Chapter 29 - ...A True Love of Mine
"I'm not going."
Anna was already nestled into the back of the carriage with Kate, while the doctor had climbed into the saddle upon the horse Daryl had given him since there wasn't enough room in the smaller carriage for everyone who was leaving. Andrea was standing beside the carriage, her eyes on the ground to avoid the eyes of her father, who was standing beneath the porch steps watching her. Ellen had been motioning for Todd to come down off of the porch, but when he had refused, she slowly lowered her arms. Emma was watching the display beside Daryl. Carl stood in front of her watching, helpless.
"Todd, we talked about this." Ellen spoke softly as Todd remained on the porch with Rick and Shane. "My house is within the walls in town. You, me, and Anna will be able to return to normal-"
"You aren't my mom." Todd interrupted Ellen as angrily as he could, but his voice cracked several times. "My parents are both dead. I don't want to go."
Ellen started up the steps, but Todd threw his arms around Rick's waist.
"Please don't make me go, Sheriff." Todd cried into Rick's side.
Carl started to move, but Emma set her hands on his shoulders to stop him.
"This isn't your fight." Emma murmured.
"Todd, we have to go." Ellen told him sternly.
Rick had wrapped one of his arms around Todd, but as Ellen started to gently pry Todd off of Rick, he slowly let go of him.
"It's going to be okay, Todd." Rick reassured him.
"I don't want to go!" Todd screeched as Ellen finally pulled him off of Rick.
Emma could feel Carl trembling, so she pulled him in close to her, one arm around his shoulders. It was hard, even for her, to watch Ellen drag Todd towards the carriage as he continued shrieking. His cries had woken Anna, who started to whimper. Kate tried to comfort her quietly as Ellen picked Todd up off the ground and ushered him into the carriage.
The reverend started towards his daughter, but she quickly climbed up beside Ellen, who had taken up Apple's reigns. Without another word, the carriage was off. Todd's and Anna's sobs were audible as the carriage pulled away from the house. As the doctor followed close behind, he tipped his hat to everyone watching from Merle's house.
0o0o0
That night, as Emma was leaving Merle's house to go home, Skipper slowly trudged after her.
"Skipper, are you coming with me?" Emma asked, surprised as the dog followed her out the door.
Usually, Skipper stuck pretty close to Sam. Emma hadn't taken it personally. She knew that Sam had been there for Skipper when she left the farm to take the job on the Grimes' farm. Skipper returned the favor when Sam had grieved over Amy all those weeks. Emma was glad they had each other when they needed somebody.
Emma led Skipper by lantern to the house, then let him in first. Skipper needed help getting up on the bed, but he settled into it quickly as Emma got ready for bed. Daryl was on watch, so it was just Emma and Skipper for a few hours until he returned. When Emma was dressed for bed, she climbed in on her side. Skipper got up from where he had been dozing to curl up with her. Emma rhythmically stroked the dog as she lay in bed thinking over the departure that had taken place that morning. There were so many thoughts and questions rolling through her mind. Had they done the right thing by allowing people to leave? Had she done the right thing by talking Carol and Benjamin into staying? Should they have let Todd go with Ellen when he clearly wanted to stay? Would Todd's leaving have any repercussions for Carl? Why hadn't Andrea stayed with her father? Why hadn't the reverend gone with Andrea? Did Sam care all that much that Kate had left? Did he care about Andrea leaving?
Emma knew they couldn't hold anyone against their will, but she just hoped that Shane had been clear in explaining to them that they couldn't divulge any information about the farm to Philip Blake or anyone else in his group. Emma also knew that Carol and Benjamin had obviously chosen to stay behind because they wanted to, not just because she had tried to convince them to remain on the farm. Deep down, Emma agreed with Ellen about Todd. Ellen was the closest one to Mary. Therefore, it made sense that she be put in charge of Todd. Carl still had his little sister and Sophia. Emma decided to give Carl a little more to do around the farm to keep him busy. As for the rest, it wasn't her business. Andrea and the reverend made their decisions. Emma didn't know whether Sam and Andrea had ended things, or if he had been trying to pursue Kate. If Sam wanted to tell Emma, he would.
