Chapter 11 - Three Days
Gray clouds and snow covered the Grimes' farm as Emma rode slowly up to the open fence. A path from the road to the house had been shoveled, but falling snow was already littering the uncovered ground. Smoke was rising from the chimney in the distance. It was the only sign of life on the farm Emma could see. She rode on towards the house, her eyes roaming the property as Barrow led her. The last time she had seen it, the farm had been full of people having a good time, dancing and laughing. It was a stark contrast to the heavy gloom that seemed to have been draped like a thick quilt over the property after Lori's passing. Emma could feel it even before she found herself at the bottom of the steps of the Grimes' house.
Emma knocked slowly on the front door. She waited several moments before knocking again, much louder than before. There still wasn't an answer, so Emma tried the doorknob. The door was unlocked. Emma let herself in, leaving the door open behind her as she entered the house.
"Mr. Grimes?" Emma's voice seemed to almost echo through the house. "Carl?"
Her footsteps sounded loud to her ears in the stillness. Emma stopped as she gazed into the living room. She remembered the way Lori had been laying on the couch on Thanksgiving, tucked up under a blanket with a brave face. The room was empty, as was the rest of the downstairs. There was no sign of Rick or Carl. Emma could tell that things weren't going well. The house was a disaster area. It hadn't been kept since Lori's death. Emma found empty bottles of whiskey all over the house. The air was thick with it. She had expected as much after having spoken with the reverend.
After thoroughly investigating the downstairs, Emma headed up to the second level. There were four doors to choose from. Emma went to the door at the top of the stairs. She leaned against it, listening for any signs of life. There weren't any. Emma opened the door to the room. She could tell right away that it belonged to Carl - a single bed against the wall, schoolbooks and papers sprawled across the desk in the corner and on the floor, a small fishing pole leaned against the desk. The bed was unmade. There were dirty clothes in a heap on the floor. Emma sighed and shut the bedroom door behind her.
If Emma couldn't tell from the stories the reverend had told her, or from the state of the house, she would have finally figured out just how deep the sheriff's grief ran upon opening the door to the next room. It was Mr. and Mrs. Grimes' bedroom - left exactly how it must have been when Lori died. The quilt was on the floor at the foot of the bed. The sheets were covered in a shapeless, rust colored stain. It was Lori's blood. Emma could smell it from the doorway. She stepped into the room carefully with the eerie feeling that she was desecrating a tomb. The table beside the bed was covered in the aftermath of a complicated birth. A bowl that had probably contained surgical tools was empty, save for blood stained water. Used bandages carrying the same rusty stains as the sheets littered the tabletop. As Emma's eyes fell upon the chaos remaining on the table, evidence that a terrible tragedy had taken place in the room she was standing in, she thought of the anguish and pain Lori must have experienced that day she birthed her daughter. Emma couldn't even imagine.
It was in the next room that Emma encountered Rick. When she opened the door, she paused upon seeing a form sprawled out across the bed inside. Emma guessed that it was Rick. The form was too big to be Carl and she figured neither of Rick's farmhands, Louis and Theodore, were taking a nap during the day.
"Rick?" Emma murmured softly, not wanting to startle him.
There was no answer.
"Rick?" Emma became louder, pushing the door all of the way open.
There was still no answer, nor was there any movement, so Emma entered the room. She went to Rick's side to check on him. Saying that he looked like hell was an understatement. Emma could tell that Rick hadn't bathed, shaved, or groomed at all since Lori's death. His hair was oily at the scalp, the growth on his usually clean shaven face was unkempt. The long underwear he wore was soiled and stunk to high heaven and back. A half drunk bottle of whiskey was tucked under one of his arms.
Emma reached out to shake Rick from his sleep, her eyes fixed on the water pitcher by the bed should Rick not rouse, but she stopped suddenly when she remembered Carl. Emma still hadn't found the boy yet. Since she knew where Rick was, and judging from the bottle he wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon, Emma decided to let him lie for the time being and find Carl. She thought of what Lori would want. Emma guessed that she would want Emma to look out for her young son first. If Rick were in his right mind, he probably would have wanted the same thing. So, Emma left Rick to sleep it off so that she could locate Carl.
