(Hachiman POV)
I wouldn't say I hate Yukinoshita Haruno. That wouldn't be fair. After all, even though she gets a kick out of tormenting me and usually leaves a bad taste in my mouth (not literally), she's never done any lasting damage to me, at least not yet.
So I wouldn't say I hate her. It's just that I can't stand to be around maybe I might be a teeny tiny little bit afraid of her.
"Hikigaya-san! What are the odds of meeting you here?" Already, she is beginning to invade my personal space. "It must be fate."
It takes a tremendous effort not to visibly sigh. I wouldn't want to anger the beast, after all.
"More like an unfortunate coincidence." I reply coldly.
She laughs playfully. I have to admit, her fake laugh is a lot more convincing than Hayama's. I wonder if she practices.
"You're such a tsundere, Hikigaya-san. But I like boys who play hard to get."
She doesn't particularly emphasize the term 'boys', yet it feels like that's the only word of any significance in that sentence. She's trying to emphasize her higher level of maturity. In other words, she's subtly exercising her power over me.
"It's all the more satisfying when they become mine." She raises her hand towards my face, and I instinctively lean away. For just the briefest of moments, I thought I saw a crack in her mask, perhaps brought forth by a blow to her pride.
She moves back to give me my personal space again, and it's then that she notices I am not alone.
"Oh? Hikigaya-san, do you have company?" Haruno looks Kuroki up and down. I can tell she's judging everything about her, but it's not like I can do anything about it.
"Yeah. We were just leaving." I say briefly.
"Oh come on. Don't be like that, Hikigaya-san. I'll play nice I swear." Haruno tries to bargain with me to stay. An empty promise if I ever heard one.
I try to brush her off. "Look, I think-"
"Introduce me, Hikigaya-san." Haruno cuts me off, and even though she is still smiling, there is a new, terrifying quality in her expression.
Most likely, escape is now impossible. Kuroki and I have no choice but to face the beast in front of us. "Ahem...Kuroki, this is Yukinoshita-san."
"Haruno-san." She corrects.
"...Yukinoshita Haruno-san." I compromise.
To be honest, I've always avoided calling her by name because I'm never sure what to call her. She says to call her by her first name, and it would be the smart thing to do considering 'Yukinoshita' to me is her little sister. But I'd rather not act so comfortable with a person like this. At least not more than I need to.
"...And Haruno-san, this is Kuroki Tomoko. New student." My introduction is blithe, at best.
"It's nice to meet you, Kuroki-chan!. It's rare for Hikigaya-san to take an interest in someone." Haruno beams and extends a greeting.
"Um..."
Kuroki is not faring well at all. She looks terrified. Idiot. How can I forget, she has social anxiety! Well, I haven't seen it in action since we first met, so it makes sense that I would overlook it. But that doesn't justify the fact that I've put her in a frightening situation.
She can't even look up from the ground. She tries to speak. "I...It's nice to, um...to meet..." She trails off. This isn't good.
I want to help her. It's my fault she's going through this. I decide to say something.
"She's kind of shy." I say. I take a small step towards her as I say this. Physically, that step achieved nothing. Psychologically, it meant I intended to protect her. I wanted her to feel safe in my company.
"I can see that." Haruno concludes disinterestedly.
Tch. You're not even going to feign interest? This isn't easy for Kuroki, you know? The thought makes me wonder. Kuroki has led a social life the complete opposite of the one Haruno has. Where Haruno has always been on top, Kuroki has always been at the bottom. The way they see things, and people, are probably polar opposites. In this regard, Haruno is to Kuroki what Hayama is to me. An Antithesis.
By that logic, maybe it's a good thing Haruno isn't giving Kuroki any attention.
Well, it still doesn't help the situation Kuroki is in right now.
I don't want Kuroki to feel left out, but at the same time I have to redirect the conversation. Social commandeering is not a strong point of mine. Not by a long shot. Even worse is that my opponent is the strongest possible boss.
Still, Kuroki is suffering. I have to try.
"What do you want, Haruno?" I try a direct attack. It's all I can think of.
