Darn it. I wrote about 4k of this chapter, and then lost it because I failed to save it. Here's to having to write out the same chapter twice. At least it lets me touch up on the dialogue and stuff. Writing fanfiction using the internet browser of a PS4 is a massive pain in the ass. The keyboard gets all funny and if you press the console button even once the page will close.
I'm so touched, guys. over 100 reviews, over 10,000 hits and my story even got added to a community. I'm glad you guys like it. Hopefully I won't disappoint you guys. I have some ideas for future chapters ready, particularly next chapter. This one is slightly longer than normal, and the next one will be slightly shorter.
(Hachiman)
According to this piece of paper with barely legible chicken scribbles, our first destination is a bowling alley. At first I can't help but think it's cliche, but after further consideration, I realize that pretty much anywhere we go has been done a million times before, so in effect, everything is cliche.
So why is it that all romance hopefuls like to insist that their dating experiences are special? Simple, they lie to themselves, like they are so used to doing. They don't even realize how often they do this to themselves. Their self-delusions remain unaddressed right up until the point where they are forcibly dispelled by the harsh realities of the truth. Said truth being the fact that their love lives won't be nearly as magical or satisfying as they had envisioned.
And yet, my job today is to somehow unravel these lies by maintaining them completely. On top of that, my client is someone who is very invested in these types of lies. I have my work cut out for me.
"Senpai, we're here." Isshiki announces. Indeed, we find ourselves standing outside the first castle of illusion, better known as 'Bowling King'.
"Yeah, let's go in."
We enter the building, and approach the front desk. "Two, please." Isshiki asks politely.
The guy working the counter sighs in a horribly depressing way. "Sure." He drawls miserably. "Please exchange your shoes on the left." He drags his words out in a low tone.
It seems like this guy hates living and wants to die. Now I know I'm not in any position to say this, but should such a depressing person really be working the front desk? Seems like a terrible business decision in my opinion. Post him in the back on maintainence or cleanup or something. You're losing customers here, manager-san.
"Okaay then." Isshiki says awkwardly. We get the tickets and promptly finish all our business with this guy.
After exchanging our shoes and getting some seats and a lane, we set up a game.
"You wanna go first? I'm no good at these sorts of things." I say to Isshiki.
"Okay then. Beware, Senpai. I'm amazingly good at bowling." She brags shamelessly.
She steps into our lane. Before she begins, she turns around and faces me. "You'd better not beat my score if you know what's good for you." Isshiki warns me.
Wait, what? So I'm forced to throw the game from the beginning? What's the point in even playing, then!
Isshiki takes a smaller ball from the tray into her tiny hands. Lining up on the lane, she gets a running start and tosses the ball with an "Ei!" sound.
She hit about 7 pins, a decent bowl. Unfortunately...
BZZZZZZZZT
Her throw is invalidated because she ran too far ahead and stepped over the bowling line. I'm far too stoic of a person to laugh at something like that, but I can't help find it funny. Isshiki turns to me, blushing at her embarrassing performance. I thought you were good at this, Isshiki.
"Th-that doesn't count! Do over! Do over!" She spouts immaturely. Sorry, but it doesn't work like that.
"The score's already recorded. Your spectacular failure is chronicled on this computer forever." I tease.
She doesn't take it very well. "Shut up! This sucks! Senpaaaaaii!" She whines at me. What exactly do you expect me to do?
"Look, it's still your turn. You get two bowls in a round. I've never even been here and I know this." I inform her unsympathetically.
"Oh, right. I knew that, hehe." She tries to laugh off her oversight. Her face is a little red, and it's no surprise. She's not looking too cool at the moment.
She takes her second ball, and goes for her second shot. She doesn't overstep the line this time, and her ball goes down the lane. It's careening slightly off to the side, and is nearly in the gutter by the time it reaches the pins.
She hits one pin.
This time, it takes an effort on my behalf not to laugh at her. I bite my lips shut just to be safe. Isshiki turns to me, and appears to be on the verge of tears.
"Senpaaaaaii!" She wails. Oh please don't cry.
"I'm sorry Isshiki. It's not funny. Don't cry." I get out of my seat and try to appease her before she starts crying for real.
"Look, I won't beat your score, like I promised, okay?" I offer in what was supposed to be a comforting tone, but probably sounded condescending because of my naturally flat voice.
It seems to work. "Okay. Thanks, Senpai. You're sweet." She says meekly. She gives me a girlish look as she says it, and her face is still flushed from embarrassment.