Since he wasn't anywhere to be found within the house, Emma had a pretty good idea of where to find the kid. She headed back outside and in the direction of the barn. She figured the farmhands would be at work inside. If Carl wasn't there with them, they could at least point Emma in the direction of Lori's final resting place. The path that had once been cleared between the house and the barn was practically covered. Emma trudged through the snow, bringing Barrow along behind her. When she got to the barn, she threw open the doors. Sure enough, both farmhands were inside. Louis was forking hay and Theodore was grooming a horse. They both stopped what they were doing when Emma entered.
"Hey, I know you." Theodore pointed at Emma. "You used to work for old man Greene, right? You stayed with Reverend Horvath for a while?"
"That's right." Emma replied with a nod.
"Oh!" Louis suddenly cried. "You work for them Dixon boys now, don'tcha?"
"I used to." Emma let go of Barrow's reigns. "I work here now."
Louis stabbed his pitchfork into the ground so that he could set one hand on his hip.
"You do?" Louis asked, raising an eyebrow. "Rick hired you?"
"Mrs. Grimes hired me before she passed away." Emma explained, giving Barrow's rump a gentle pat. "Is there an empty stall for my horse?"
Louis and Theodore exchanged a puzzled look, but Theodore led Emma and Barrow down the row of stalls until they reached an empty one. Emma made sure Barrow was watered before she left him to rest in his new home. The two farmhands had resumed their work while Emma had tended to Barrow's needs. When she was finished, she returned to where Louis and Theodore were working.
"Have either of you seen Carl today?" Emma asked, looking between the two.
Louis leaned on his pitchfork.
"He spends a lot of time with his mama these days." Louis replied mournfully, looking down at the ground.
"Where is she?" Emma asked.
"She's resting out in the apple orchard." Theodore answered, still brushing the horse.
It was easy to see the orchard from the farm. Most of the trees on the Grimes' property had been cut down. The cluster of apple trees, leafless and fruitless, stuck out. As Emma headed in that direction, she could see a small form just outside the orchard. Of course, it was Carl. The boy was sitting cross legged in the snow, an open book in his lap. He was resting his face upon his fists as he stared down at the book in front of him. Beside him was his mother's grave. The snow covered the dirt that had been disturbed not long ago. The gravestone marking Lori's final resting place was inscribed with her full name, her date of birth, and the date she died.
Emma cleared her throat. The sound got Carl's attention. He turned his head to look up at whomever had disturbed him. A look of confusion came over him when he saw that it was Emma.
"What're you doing here?" Carl asked, squinting up at Emma.
"Your mama hired me before..." Emma slowly crouched down beside Carl when his face fell upon her mentioning his mother. "I work for your daddy, now."
"What for?" Carl mumbled, his eyes on his book.
"To help around the house, around the farm." Emma answered softly.
Carl grunted to acknowledge Emma's reply.
"Why don't we get you out of the snow?" Emma suggested, brushing away the flakes that had collected on Carl's shoulders. "I can fix you something-"
"I want to stay out here." Carl interrupted Emma roughly, shrugging out from underneath Emma's touch.
When Emma took hold of Carl's shoulders to get his attention, she remembered that he was an eleven year old boy who had just lost his mother. She was firm when she finally spoke, but remained sympathetic considering the circumstances.
"Listen, Carl," Emma spoke with a stern, but soft, tone, "I know that things haven't been easy for you since your mama passed. Your baby sister got taken away and your daddy hasn't been himself. That's probably been really hard for you to deal with."
Carl refused to meet Emma's eyes, and she knew it was because he wanted to cry. His jaw was locked and his lower lip trembled as he tried not to show his tears.
"I know things have gotten pretty relaxed around here," Emma shook Carl once so that he would look up at her, tears shining in his brown eyes, "but that's going to end today. It ended the minute I rode onto this farm. You hear me?"
Silent tears spilled down Carl's cheeks as he nodded.
"Good." Emma sighed and let go of Carl. "Now, let's get you inside. I'll fix you something to eat."
Emma fed Carl as promised, then she sent him up to his room to do as he pleased. The schoolhouse didn't hold class again until the snow melted. Emma intended for Carl to keep up with his lessons despite that fact, but first, she needed to get the house in order. She felt a wave of dejavu wash over her as she rolled her sleeves to the elbow. As she started cleaning up, first in the kitchen, she realized where that feeling had come from. She had been reminded of her first day on the Dixon farm. Emma pushed that memory away as she started her mission to get the Grimes' house clean and proper.
