Cal's eyes flicked open as he adjusted to his surroundings. He could feel his head pounding and he wondered whether it was because he ad too much to drink. Opening his eyes a bit wider he could just make out a figure, his vision was blurry to see who it was. His eyes soon got used to the light. He blinked a few times.
"Cal, how are you feeling?" Rita asked shining a torch in his eyes.
"Groggy and my head hurts. Why does my head hurt?"
"You've just come out of surgery."
"Surgery?"
And then he remembered. He remembered being on the roof, remembered shouting at his friends that there was no use being alive if Ethan was going to die. Ethan. Was he alive or had Cal switched off the machine? Cal tried to sit up but, Rita pushed him back down.
"Rita, how is he? How's Ethan? Did I switch off the machine? Oh God, did I kill him?" Cal rambled panic feeling his whole body.
"Cal, it's okay. No, you didn't switch off the machine. Ethan's still alive."
Cal leaned back on the pillow and sighed. Thank goodness.
"Can I see him?"
"I'll go check with Zoe, but I'm sure that won't be a problem." She smiled.
Rita found Zoe in her office. When she entered she notice that Zoe was lost in her own thoughts. She gave a quiet cough before speaking.
"Sorry, to disturb you but, Cal has come out of surgery and is now asking he can see Ethan."
"Uh, right..."
"Zoe, are you okay?" Rita asked sensing something was bothering her.
"Yeah, everything's fine. Tell Cal he can go and see him."
Rita nodded and returned to Cal. She helped him into a wheelchair as he was still a bit too weak to walk. She rolled him to the room where Ethan was. Entering the room quietly the two of them could see that Ethan was sleeping so Rita rolled Cal over and placed him beside his brother.
"I'll leave two alone." She whispered.
"Thanks, Rita." Cal whispered back.
Ethan sensed someone beside. He slowly opened his eyes.
"Cal?" He said and then suddenly his whole body shook as tears fell down his cheeks.
"Eth?" Cal asked grabbing his brother's hand in his. "What is it?"
"Why didn't you let me die?" He pleaded. "Why didn't you?"
Cal squeezed his hand tighter.
"Did you really think I would let you die? I'm not about to lose my brother." He said firmly.
"But, I can't live like this. Why didn't Zoe help me to die?"
Cal looked at Ethan. Did he just heard him right?
"What has Zoe got to do with it?" He asked Ethan.
Ethan turned to face him.
"I asked her to help me die. I told Zoe to end my suffering."
"Oh, Ethan." Cal cried as tears formed in his eyes. "Don't say that. It's a good thing that she didn't help you because what am I supposed to do without you? I'm not going to let you kill yourself either."
"Cal, you have to. We both know it's easier this way. I don't want to end my life with no control over my body. I want to end while I have the functions to do so. Please, Cal just let me die. Help me to die." Ethan begged.
Cal firmly shook his head.
"No."
"Cal..."
"No, Ethan! Don't ask me to do this. Don't ask me to kill my brother. I know I don't want to watch you suffer, I know I don't want you to waste away in front of me, but I want to spend the time I've got left with you. I want to spend the last few years with you. I know what the future holds and I am prepared to take care of you."
"Cal, I don't want to be a burden on you."
"No, don't say that." He replied quietly stroking his brother's hair. "You won't be a burden. You're my little brother and it's my job to look after you. I'm not going to let you give up just yet. I will be there for you. Whatever it is we will get through this together."
"Please, Cal. Just let me go. I don't want to end up in a care home in my final years."
Cal stood up from his wheelchair and climbed into the bed beside Ethan. He wrapped his arms around his brother and pulled him against his chest.
"You won't go into a care home. I'll look after you. I promise." He sobbed into his brother's hair.
"Don't make promises you can't keep. You know as well as I do that those with this illness end up in care homes later on. Don't say I won't." Ethan told him.
Cal tightened his hold on Ethan as the grief overtook him. Ethan grabbed onto him.
"I love you, Cal."
"I love you too, Nibbles."
Ethan pulled away from their embrace and looked Cal in the eyes.
"Then let me go." He said softly.
Cal looked at him, his eyes stained with unshed tears and shook his head.
"Don't, Ethan. Please don't ask me to do this." He whispered as he placed a kiss on his brother's head.