of him, practically shoving him out of the way.
"Back off Nick!" Starsky warned his brother.
"I won the toss...your brother somehow got in front of me!" Hutch replied as his voice began to crack from emotion.
"He somehow got in front of you huh...admit it Hutch...you're the reason my brother's dead...it's because of you my big brother is down at the morgue laying on a cold slab where you're suppose to be!" Nick spouted out angrily.
"That's enough Nick...you have no idea what happened!" Starsky roared.
"I hate you Hutchinson...from the very first day I ever laid eyes on you...I knew one of these days you'd get my brother killed you son of a bitch!" Nick shouted.
"I'm warning you Nick...you back off now or else!" Starsky threatened.
By now Mrs. Starsky was getting extremely upset over her youngest son's actions and angry words.
"Nicholas please...what would your brother think..it wasn't Kenneth's fault!" she cried out.
Hutch looked over at Starsky's mother then Nick, then he spoke up.
"Don't you think if I could...I'd trade places with him...do you know how many times I've wished it were me instead of Starsky down in that morgue..that I was dead and he was up walking around?" Hutch sobbed.
Starsky shook his head no as he listened to Hutch speak.
"You're pathetic Hutch...Davey was too good of a cop to be partnered with the likes of you!" Nick bellowed then pulled his arm back, ready to strike Hutch in the face.
Starsky saw what was about to happen before Hutch did and he stepped over and forced the door to close between the blond and Nick.
This acted as a buffer between the two men as Nick's fist smashed into the solid wood door.
You could hear the bones crack in his hand from the force of the blow.
Hutch and Mrs. Starsky stood there stupified, unsure of what had just occured.
Then the pain came and Nick cried out as he held his damaged hand.
"Nick... I-I'm sorry...I don't know how that happened!" Hutch said apologetically as he reached out to Nick.
"Why'd you do it Nicky...dammit you had it coming!" Starsky said regrettably.
"Nicholas!" his mother sobbed as she went to her son.
"Don't touch me!" Nick screamed out at Hutch.
He then stormed out the door.
"Rachelle I'm sorry I really didn't mean for that to happen!" Hutch insisted.
"It's alright Dear." she replied as she patted Hutch's hand before following her son down the apartment steps.
After Mrs. Starsky and Nick were gone Hutch remained at the doorway with a confused look on his face.
He stood at the door and moved it back and forth as he checked both sides of the door, he even checked the hinges.
"I don't understand it!" he said out loud to himself.
"That was pretty good wasn't it Hutch?" Starsky chuckled.
"I mean sure it was mean and all but he really had it comin' Hutch!" Starsky added as he hurried over to the window and watched his brother carrying on down in the street.
"Awww c'mon Hutch he deserved it the way he was talking to you like that!" Starsky defended his actions.
Starsky watched as his friend closed the front door then walked into his bedroom and sat down on the bed.
"Hey...you okay?" Starsky asked as he followed his partner.
Hutch just sat there staring off into space.
"Hutch...hey Buddy...you're not takin' what Nick said seriously are ya'?" Starsky asked as he crouched down in front of Hutch.
"He's right Starsk...it is my fault...it should have been me!" Hutched sobbed tearfully as if he was answering his unseen partner.
"Oh c'mon Hutch...don't say that!" Starsky pleaded with the blond.
"Nick's right...I-I am pathetic!" Hutch hissed as he cut himself down to size.
"No way Hutch...I'm not gonna' let you rip yourself apart like this!" Starsky argued.
Just then Hutch got to his feet and headed for the living room.
He grabbed the car keys on the coffee table and headed out the front door.
"Wait a second Hutch...where ya' going?" Starsky called after his partner.
Hutch hurried down the steps and climbed into his car and tore off down the street.
"Oh for cryin' out loud Hutchinson...where the hell are ya' going?" Starsky yelled out as he watched Hutch's car disappear from sight.