As Emma lay petting Skipper, she felt herself becoming drowsy. She pressed one kiss to the top of the dog's head.
"Goodnight, old boy." Emma murmured before drifting off to sleep.
0o0o0
Daryl walked up to Merle's house the next morning with a heavy heart. He had bad news to share with Emma, and he hated it. That morning when he had woken, Emma was already gone, as usual. Skipper was still in bed, which was strange. Though he usually stayed with Sam, when he did stay with Daryl and Emma, he would always wake up with her and follow her out of the house. Daryl thought maybe the old dog was just really tired, so he got up and started getting ready for the day. When the dog still hadn't stirred as Daryl finished up, he grew concerned. Daryl knew before he even checked that Skipper was dead, but he was hoping he was wrong. Unfortunately, he wasn't. Skipper had died.
Daryl circled Merle's house to the back door. Emma was inside serving up breakfast to Rick, who had just finished guard duty, and the reverend. Daryl wished he could just walk through the door, give Emma a kiss, and sit down for breakfast. Instead, he had to deliver the news of her dog's death. Daryl cleared his throat, prepared himself, and then knocked on the back door to get Emma's attention.
"What are you-"
"Can you come outside for a minute?" Daryl asked as Emma started for the back door.
Emma's brow furrowed, but she came outside when Daryl opened the door for her.
"What is it?" Emma asked, folding her arms over her chest.
Daryl could barely look Emma in the eye as he prepared to tell her about Skipper. He knew how much that dog meant to Emma. Skipper had been with Emma since Hershel died. Even though Emma didn't speak all that much about her past, Daryl could guess what losing Skipper would mean to her. It would mean losing a companion she had known for seven years. It would mean losing a friend she had leaned on for support after Hershel's death. Daryl wanted to curse any higher power that might have existed for taking Skipper away from Emma.
"I got somethin' to tell you." Daryl finally muttered as he scratched the back of his head.
"Daryl, what is it?"
Daryl swallowed as he slowly lifted his eyes to meet Emma's.
"It's..." Daryl cleared his throat. "Skipper is...dead..."
Daryl watched Emma's face closely for any sort of reaction, but she appeared unfazed.
"You-"
"Okay." Emma cut Daryl off with a wave of her hand.
"Okay?" Daryl asked confusedly as his eyebrows came together.
"Thanks for telling me." Emma replied, her hand already on the doorknob. "I'll dig a hole after I finish up here in the kitchen."
"I can-"
"No." Emma interrupted Daryl harshly. "I want to do it."
Daryl was still so confused about Emma's reaction as he watched her go back inside. He didn't know what to do. He was torn between going after her and respecting her wishes. As he stood outside watching Emma clean up as Rick and the reverend ate at the table, he decided to honor her wishes. Daryl wasn't all that hungry, so instead of going inside, he decided to go back to the house. Daryl knew Emma had a couple of Hershel's shirts in her possession. He figured it might be nice to wrap Skipper in one of those shirts. Daryl thought Emma would like that.
Skipper was still in the bed when Daryl returned to the house. The dog hadn't suddenly sprung back to life in Daryl's absence, even though he had been silently hoping he would. Daryl went to the bureau where Emma's clothes were. As he was searching for one of Hershel's shirts, something small tumbled out of a pocket of one of the skirts and clattered to the floor. Daryl knelt down to retrieve the object. As he did, he studied it in his palm. It was a ring with a very tiny, blue stone. Daryl wondered where the ring had come from. In all the time he had known Emma, he had never seen her wear a piece of jewelry. Daryl turned the ring over and over again in his fingers. After he had inspected the ring from every angle, and still hadn't figured out its origins, he pocketed it so that it didn't get lost.
Daryl gently wrapped Skipper in one of Hershel's shirts, then carried the dog's limp body outside. Emma was already digging a hole near the barn.
"I wrapped him up in-"
"Great." Emma huffed as she continued digging.