It catches me off guard. "Uh...Yeah." I agree shyly. I instinctively look away to keep my composure.
I take my place on the lane as Isshiki takes a seat. I grab a slightly larger ball than what she used.
I turn back to her. "So...don't get more than one pin?" I ask mockingly.
She doesn't appreciate my humor. "Senpaai!" She whines cutely.
"Sorry, couldn't resist." I reply with a grin.
I take a couple of steps back and start my run. I throw the ball in what I think is decent form for a first-timer.
Strike. Ten pins.
Whoops. I freeze in place. There are other people here, but somehow it seems to go quiet. Slowly and carefully, I turn towards Isshiki. She looks flabbergasted, and her eyes and mouth are wide open. We lock eyes, and there's a brief moment of awkward silence.
Then I laugh.
I choke it back immediately, but it's too late. I honestly had no intention of doing that, but I don't think it'll be easy explaining that to Isshiki right now.
I make an attempt to justify myself. "Listen, Isshi-"
"I can't believe you Senpai! You said you've never been bowling before!" She pouts.
"I haven't. That was honestly my first throw." My reply is straight-faced. I forcibly grind the humor out of my voice, which was easy to do once I regained my composure. I'm not normally a humorous person after all.
"Hmph! Beginner's luck! You'd better not win, Senpai" She retorts.
As it turns out, it really was beginner's luck. My subsequent turns are comparable to Isshiki's first turn. My score is littered with poor throws, fouls and gutterballs. Isshiki honestly doesn't fare much better, but she does beat me in the end. Our final scores are rather pitiful. Isshiki's 36 to my measly 29. A rather pathetic match overall.
"Ha! I beat you Senpai, just like I said I would." Isshiki boasts, rather inappropriately.
"Oh? You're so cocky now, yet you were almost in tears earlier on." I remark condescendingly.
"Watch it, Senpai." She tries to sound threatening.
It doesn't work. "Yeah yeah."
A comfortable silence comes between us, and we get ready to leave.
"...Hey Senpai." Isshiki breaks the silence.
"Hm?"
"You seem...different today." She remarks
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Nevermind. It's a little weird, but I think I like this kind of Senpai too."
Is that a confession? It is, right? I sense an opportunity.
"Ah, sorry Isshiki. I appreciate your feelings, but you have to understand I just can't accept-"
She interjects. "See? That's what I mean, Senpai! Were you always the type to have a sense of humor?"
What? I've always had a sense of humor. It's just been too sophisticated for someone like you to appreciate it. Well, I say sophisticated, but anyone else would probably describe it as twisted and cynical.
"Sorry." I apologize without thinking about it. I have no idea why I did. Is it something to be sorry about?
"It's nothing to be sorry about, Senpai." Isshiki assures me. "Even if you change your attitude, you'll still be my Senpai. The truth is, Senpai, despite your awful personality, you're my most dependable Senpai." She smiles comfortingly.
Woman, do you not even realize when you're insulting people? I swear you just do it without realizing sometimes. I thought you cared about people saw you.
"That's why I chose you for this request, Senpai."
Ah, dammit. That was too cute.
"...Thanks, Isshiki."
She shakes her head, smiling. "It's nothing. Shall we get going?"
(Tomoko)
Our first stop is a fast food resturant. It's funny, I used to dream of being able to go to a burger joint with a group of friends, and now that I'm here I just want to go home. I think I made a half-decent first impression, but I still feel like I'm on edge. I am, after all, the odd one out here. I'm not a part of this clique, and beyond that, I'm just not like these people.
We line up to order. Well, 'line up' is a rather loose term for what we did. Our large group of 7 people can't muster the organizational abilities to form a line. Instead, we stand in a messy cluster behind the people ordering at the counter. I can't believe how chatty this group is being. It feels like they're the only ones making noise in here. It was probably peaceful before we barged in here.
It's our turn to order. All of them order different things, and I sort of pity the employee who has to take 6 seperate orders at the same time.
"Kuroki-chan, what do you feel like?" Hayama asks politely.
I don't really know. I have enough yen to get by for the week, but I'm not in a position to be splurging on overpriced fast foods.
"Um...I'm not really that hungry." I tell him.
"I'll pay for yours, like I said I would. So don't be shy." He beams.
Well, that's an opportunity I'd be stupid to pass up. However, I look over Hayama's shoulder, and Miura is looking at me with a curious expression, as if she wanted to ask what the deal was. I don't want to step on her toes, she's far too commanding and I feel like it's more trouble than it's worth.