It wasn't until she had nearly finished with the kitchen that Rick was roused from his whiskey induced nap. Emma knew it was him as she heard someone stumbling down the stairs. She looked up from the table she had been scrubbing as she waited for Rick to appear at the bottom of the steps. He finally made his way down the stairs and into view.
"What're..." Rick blinked long and hard for a moment as he stared confusedly into the kitchen at Emma. "What're...you doing...?"
Emma set her scrub brush down and rounded the table.
"What're...you doing...Emma?" Rick slurred as Emma grabbed him roughly by the arm.
Despite his protests, which were lost in all of his stuttering and slurring, Emma easily yanked him outside. Without any hesitation, she marched Rick down the steps and hurled him head first into the snow. Rick flailed in the snow as Emma stood on the last step, hands on her hips, and watched. Rick was finally able to flip over onto his back, his limbs waving all over the place as he tried to get up. All of his physical activity proved to be too much for him in his drunken stupor. Emma was disgusted when Rick turned over onto his side and vomited. As he lay back on the snow groaning and complaining, Emma came down off the steps and into the snow.
"Rick Grimes, you have three days." Emma pointed her finger down at Rick.
"What...?" Rick looked up at Emma with a dumbfounded expression.
"You have three days left of all this." Emma motioned down at Rick with her hand. "Enjoy them, because they're the only ones you're going to get."
As Louis and Theodore came upon the scene, Emma turned on her heel and headed right back into the house as if nothing had occurred to finish up in the kitchen before she would have to make supper.
0o0o0
Emma stayed up late after Louis and Theodore, who asked her over dinner to call them Lou and Teddy, had gone home and Carl had gone to bed. Rick had stumbled back into the house after being tossed out in the snow and headed right back up to the guest bedroom to sleep it off. He hadn't come down for supper and Emma hadn't gone to retrieve him. She was going to let him continue with his foolish behavior until three days time had come and gone. Then and only then would she intervene and force him to change his ways. While the house was still, Emma went to work in the living room. When she was satisfied with the state of the room, she finally laid down on the sofa to sleep. Even though she was tired, the memory of Lori lying on that same couch mere days before she died kept Emma awake for what seemed like hours. Eventually, she was able to drift off to sleep.
After breakfast, which Rick skipped out on, Emma kept Carl at the table.
"What was expected of you during the winter?" Emma asked, hands on her hips.
Carl stared down at his empty plate, his hands on either side of his face.
"My mama gave me lessons most of the time, but sometimes I'd help Lou and Teddy with the animals." Carl muttered.
"Well, then that's what I'm going to expect of you, too." Emma said as she started to clear the table of breakfast dishes. "After breakfast, you'll study from your schoolbooks until lunch. When lunch is over, you'll get back to your studies until I say otherwise."
Carl gave a heavy sigh in reply. Emma turned around to face him, an eyebrow lifted.
"Is that understood, Carl?" Emma asked.
"Yeah." Carl mumbled.
"If Lou and Teddy let me know that they need any help, I'll expect you to get out there and help them whether I come with you or not." Emma returned to the dishes. "If you work hard and study hard, I'll make sure you have free time to do with what you like."
Emma turned back around as Carl lifted his eyes to meet hers.
"Does that sound fair?" Emma asked.
Carl thought it over with a frown and wandering eyes. Finally, he nodded in agreement, though his expression was unchanged.
"All right." Emma gave Carl a soft smile. "It's a deal."
Emma excused Carl to go and study. She heard his bedroom door shut and decided that she would look in on him later to make sure he was studying, but Emma had a feeling Carl wouldn't be a problem. It was Rick she had to worry about.
