There out cold on the bedroom floor lay Ethan and beside him an empty bottle of pills. Cal froze to the spot the minute he saw Ethan unconscious. Then bringing himself out of his shock he rushed over to him. Kneeling down beside him he grabbed the bottle. Paracetamol.
"What have you done, Ethan?" Cal said as he looked at the empty bottle.
Ethan had taken an overdose. Cal sighed. How could he have missed the signs? How could he not have seen Ethan struggling? He had been by his side a whole week and he hadn't noticed. What kind of brother was he? Pulling his phone out from his pocket Cal dialed 999.
"999 operator. What service do you require?"
"I need an ambulance. It's my brother. He's taken an overdose of paracetamol and is unconscious. Breathing is there but laboured, pulse is slow at 35."
"An ambulance is on it's way. ETA 5 minutes."
"Cal? What on earth has happened?" Dixie asked as she entered the familiar house. But, she didn't need an answer. She saw the scene in front of her as she and Iain entered the room.
"Ethan." Iain whispered.
"He's tried to kill himself. Overdose on paracetamol." Cal choked.
Dixie knelt down beside Cal and placed two fingers on Ethan's neck.
"Alright, can you update me on his vitals?" She asked him.
"Breathing is laboured. Pulse is slow at 35 and has remained unconscious for about an hour." Cal replied trying to keep his composure.
"Right, we need to get him to Holby before he suffers a cardiac arrest. Iain get a trolley." Dixie instructed. "Wait scratch that. He's lost his output. I can't feel his pulse."
Cal stepped away. He couldn't deal with what he was seeing. Dixie was starting chest compressions while Iain pumped oxygen into his brother hoping to restart his heart. Every time Dixie pushed down on Ethan's chest hurt Cal more than he would care to admit.
"Dix, he's gone into VF." Iain informed her.
"Right, let's shock him. Charging."
Cal had to look away when he heard the defibrillator send a shock through Ethan and he jolted up. He held his breath hoping Ethan would have an output.
"Come on, Ethan!" Dixie said as she continued chest compressions.
"Come on, mate." Iain urged.
30 minutes into a second round of chest compressions and another shock there was still no output. The three of them hastily placed Ethan on a trolley and drove as fast as they could to the hospital.
"Okay, Ethan has been unconscious for at least 2 hours. Went into cardiac arrest about 10 minutes ago. We had to shock him twice and two rounds of 30 chest compressions. He's had 2 litres of saline." Dixie informed Zoe as they rolled into RESUS.
The team worked frantically as they tried to restart Ethan's heart. Cal watched on helplessly from outside the doors. He prayed Ethan would pull through. He couldn't imagine life without his little brother. Cal felt a hand on his shoulder.
"He'll pull through, mate." Max told him. "You'll see."
Then there was a sound no one wanted to hear. A sound Cal didn't want to hear.
"He's flatlining! Charlie start CPR and I want 5 mg of adrenaline." Cal heard Zoe instruct through the doors.
Cal couldn't stay there any longer. He needed some fresh air and so he ran. Ran away from RESUS, from the hospital. He couldn't be in there. Couldn't stay while his brother died in front of him. He ignored Max shouting at him, telling him to come back. He just ran. Cal screamed as he punched his fist into the wall. Why did Ethan have to kill himself? Why did Ethan have to have this horrible disease? If Cal could he would switch places with Ethan in a heartbeat. If he could he would wish he had it instead. He would rather he have it than his little brother. What seemed like ages, Charlie soon found Cal sitting on a bench outside the pub.
"How's he doing?" Cal asked as Charlie sat beside him.
"He's stable, but not out of the woods just yet." The older man replied.
"Why, Charlie? Why did he do it?"
Charlie shrugged his shoulders.
"I've seen this many times, Cal. So many times people give up because they can't bare the thought of losing their independence, can't bare the thought that they have to rely on others around them to help them. They do it because they don't want to be a burden."
"But, he isn't a burden. Won't be a burden. How can he think that? He's got me." Cal said tears filling his eyes.
"I know you don't want to hear this but, the outcome doesn't look good. He went into VF and asystole twice and our attempts at resuscitating him isn't working. He couldn't breath on his own so we had to intubate him. I hate to say this but, I think it's time to consider..." But Charlie didn't finish his sentence. He knew Cal knew what he was talking about.
"You mean ending his life."