"No thanks. I'm okay." I decline. I wish I didn't. I'm actually kind of hungry.
"Are you sure? I really don't mind." He offers again, giving me one last chance to change my mind.
This time, I sack up and accept his offer. "Well, if you insist...I'll have, um...that one, please." I point to something that doesn't look expensive.
"Sure thing!" He agrees.
"Thanks." I say curtly. I kept my gratitude brief because I'm nervous, but I wonder if it sounded unappreciative instead.
We get our food and take a seat around a big, round table. Obviously, I'm gonna take the end seat[1]. They fill in, and I sit down last.
"Itadakimasu." Hayama says first.
"Itadakimaaasu!" The rest of the group parrots him.
"-tadakimasu." I add, trying to pretend I said it with them, when I actually almost missed my cue.
I see. I had my suspicions, but Hayama really is the head of this group, huh? I feel like if he wants something, the rest of them will suddenly want the same thing. Perhaps the reason they are playing nice with me is because it was Hayama who brought me in.
What an uncomfortable thought. Exactly what I needed to calm my nerves. Dipshit.
Then I get a thought. Is that the reason the group holds Hikigaya in high regard? Because Hayama won't leave him alone? I don't really get the dynamic between those two, but I'll make sure to ask Hikigaya about it later.
Anyway, we all dig in. Hey, this is pretty good! Thanks Hayama bro. You're a total poser but I appreciate the free meal.
They engage in small talk while they eat. I follow the conversation, but find myself unable to interject anywhere. Mostly, they are talking about things they've already experienced together, so it makes sense I would have a hard time butting in.
Suddenly, Hina redirects the conversation. "Say, Kuroki-chan. Why did you transfer so late in the year anyway?"
The question catches me off guard. The boys mount the pressure by adding their opinions. "Yeah. I thought it was like, super wierd to transfer now, you know?"
My mind scrambles to build a believable lie. There's no way I could possibly tell them the truth.
"Well..." I try to stall while I begin weaving a story.
"Basically...I can't go back there anymore." I finish pathetically. What the hell? I'm good at making things up. Why am I coming up with nothing?
Hina gives me this look of understanding. I'm not sure how she interpreted it, but it seems to satisfy her for now.
"Ah, it's fine if you don't want to talk about it." She says comfortingly.
The others chime in, with stuff like "Yeah, don't sweat it Kuroki-chan" and "We understand."
Huh. Maybe I still got it after all.
"Thanks." I offer my false appreciation.
The conversation returns to meaningless chatter, and once again I follow along without much input. Eventually, we all finish eating. I actually finished first. I kept trying to keep my mouth full, as if to keep it occupied and justifying my silence.
"Aah, the totally hit the spot." Kakeru sighs contentedly, and stretches his arms in the air.
I get up and grab my trash, walking it over to the trash bin, which for some reason is stationed all the way on the other end of the building. It's an ambiguous action. I was in the corner seat, so me getting up first was also to let the others out without anyone having to ask me to move. I thought it was clever, but actually if I think about it, it's probably not something normal people have to think about.
When I get back, the seats are empty, and everyone's trash is gone. How the hell did they dispose of theirs before me?
I look to Kakeru, who is putting his trash in the bin...right next to our seat. "Urgh! There was a trash bin right there!"
My outburst catches his attention, and he grins at me. "Ahaha! You didn't see, Kuroki-chan? You went all the way to the other side of the building for nothing." He laughs. It's not that funny, seaweed head.
"Shall we get a move on?" Hayama throws the question in the air.
He gets a couple of grunts in response, and the group heads out the door. Me, of course, following at the back like before.
"So, what's next?" One of the forgettable side characters asks.
"Karaoke!" Seaweed head yells out a terrible idea.
Fuck that. I can barely talk to these people, there's no way in hell I'm singing with then.
"Lame, Tobecchi. We did that like, last week." Miura shoots him down.
I agree. Lame, Tobecchi. Your ideas suck.
"Aw c'mon!" He whines. "We totally had fun, didn't we?" He presses the issue. Shut the fuck up Tobecchi!.
"Karaoke sounds alright." Hayama agrees with him. Shit. If my earlier speculations were accurate, then karaoke is pretty much set in stone now.
"Fine. If you say so, Hayato." Miura immediately relents, and adopts a slightly more girlish tone. It's...wierd seeing her change like that. Hikigaya was right. She's hopeless for him.
But that's not important. What's important is that I have to bail.
"Uh..." I get everyone's attention. "I think I'm gonna go now. Thanks for the food." I offer quickly.
