Chapter 24 - She Once Was...
"It isn't much further." Emma turned her head and announced to Carl, Todd, and Sophia.
Emma looked down at the note in her hand. It had been waiting for her in the loft three days after she finally spoke her mind to Daryl in the barn. The note was from Daryl, letting Emma know that he knew where the guns were and was still up for helping her with her plan to teach the kids to shoot. He told her that the following afternoon, which was that day, he was going to tell Rick that he was going hunting. Daryl said he would leave two rifles at one of his tree stands, then drew a small map for Emma to follow.
"Where are we going?" Sophia half whined from the back.
Emma didn't even bother to reply. She had told Sophia once before that she would explain what they were doing once they got to where they were going. It had taken a lot of convincing to get Carol and Mary, Todd's mother, to agree to let their kids join Emma in the woods a couple days a week. Rick hadn't required any convincing. He agreed with Emma that it would benefit the kids to get them off of the farm they had been cooped up on for months. Emma had plenty of excuses lined up for Carol and Mary. The kids would be helping her. With what, they had asked. All sorts of things, Emma had told them - collecting firewood, fixing tree stands, assisting Daryl while he was hunting, etc. Emma promised the worried mothers that it would only be two or three days a week, that she would only take them after lessons, and that she would have them home long before it got dark out. After Emma got some help from Rick, Carol and Mary finally agreed to let Emma take their kids out with Carl.
Emma immediately saw two rifles leaned against the tree in which Daryl had a stand.
"Kids," Emma turned around and folded the note, "there are some things I want to talk to you about."
"Is this another lesson?" Carl groaned, his hand on his hip.
"Well, sort of." Emma laughed.
Carl and Todd began moaning and complaining in sync. Emma held her hand up.
"Now, I'm not going to mince words with you." Emma lowered her hand. "You kids are old enough that I should be able to be honest with you. When I was your age..."
Emma shook her head and shoved the note into her pocket.
"This world has become a very dangerous place for us to be in over the past year. I know that for right now, you kids have this farm and all of us to look out for you." Emma crossed her arms over her chest. "That might not always be the case. Things happen. People die..."
Emma watched Carl's face carefully. She didn't want to upset him, but he didn't seem to be. In fact, Carl was listening to Emma very intently. It was Sophia that looked upset.
"I think it's important that you kids learn how to defend yourselves, but the problem is that none of the other adults seem to agree." Emma stepped aside so that the kids could see the guns. "Which is why I'm going to start teaching you three how to shoot in the event that you're forced to rely on yourself for protection."
"Really?" Carl asked.
"Really," Emma nodded, but then held up one finger, "but there is a catch."
"What?" Todd asked, lifting an eyebrow.
"You have to promise to keep these lessons a secret."
"We have to lie to our parents?" Sophia asked warily, shifting her weight from side to side.
"Come on, Sophia." Carl spoke before Emma could. "This is the best thing for us."
"Plus, it's pretty cool." Todd joined in, elbowing Sophia gently.
"I don't know..." Sophia mumbled. "I don't think my mom would like this-"
"You know what my mom wouldn't like?" Carl asked, a frown coming to his face. "Me dying because I didn't know how to take care of myself."
Sophia hung her head.
"Carl." Emma took a step towards the kids.
"What?" Carl asked. "It's the truth."
"I know, but..."
Emma went to Sophia and kneeled down in front of her. She remembered the way she had spoken to Carl when she first encountered him by his mother's grave. She was patient, but firm. Emma reached for Sophia's limp hands.
"Sophia, I know you're close with your mom." Emma murmured. "I promise that I'm showing all of this to you kids because...I care about all of you, too."
Sophia slowly lifted her head.
"I don't want to see any of you get hurt, or worse, all because you weren't taught how to take care of yourselves."
Carl and Todd surrounded their friend on either side. Carl put his hand on her shoulder.
"Emma just wants what's best for us." Carl gave Sophia's shoulder a squeeze. "Trust me."
Sophia looked over at Carl, then at Todd, then back at Emma. Finally, she nodded.
"Okay." Sophia agreed.
"Okay." Emma said, letting go of Sophia's hands.
