Cal was stuck between sparing his brother's suffering and doing what he thought was best. He didn't want to see his brother suffer anymore than he had to but, at the same time he didn't want to end his life. Cal knew it sounded selfish but, how could he kill his brother? It had been an hour since Charlie had informed him about the option of switching of the machine, but Cal couldn't bring himself to make that decision. He still hadn't gone in to see Ethan not since he was brought in and he didn't know if he could. Sat in the staffroom Cal kept thinking about what he was going to do. The door to the room opened and Zoe entered.
"Cal?"
Cal didn't look up from where he sat. He heard Zoe approach him. Kneeling down in front of him Zoe placed a hand on his knee.
"I assume Charlie's informed you about Ethan's condition." She said quietly. "And I know this is a difficult decision to make, but have you decided what to do next?"
It was then Cal lost it. The anger he had been keeping at bay suddenly exploded.
"HOW CAN YOU THINK I WOULD CHOOSE TO END MY BROTHER'S LIFE? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ASKING ME TO KILL HIM!"
"Cal..." Zoe said softly.
"NO! YOU WANT ME TO SWITCH OFF THE MACHINE THAT'S KEEPING HIM ALIVE, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?"
Zoe shook her head.
"No, of course it's not what we want want. But, it's what Ethan's want."
Cal scoffed.
"What Ethan wants? How do you know it's what he wants?"
Zoe looked at him knowingly.
"Cal, he tried to kill himself. He took an overdose."
Zoe saw Cal was in denial about Ethan's mental health. She knew he wouldn't accept the fact that his brother had attempted to end his life. She knew it was a tough decision to make, knowing you were going to end your brother's life but, Cal needed to make that decision. No one else could.
"Look, I know you don't want to make that decision and I know it's not an easy one to make but..."
Cal looked at Zoe where he stood.
"Easy? Of course, it's not easy. But, I'm not going to make that decision. I won't kill my brother."
"Cal, you know that's unprofessional. If Ethan wants to die then you should let him. Let him have his final wish." Zoe said sadly.
"How is that unprofessional? We're doctors. It's our job to make sure they have a chance of surviving."
"Even if the chance of surviving is non-existent?" Zoe asked.
In his mind Cal knew Zoe was right. He knew it was selfish of him to keep Ethan alive against his wishes. But, his heart kept telling him that Ethan didn't want to die. That he didn't mean to kill himself. It was then Cal broke down and collapsed on the floor shoulders heaving as he sobbed.
"I just can't lose him, Zoe. How can I switch off the machine knowing he's my little brother? How am I supposed to live knowing I was the one who ended his life? He's all I got left, the only one I can call my family. I know I've found my birth mum but, she wasn't the one who cared for me. She wasn't the one who I grew up with. Ethan was. How can I deal with the thought of losing the only family member I have left?"
"I don't know. But, what I do know is that Ethan is in there struggling. He's struggling knowing what his life holds for him. And for him the only way out, the only way to end his suffering is to end his life. It may not be fair on those who love him, those who care about him but, it is Ethan's decision."
"I'm not going to end his life. I'm going to help him get through this. I'm going to be there for him."
"Cal..."
"No, I'm not going to let him die!"
And with his final answer Cal left the staffroom.