LEGENDS IN A NEW WORLD: Chapter 8
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon :(
"Urg, wh-where I'm I?" Groudon muttered to himself, while trying to get up and off the ground.
Groudon picked himself up and off the ground, but was clutching his head, due to him getting up to fast. He also noticed he was in a drain ditch only a kilometre or two away from the house.
"Those psychotic bitches!" he swore to himself. Judging by the sun and the freshness of the air, it was morning time. There were no serious injuries, besides kick marks and claw marks.
But what they did to him, will scar him forever…
"Well, better move my sorry ass back home"
At the house, everyone was having breakfast, Mew was scavenging through one of the cereal boxes to find the toy hidden at the bottom. Giratina, like at the doctors clinic, was reading the newspaper. Kyogre was talking with Reshiram, who was still feeling the effects of her surgery.
"So? What did I miss last night?" Reshiram asked the former Sea basin Pokémon.
"THE BEST NIGHT EVER! Right so, Groudon set a pool on fire, and was beat up a group of women and taken captive for the night! I got it all on film!" Kyogre squealed, with the pleasure that Groudon got beat the fuck up. She got out the phone and showed Reshiram the film.
"Wow, oh my god, that is hysterical! Where is he now?"
"I dunno. Probably in some Ditch"
(Ding Dong) (Ding Dong)
"Darkrai can you go get the front door?" Arceus asked him, seeming he was the closest to the front door.
"Um, let me think? NO! Remember last time I opened the front door" Darkrai complained.
(Flash Back: four days ago)
"Hello doggy". And just as that the Dog opened its mouth and bit Darkrai's hand as hard as possible.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" was the high pitch scream that Darkrai let loose, trying to free his hand from the dog's mouth.
(Flash back over)
"I'll get it then!" Zekrom volunteered for the scared former Nightmare Pokémon.
Zekrom opened up the front door to find something he was not expecting; Groudon in one piece.
"Groudon?"
"Sup" was all he said.
All the legends had turned away from their food and went straight to Groudon. Assessing his body, his clothing was all torn up, he was covered in dirt, he had claw marks on his face that had just missed his left eye, and bruise marks all down his arms, his knees were cut up as well.
"Oh, uh Groudon, How uhh, are you?" Arceus asked nervously.
"I'm fine" he said as he walked inside and started to eat some of the food on the breakfast table.
"Your fine? That's it? We heard you screaming all night!" Celebi shouted.
"Yeah, we may not get along Groudon! But haven't you looked in a mirror at all?"
Groudon just started to chuckle, "Oh, you silly girl Kyogre… After years of all the fighting with you and then getting beat up by Rayquaza, these physical injuries are nothing…"
Everyone just lifted their eyebrows confused on what the hell he was on about.
"Well then I'll tell you what happened last night…
(Flash Back: 10 hours ago, 10PM)
"RAYQUAZA! HEL-HELP! ZEKROM YOU BASTARD!" Groudon pleaded yet also cursing at the same time. "SOMEONE HELP! I DON'T WANT TO DIE".
"Aria, me and my friends are going to deal with your buddy over there and if you do-"Karen started only to be cut off by Arceus.
"Torture all night long and teach him a lesson".
"WHAT!? NO PLEASE!" Groudon cried.
Arceus called out to the others, "Come on, let's go home."
"NO PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! I'LL DO ANYT-"Groudon continued to cry until he was kicked in the place a male never wants to be kicked at.
"Urg, ow…" he moaned, as he felt his body be dragged away to the nearby garden shed in the backyard of Karen's home. They tied him up to a chair in the shed.
"Well girls, what shall we do to this trouble maker?" Karen spoke up.
"Let's beat him up more!" one shouted
"Let's publically embarrass him!" another one shouted
"Let's rape him!"
The group of women all stared at the one that called Rape.
"What? It was just an Idea!"
Karen finally spoke up, "I have an idea… a 10 hour long session of watching chick flicks and listening to my teen daughters' playlist of Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber and one Direction!"
Groudons eyes shot open when hearing this.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he just screamed.