Emma spent the next hour just showing the kids the different parts of the rifle. She showed them how to hold the rifles correctly, then how to use the sight while holding it. Sophia was still very wary of the whole process, even though she had agreed to learn and to keep the lessons secret. She didn't want to hold the rifle, and the one time she did, she barely held onto it as Emma showed her how to tuck it in against her shoulder. After that, Emma gave up on Sophia for the day. She figured she had already pushed the young girl to her limit that afternoon. Emma hoped they could accomplish more next lesson. When the lesson was through, Emma left the guns where she found them, per Daryl's instructions.
Carl and Todd chattered excitedly the whole way back to the farm. Sophia trailed behind them, looking glum and miserable. Emma hadn't anticipated Sophia being so unwilling to learn. She figured if Carl and Todd were interested, Sophia would be, too. Emma wondered what Carol would think when they returned to the farm with Sophia in low spirits. Then, Carl made everything better by suddenly tagging Sophia and running off with Todd in the direction of the farm. Sophia suddenly smiled and chased after them, determined to tag one of them before they got back.
0o0o0
"How was the first lesson?"
Emma looked up from the skirt she was mending to see Daryl standing below her.
"Come up and I'll tell you." Emma replied, motioning with her head for Daryl to join her.
Daryl disappeared as he entered the barn. Emma could hear him climbing the ladder into the loft, then his footsteps approaching as he got closer to where she sat dangling her legs off the side of the barn. It was getting cooler outside. The days of Emma throwing open the hay door were dwindling. She had only discovered the door since moving back into the loft. She wondered how she had never noticed it before.
"So?" Daryl asked, settling down beside Emma.
Emma sighed.
"Well, the boys are excited."
"The girl ain't?" Daryl asked.
"No." Emma shook her head. "She doesn't want to learn. I don't know if it's because she's uncomfortable with lying to her mom, or if it's because she's scared of the guns..."
Daryl grunted.
"I guess I just didn't anticipate having to deal with anything like that."
"What do you expect?" Daryl scoffed.
"What do you mean?" Emma asked, turning her head to give Daryl a confused look.
"Most girls aren't like you." Daryl replied, meeting Emma's eyes. "In fact, I don't know any girls like you. Not a one."
Daryl and Emma looked into each other's eyes. Emma thought Daryl might say something about what she had to say to him four days ago, but then he looked away from her.
"Well, I gotta get back to...what I was doing before." Daryl said suddenly, standing up.
Emma closed her eyes and shook her head.
"Okay." Emma murmured with a shrug.
"Just...let me know the next time you want to take them kids out." Daryl told Emma as he walked away from her. "I'll leave the rifles in the same place."
"Sounds good." Emma replied simply, without turning around.
Emma heard Daryl climb down, then saw him leaving the barn quickly. He nearly tripped on his way back to his house. Emma watched him disappear inside. She knew it wasn't easy for Daryl to share his feelings, especially with her, because it wasn't easy for her. They were so much alike, but regardless, Emma had worked up the courage and confidence to finally share her feelings with Daryl. She wished he could do the same. Even if it wasn't what she wanted to hear, she needed to know how he felt. Emma couldn't move on with her life unless she knew what lurked in Daryl's heart. Did he want her the way she wanted him? Did he want nothing to do with her? Did he only want to be friends? Emma could learn to live with any of those outcomes, but she couldn't learn what wasn't taught to her.
Emma was about to return to mending her skirt when her name was called from below. Andrea, Kate, and Trish were all standing beneath Emma.
"We're going to sit at Sam's, just us girls." Andrea told Emma, her hands cupped around her mouth. "Do you want to come?"
Emma could think of several other things she would rather do with her time. She could continue sewing up her skirt, she could find another chore to do, she could help Luanne with supper... What could the girls accomplish sitting around at Sam's? Emma knew they did that from time to time. They would go inside giggling and come out giggling. This was just the first time they had asked Emma to join them. She was about to tell them no, but then she remembered what Rick said to her the night of the meeting. Emma sighed. She couldn't believe what she was about to do.
"Sure." Emma finally replied, raising her voice loud enough for the girls to hear her.
0o0o0
Emma was glad nobody was there to see her as she sat with Andrea, Kate, and Trish at Sam's house. She couldn't believe her predicament herself. Trish's fingers were in Emma's hair, braiding it. Every few minutes, Trish would sigh, undo the braid, and begin brushing Emma's hair so that she could start all over. Andrea was filing Kate's nails for her. When Andrea was through, Kate was going to file hers. The topic of conversation was Trish's baby.