"You can't go around playing with girls behind Yukino-chan's back, Hikigaya-san." Haruno's response is casual, yet intimidating. Just like herself.
"I don't see why that matters."
"Don't you?" It's a question, yet it's also not.
"I keep telling you, you're jumping to conclusions." My response is vague but it clearly implies I know what she's talking about.
"On the other hand, you're not moving towards a conclusion at all." Her words are just words. Yet I'm scared of continuing the conversation. We're starting to dig deeper than we've ever gone, Haruno and I.
"I don't want to have this conversation right now." I get defensive.
All the amusement in her expression is gone in an instant, and I wonder if she was ever really amused at all. "You don't seem to care what other people want, so why should anyone care about what you want?"
I want to pretend I don't know. Feign ignorance and continue living as I have. But Haruno won't allow it. She seems to be losing patience with my stagnation. I guess she really does care more than she shows.
Still, I try to resist, until the very end where I am forced to confront reality. "Isn't it fine if we want similar things?"
"No, Hikigaya-san. It's not fine. Stop thinking about yourself for a moment." This conversation is quickly becoming less metaphorical and more direct. "If other people want something different from you, but give you what you want because they're too kind or weak to say otherwise, then everyone will suffer in the end." Haruno is on the verge of raising her voice.
I know. I always knew. I've been afraid to face the truth. Afraid that if I look directly at the things I hold dear, they might not be exactly what I thought they were.
"So what should I do then? Should I let others have their way?" I ask with uncertainty.
Haruno seems to soften a little. "No. Of course not. That's no different than simply taking what you want for yourself. But you have to be clear about what you want. And you have to make sure you know what they want."
"...What if they want something different? What if we go our separate ways?" Questions I never wanted to ask. Questions she makes me ask anyway.
"So what? If that's how it happens, then so be it. But Hikigaya-san," Haruno smiles at me. It's a comforting smile. I wonder if anyone else has ever seen it. "Have some courage. If you do, maybe some day you'll get what it is you want."
Have some courage? That's your advice? If it were that easy then maybe I'd have done it. Where am I supposed to find that sort of courage?
"I'll...try." Seeing Haruno strip herself of her precious mask gives me some resolve. "No, I'll do it. I will. I just need time, to gather my courage."
"Of course, Hikigaya-san. I'll be waiting."
Just then, Kuroki speaks up. "Um, Hikigaya. Are you okay?" Ah, that's right. She has confidence only with certain people. In just a few days, it seems I've become one of those people. I face her. She's finally looking up from the ground.
Upon hearing this, Haruno's honest personality washes away, and she's back to her usual self. "Ah, not to worry, Kuroki-chan. Me and my brother-in-law here were just having a conversation about some private things."
"B-brother in law?" Kuroki asks, shocked at the false revelation.
"She's lying. No relation." I say.
"Ahaha, just kidding. Actually, he's my husband." Haruno is teasing the both of us.
"Husband!?"
"First I've heard of this." I announce dryly. Haruno laughs.
Haruno is back to her dishonest, perfect self. It's not my place to say, but I hate it. I hate perfection. It's a lie. Perfection isn't real, it's nothing but a standard set by others. A burden right up until the moment where it can no longer be maintained. I sincerely hope one day someone tears away the lies of perfection that Haruno sets upon herself. She deserves that much.
"Anyway, Hikigaya-san. I think you've learned enough for today. I'll let you and your friend go. For now."
For the first time, I'm not desperate to get rid of her. But I do want to leave, just because Kuroki wants to. So I decide to leave.
"Yeah, I guess we'll go now." I say. Before I leave, I have to say it. 'Hey, Haruno-san. Thank you. For being honest for once."
Kuroki is too awkward to say bye, so we just turn to leave. I take two steps before Haruno calls out.
"Wait, Hikigaya-san." I turn around. Haruno's expression is something I've never seen before so I can't decipher it.
She voices her thoughts. "We ought to hang out more often!" She beams.
I wonder why she'd say that. Haruno isn't one to go out of her way to socialize. After all, socialization is nothing but a game designed with the purpose of creating, modifying, or reaffirming the relationships between people. Haruno has no need for this, because she is already perfectly aware of the relationships she has. It could be that she's just extending a courtesy, but then why would she stop me on my way off just to say it? She knows I'm not one for that sort of bullshit.