(Flash back over)
"And that is how I lost all my dignity! I then woke up in a ditch!"
"Called it" Kyogre whispered to Reshiram.
All the other legends where dumbfounded, however Kyogre recorded the entire story to listen again later on.
"Well, both you and Reshiram need new clothing, seeming we actually only have one set of clothes. And we are running low on essentials" Arceus said at loud.
"POKE SPECTRE!"
"WHAT?"
"We need money to go buy food, clothes etc." Arceus asked the ass of an author.
"WELL, I COULD GET NOHAIL TO DO IT FOR YOU SO THAT WA-"
"No. No Nohail this time! We need to do this ourselves, to get use to this life!" Arceus argued her point.
"WELL, URG, YOU HAVE A POINT… FINE, THERE IS A NEARBY SHOPPING CENTRE. I'LL GIVE YOU EACH $500 TO SPEND. BUT IF YOU SPEND OVER, I'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL!"
"Unfortunately you're already doing a good job at it…" Deoxys muttered.
"HEARD THAT"
Latias pushed her way to the front of the crowd of former legends, bowling over Deoxys and Darkrai, with Arceus just moving out of the way. She had stars in her eyes,
"So what you're saying is that we get to go on a shopping spree!" an excited Latias cried! She was yet to notice the grim face on Rayquaza that suddenly appeared when the words 'shopping spree' were said.
"UH, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO CALL IT, THEN YES, A SHOPPING SPREE"
Latias looked like she was going to burst with joy. A few of the other female legends started to like the idea of a shopping based day. The males however, looked terrified.
Within the blink of an eye, a yellow plastic card appeared in front of each of the legends!
"RIGHT SO YOUR PINS WORK LIKE THIS, 0 AND THE YOUR RETROSPECTIVE POKEDEX NUMBER. SO FOR EXAMPLE, MEWS WOULD 0151. GOT IT? GOOD, YOU ALL HAVE $500 ON THE CARD! HAVE FUN"
"Wait, wait, wait? Where are you going?" Giratina asked the author that was just about to leave.
"WELL, I'M GOING TO ASSUME I DON'T NEED TO BABYSIT YOU ALL DOING A SHOPPING SPREE. I'LL POP IN HERE AND THERE. I HAVE TO GO WATCH THE SEASON FINALE OF FOREVER!"
"I hate that guy" nearly all of the legends said, except for Latias, who was now daydreaming about the shopping spree and Mew, who was back to scavenging through the cereal box for the toy.
(Time skip: 3 hours, 11: AM)
The group was now out front of a large building that had a sign saying, Welcome to Albany shopping centre!
"Ok, first off, we all need to get some new clothing! Buy at least two sets of clothes" Arceus told the others. The message was primarily aimed at the boys.
There were groans from all the boys minus Rayquaza, who was trying to not annoy Latias.
"Aw, stop complaining and get over yourselves! Come on let's go!"
The first shop they went to was 'farmers', a home appliance, clothing and to Mew's joy, a toy section.
Latias ran off ahead to the girl clothing section, with Rayquaza right behind her. It was going to be a hell of a day for him.
"OMG! So many dresses! The shoes too!" Latias shouted with joy.
At this point, Rayquaza face had gone pale. But he had to suck it up and be a man!
"I'll say here and give you positive feedback until your done dear. Then I'll get my stuff".
Latias looked like she was going to cry, "Really Rayie?"
Latias jumped and gave Rayquaza a big hug and a short kiss on the lips and whispered something in his ear. "I'll make it up to you later…" she said in a seducing tone before giving him a quick wink. This left Rayquaza stunned. She grabbed some clothes and rushed into the changing rooms, leaving the stunned Rayquaza to wobble into a chair.
The other female legends had finally caught up, and the saw the state Ray was in.
"What the hell happened to him?" Celebi questioned.
"Beats me and I don't care" Arceus said before grabbing some things to try on.
The Male legends clothes trying philosophy was fairly simple:
Step 1) Find your size.
Step 2) don't try it on. Just buy it.