"It's a girl." Trish said as-a-matter-of-factly, as though she knew for sure.
"How do you know?" Andrea asked amusedly.
"I tied my ring to a string, had Benjamin hold it over my belly." Trish explained as her fingers threaded in and out of Emma's hair. "The ring swung back and forth. That means it's a girl."
Kate and Andrea laughed.
"My mama always said if you carry low, it's a boy." Kate said when her laughter died down.
Trish pulled her fingers from Emma's hair.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Kate covered her mouth with her hand to hide her smile.
"Nothing."
"I'm not carrying low." Trish insisted, untangling Emma's braid to start over. "I'm carrying high."
"Okay." Andrea halfheartedly agreed with a shrug.
"Anyways, I want to name her Ruthanne." Trish continued on, ignoring Kate and Andrea's input. "Benjamin says he likes Sally, but I don't. I never liked Sally Clemson from town."
"Well, I guess you don't have to worry about that anymore." Emma muttered, speaking for the first time since joining the girls.
It was quiet, then. The only sounds were Trish brushing through Emma's hair and Kate filing down Andrea's nails.
"...as horrible as this is, Emma is right." Kate finally broke the silence.
"What do you mean?" Trish asked.
"Well, we won't ever have to deal with people from town that we couldn't stand."
"Kate, that's terrible." Andrea chastised Kate in a matronly way, finger wagging and everything.
"I know, but...it's true." Kate shrugged. "Like, I didn't get along with Suzanne Porter. She was always making up stories about people. She once told everybody that I had a crush on John Miller."
"I think you didn't like her because she was pretty." Trish teased Kate.
"Oh, please." Kate waved her hand at Trish. "I still liked Jackie, didn't I? I still like..."
Kate suddenly cut herself off before she could finish her last statement. Emma looked up just in time to catch Kate and Andrea staring at her. The moment she looked up, they looked away.
"What?" Emma asked.
"Nothing." Kate replied.
"You guys are silly." Trish spoke up from behind Emma. "Emma, she was talking about you."
"What?" Emma asked, becoming more confused. "When were you talking about me?"
"Oh, Emma." Kate rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Don't pretend like you don't know."
"Kate, I don't think she is." Andrea said, looking over at Emma with a smile. "I think what Kate was trying to say is that you're pretty."
Emma opened her mouth to speak, but Kate cut her off.
"No." Kate shook her head. "What I was trying to say is that Emma is drop dead gorgeous."
Emma suddenly became very uncomfortable. Trish's fingers felt like insects crawling along her scalp. She rolled her shoulders to try and shake off the discomfort.
"Thanks." Emma muttered, staring down at the floor.
"I mean it." Kate continued, as though suddenly she couldn't get enough of the topic. "If there was an award for most beautiful woman in town, you would get first and second place."
"Okay." Andrea laughed. "I think you're making Emma uncomfortable."
"Why?" Trish asked. "Kate is just giving her a compliment."
"Well, not that it would be hard to win that sort of award now..." Kate joked.
Another awkward silence settled over the group of girls. Trish seemed to finally find her groove with Emma's hair. She finished off the braid with a black ribbon. Andrea's nails were finished, so she began filing Kate's. Emma thought about all the work she could be getting done.
"...so, Kate, I couldn't help but notice what's been going on with you and Sam." Trish said, laying down on the floor.
"What do you mean?" Kate asked, refusing to meet Andrea's questioning eyes.
"Come on." Trish continued, running her hands up and down her belly. "You guys have definitely had a few moments."
"No, we haven't." Kate insisted weakly.
Emma could see how uncomfortable Kate was, especially since Andrea was staring directly at her. She remembered being put in that position many times, and how Sam was always there to get her out of those moments. Emma decided to pay it forward.
"...so, what will you name the baby if it's a boy?" Emma asked, turning her body towards Trish.
"Well, since it's going to be a girl, we haven't really talked about boy names much..." Trish prattled on about different name possibilities.
Kate gave Emma a grateful look. Emma nodded.
"...so, I guess my favorite of all of those is Benjamin." Trish finished. "Oh!"
"What is it?" Kate and Andrea asked simultaneously.
Trish pressed both hands to a particular spot on her belly. Emma thought she might feel sick.
"Ruthanne is kicking." Trish told the worried girls. "She does this to me all the time. She'll be really still all day, and then randomly, she'll just start kicking me really hard."