Daryl stood watching Emma dig. She hadn't even looked up when he had come upon her, or spoken to her. It was as if she was in a trance. Emma didn't pause or hesitate for even a second as Daryl slowly laid Skipper's body down beside the hole. Watching Emma dig the dog a grave reminded Daryl of the services the group had held for the people who had died. It gave Daryl an idea.
0o0o0
Daryl returned to the fresh grave Emma had just finished in a half hour's time. With him came everyone else, except Benjamin, who was on watch. Emma looked up for the first time from the hole she had dug to see the group surrounding her.
"What's going on?" Emma asked as she looked from face to face.
Sam had silent tears trickling down his cheeks. His shoulders shook as he tried to contain his sadness over Skipper's passing. Both of the kids looked just as upset.
"We want to pray over Skipper." Rick explained drowsily, having just been woken by Daryl.
"We have given a service to everyone else here who has passed." The reverend explained. "We want to honor Skipper in the same way."
Emma got up out of the hole on her own, even though Daryl had extended his hand to her.
"Why?" Emma asked. "Skipper is just a dog."
"No-"
"He was just a dog." Emma snapped, cutting off Sam. "If ya'll want to waste your time having this service for a dog you didn't even know that well, then I can't stop you, but I'm not going to join you."
With that, Emma stomped away from the group as they watched her leave in silence.
"Emma is obviously upset." Rick spoke first.
"Yes." The reverend agreed with a nod. "I still plan to hold a short service for anyone who would like to stay."
Daryl turned his head and thought about going after Emma, but he decided to stay for the service. Emma had attended Merle's service when Daryl couldn't. He was going to return the favor.
"Heavenly Father," the reverend began the service, "Creator of all things, thank you for giving us the gift of this loyal and loving pet. We thank you for the memories, for it is through those memories that we will seek comfort as we grieve for Skipper. With overwhelming gratitude, we return him to you. Amen."
"Amen." Everyone replied, including Daryl.
"Would anyone like to say anything about Skipper?" The reverend asked.
"I will." Sam sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his sleeve. "Skipper was a good dog. He was always there for me when I needed him. He would follow me around everywhere, and he would curl up with me at night, and he would always come when I called him..."
Sam started to cry. Carl and Sophia reached for his hands.
"Like the reverend said, Skipper was a loyal and loving dog." Rick spoke up when Sam couldn't any longer. "We'll never be able to replace him, and we'll all miss him."
A few more words were spoken about Skipper, and then the service was over. Rick and Carol took the kids back up to the house, while Shane and the reverend returned to what they had been doing previously. Sam remained behind as Daryl lowered Skipper's wrapped body into the bottom of the hole. As Daryl picked up the shovel to cover Skipper, Sam stopped him.
"Go and find Emma." Sam told Daryl tearfully. "I'll take care of this."
"Are you sure?" Daryl asked as Sam took the shovel from him.
"Yeah." Sam replied with a nod.
Daryl gave Sam a gentle clap on the back before he went to go find Emma. It didn't take him long to discover her sitting by the willows over the stream. When Daryl came upon Emma, he stopped. Emma's shoulders were visibly quivering. The occasional soft sob escaped her lips. Emma was crying. Daryl had never seen Emma cry before. Until that moment, he didn't even think she was capable of tears. As he stood listening to her cry, he suddenly felt that same feeling he had experienced after Clarke passed away. Daryl was needed. Emma needed him.
Daryl slowly approached Emma so as not to startle her, then sat down beside her. Emma didn't acknowledge Daryl's presence. They sat together for several minutes, with Emma's tears being the only sound between them. Daryl gently placed one hand on Emma's back. Since she still hadn't looked at him or spoken to him, he didn't want to push her. With Daryl's hand on her back, Emma finally looked over at Daryl. There were tears streaming down her face and pink rims bordering the bottom of her eyes. Daryl didn't speak. He just moved his hand from the center of her back so that he could wrap his arm around her shoulders. Emma closed her eyes and slowly leaned into Daryl as he wrapped his other arm around her body. Daryl held Emma to him as she cried into his chest, her tears soaking through his shirt.
