Livs Place
I knew something was wrong the moment I saw Jerry and then Zaire calls crying. Something happened and either both are in trouble or something happened between them. I love that Jerry calls me mom and we have this bond. I never thought I was the mothering type but Jerry changed that for me the moment I met him just like his father sucked me in, the Grant men can't live with them but I for sure can't live without them. I know I may be overstepping my place but I love Jerry if he was my own and I will and would do anything for him.
As we walked up to my place Jerry stopped crying and breathed a sigh that sounded like relief.
"You good?"
"No but I think I may be done crying for the next 30 minutes."
We enter my place and go straight to the couch and sit, "Jerry I'm not going to lie this is scaring me. You coming in the middle of the night crying, getting calls from your father and Zaire. Talk to me sweetie."
I grab a pillow and pull it close to me, "have you ever cheated on someone or been cheated on?"
Not wanting to lie but and be open with him as much as I could, "yes."
"Which one?"
"Both."
"With dad?" I can tell she was surprised.
"I've known since the trail really. I was mad at you and dad for a while but I saw the way he acted around you. He was no longer the sad guy pretending to be happy. He was happy and you seemed lighter around him. I got over it and I accepted that you are the love of my dad's life but he's stuck between two dreams he wants."
"Jerry I'm so sorry you found out like that. We never meant to hurt you in anyway."
"Mom like I said I was over it pretty quickly. It was more shock than anything."
I can feel her staring at me and I know she feels guilty, "mom really I'm cool with it. You can't help who you fall in love with."
"Jerry what happened?"
"I did the worse thing ever. I cheated on Zaire."
I'm thankful she doesn't say anything for a while before I continue, "hear it goes. I was being stupid jealous and I basically said Z was using me and was pretending to be gay and then I half assed broke up with him and went to a party got wasted on whatever I was drinking and weed."
"Jerry.."
"Oh wait it gets better I go to a room with this girl. We kissed and she is touching things and she gets naked. Once I come to my damn senses Zaire comes in and sees it all. But I swear nothing happened with her. Something did but didn't you know. I'm a horrible person."
"Jerry you made a mistake."
"But that doesn't excuse what I did. You should know that is just an easy excuse to use. It was my dad who cheated on you and you on him?"
"Yes but that was different."
"The details might be different but you still feel the pain it caused. You will always have it in the back of your head that you have to always prove to them that you will never happen again, that it was truly a horrible lack in judgment."
Sighing, "when your dad cheated on me it hurt bad, I even had to fix the affair. But we got thru it. It took time but we fought for our love and you need to do that to."
"Mom I said and did the most hurtful things to him. He won't forgive me and if there was a chance that he did he wouldn't look at me the same."
"Jerry you don't know unless you try."
I hear what she is saying but it's all too much right now, "I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep forever."
"I have you one better, how about we order some greasy Chinese and watch movies until we can't keep our eyes open."
"That sounds good."
"And just because you are hurting right now don't forget that you are in so much trouble with the drinking and smoking."
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
Liv gets up to order the food while I curl up in a ball and stare at a picture of me and Zaire laughing. I even find a small video he sneaked on my phone. I lay there for a long time I'm guessing because the next thing I know is my dad is walking in with the food.
"Hi dad."
"Hey Jer. Hungry?"
"Not really."
"Jerry come eat, I know you remember and if you're anything like Liv you most likely don't remember when the last time you ate actual food."
"I heard that and that wouldn't be the reason why he wouldn't remember Fitz," Liv says while walking back into the living room in her white silk pants and what can only be my dads Navy shirt.
"What does that mean?"
"I'll let him tell you because I think it's time we had a deep talk with your father now don't you think Jerry?"
"Mom.."
"No buts Jerry he needs to know."
It was kind of weird being in the same room with the people I consider parents. Dad had a confused look on his face and I didn't know if it was because he never seen Liv be strict with me or if he was just completely lost. I guessed the second one.
"I'm going to take a quick shower and we can sit down and eat after."
"Okay dad."
He looked really comfortable here and I can tell this wasn't his first time here. He brought a bag with him which Liv and I both just noticed.