"Oooh." Kate crawled to where Trish was laying. "Let me feel."
Emma watched as Trish held Kate's hand to her swollen belly. Kate giggled. Andrea slowly made her way over, waiting for her turn to feel Trish's baby kick. Emma didn't see the attraction. In fact, all she could think of was poor Lori. Images of pale, pregnant Lori sprawled out on her sofa flashed through Emma's mind. She figured she had put enough time in with the girls. Rick would have been pleased, or at least Emma thought so.
"Well, I have a few things I want to do before the day is over." Emma announced suddenly, getting to her feet.
"Are you sure?" Andrea asked, her hand on Trish's belly. "You don't want to feel?"
"Maybe some other time." Emma replied insincerely, already stepping backwards towards the door. "Thank you for the braid, Trish."
Trish was about to say 'you're welcome', but Emma was already out the door.
0o0o0
That night, Emma sat with her legs over the side of the barn like she had earlier that day. She was dressed for bed and a shawl was draped around her shoulders in the night air. At supper, Rick was visibly pleased to hear about Emma spending time with the girls. Kate and Trish had gone on and on about how they were happy Emma had finally spent time with them. Trish was proud of the way she had braided Emma's hair. With all of the attention on her, Emma felt uncomfortable again. She focused on finishing her supper as quickly as possible so that she could leave.
Suddenly, Emma heard someone coming up the ladder. She hadn't even heard the barn doors open. Emma turned her head to see who was coming. Her lantern was lit on her trunk, but a second lantern was coming up the ladder with whoever was climbing it. Finally, Emma could see that it was Daryl. She got up from where she had been sitting as he stepped up into the loft.
"Daryl?" Emma stood in front of the opening, her arms cross over her chest. "What are you doing here?"
Daryl set down his lantern before he took several steps towards Emma. She remained still.
"I..." Daryl cleared his throat. "I'm...sorry..."
Emma didn't know if there was anymore, but she remained silent.
"It isn't your fault that Merle died, and you were right, I've known that all along." Daryl admitted. "Merle was probably dead already, but even if he wasn't, there was no way I was going to be able to save him without getting myself killed in the process."
Daryl took another step forward.
"I still wish...you would have just told me-"
"You weren't listening to any of us." Emma interrupted.
"I know, I just..." Daryl kicked the floor. "I just felt like I couldn't trust you...after..."
"I know." Emma replied quietly.
Daryl closed the gap between himself and Emma. They looked into each other's eyes in silence for a long while. Emma thought back to their first meeting. Visions of herself in Daryl's arms, her eyes lost in his dark blue ones, the way his body felt against hers...all flickered through her mind. Then, Daryl reached out for Emma. His fingers wound around her braid, barely brushing her breast through her nightdress. Emma stifled a gasp.
"This is pretty." Daryl told Emma in a deep, low voice.
"Thank you." Emma replied, trying to keep her voice even even though her heart was fluttering rapidly within her body.
Daryl brought his other hand up to Emma's face. He cupped her cheek in his palm.
"You look pretty."
Emma closed her eyes long before Daryl kissed her. Her ears picked up the sounds of her breathing and his. They were both taking deep, heavy breaths. The feeling of Daryl's calluses against her skin was more intense with her eyes shut. Daryl's strength filled Emma up as he finally kissed her slightly parted lips. The moment their lips touched, Daryl let go of Emma's braid so that he could instead fill his hand with her breast. Emma sighed and wrapped her arms around Daryl's thick neck. Without breaking their heated kiss, Daryl swept Emma off her feet and into his arms. Emma gasped, but their kiss never faltered. Daryl carried Emma to where her makeshift bed was.
Daryl laid Emma down upon her bed. Their kissing became more intense. Tongues were touching. Teeth were grazing upper and lower lips. Hot air was being exchanged. All the while, hands were wandering. Daryl's fingers found Emma's nipples easily on the outside of her nightdress. Emma's hands were getting lost in Daryl's hair, his neck, his shoulder blades... It all felt so familiar. Then, Emma remembered why. Her mind traveled back in time a year. She remembered the first time she and Daryl had laid together. It had been in that very loft, in that very bed. Then, Emma remembered what happened afterward.
"Wait." Emma managed to whisper as she and Daryl kissed. "Stop."
Daryl immediately pulled away.