Within 10 minutes, all the boys had finished buying new clothes. They then all headed over to the girls' clothing area. A pink blur ran straight into Darkrai, knocking him over.
"Ugg, Mew? What are you doing?"
"Forget clothes shopping. First thing I found, I bought. Dunno if it fits or not. Just heading to the toy area!" Mew said before rushing off again.
"Well, I thought our way of shopping was simple. But Mew just beat us by a long shot."
The 5 boys had finally made their way to the female clothing section, to see that they were all looking around at the stands.
"Wow, there still looking." Groudon muttered, whom was in his new clothes: a Red unbuttoned shirt with a grey tee underneath, Grey skinny jeans and red van shoes.
Deoxys made his way over to Rayquaza, who had recovered from his 'paralysation'.
"You look like you're having 'fun'" Deoxys said saying fun with a heavy tone of sarcasm.
"I've been in worst situations" Rayquaza replied back.
"Name 3" the former DNA Pokémon countered.
Rayquaza looked blank as a brand new piece of paper.
"Ok, you win. Besides, I think I've earned myself a few brownie points" Rayquaza said with dirty smile.
Deoxys just snorted and walked off towards Groudon, Zekrom, Darkrai and Giratina, who were all standing by the exit of the building.
"Well, I'm starving. Keen for the food court anyone?" Groudon announced to the boys (Minus Ray).
They all turned around to go and get something to eat until,
"Hey! George! Can you come here quickly?" Arceus shouted out using Giratinas' alias name.
Giratina was not going to let this opportunity go by.
"Coming Aria!"
"Traitor!" Groudon shouted cupping his hands around his mouth to echo the message across the store.
"So, are they officially yet?" Darkrai asked.
"Love. It's the world's most dangerous weapon. It can be beautiful and blossom like a rose and Next thing you know…" Deoxys hesitated and just Snorted before continuing his sentence,
"…It will rip your heart out…" Deoxys said in a menacing tone, before walking off, leaving Zekrom surprised by the word choice, Groudon trying to understand what he meant and Darkrai was trembling in fear. "Some people just draw the short straw."
Meanwhile with Mew…
TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS!
Back with the girls…
Latias had just finished trying on her 5th set of clothes: a red high-low dress, with grey stockings and black leather boots. On her head, she was wearing a pair of sun glasses and a red sunhat.
"What you think Rayie" she said whilst doing a little twirl around.
"You just as beautiful as before dear!" Rayquaza said give back his positive feedback. "What set do you think you'll get?"
"Well, what I'm wearing right now, the bikini maybe? And the sleep clothes!" she said as she went to go and take off the clothes and change back into her original outfit, so she could go and pay.
The total price for Latias clothing was $350. Rayquaza was absolutely stunned by the price. Then it hit him.
He now had to go shopping for clothes.
With Latias, who would want him to take it serious.
Shit.
Zekrom, Groudon, Darkrai and Deoxys were now all at the food court, eating fatty foods.
Of course it was better than what they could make at the Hall of origin and the only Pokémon there that could actually cook were Latias and Arceus!
"(Munch) (Munch) Oh my god! This is so goooood!" spat Groudon, who was chowing down on McDonalds signature burger; the big mac.
Both Deoxys and Darkrai got Mexican. Deoxys got only a mild Burrito, whilst Darkrai got a burrito with extra beans, curious what it would taste like.
He will regret it later…
Zekrom however, ordered Sushi, but wasn't really focused on eating. Since they have been human, him and Reshiram have had barely any time together!
Should they risk it?
"Yo, Zek. (Munch) You going to eat that?" Groudon asked, who was eying down the sushi, whilst still eating his burger.
"Hm? Na have it…" Zekrom said, pushing the sushi packet towards Groudon.
Deoxys was bored.
Clothes shopping and eating for the next 3 hours…
… At he wasn't Rayquaza right now.
Then an idea popped into his mind to 'spice things up' a little…
Literally.
"Hey Groudon! You should cover the sushi with this stuff!" Deoxys said, reference to a packet that came with the sushi that read; wasabi.
Groudon shrugged his shoulders, and completely covered a piece of sushi with the green substance.