With breakfast cleaned up, Emma did what little remained with the first level of the house. She tended to the mountain of laundry that she had collected, leaving it to dry on a line she strung up in front of the fireplace. With all of that finished, that left only the upstairs for Emma to clean. Since Carl was in his bedroom studying, Emma decided to start in on the tomb that had once been Rick and Lori's bedroom. She closed the door and locked it behind her in case Rick heard her moving around inside of the bedroom and decided to kick up a fuss. The first thing Emma did was strip the bed. The sheets couldn't be salvaged. The bloodstain had gone too long without being tended to. Emma tossed the sheets aside and found another set in the closet. She made the bed up without the quilt, which she planned on washing and drying when she was finished in the room. From there, Emma cleared the table and wiped it down so that she could fold it up and slide it behind the bureau until it was needed again. After general tidying and dusting, the bedroom was as good as new. Emma took a look around, the quilt in her arms. It was as though a tragedy had never taken place there. It was just an ordinary bedroom. Emma had a feeling Lori would have wanted it that way.
After checking in on Carl, Emma went downstairs to wash the quilt. She hung it up in front of the fire after taking down the laundry that had already dried on the line. She sat on the sofa to fold it. As she was folding, she heard a door upstairs open and shut. Emma thought it would be Rick, but when she heard the soft footsteps on the stairs, she knew it was Carl. She looked up from the laundry as the boy walked timidly down the stairs and into the living room, a book under his arm and a pencil behind his ear. His eyes were on the floor.
"What can I do for you, Carl?" Emma asked, returning to her chore.
"I..." Carl mumbled, but then he paused as he shuffled his feet.
Emma lifted her eyes once more as she waited for Carl to answer her. He scratched the back of his neck, his eyes still on the floor.
"I like hearing...hearing the noise." Carl finally spoke in a full sentence.
"What do you mean?" Emma asked.
Carl slowly looked up at Emma, his face burning with embarrassment.
"It's nice." Carl muttered.
Before Emma could question him further, Carl was suddenly sitting cross legged on the floor. He pulled his book into his lap, opened it up, and started studying. Every now and then, he would scribble something down on a piece of paper that had been tucked inside of the book. Emma watched him for several minutes. At first, she was still puzzled by what Carl had said. As she started up on folding again, Emma was able to put two and two together. She realized that the house must have been quiet since Lori passed, save for Rick's incoherent rambling and staggering steps. Emma could imagine from what little she knew of the Grimes' that their house had probably been a happy home before Lori's death. There had probably been lots of laughter and conversation among the three of them. Rick would have entertaining stories about the antics he had been privy to in town, Carl would tell stories about school or about the fun he had with his friends, and Lori would laugh at their tales and shake her head with a smile. Emma's movement about the house, the simple sounds of a woman cooking and cleaning, was probably comforting for Carl. He wanted to be near it. It made him feel better. So, Emma folded the laundry a little more slowly than she would have had she been alone in the living room. It gave Carl more time to study in her presence as she sat where his mother probably had when she folded the laundry or mended her family's clothing.
0o0o0
It went like that for the next few days. Emma would make breakfast, then while she cleaned up the kitchen, Carl would study at the table. While Emma did work around the house, Carl would sit in the living room with his schoolbooks and papers. Emma would send Carl with lunch out to the barn to Lou and Teddy, or she would come with him to help out with whatever needed doing. Sometime between lunch and supper, Emma would allow Carl to put his books away. He would fool around in the living room with his toys or continue to study by choice until suppertime. By nine, Carl was upstairs in bed. During all of that time, it was rare to see Rick up and around. Emma knew he hadn't seen what Emma had done in the bedroom yet, because he hadn't caused a commotion about it. She would be ready for that fight, if ever there was one.
On Emma's fifth morning at the Grimes' farm, she woke up bright and early as usual. Instead of going downstairs to make breakfast, she got dressed and went downstairs to fetch a basin. She filled the basin with ice cold water from outside at the pump. Emma carried that basin full of cold water up the stairs. She had to set it down in order to open the door to the guest bedroom, but once the door was open, she swept the basin up into her arms again and went right over to Rick's side of the bed. He was still wearing his soiled long underwear, still unshaven and unkempt. Emma lifted the basin up over Rick's sleeping form and dumped the ice cold water down over him. Rick's snoring ceased, and instead, a howl erupted from deep within his gut. He flung himself up and out of the bed in almost one movement.
"What the hell was that for?!" Rick thundered through his heavy breaths.
Emma calmly set the basin down.
"I told you that you had three days, Rick." Emma replied simply.