"What is it?" Daryl asked, his voice husky from kissing and touching. "Did I hurt you?"
"Yes, but..." Emma tried to control her breathing. "Not now..."
It was silent in that dimly lit part of the loft, save the sounds of Daryl and Emma breathing heavily.
"Oh..." Daryl finally replied when he understood.
Daryl held Emma's face between his hands as he looked down at her.
"I forgot we haven't been back here together since..." Daryl murmured, his breathing slowly returning to normal. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking-"
"It's okay." Emma breathed. "I just...can't...right now..."
"Should I go?" Daryl asked softly.
"Not yet." Emma replied quickly. "Stay...for a little while..."
"Okay."
Daryl rolled off of Emma and onto his back. He was about to reach for her, but she was already turning towards him. Daryl waited for Emma to get comfortable before he wrapped his arms around her. With Emma's head rested on Daryl's chest, and his arms around her body, it was like how it used to be before the illness infected the town. Emma was happy that Daryl had finally come to her with his true feelings, but also felt uneasy about what it meant for the group. It hadn't dawned on Emma until those moments in which she was laying with Daryl in the loft, but she decided that she didn't want everyone to know her business. She saw firsthand how Trish had noticed Sam and Kate spending time together, and the way she didn't think twice about bringing it up. Emma didn't want that to be what happened to her and Daryl. She wanted to keep things private for as long as possible.
"Daryl, I think I'm going to continue staying up here." Emma finally broke the silence once she had time to think things over. "It's not that-"
"I know." Daryl interrupted, running one of his hands up and down Emma's bare arm. "I was thinking the same thing...at least I think so."
Emma sat up just enough to look at Daryl, but remained in his embrace.
"I don't want everyone in our business." Emma said as Daryl ran his fingers through a curl that had escaped Trish's braid. "It was one thing when it was just me, you, Merle, Sam..."
"I feel the same way." Daryl agreed. "It's nobody's business what we say and do, but they'll make it their business."
"So, I'm going to stay here, at least for now."
Daryl pulled his hand from Emma's hair so that he could run his knuckles along her cheekbone.
"We'll figure the rest out later." Daryl murmured, running his thumb along Emma's cheek.
Emma felt feelings stirring within her. She knew if Daryl stayed any longer, they might return to kissing. If not, they might fall asleep together. It would be difficult to explain why Daryl had stayed in the loft with Emma the next morning when everyone saw him leaving the barn.
"Maybe you should go." Emma suggested softly.
Daryl took his hand from Emma's face.
"Okay."
Emma went to roll away from Daryl to let him up, but he suddenly leaned in and kissed her. It was quick and chaste, but it made Emma smile.
"I'll bring your lantern over, shut the hay door-"
"Don't worry about it." Emma interrupted Daryl as he stood. "I'll do it."
Daryl headed over to where his lantern was sitting. He carried it with him to the ladder as Emma stood and dusted the hay from her nightdress and hair. Daryl held the lantern up so that Emma could see his face. He was giving her his notorious half smile.
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight." Emma answered back.
Emma went to get her lantern. She took it with her to the hay door to watch Daryl return home. In the darkness, his lantern glowed like a firefly. Emma watched the lantern as it floated through the cool air and in the direction of Daryl's house. Emma felt truly happy for the first time in a while. She could forget all of the terrible things that had happened over the past year - Hershel's death, Daryl's multiple betrayals, Lori's death, Amy's death, Merle's death and the illness that brought the dead to life. Even if it was only for the night, Emma could block out the bad and welcome the good with open arms.
Thoughts of Daryl kept Emma warm that night.
0o0o0
The next day, Rick called an unexpected meeting at Merle's. So, while the reverend was on watch, everyone else gathered in Merle's living room. Emma was surprised to see the kids in attendance. They had never been present at a meeting before. Then, it dawned on Emma. Could the meeting have something to do with her first lesson with the kids? Emma discreetly watched Sophia from where she sat on the floor. Sophia was in her mom's lap. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Sophia was usually shy and quiet, very clingy to her mother. Emma couldn't be sure that her secret lesson was the topic of conversation, but she wasn't holding her breath, either.
"Kate and Trish came to me this morning with an idea that I wanted to run by everyone." Rick announced when everyone was seated and quiet. "Girls?"
Kate helped Trish off the sofa, then the two of them stood in front of the group.