0o0o0
Everyone slowly adjusted to life without the others that left. Without Andrea, Kate, and Ellen to help with cooking, cleaning, and caring for the kids, Carol was forced to band together with Emma. They split the chores between them, and slowly but surely, Carol started to trust Emma again. It was in part because she was forced to, but also because Emma showed Carol that she was capable of respecting her wishes as Sophia's mother.
Meanwhile, without the doctor, the remaining men had to take slightly longer shifts while on watch. Shane was still on edge about Blake and his group, so he and Rick decided that the men would take shifts together in pairs. Rick and Shane took watch together, while Daryl and Sam were paired up, leaving the reverend and Benjamin as a team by default.
As April gave way to May, which then melted into June, the newly formed group had nailed down their routines. With the warmer weather, the kids were in bright spirits. After lessons, Carl would help Emma with whatever she was doing, or she would give him a task all his own. Sophia was a big help with watching Judith, who was even more mobile at a year and a half. They would play together in front of Merle's house while Emma or Carol looked on as they completed chores.
Emma was in the barn sweeping up stray hay and dirt one afternoon the first week of June. The following week, she would be meeting with Philip for the first time. As decided at the last meeting between Rick and Philip, they were meeting up for another exchange. Emma would be going with Rick and the reverend. Reverend Horvath was hopeful that he would be able to see Andrea. Emma was curious to see the walled off part of town, the state of the town that wasn't walled off, and to meet Philip.
Emma heard someone enter the barn through the open doors. She turned to see that it was Daryl. A curl fell into her eyes as she smiled back at him.
"Hey." Emma greeted him, then blew hard enough to get the stray curl out of her face.
Emma turned back around to continue sweeping. As another curl fell into her face, she paused to sweep one hand through her hair.
"Marry me."
Emma froze, her hand halfway through her hair. For what seemed like an eternity, she remained as still as a statue. Daryl didn't speak again. Emma could hear him breathing, and hadn't heard him exit, so she knew he was still there. Emma pulled her hand out of her messy bun, then slowly turned around to face Daryl. Sure enough, he was still standing in the open doorway.
"What?" Emma asked, her voice coming out unexpectedly quiet.
Daryl took a step into the barn.
"You heard me." Daryl replied.
Emma didn't speak as Daryl closed the distance between them. He took the broom from her hand and balanced it against the stall they were standing in front of. Then, he reached for her freed hand and held it tightly in his as he used his other hand to gently free her hair from the bun at the back of her head. Emma's curls tumbled down her front and back as she looked up into Daryl's eyes.
"I found this," Daryl reached into his pocket, "a couple months ago."
Emma looked down as Daryl produced a familiar looking ring from his pocket. Emma had forgotten all about the ring Clarke had given to her the last time they had spoken before he died.
"Where-"
"It fell out of one of your skirt pockets." Daryl interrupted Emma with the answer to her question before she could ask it. "I was going to ask you what it was because I couldn't figure it out, but then I did."
It was all so surreal. Emma, who thought she would never fall in love or be married, was being proposed to for the second time in her life.
"Why are you doing this?" Emma asked, looking up from the ring to meet Daryl's eyes.
"Clarke only knew you for a short while before he went out and bought you this ring, asked you to marry him." Daryl explained as he held up the ring. "Even though he barely knew you, he knew you were the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with."
"I don't understand."
"I've known you for a lot longer than Clarke ever did." Daryl continued. "I know things about you that he never knew. I know all about your past, the things you been through..."
"Daryl-"
"I know you make the best coffee I ever tasted." Daryl cut Emma off quickly. "You bust your ass around this farm just as much as me or Merle or Sam ever did. You're the prettiest...you're the most...beautiful woman I've ever seen..."
Emma tried to look down as Daryl showered her in compliments, but he used the hand he was holding the ring in to tip her chin up so that she couldn't escape his gaze.
"You know where we are?" Daryl asked softly. "This is where we first met."