"What?" Rick asked with a bewildered expression.
Before Emma could answer, Carl appeared in the doorway with wide eyes. Rick noticed his son standing there, but he said nothing to him. He remained still, dripping wet. Carl could barely look at his father. His eyes moved in that direction several times, but each time, they returned to Emma.
"Carl, I want you to take this basin and go fill it up with water." Emma instructed Carl, bringing the basin to the confused boy. "Once it's full, get it boiling. Can you do that?"
Carl made a sound as though he was going to say something, but instead he just nodded. Emma waited until Carl had taken the basin downstairs before she turned back to Rick. His head was hanging, his hair and face dripping water onto the floor.
"Now, take off your long underwear and hand them over." Emma commanded.
Rick lifted his head to give Emma another baffled look.
"What?"
"You heard me." Emma said, opening the bureau to get out a towel. "Take off your long underwear."
"Listen, Emma," Rick spoke sternly as Emma laid the folded towel on the bed and then went to the closet to look for everything Rick would need to wash himself, "I know you were offered a job at one time, but that offer no longer stands."
Emma kept laying things out for Rick, ignoring him as he continued.
"I don't know who you think you are, coming up in this house and acting like you're...like you're..."
"Like I'm what?" Emma asked, spinning to face Rick. "Like I'm Carl's mother? Your wife?"
"Right." Rick snapped, his eyes narrowing in Emma's direction.
"The reason I've been acting like Carl's mother is because you haven't been acting like a father." Emma retorted angrily. "You're right, though. I'm not Carl's mother and I'm not your wife. She's dead."
Rick snarled like a dog on the defensive, his teeth showing as though he were about to use them. He slammed his hands down on the bed and leaned towards Emma, who stood on the opposite side of the bed with her arms folded across her chest. Emma could see that Rick's entire body was trembling, and she knew it was because he was thumping mad, but then, there was a sudden change. A twitch came over Rick's face, starting with his left eye and working it's way down to his cheek, and then his mouth. He put away his teeth, but his lips remained pulled into a scowl. Slowly, the scowl began to weaken. In fact, Rick's entire fearsome expression was cracking. His eyes softened. His bottom lip quivered. It all happened so suddenly, and then Rick was dissolving into tears. Emma watched in silence as Rick sobbed openly in front of her, his body slowly hunching over until Emma could no longer see his face. His breaths came in gasps as he cried out. As Emma looked on, she wondered if it was the first time Rick had cried since Lori passed away.
When Rick's cries quieted, when his shoulders trembled silently, Emma finally spoke.
"I know what it's like to lose someone that you care for." Emma spoke as softly as she could manage, though truthfully, she had very little patience for the sheriff. "You are allowed to grieve, but you aren't the parent that died, Rick."
Rick sniffed.
"Carl needs you to be his daddy." Emma continued. "He needs you now more than he's ever needed anybody before. Judith needs you. This town needs you."
Rick had become very still. His body no longer shook. He no longer sniffed.
"I'm going to go and get that hot water for you." Emma went to the door. "When I come back, you're going to give me that long underwear. Then, you're going to take a bath and get dressed. When you're finished, I'll help you with the rest."
Emma went downstairs and got the basin of hot water from Carl. She left him long enough to deliver the water to Rick. His long underwear was waiting outside the bedroom door for her. Carl was still in the kitchen when Emma came back downstairs.
"I'll make you breakfast and then you can go out and see if Lou and Teddy need your help." Emma told Carl as she tossed Rick's underwear aside for the time being.
"What about my studies?" Carl asked quietly.
"You can take the day off." Emma replied, looking back over her shoulder at him with a smile.
Carl didn't return her smile.
"What about my dad?"
Emma turned back around to get started on breakfast.
"You let me worry about that."
0o0o0
Rick sat in a chair in the kitchen as Emma draped a sheet around his shoulders. Since he had come down from the guest bedroom, completely dressed and smelling more like a man and less like an animal, he hadn't spoken to Emma. However, he did as he was told. It was easy for Emma to manipulate Rick's head as she gave his hair a good trim. His curls, darker from having just bathed, fell around his chair like a halo. The curls that ended up on the sheet were dusted off by Emma once his hair was shorter and more to her liking.