"With everything that's happened, Trish and I just thought it might be nice to cut loose for a night." Kate started in right away. "Every year, Rick and Lori hosted a fall gathering at their home. For most of us, it was the highlight of our year. This year, for obvious reasons, we weren't able to have one-"
"But why shouldn't we?" Trish interrupted. "Sure, a lot of bad stuff has happened, but shouldn't we all take the time to enjoy life? I mean, we're all still alive, aren't we?"
"How are we going to have a fall gathering without a town full of people?" Mary asked.
"We can still have a gathering." Kate answered somewhat defensively. "It would be a smaller gathering, but a gathering nonetheless."
"Benjamin has a fiddle." Trish piped up excitedly. "He could play music for us to dance to."
"Trish-"
"What?" Trish asked before her husband could protest. "You could."
"All of the women could cook." Kate continued, ignoring Benjamin and Trish as they continued quietly going back and forth. "We couldn't cook on a large scale, but we could still make a good meal."
"There's plenty of apples-"
"Don't you think this is a bit disrepectful?" Luanne asked before Trish could sell the group on pies.
"I agree with Luanne." Ellen said, shifting Anna in her lap.
"Trish, it's wonderful that your husband was able to return to the farm, and that you two kids are expecting, but..." Luanne trailed off.
"What?" Trish asked, her hands on her hips.
Ellen sniffed and looked down at her daughter, hiding her tears.
"Not everyone was as fortunate as the two of you." Luanne continued quietly.
Mary rubbed Ellen's back.
"So?" Trish asked. "What does that have to do with anything?"
Nobody spoke. Emma looked around at everyone. Ellen continued crying quietly while Mary silently comforted her. Luanne looked as though she wanted to speak, but she didn't. Nobody was going to explain to the two pinheads why a party wasn't what everyone wanted. Emma sighed. She was going to have to do it. After she had tried to join the girls to show Rick that she could give people a chance, Emma was going to be back at square one.
"Girls, why don't you sit down?" Rick suggested before Emma could speak.
Kate and Trish sat back down, with Trish muttering to herself all the while.
"I don't think Kate and Trish meant to hurt anyone, or to be disrespectful to anybody here, or to the memories of people we've lost." Rick spoke after the young girls were seated. "I think they only wanted to cheer everyone up."
"I know." Luanne nodded. "I'm not angry, or upset...I just...don't want any part of a party."
"All right-"
"This isn't fair!" Trish cried, interrupting Rick.
"Trish-"
"Kate, Benjamin, and I...even the kids...we're all young." Trish blubbered while Benjamin tried to console her. "We can't help what happened. We can't help that people died and life is awful. We were just trying to make our lives here a little better."
"Is it so wrong for us to want to have some fun?" Kate asked, taking over while Trish sobbed next to her.
Emma watched Daryl roll his eyes. She stifled a smile.
"Of course not," Shane stepped in, "but not everybody here shares your feelings. They're allowed to disagree with you. That doesn't necessarily mean you're wrong."
"Well, it sure feels like it." Trish hiccuped.
It got quiet again, except for Trish as she continued to cry.
"Kids," Rick spoke softly, "what do you guys think?"
Sophia shrugged her shoulders.
"I guess it could be fun." Todd spoke up first. "I haven't had fun since yesterday."
"Yesterday?" Rick asked.
Emma sat up a little straighter. She hoped Todd wasn't about to blow their secret.
"Yeah." Todd nodded. "We had fun with Emma. She was showing us different plants and stuff. We played some games."
"It was a lot of fun." Carl agreed.
Emma breathed a sigh of relief.
"Well, that's great." Rick gave Emma a smile before he looked back at the kids. "What do you think about the idea of a party?"
"Sure." Carl shrugged his shoulders. "It could be fun."
"So, it seems pretty divided." Andrea said, looking around at everyone. "What should we do?"
"What if we let the girls do their gathering here, at this house," Rick pointed to the floor, "and anybody who doesn't want to be involved can go elsewhere until the party is through?"
"Would that make everyone happy?" Shane asked.
There were whispers and murmurs, but the general consensus was that everyone was fine with that plan. With the issue resolved, everyone went back to business.
"Emma!"
Emma turned before she could leave to see Trish and Kate waving her over.
"What?" Emma asked, joining the girls by the fireplace.
"We were sort of hoping you would help us with the pies." Kate said, biting her lip.