"What's that," she says pointing to the bag.
"It's a bag filled with clothes for me and Jerry. Look whatever is going on here is big and we don't need any interruptions and before you say it the rest of everything is handled."
I watch as my dad walks over to her and is about kiss her but thinks twice and looks over at me like this is the first time he noticed I was in the room.
"Dad you can kiss Liv in front of me and yes I know about you guys, I've know for years actually, I'm fine with it."
"Supposedly he has known for a while now about us."
"Is that so?"
"Yea, so go on and kiss her."
Not even having to think about it twice Fitz leans in and kisses Liv. The kiss turns in a different direction for a quick second before Jerry makes a sound.
"I said kiss not make out. No one wants to see their parents make out. Gross," he says while getting up and walking away to set the table.
"Mom? When did all this start?"
"Go shower so we can eat Mr. President we have a lot to talk about."
After Fitz took a quick shower and changed into some sweats and fitted white t shirt he made his way to the kitchen following the laughter.
"Really you almost burnt down your dorm."
"I was trying to make us some chocolate covered pretzels and I let the chocolate sit too long and it started to get hard and then the bowl starting making this popping sound and in storms Caleb."
"Jerry.. wow, just wow."
Fitz took in the scene in front of him and committed it to memory. They were two loves of his life bonding and they were doing it right under his nose. Feeling his stomach rumble he was brought out of his haze.
"Sorry to interrupt this moment but I'm hungry."
"Well took you long enough, let's eat."
They all sit and pile food on to their plates. They talk about Fitz and Livs day. Jerry could feel that time was coming and it was getting harder to breathe but he had Liv by his side so he could do anything he hoped. He was glad she would be there for when he came out. It just felt right especially the way she found out. He considers this his do over and he was going to get it right.
"So Jerry you want to tell me what's going on?"
"Nothing really."
"Seriously I know I taught you deflect better than that," Liv says tilting her head to the side.
Sighing, "well it's…ummm, how do I start this."
"How about you start when you started calling Liv mom."
"Okay. I started calling her mom a long time ago. It just felt right, I asked if I could keep calling her mom she said yes and it stuck. She treats me like her kid too. She helps me in problems but also disciplines me when needed. She talks, listens and is just there when I need her. I love her, she's my mom and I wouldn't trade her for anyone," he finishes looking at Liv who has a few tears in her eyes.
"Well I wasn't expecting that."
"Are you crying mom?"
"No. I don't cry. I'm a gladiator."
"Liv are you okay?" Fitz asks not sure if they were happy tears or not.
"I'm fine guys, geez a girl cant a little teary."
I explain a little more about our relationship and I can see it in my dad's eyes that he is happy but is still worried so I take a deep breath and summon the courage to tell him.
"I know that I scared you earlier and I am sorry for that. What I'm about to tell you is something I need for you to listen to all the way thru without interrupting," I look up at him and he nods, taking another breath I continue, "I have always felt that I was different growing up, and it wasn't in a bad way but I knew from a young age the way I was feeling could hinder your success. I kept my emotions bottled up as best as I could. I knew Liv had a feeling about what I was feeling but she didn't say anything and that was the day I decided to let her in little by little. I know I'm babbling right know so ill come out with it. I'm gay. And I know I must be a disappointment to you and I'm sorry. But I love him dad and he loves me. This is not some phase but who I am. And the guy I am in love with is Zaire. He's the love my life and I know this because I feel it in my gut. We have been dating this whole time and he makes me happy, makes me feel safe and he loves me for me. And I blew it," I was starting to get choked up again and tears running down my face, "I hurt him really bad dad. I cheated on him. How could I do something like that, if I say that I love him so much how could I do that. Nothing happened with this person except kissing but she ended up being naked and he caught me with my pants down literally and he ran out. But before all that happened I called him a liar and said that he was using me. I don't know why I said that but I did, so I called you after he left me. So there is the whole story."
I look at him and to say the least he was shocked, "dad say something please."
He looks in my eyes, "you're gay?"
"Yes."