As she walked across them to blow out the lantern and head to bed, she was suddenly falling. It happened so quickly, yet so slowly at the same time. Emma realized right away that the floorboards had broken under her weight, but not in enough time to stop herself from going through them. She felt the splintered wood scrape against her ankles, then up her legs as she passed through the hole. Emma braced herself for the floor below. She would surely break a leg, or even both. She had her eyes shut as she waited for the impact. It never came, not in the way she had been anticipating.
Suddenly, she was in a pair of arms. She felt wet fabric against her skin, felt two arms holding her around the back and beneath her legs, smelled sweat and blood in close proximity to her body. Emma opened her eyes when she realized she wasn't going to hit the ground. She looked up into the dark, blue eyes of a stranger. She could tell because a lantern that hadn't been there before was hanging on the wall just over his shoulder. He had to have entered just a moment before Emma fell through the floor.
Emma realized that she had her arms around the stranger's thick neck. She pulled away from him, but he didn't move. As she had pulled away from him, her skin had brushed the scraggly beard on his face. It was the same beard Merle wore. Emma knew it was Daryl. As she looked up into his eyes, the only place she could seem to look, she chalked up her pounding heart to the surprise of having fallen through the floor just above their heads.
"Hello." Emma breathed, clearing her throat.
Daryl gave Emma a nod in return.
"I remember." Emma murmured as the memory played in her mind.
"Even though you annoyed the hell out of me with your attitude," Daryl cracked a smile that mirrored the one coming to Emma's face, "I thought you were the prettiest thing I'd ever seen."
Emma's smile softened as Daryl's hand glided from her chin up to her cheek.
"Even then?" Emma asked.
"Even then." Daryl replied with a nod.
Daryl stroked Emma's cheek.
"I didn't know it then, but you were gonna change my life." Daryl's smile faded so that he wore a more serious expression. "You did change my life."
Emma looked into Daryl's eyes as though she was looking in them for the very first time, like that night in the barn when they met. Emma knew how proposals worked. The boy would ask the girl's father for permission, then if he gave it, the boy would take the girl out for a wonderful evening. The girl would wear her prettiest dress. The boy would get down on one knee and present a ring to her. It was all very formal and traditional.
Emma looked down at herself. Her blouse and skirt were soiled with dirt and sweat from having worked in the barn for the better part of a day. She smelled of horses, hay, and heat. Her hair was wild. Daryl was holding a ring that belonged to a dead man that had wanted to put that same ring on Emma's finger. There was nothing formal or traditional about what was occurring, but Emma didn't care. To her, it was perfect. Those moments between herself and Daryl in the barn were the epitome of their relationship.
"Daryl, ask me." Emma finally spoke. "Don't tell me what to do."
The grin that had disappeared from Daryl's face suddenly returned.
"Emma," Daryl pulled his hand from her face and held the ring up, "will you marry me?"
Emma took a deep breath before she gave an answer she never thought she would give.
"Yes." Emma replied.
Daryl and Emma went in for a kiss at the same time, nearly colliding with each other. As their lips met, they were both smiling. Daryl chuckled amidst their kissing, which caused Emma to laugh. They pulled away from one another so that Daryl could slip the ring onto Emma's finger. She watched as he slowly slid the ring onto her finger. A ray of sunlight caught the sapphire. It was the same color of Daryl's eyes, as if the ring was meant for him to give to Emma all along.
When Emma lifted her eyes from the ring, Daryl's hands grasped her face on either side as he simultaneously gave her a much more serious kiss than before. Emma wrapped one arm around Daryl's neck and held his face with her other hand, her fingers creeping through his facial hair. As Daryl deepened their kiss, Emma gasped, but eagerly complied with his pacing and intensity. Even though it was the middle of the day, and there were others around that could have witnessed it, Daryl carried Emma up the ladder to the place where they had been together for the first time.
"The Way It Will Be" - Gillian Welch [The doctor, Andrea, Kate, Ellen, Todd, and Anna leave]
"Annabelle" - Gillian Welch [Emma cries over Skipper's death]
"Girl From The North Country" - Johnny Cash & Bob Dylan [Daryl proposes to Emma]