"Pies?" Emma asked.
"For the gathering tonight."
"Please, Emma?" Trish begged, folding her hands together. "Nobody else will help us."
Emma wanted to say no, but she turned her head to see Rick watching her. She knew the nice thing to do would be to help the girls with their stupid pies. Then, she could leave them to their party.
"All right." Emma sighed.
The young girls both squealed and threw their arms around Emma, who rolled her eyes as they hugged her. Emma just so happened to look over at Daryl as he was getting ready to leave. He had caught her eye roll, and looked as though he was trying not to smile. Emma couldn't stifle hers for a second time.
0o0o0
That evening, there seemed to be a clear divide among the group. Luanne, Mary and Todd, and Ellen and Anna all went to Sam's when the festivities started. Daryl was on guard duty at the gate. Everyone else was at Merle's house, even Emma, although she didn't want to be deep down. She had helped Trish and Kate with the pies, which then turned into Andrea and Emma making the pies while Kate and Trish tried to decorate Merle's living room with whatever they could find. As soon as the pies were set out to cool, Emma tried to make her exit. That was when Carl made a plea for her to stay, after all, Mary had kept Todd from coming to the party, which left Carl with only Sophia for company. Emma gave in and stayed, but promised herself that she would leave once the kids went to bed.
"I really feel bad that the others don't want to be here." Rick was saying to Shane, Emma, and the reverend. "Do you think we made the wrong call, I mean, I did say I didn't want friction within the group."
"I don't think there will be any." The reverend reassured Rick.
"I hope not." Rick mumbled.
Emma looked around the room. Andrea had excused herself for a minute so that she could put Judith down. Benjamin was fooling around with his fiddle. Trish was standing over him, chattering on and on about something. The doctor and Carol were sitting with Sophia and Carl, who both looked bored. Emma thought it was funny that both Sam and Kate were missing. She thought maybe they had gone for a walk. Emma thought that would be nice for Sam. It was all a far cry from the fall gathering Emma remembered from the year before. The food, the sweets, the dancing...
"Benjamin, play something." Trish whined. "I want to dance."
"Are you sure you should be dancing?" Carol asked with a smile.
Benjamin started to play his fiddle. Trish swayed back and forth, tapping her belly gently to the beat. Carol leaned over to Carl and Sophia and whispered something. They both made disgusted faces and shook their heads back and forth. Carol and the doctor laughed.
"Emma, would you do me a favor?" Rick asked.
"Sure." Emma replied, hoping his favor involved her leaving the house.
"Could you go and check on the others?" Rick asked. "I would feel better about all of this knowing...you know."
"Okay."
Emma couldn't leave the house fast enough. She was about to go to Sam's when she saw one of the bar doors open. Emma rolled her eyes. People needed to be better about closing them, especially at night. Emma went for the barn instead, but as she was shutting the door, she heard voices inside. Curious, Emma poked her head in. The whispering continued. Neither person had noticed Emma's presence. Then, one of the voices was giggling. Emma stopped herself before she could laugh out loud. It was obviously Sam and Kate, thinking they were sneaky. Emma decided to let them be, but as she turned to go, Sam stepped backwards out of an empty stall. It wasn't Kate that Sam was kissing. It was Andrea's waist that Sam had his arms wrapped around. Shocked, Emma stood still, hoping they wouldn't see her. Unfortunately, Andrea looked over when she broke her kiss with Sam. Her eyes widened in horror.
"Oh my god..." Andrea jerked away from Sam.
Sam looked to see what Andrea was so upset about. His eyes grew just as large as Andrea's when he saw Emma standing in the barn.
"Emma..." Sam took a step towards Emma, but then stopped. "I can explain-"
"Sam, stop." Andrea whispered harshly, glaring sideways at Sam.
Emma picked her jaw from up off the floor.
"You don't have to explain anything to me," Emma lowered her eyes and waved her hands, "in fact, I would rather you didn't."
Emma took a step backwards.
"Emma, please." Andrea murmured, her expression softening. "Please...don't say anything."
"I won't." Emma promised, lifting her eyes to show her sincerity.
"Well, then where are you going?"
"Rick asked me to check on the people at Sam's-"
"Perfect." Andrea cut Emma off before he could finish. "I'll do that for you."
Andrea left Sam without another word between them, then walked past Emma and out the barn door. Emma stood, not knowing what to do or how to react. Part of her her thought she should just head back to the party without saying anything, but then she saw the look on Sam's face. He needed her.
