The next Saturday, the alarm went off at six o'clock. Forty-five minutes later than normal, but Elsie still cursed when it jolted her from sleep.

Then she remembered why she had woken at that time.

Best get up now, or else you'll never have the nerve.

All through her shower (she was amazed that she could see the bump when unclothed, it seemed bigger every day), then in the car drinking watered-down tea, she talked to herself, trying to find the right words that she would say to Becky and Adam.

Driving out of town towards the main highway, she glanced at the road that broke away, heading in the direction of the cabin. She allowed herself a few minutes of happy reflection, thinking of Charles. Of him on his knees, embracing her by the river, with tears on his face.

My wonderful man. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes.

He's overjoyed about the baby. But cautious.

I can't blame him for that.

For fear of gossip, she could not visit any of the doctors in town. She had heard from a friend about the Scottish-born Dr. Clarkson in Pikeville, and had gone to two appointments there; the first, to confirm the pregnancy, and the second for a follow-up. His familiar accent and words reassured her.

"You're healthy and everything looks normal," he had said at her last visit. "We have to be a little more careful because of your age, but right now there is nothing to fear."

She was afraid of what Becky would say. Her sister and brother-in-law had no idea of the affair. Elsie was not sure what to pray for. She thought she would settle for them simply listening to her. Still, her stomach clenched with anxiety.

If only she could figure out what to say.

0000000000000

Adam seemed to not know where to look. He kept glancing at her across the table, then back down, then up again. His fingers tapped without stopping. Becky leaned forward on her elbows, her eyes closed, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Um," Adam began. He swallowed and cleared his throat. "Uh, when did you say this started? Eighteen months ago?"

Elsie was beyond grateful her brother-in-law was staying calm. From her sister's body language, she wasn't sure how much longer it would be before Becky exploded.

"A year and a half, yes," she whispered. "We-we didn't plan it-"

"I sure as hell hope not," Becky snapped, raising her head, her dark blue eyes blazing. Adam touched her arm.

"We know neither you nor Charles planned to have an affair," he said, ignoring Becky's snort. "But the fact of the matter is, you did." He sat back in his chair, pulling on the hair around his bald patch. "And it's disappointing to us, I won't deny it. But he's filed for divorce? You're sure?"

"Yes," Elsie said, her voice trembling. "I've spoken with his attorney by phone, Mr. Napier. The petition was filed on Thursday."

Becky covered her face with her hands before dropping them onto the table. "What does Beryl say about this? I can't believe that she wouldn't have known about your affair, not if it went on that long! And if she did know about it, I can't believe she wouldn't tell us!"

"She's known about our relationship for several months," Elsie bit her lip. "But not about the baby. She didn't approve of us being together, she was quite vocal about it to both Charles and I." She sipped water, feeling her chapped lips. "She's been telling him for years to get a divorce. But she didn't tell the two of you because I wanted to tell you myself. I just couldn't find the courage to do so. I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes down, a lump in her throat.

Adam looked at his watch and got up. "I have to go pick the girls up from practice. I'll drop by Nick's house on the way and pick up Jason, and take the kids out for breakfast." His eyes flickered towards Elsie. "Brandon won't get off work until this afternoon, so you should have plenty of time to talk." He kissed Becky on the cheek and left. The two women sat quietly until the garage door had closed.

Her sister raised her coffee cup to her lips, then slammed it onto the table, spilling the hot liquid. "What the hell were you thinking, Els?" She stood up, pacing, running her fingers through her dark brown hair. "You've broken every decent rule! What am I supposed to think – my sister's the other woman! A real life Jolene! Good God," she stormed, "I've never had a reason to be ashamed of you until now. Damnit, Elsie!" Her voice broke, and she wiped her eyes. "You haven't thought of your family, your nephews and nieces. What are we supposed to tell them? Brandon and Jason are old enough to know the truth – but what about Emily and Liza? They're too young right now. Have you thought about them? What about Adam? He's torn, he's been friends with Charles forever, but he's known Alice just as long-" she continued, her voice rising.

Elsie wanted to sink through the floor, her face aflame. Is it worth it? To bear the shame? She isn't saying anything that isn't true.

"It's not as though we didn't see how miserable Charles was for years," Becky cried. "Adam thought it was a miracle that he didn't divorce Alice years ago, or have an affair. But he knew better than to be so stupid, or that's what we thought. And you certainly knew better." She broke down, letting out a sob. "You're no better than Mam." She collapsed into a kitchen chair and put her head down on the table, weeping.

If she had punched her multiple times, she could not have said anything that would have made Elsie feel worse. The impact made her gasp, and her tears brewing beneath the surface broke through and flowed down her face.

If I'm no better than our mother, I might as well be dead.

She put her hands over her mouth to muffle her sobs, a physical pain in her chest.

"It's the principle of the thing," Becky said, her voice muffled through her arms. "It doesn't matter that Alice left him more than once, or that he was unhappy. He should have done something about it sooner." She raised her head, her face blotchy. "But you damn well knew better! You looked after me when we were kids, and pretty much raised me after Da died." Her lower lip quivered. "Why, Els? Why did you do it? I know Charles is half to blame, but I'm asking you. It wouldn't make it right, but at least I'd understand why this happened." She sounded like a little girl. She sniffed and looked at her sister directly.

"Oh God," she whispered, moving around the table to sit next to her. "I was angry, I still am, but-I-I didn't mean to say that, not about you and Mam. I'm sorry," she hesitantly reached out and touched Elsie's shoulder.

A sob escaped Elsie's mouth as she put a hand on Becky's. "I'm sorry, Beebee. For not telling you sooner. For everything," she murmured. They cried together for several minutes, their heads leaning on each other's shoulders, their brown and red hair mixed together.

Eventually, they pulled apart and Becky got up to get a box of tissues and to mop up the spilled coffee.

"Will you tell me? How it started?" she asked quietly. "I remember when you and Charles met, at our wedding. But you didn't see him on a regular basis, not until Mama Patmore died three years ago and Beryl asked you to move down and help her."

Elsie nodded, thinking. "That's right. But something happened on your wedding day – nothing improper between Charles and I," she said quickly. "But I remembered it for years. I told you that Mam was at the hotel that morning."

Becky raised her eyebrows. "Yes, and she was totally sloshed. I'm glad you got her kicked out."

"Well, Charles saw it. He saw everything," Elsie nodded as Becky's mouth dropped open. "You remember how she could be. It was bad."

Shaking her head with incredulity, Becky leaned forward as Elsie began.