"Where's Carl?" Rick finally broke the silence as Emma tugged a comb through his hair.
"Out helping Lou and Teddy." Emma murmured, parting Rick's hair with the comb.
Once his hair was nicely combed, Emma worked the shaving cream into a lather with a fluffy, round brush. As she took a step towards Rick to apply the cream to his face, she saw a silent tear streaming down his cheek. Before she could say anything, Rick had suddenly thrown his arms around Emma's waist. She was so surprised that she dropped the brush. As Rick held her around the waist, he leaned his head against her. Emma didn't know how to react. She simply stood and allowed Rick to seek comfort from her until he had gotten ahold of himself. Rick closed his eyes as more tears rolled down his already damp cheeks. He had forgotten how a woman, how his wife, felt. He relished in how his head felt nestled against Emma's soft, warm breast. As he inhaled the subtle floral scent rolling off of her body, his eyes still shut, it was as if his wife were alive and well with him once again. Even though Rick knew it was Emma, not Lori, her presence silenced his tears and soothed him. When he felt better, he opened his eyes and released Emma.
Not another word was spoken between them as Emma picked up the brush and lathered it up once again.
0o0o0
Emma was out on the front porch beating rugs when Deputy Walsh rode onto the property and right up to the house. Rick was inside eating breakfast. Carl was still out helping Lou and Teddy in the barn. Emma tucked a loose curl behind her ear as Shane came to a stop at the base of the steps. She left the rug she had been beating to meet Shane as he dismounted.
"The reverend said you'd be here." Shane said as he stood at the base of the stairs.
"Did he?" Emma asked, dusting her hands off on the front of her skirt.
"Sure did." Shane replied, hands on his hips. "I came to see how things were going-"
"Emma!" Rick suddenly bellowed from inside the house.
Emma knew what Rick was shouting about before he even stampeded down the stairs and burst through the door as though the house was up in flames. She calmly turned towards Rick as he stood before her wild eyed and breathing heavily. The clean sheets Emma had put on Mr. and Mrs. Grimes' bed were bundled up in Rick's arms.
"What gave you the right?" Rick asked, his voice quavering as he held out the sheets to Emma.
"Rick-"
"What gave you the right?" Rick repeated himself loudly, interrupting Shane as he attempted to diffuse the situation.
As Shane slowly climbed the first step, Emma held her hand out to him.
"I asked you a question." Rick took a step towards Emma.
"Yes." Emma acknowledged Rick with a nod.
"What gave you the right?!" Rick shouted, hurling the clean sheets at Emma.
In an instant, Emma had reached out with an open hand and smacked Rick across the face. Shane was visibly taken aback, in fact, so was Rick. Before either man could speak, Emma grabbed Rick by the ear and yanked him forward. He yelped like a kicked dog.
"Rick Grimes, don't you ever holler at me like that again." Emma murmured, Rick's face close to hers as she spoke. "You got it?"
Rick nodded quickly, so Emma let go of his ear. He rubbed it furiously, his eyes on the porch.
"You know exactly why I threw out the sheets that were on your bed." Emma folded her arms over her chest as Rick continued to glare at the floor. "Keeping the sheets your wife died on isn't going to bring her back. She's dead and nothing's going to change that-"
"Emma, please." Shane suddenly piped up.
Emma turned her head to look at Shane.
"This doesn't concern you." Emma told him as-a-matter-of-factly before turning back to Rick. "Now, take these sheets upstairs to your bedroom and put them back on the bed, or so help me, you'll be sleeping in the barn with the animals until you get your head screwed on straight."
Rick ground his teeth as he silently sulked after having been put in his place. Eventually, he bent down and picked up the sheets. While he grumbled under his breath, he took the sheets into the house to do as Emma said. When he was gone, Emma turned her attention to Shane.
"Everything is under control." Emma told him, referring to their conversation before Rick had interrupted them.
"You call that under control?" Shane scoffed, motioning to the front door.
Emma put one hand on her hip.
"I got him to bathe, groom, and eat." Emma leaned in towards Shane. "What have you got to show on your part?"
Emma turned back to the rug she had been beating as Shane ascended the remaining steps and joined her on the porch, a finger pointed in her direction.