"Sam..." Emma shut the barn door behind her. "I'm so sorry-"
"It's not your fault." Sam murmured, shaking his head. "We were bound to get caught sooner or later."
Emma folded her arms over her chest.
"Andrea?" Emma asked softly, trying to approach the subject from a delicate place. "How long has this been going on?"
Sam shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged.
"A few weeks." Sam replied.
"I thought you and Kate-"
"We sorta were, I guess, but then..." Sam shook his head. "I don't even remember how it happened with Andrea. It just...did."
"What about Shane?" Emma asked.
"Andrea said he hasn't been paying her any attention..."
Emma tried to listen while Sam explained the riveting love story of Shane and Andrea, but she suddenly remembered the game Andrea had played with Shane...involving Clarke. Emma wondered if Sam was just another Clarke to Andrea.
"...so...do you...?" Emma asked, not knowing if she had interrupted Sam or not.
"I don't...think so..." Sam answered slowly. "I mean, I don't feel the way for her the way I felt about Amy...if that's what you mean..."
"I'm sorry, Sam." Emma said, setting her hand on Sam's shoulder.
Sam didn't say anything more. Eventually, Emma gently pulled him out of the barn and back to Merle's, where they found a party in full swing. Benjamin was playing his fiddle a little more enthusiastically than before. Trish and Kate were dancing in circles around each other. Mary was dancing with Todd. Ellen had Anna on her hip, but she was swaying back and forth with a smile on her face. Shane was twirling Sophia around, who was giggling. The reverend and Andrea were sort of dancing, but mostly talking, but it seemed like a happy chat. The doctor and Carol were dancing together. Rick and Carl were standing side by side, observing everyone. When Carl saw Emma return, he dragged her out onto the dance floor. Rick looked on in laughter, until Emma pulled him in and they danced as a trio. Sam made his way over to Trish and Kate. Trish practically shoved Kate into his arms.
Emma looked all around the room as she danced with Rick and Carl. Everyone seemed happy. The vibe in the room was a pleasant one, but even so, Emma felt an emptiness inside. There was one face she wanted to see, but it wasn't there. He wasn't there.
After a while, Emma excused herself from the party. Nobody seemed to notice, except for Rick and Carl. Emma wrapped her arms around herself as she walked in the darkness from Merle's house to the gate. The laughter and noise from the party quieted the further away she got, but she could still hear the fiddle cutting through the night clear as day. Finally, Emma could see Daryl standing watch at the gate. Jim was standing nearby, tied up, in case Daryl needed him. Daryl turned.
"Hey." Emma greeted Daryl when she got close enough.
"Hey yourself." Daryl replied. "What are you doing out here?"
"I just didn't feel like staying back there." Emma replied simply.
"Bored?" Daryl asked, quirking an eyebrow.
Emma shook her head.
"Truth?"
Daryl nodded.
"Lonely." Emma murmured.
Daryl made a noise like a grunt, except softer. He suddenly took his gun from his shoulders and balanced it against the gate. Then, before Emma could ask what he was doing, he pulled her to him. With the sound of a lone fiddle as their song, Daryl and Emma danced together. Emma looked up into Daryl's eyes. They were even darker, but somehow, also lighter in the moonlight. Emma felt that same happiness from the night before as she danced with Daryl under the stars. She knew Daryl felt it, too, because he mirrored her smile perfectly as though they truly were reflections of each other.
Emma waited for that emptiness to fill, but as time passed, it didn't. There was still a piece of her, however small it was, that was missing. Emma was puzzled, but tried not to let it show. Puzzlement turned into discomfort. Why did she feel any kind of emptiness at all? She shouldn't have. What more did she need? Why didn't she feel fulfilled? How long had there been a missing piece? There were so many questions that needed answers, but Emma didn't even know where to start. As her head spun, she decided to put those questions away for the evening. Emma wanted to be in the moment with Daryl as they danced in a circle, at the edge of the world, underneath the moon.
"Girl From The North Country" - Johnny Cash & Bob Dylan [Daryl and Emma talk during the day/Daryl and Emma talk at night, kiss]
"When The Stars Go Blue" - Tim McGraw [The party]
"When The Stars Go Blue" - Ryan Adams [Daryl and Emma dance in secret]