"Bottoms up!"
Deoxys had an evil smirk across his face and quickly whispered something to Zekrom,
"Psst, Zekrom, watch this…"
"HOLY SHIT, THAT'S FUCKING HOT. ARCEUS CHRIST. GAH!? HOW COULD SOMETHING BE SO FUCKING HOT!?" Groudon shouted, alerting the entire food court, causing some parents to cover their kid's ears. "WATER!? I NEED WATER!?"
"(snicker) But? Isn't water your opposite?" Deoxys smirked.
"FUCK OPPOSITES!"
Only three tables away to the right, was a kid that looked around 8 who was with his family. He was holding a bottle of water in his left hand. Once Groudon saw this, he dashed over to the table, knocking Darkrai out of his seat and whacking his head, as he was the closes to him. He snatched the water bottle, making the kid cry. Groudon drank half of the water and splashed the rest on his face.
It wasn't cooling him down…
"IT'S NOT FUCKING WORKING!"
"Find some milk dumbass!" Zekrom shouted, joining in on Deoxys prank on Groudon.
Meanwhile with Mew who was at the candy store…
CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY!CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY! CANDY!
Giratina was watching Latias drag Rayquaza to the male section.
He was pretty sure Ray was mouthing the words, 'help me'.
"Screw Ray, Arceus is more important… should I make my move? No it's too early in the challenge! GAH! Why I'm I attracted to her…" Giratina thought to himself.
He also thought about what Deoxys said… Some people draw the short straw…
"Pfft, what does he know!"
"So how do I look George?" Arceus said walking out of the changing room
She was wearing a strapless white and black dress that only realized a bit of cleavage. She had applied a little bit of make up; eye liner, lip gloss, mascara etc.
Giratina was practically drooling. Of course he didn't show it on the outside…
"So, Giratina? How do I look?" Arceus said starting to get impatient.
"Wut? Uh, you look beautiful, I MEAN, you look uh, beautiful in that dress!" Giratina said, scratching his head sheepishly
Arceus started to blush at his comments.
"Come on let's go!" Arceus said, trying to now change the subject.
"DEOXYS YOU ASSHOLE! YOU KNEW THIS WOULD FUCKIN HAPPEN!" Groudon shouted whilst running around to look for something to cool him down.
Darkrai was now on Deoxys and Zekroms side of the table, so that way there was very little chance he would get hurt. The three noticed that some policeman were with the security, pointing over into their direction.
"Shit…" Zekrom muttered.
The two policeman were now walking to Groudon way.
"Excuse me sir, but you're going to have to come with us!" one of the cops said
"WHY!? I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS, LIKE COOLING DOWN MY FUCKING MOUTH!? JESUS CHRIST, IT BURNS!" Groudon roared at the cops.
"Sir, we are going to ask you nicely once more, come with us" the second cop said, who placed his hand on Groudon shoulder.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!?" Groudon shouted, pushing the policeman away, as he fell on to a nearby table.
"Oh shit…" Darkrai squeaked behind Zekrom and Deoxys.
Groudon then felt it.
A jolt electricity ran up his spine, rendering him to the ground. The other officer had got out his tazer and tazered him.
"Sir, you're under arrest for assaulting a police officer and an over abusive amount of foul language in a public area!" the officer said whilst handcuffing Groudon.
'Psst, these last few days sure haven't been in Groudons favour…' Darkrai whispered to the others.
As Groudon was dragged away to the police station, he dropped his credit card. Deoxys went up and grabbed it and smiled, flashing the card to the other two.
"Use the rest of Groudons money and a few of ours and go buy what humans call an Xbox one?" Deoxys said with a sadistic smile.
Rayquaza was tired. He had already tried on 15 jeans, 12 shirts and 11 jackets. Latias was now trying to find the best 'set'. Oh, and she has been doing that for the last hour and a half!
"Oh my god… Latias how much longer?" Rayquaza whined to his girlfriend.
"Quiet Rayie, this takes precision to do. If the colours don't match or the theme of the clothing don't match, you could be fined by the fashion police!" Latias countered.