"Listen here, Emma," Shane spoke angrily, "you got a lot of nerve talking to me that way. I've been Rick's closest friend for years. You don't know nothing about him or his family. If you did, you wouldn't be treating him this way. You'd be feeling for the guy."
Emma laughed dryly.
"Feeling for him?" Emma asked. "How is feeling for Rick going to help him? Has feeling for him helped him thus far?"
"The man just lost his wife." Shane waved an arm towards the door. "He's grieving. He's going through the same thing..."
Emma turned around. Shane was looking down at the porch.
"The same thing you went through?" Emma asked.
Shane rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes still cast down.
"Yeah."
"Then you should know better than anyone that getting drunk and acting like a fool isn't going to help Rick get through this." Emma sighed as she put her hands on her hips. "I don't have the time or the patience for these games. Lori gave me a job to do and I'm going to do it whether you approve or not."
Shane watched as Emma returned to the rug as though he weren't even there. He wanted to stay angry with Emma for being so callous in the wake of his best friend's worst nightmare, but he couldn't. Deep down, he knew she was right. Rick had his children to think of, if not himself. He couldn't afford to act like a drunken idiot the way Shane had after his wife had passed away. Even though it was hard to see how much pain Rick went through as Emma refused to hold his hand and coddle him, he knew it was for the best in the long run.
So, Shane mounted his horse and left Emma to do the job Lori had tasked her with.
0o0o0
That evening, Emma gathered up her things to move into the guest bedroom since Rick had returned to his own room. She carried her things upstairs, but as she passed Rick's bedroom, she saw a light under the door. Emma set her things down and quietly knocked on the door so as not to wake Carl. She heard rustling on the other side of the door.
"Come in." Rick's voice was weak and feeble sounding.
Emma opened the door to see Rick laying in bed, a candle burning at his bedside. Trails of tears glistened on his face in the candlelight.
"What is it, Rick?" Emma asked softly, going to his side.
Rick sniffed hard.
"Lori..." Rick mumbled through his silent tears.
Emma thought of the progress Rick had made that day. Yes, he had had an outburst out on the front porch, but he had done as Emma said and made the bed using the clean sheets. Then, he had gone out to the barn to help out until suppertime. At the table, he was calm and quiet. Emma decided to give him a break and sat down on the edge of the bed to try and get him to sleep.
"You need to rest." Emma told Rick as she gently rubbed his arm.
Just like before when she had shaved Rick, he was suddenly grabbing onto her. Rick sat up and threw his arms around Emma. She sighed as he buried his face into her, his tears soaking through her blouse.
"Rick, you can't do this."
"Please." Rick's voice was nearly lost in the fabric of Emma's blouse.
"Rick-"
"Just let me stay like this for a while." Rick interrupted Emma as he turned his face to the side, his head leaned against her chest.
Rick held Emma close and pretended she was Lori. He pressed his ear to her breast and listened to her deep breaths, to her steady heartbeat. Lori was alive. She was comforting Rick after a hard day on the job.
"No, Rick." Emma broke through Rick's dream as she shoved him away.
Rick fell back as Emma stood up from the bed.
"You have to get through this without using me...like that." Emma told Rick as he stared up at her with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry."
Rick squeezed his eyes shut. Tears fell down his face in waves.
"Goodnight." Emma murmured, turning to go to the door.
As Emma reached for the doorknob, a sob escaped Rick's lips. She thought of Lori, and as the woman's face flitted through her mind, she hesitated. She remembered what Shane had said before, about how she should be feeling for Rick given the recent tragedy in his life. For the first time since her arrival, Emma felt a smidgen of pity for Rick. As she considered going to Rick's side to comfort him, to stay with him until he fell asleep, she heard a different noise come from behind her. Emma turned to look back at the sheriff as another soft snore broke through the silence. The pity she felt dissipated. She thought of her reply to Shane out on the porch, and seeing Rick asleep in the bed he had once shared with Lori was proof that she was right. Rick didn't need to be coddled. He needed to be challenged and pushed. That was the only way he was going to come around.
Emma silently moved to Rick's side to blow out the lantern beside him. His snores continued in the darkness even when Emma returned to the door and shut it behind her.
"Get Me Through December" - Alison Krauss [Emma arrives at the Grimes' farm, works on the farm]