"Oh? Too shy to sing?" Miura catches me with an impolite question before I can escape.
"N-no. I just don't feel lik-"
Kakeru interrupts me. "Well now you have to go! Right guys?"
No. I certainly fucking don't have to go.
Unfortunately, it's me against them. Every single one of them agrees with Kakeru, I mean Tobecchi, I mean seaweed hair, I mean the red-haired asshole.
I try to defend myself. "Guys I don't know..."
Hayama tries to coerce me. "It'll be fun. We won't judge, we promise. Right guys?"
Again, the group agrees. This is beginning to feel a lot like peer pressure.
Hina grabs my hand. "We'll make sure it's a comfortable atmosphere, okay?"
And with that, I am off to my execution.
(Hachiman)
"Senpai, where to next?" Isshiki asks as we leave Bowling King.
You already know what's next, we're running on your schedule. Lying to yourself is unhealthy, you know. I mean, you knoooooow.
"Looks like we're going to the movies."
"Ooh! great idea, Senpai! What sort of movie did you have in mind?" She perks up, as if she really didn't know I was going to say that.
"I dunno." I take out the schedule. It's hard to read, and for some reason I think to solve this problem by bringing it close to my face and squinting. Not entirely unlike those idiots who speak louder and slower when met with a language barrier.
"Jeez, Senpai. Take this seriously." She pouts. Actually, I think you're taking this a little too seriously.
"Right, uh..." I make an attempt to read the chicken scribbles aloud. "Fiiiinal...Illusion?" Is that a real title? I hope I read that wrong because if not then someone in the writing industry needs a career change.
Then, I look up from my paper and spot Hayama's clique across the street.
"Hey, is that Hayama?"
Isshiki immediately snaps her head in the same direction I'm facing. She spots them, too.
"Hayama-senpai..." She mutters.
She looks over at them with eyes of longing.
She's blushing. She looks like a girl in love.
She wanted to get rid of her feelings for Hayama, but of course it wouldn't be that simple. If it were that easy to choose who you love, then teen romantic comedies wouldn't exist.
With that thought, I suddenly remember what Yuigahama said in the clubroom today.
...
I see. I think I understand the spirit of her request.
If I'm right, then her real problem is that either that she's unsure of her feelings, or she has conflicting feelings, and it's making her restless. That's probably why she seemed so distracted yesterday, and the reason she made this absurd request. She probably felt like everything would be simpler if she never felt anything for Hayama at all. Unfortunately, she was unable to do this on her own, which is why she turned to me. She did say she thought I was dependable, after all.
Yeah right, she was probably just kissing ass so I would take up the request.
...No, that's just a convenient excuse. If I want to help Isshiki, I have to face the truth.
"It might be Senpai, huh?"
Most likely, Isshiki developed complicated feelings for me at some point.
Her problem was that, while harbouring these feelings, she still held the same feelings for Hayama. She's been torn between these emotions, unable to decide which ones to act upon.
I'm still considering the strong possibility that I'm overthinking everything, and my history with romance makes me want to deny everything and brush off my theory as conceited or naive. But with Isshiki's happiness on the line, I have to put aside my pessimistic doubts and apply logic to the situation.
So how then, do I solve a request like this? If her problem is that she can't come to terms with how she feels, how can I make it so she can?
Make her hate you.
No. I stop myself. A solution like that leaves everyone miserable. It's heinous and unforgivable. Acting on logic alone to solve emotional problems will only lead to pain. Even worse is that Isshiki will suffer. Being the veteran loner I am, I could handle Isshiki never talking to me again, and I'm no stranger to being hated, but I can't stand seeing her suffer. Not anymore. We've become too close.
But then what? What can I use, if not logic? In the first place, the reason I became the logical monster was because I saw solutions that nobody else could. Time and again, we encountered problems that even the prodigal Yukinoshita could not solve without casualties. Time and again, the monster had to save the day because the heroes could do nothing. Time and again, people suffered because they cared about me.
I'm no longer the person who uses accepts an outcome like that. It'll always be a part of me, because it's the monster who led me to where I am today. I would never admit it, but I'll always see the logical solution before anything else. I'd never tell the people I care about, but I would become a monster again if it meant I could protect them.
But right now, I have to find a simpler solution.
Wait a minute. That's it. A simpler solution. Isshiki's problem is that she can't choose between her old and new feelings. Maybe she doesn't have to. If I lead her to believe that both options are okay, she might find some peace.
All I have to do...is make nice with Hayama.
This better work.