"And your roommate is your boyfriend?"
"Was because I was so stupid but yes."
"And you cheated on him with a girl?"
"Yes. Dad can you please say a full sentence."
"Do you really love him?"
"Yes I do but dad…"
"So what do you plan on doing to get him back?"
I was stunned silent, I didn't see him saying that, "what do you mean?"
"If you say you love him as much as you say you do than you will do anything to get him back right?"
"Of course but I don't know what to do."
"Of course you do. I thought the same thing when I made the same mistake you made but I fought and I will keep fighting till the end," he says while grabbing Livs hand.
"Fitz…"
"It's alright. Jerry I am not proud of the way me and Liv started but I don't regret it for a second. We broke up for a while and I ended up cheating on her. I know it broke her because I felt it, I saw the pain it caused her and I never wanted to be the one who put that pain in her eyes, but I did."
"What did you do?"
"Pleaded and pleaded. Said I was sorry and fought for her. I called her as much as I could to the point that she summoned me here and tore me a new one. After that I showed her I was sorry and kept my word."
"Then why are you still married to Mellie?"
"That is a story for another day. Go get some rest sleep on it a little your emotions are on a high and you need all the energy if you're going to get the love of your life back."
"I am tired and I do want him back. Dad but how do you feel about what I said?"
"Jerry as long as your happy and safe I am fine. I'm glad you came out to me but for me really I don't see why you have to come out. For me being straight I didn't have to tell my parents that so I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn't be your true self around me. You are my son and I love you no matter what, you will never be a disappointment. "
I get up and hug my dad," thank you."
His answer was just to hug me tighter. I look over at Liv and she has left to give us a moment.
"Dad keep fighting for mom because one day I will love to be part of the Grant Pope clan. She might not have given birth to me but she's my mom. She loves you and if you hurt her just know I choose her side."
"Noted and I will keep fighting. Go get some sleep we have a lot to do tomorrow. Starting with coming up a reason why you're here to tell Mellie."
"I understand but the people I needed approval from I already got. The last person I have to tell is Karen but she will be easy."
Kissing me on my head, "I love you Jerry, go get some sleep."
Coming back in the room, "I made the bed up for you and your favorite blanket is in there."
"Thanks mom, I love you."
I give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and walk to my room to try to sleep and think of ways to earn the trust and love back from Zaire.
"Liv we have a son. A son who is gay, dating his roommate and going thru his first heartbreak."
"I have no clue how to help him but I just want to make it better."
Wrapping his hands around her waist from behind and walking her to the bedroom, "I have a way but for now let me just hold you in my arms while our son sleeps in the other room and be at peace and dream that this is forever."
"Anything for you Mr. President."
They climb in bed and get in there usual spooning position, "Fitz how do really feel about everything?"
"As for him being gay, it matters none to me. He can love whoever he wants as long as they treat each other correctly. I feel like I failed him."
"What do you mean?"
"I feel like I taught him cheating is okay."
"Fitz he made his choice and now he has to deal with the consequences."
They lay there absorbing the situation a little more until Fitz breaks the silence.
"Now I don't like that he was sleeping in the same room as his boyfriend what if something happened?"
"At least you didn't get to see it put in action."
Lifting on his elbow and looking her in her eye, "what?"
Realizing what she said she decide to rephrase it, "no nothing like that but they were making out pretty heavy so you may want have the talk with him. He has assured me that nothing happened but he might feel more comfortable telling you if he had."
Laying back down on his back, "I'm not ready for this. Heartbreaks and sex talks, I'm not ready."
"Sorry to break it to ya but it's here and happening."
"Don't make it sound so easy because you will be sitting right there next to me."
"Fitz that's for you and Mellie to do."
"Nope me and his mother will be having the talks and he calls you mom. And if Karen wants to have this talk too, God forbid, but if she does you will be there also."
"Their growing up, when did that happen?"
"I don't know," he says pulling her in to him and laying her head over his heart, "but we can handle it now and we will handle it when we have next two babies together."
"Goodnight Fitz."
"Goodnight Livvie, I love you."
"I love you too Mr. President."