Rayquaza just sighed and gave up.
"Finished!"
Maybe a little bit of hope was on Rayquaza side for once.
Latias had some black leather dinner shoes, Black trousers, a black shirt with a dark emerald dinner vest and finally a dark emerald fedora.
"Was the fedora really needed?" Rayquaza questioned
"Of course! Come on we need to catch up with the others!"
Rayquaza just sighed. All he could be bothered doing was sleeping right now.
Rayquaza and Latias saw all the other girls plus Giratina outside where they started the day. Latias went to go join in with all the clothes shopping talk. Mew was eating candy and playing with her new toy. Rayquaza decided to go sit down next to Giratina.
"So you got dragged around all day?" Giratina asked the former sky high Pokémon.
"I earned a few Brownie points. Can I asked you something Giratina?" Ray responded
Giratina just nodded his head.
"Are you and Arceus officially yet?" Ray asked causing Giratina face to change into a bright red.
"Don't worry I won't tell anyone. Besides, who would you rather have? Me or someone like Groudon or Deoxys knowing"
Right on que was Deoxys, with Zekrom and Darkrai. Each carrying a box… wait?
Deoxys. Check!
Zekrom. Check.
Darkrai. Check.
Groudon?
"Where the Hell is Groudon?" Rayquaza asked the approaching Former DNA Pokémon.
"Oh, you know. He just got arrested and all" Deoxys told them in a tone, which sounded like he didn't give a fuck.
"HE WHAT!?" both Arceus and Rayquaza screamed, giving most of the other legends a fright.
Deoxys explained the story to others about how loud Groudon was and how he pushed a police officer. But of course, he left out the part where it was him that convinced to eat the wasabi.
"That fucking moron… ARG! I can't believe him…" Rayquaza moaned. "Someone is going to have to bail him out!"
"I can. Good guy Giratina to the rescue!" Giratina offered. Rayquaza knew exactly what he was doing. Trying to be goodie two shoes and get Arceus admiration. And it was working.
"AUTHOR!" Rayquaza shouted out to the sky.
"YO"
"What are we doing next? We need to know so, we can bail out Groudon in time!"
"WELL FIRST OFF SPOILERS, SOOOO. NO. BUT THE EVENT IS AT HOME!"
Rayquaza just sighed.
"Good enough!"
"Well, I'll see you all at home. Ima head off to the station and get that moron out!" Giratina said to the others, keeping eye contact on Arceus only.
(TimeSkip! 7 hours: 8: PM)
"Oh, woe is me. Oh woe is me!" Groudon shouted to by the time. All he has in this cell is a bed and a toilet.
A police office walked up to his cell and started to unlock it. Groudon was confused at this point, But then again. It didn't take much to confuse him.
"Well, you refused to tell us your name before. But we have identified you, Slade Ruby!
"My name is Slade? I mean, - What is to yah?"
Someone just bailed you out, but before we can let you out. He wants talk to you…" the cop said moving out of the way from none other than Giratina. Groudons face went pale. Well, at least it wasn't Rayquaza.
"Hello Slade, You been a bit naughty?" Giratina said menacingly
Groudon looked up to him. "Why would you want to know?"
"Well, I just did Bail you on Arceus and Rayquaza orders. So you have some options… Option number 1) I bail you out and you're my Bitch until I say otherwise or Option number 2) I cancel the Bail and you get charged for assault on a policeman and leave you to rot in prison? So take your pick…" Giratina said showing his side on why he was banished to the world he now calls home.
"Option 1, I guess… I can't that bad now can it?" Groudon said nervously.
"Wise choice" was all Giratina said, before gesturing to follow him home.
Authors note: Wow a quick update appeared? Such a rare occurrence! I can just see Latias being that one, that would just go one a shopping spree for clothes and make up etc. And now Groudon is Giratina's Bitch? What did Deoxys mean with short straw? What will happen now? well anything, cuz I'm the author and all... Sooooo Review and PM for Ideas! Poke_Spectre out!
Darkrai's injury of the day!
Getting pushed off his seat and whacking his head!