"...Oi, Isshiki. Should we ask if we can join them?" I suggest warmly. The sound of my voice breaks her out of her stupor.
"Eh? Senpai, what are you saying? We're on a date." Her face is etched with surprise.
"I thought about it, I think it's better if we join them." I say. Better for you, that is. The best thing for me would be to go home and relax.
"Senpai, have you forgotten my request? Wouldn't joining them totally negate our efforts today?"
I want to sigh. That makes so much sense that I almost agree. "I didn't forget. I think it would be the best way to resolve the spirit of your request."
"...Eh? Yui-senpai said something like that. What does that even mean?"
This time, I do sigh. To be honest, explaining it would be a pain. "It's not important. All you need to know is that your Senpai is looking out for you."
Ah, dammit. Poor choice of wording.
"Eh? Senpai, are you hitting on me? I'm sorry but there's just no way we'd ever work it out. I'll admit you've been kind of charming lately but that's not enough to win my heart. I'm sorry."
Yep, I knew that was coming. Actually, is that something you should say to me after asking me out on a date?
"Don't say that to someone you're on a date with, idiot." I berate her. I can't help but smirk a little, though.
Isshiki giggles a little. "You're right. I should stop leading you on, huh? You might misunderstand."
"But there's not much to misunderstand, is there?" I suddenly stop smirking and shoot her a look between smugness and boredom.
"...Eh?" Isshiki makes a not-so-intelligent face at me, and pauses. I raise my eyebrows at her.
...
She gasps, and her face flushes. She breaks eye contact. I try not to grin.
"I know you well, don't I Kouhai?" I turn her earlier words on her.
"Whatever. Let's go join Hayama-senpai, who is way cooler and more handsome than you, by the way." She huffs, and quickly walks past me.
While she's not looking, I make a smug face. I turn to follow her, but she stops.
"...Erm, did you see which way they went?"
Ah, whoops. We took too long, and they took off. I scan the streets, and spot them at the end of the block. It's a good thing riajuus like to stop in random places and talk about pointless nonsense. And I just reminded myself that I'm not going to enjoy this.
"Over there." I point at them.
She follows my finger, and spots them too. "Ah, let's run before they disappear."
She takes off first. She said we should run, but what she's doing could be, at best, described as a light jog. I don't even need to copy her. I just walk faster and take bigger strides.
Luckily, the gaggle of riajuus are still gasbagging in the same spot when we get there.
"Hayama-senpaaaaii!" Isshiki calls out to them.
They turn to face us, and I almost laugh when I finally get a good look at them.
"Is that Kuroki?"
To HachIroha shippers, I'm sorry if you feel trolled by this chapter. In the first place, I never intended for Isshiki to so easily give up on her long time crush, but rather show that she was swayed by the revelation that she might also be into the 8man. As the story progresses, her crush on Hayama will gradually get more mild. It'll be part of her character development in the future. I'm considering changing the second genre to humor or drama, just because there won't be any serious developments in romance for a while. I promise 8man won't end up alone tho.
As for our heroes, by this point I'm trying to show a little bit of mixing between Hachiman and Tomoko's personalities. That is, Tomoko's new, emerging personality. Not her introverted personality when she's drowning in anxiety, and not her obnoxious, deluded personality when she's alone. That being said, Tomoko has only seen glimpses of Hachiman's original personality, so she won't be emulating it much. She'll instead be interpreting the personality she brings out in him.
Hachiman is starting to bring out a new persona, too. It's more of a witty, edgy personality with a slightly twisted sense of humor. At least, this is what I think he'd be like if he didn't have such a dark and unfortunate adolescence.
Of course, people don't just completely change all that fast. You'll still see their old selves throughout the entire story. For example, Hachiman will occasionally monologue and say despicable things, and Tomoko will still be making rude quips in her head and may occasionally lie about herself. This will be most noticable when they are in familiar environments like when Hachiman is in the service club, or when Tomoko encounters a ghost from her past...
Also, I've never been bowling. We don't have bowling alleys anywhere near where I live. I don't know how accurate my interpretation of bowling is, because my only references are what I've seen in media. If I misrepresented bowling...Oh well. It's done now.
And if anyone was still confused, chapter one has not yet happened in the story. It'll be next week, chronologically.
I was going to do something else with that depressing guy at the bowling alley but decided not to. I left him in just because IDK lel.
[1] Psychology lesson. If someone is in an uncomfortable meeting, they will instinctively position themselves close to the nearest exit. Kuroki took the end seat because she was nervous and also because she didn't want people on either side of her.