Then what? What does she have to gain from saying that? I know she likes to toy with me, but I don't think I'm interesting enough that she would make an active effort to meet up with me. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I saw another side of her. Then it hits me. She's always been high above most people. The few people who aren't below her, tower above like gods. She probably doesn't have anyone she could ever consider an equal.
...No, that's not quite it. In the first place, we're not equals and we both know it. Hayama's the one who strives to find an equal. Haruno wants something different. At this point, I can't be sure what it is, but I think it's someone who can somehow take away the burden of perfection.
"That really depends on you." I answer with finality.
Maybe even Haruno has things she needs to face. I don't think I'm the person to help with that, but until that person comes along, I might have to fill in for a bit.
A few minutes later, Kuroki perks up again. Actually, I just realized I learned a bit about her today. It seems like I was sort of underestimating her social anxiety. Probably because I was able to get inside her shell on the first meeting, I didn't get a good look at said shell from the outside.
"You probably think I'm a weirdo now." She says dejectedly.
"I already did." I offer empathetically.
Kuroki flushes. Cute. "Asshole! You're supposed to say something nice there!" She's shouting out of embarrassment, which ironically seems to do nothing but exacerbate her shame.
"Sorry, I can't help you there. Bullshitting isn't my strong suit."
"Urgh! You suck!"
"But seriously, though. Don't worry about it. You already told me about your anxieties. I wouldn't think any less of you." I try to console her.
Her anger fades, but she's still flustered. "So who was that?" She tries to change the topic.
"That's the elder sister of one of my clubmates. Watch out for her, she's a natural-born sociopath." I say warningly.
"I think I'll just avoid her altogether, if that's okay with you."
"Hah, me too." I jest. But after today, I'm not sure how much I mean it.
"Seems like she knows you pretty well." Kuroki suggests.
"Like I said. Sociopath. She can read people and their intentions like a children's book. She uses that information to propel herself and manipulate people. As a result, she's popular everywhere she goes." A crude summary of her character, but it's undeniably true.
"Did she take a liking to you?"
"I don't know. The only thing I can say for certain is that she is amused by the fact that I can see through her facade."
"So you say." Kuroki replies skeptically.
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing, nothing." She says dismissively. "So you mentioned a clubmate?"
"Oh, yeah. I never told you about my club. Basically it's a club where people come to be a pain in my ass and I try to avoid working."
My synopsis catches her interest. "Oh? sounds interesting. Explain."
"It's called the service club. People come to us with problems they can't resolve on their own, and we help them resolve them. It's usually more complicated than it sounds." My explanation is barebones, but I think it's acceptable anyway.
"What kind of problems?"
"Social ones, mostly."
"Hah. Irony." Kuroki quips.
Wait a minute. I've never realized the irony in that. Me, of all people, solving the social problems of others. Then again, it's fitting. Someone on the inside can't solve a problem, so they need the angle of someone on the outside.
"Hm. Never saw the irony in that until now." I comment offhandedly.
"So who else is in this club of yours?"
"Well, there are two other official members, but there's one other person who likes to make herself welcome there. She's a first year who likes to come in and offload all her work onto us. In fact, she's the Student Council President and a lot of the time sh-"
"Wait!" Kuroki suddenly interjects. What's the big deal?
"What?" I ask, mildly concerned.
"Did you say 'Student Council President'?"
Confrontations ahoy! I knew when I set myself up for this chapter I would have to start digging into some deeper issues, but I wasn't expecting to go so hard on the first meeting.
Also had a bit of real!Haruno in this chapter. I wanted to take a new approach to the development of her character, even if it does potentially seem OOC. Fuck it, at this point you should know by now that I can't tell the difference between character growth and schizophrenia. That being said, in future chapters Haruno might grow a little differently than what you're used to. It's just something I'm trying shut up tho.
I pumped out this chapter a little early because I probably won't get anything done this weekend. Sorry in advance.
fuck you review my story tho